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    Who Needs Learnin’ When You Can Be Sun Burnin’

    | Canton, MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (A coworker and I are cleaning up the magazines. A father and his two kids are walking by.)

    Father: *to his son* “I just can’t believe you’re wasting your time looking at books when it’s such a nice day outside!”

    Breaking Peter To Fix Paul

    | Eden Prairie, MN, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I work as a cashier at an electronics retailer. A customer walks up with a computer lapdesk that opens up so it can store small items. Normally, two clips hold these shut.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, one of the two clips is broken off.”

    Me: “Oh geez, I’m sorry! Do you wanna grab another one that’s not defective?”

    Customer: “Sure…” *leaves the broken lapdesk with me*

    (I give the broken one to a fellow cashier so they can take it back to the service desk and defect it out. Several minutes later, the customer returns.)

    Customer: *holding a new lapdesk* “Hey! Where’s the other lapdesk?”

    Me: “Oh, I gave it to customer service because it was defective. We can ring this up now—”

    Customer: “But I need the first one!

    Me: “Wait…why?”

    Customer: *holds up a lapdesk clip* “I broke one off the new one to put on the old one!”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 6

    | New Jersey, USA | Geography, History

    (My university has a very long winter break which allows me to work over the holidays. I am working the Christmas season when a customer begins to make small talk.)

    Customer: “What high school do you go to, sweetheart?”

    Me: “I am actually in college and am just working seasonal.”

    Customer: “Oh! Where do you go?”

    Me: “The University of Delaware.”

    Customer: “What state is that in?”

    Me: “Delaware.”

    Customer: “Yes, honey, I heard you but what state is that in?”

    Me: “The state is Delaware.”

    Customer: “When did Delaware become a state?”

    Me: “It was the first state in 1776.”

    Customer: *stays quiet for the rest of the transaction*

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 5
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    Pac-Man Runs On Fruits

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work at a game store that sells board games, card games, RPGs, and puzzles. We sometimes get unknowing customers who want video games or handheld electronic games.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any of those Pac-Man games that you plug into the TV?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry any electronic games here.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? I’m just looking for the Pac-Man game. It doesn’t need electricity.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but what you are looking for is indeed electronic. We don’t carry those kinds of games here.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand what you are saying. It’s just a Pac-Man game!” *walks away*

    We Prefer Hipsters Over Hellcats

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer comes over to the small cosmetic service station that I am posted at. All the while, she’s talking on her phone and sounds quite upset.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: *to phone* “Sorry, got go.” *hangs up*

    Me: “Ma’am—”

    Customer: “SHUT UP YOU, D*** HIPSTER!”

    (Note: I’m wearing prescription Ray Bans and have a eyebrow piercing.)

    Me: “Uhm—”

    Customer: “You heard me the first time! Not another word! You probably don’t even need those glasses!”

    (Without warning, the customer rips the glasses from my face. She throws them on the ground, shattering the lenses.)

    Me: “Oh my God!”

    Customer: “Look! You are fine!”

    (My coworker comes over to see what all the commotion is about.)

    Coworker: “What is going on?”

    Customer: “This b**** was trying to look like a hipster!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, she actually needed those to see. Now get out before I call security!”

    Customer: “F*** you! F***ing hipsters taking over!”

    (Enraged, the customer grabs a makeup display, tips it over, and starts throwing around items from a nearby shelf. Security rushes over and takes her out of the store while she screams profanities. The total damage cost is over $200 worth of products, not including my glasses.)

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