Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Furry Elise

    | Sydney, Australia |

    (Note: I work at a music and DVD store, and as titles often share words, it’s important to be clear with customers.)

    Customer: “Do you have a Beethoven box-set?”

    Me: “As in the dog? Or–”

    Customer: *like at me like I’m an idiot* “Um, is there any other?!”

    Minute Power Corrupts Minutely

    | USA |

    (I am working at the returns counter. A normal-looking soccer mom-type is trying to exchange a shirt with no receipt that we do not carry any longer. Because of this, I can neither exchange nor return it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but without your receipt there’s really nothing I can do. We don’t carry that shirt anymore, and it’s not even in our system.”

    Customer: “You must love it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “The power to tell people no! You must LOVE it!” *storms off*

    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name, Part 2

    | Canton, MI, USA |

    Me: “Photo and Media department, this is Kat. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Oh, yes…Hi, Jennifer. I was wondering if you had a certain item in stock…”

    Related:
    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name

    A Debt Of Debts

    | Wisconsin, USA | Money

    (We have a store credit card which you can pay at any register. I am working in customer service and an older lady approaches.)

    Me: “How may I help you today?”

    Customer: *shoves her bill towards me* “I just want to pay this ALL off! I told my daughter, I don’t want to owe anything! I just HATE to owe!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. Let me just process this payment for you.”

    Customer: *writing a check* “Yes, I just can’t OWE all this money. I don’t like it!”

    Me: “Well, here we go. It’s all taken care of! Now you don’t owe anything.”

    Customer: “I forgot to ask. Can I purchase a gift card here?”

    Me: “Certainly. I can help you with that!” *starts to ring up gift card*

    Customer: “Now, can I put that on my [store] card?”

    Customers Should Watch Their Language, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (I have moderate competency in Mandarin Chinese, but it is not apparent because I’m not Asian.)

    Me: “Hello! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer #1: “No, we’re just looking.”

    Customer #2: “Just looking.”

    Me: “All right, just let me know if you need any help.”

    Customer #1: *in Mandarin* “I told her to go away. She doesn’t listen!”

    Customer #2: *in Mandarin* “She’s a dumb girl. Just ignore her.”

    Me: *in Mandarin* “Hey look, the dumb girl speaks Mandarin.”

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