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    Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance, Part 2

    | NH, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I am working in the clothing section of a department store when I overhear this conversation. Note: I work with a very nice woman who moved to America from India about ten years ago.)

    Mother: “Did you find everything you needed, hon?”

    Child: “Yep! A really nice Indian lady helped me.”

    Mother: “No, no! We don’t say Indian. We say ‘Native American.’”

    Child: “No, mom, not that kind of Indian. One from India!”

    Mother: “Don’t be silly, hon. We took their country from them, not gave them one.”

    Related:
    Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance

    Children Of The Corn Aisle

    | Athens, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (A women comes in with six children. They are all whining, complaining, and touching everything they can find.)
     
    Me: “Are they all yours?”
     
    Customer: “Girl, you crazy!?” *she looks at the kids* “Two, Three and Five, raise your hands!”
     
    (Three of the children raise their hands.)
     
    Customer: “They’re my babies. The rest of these, I don’t know. They just follow me around!”

    Don’t Make A Rash Purchase

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I need a matte eye-shadow because I’m allergic to shiny.”
     
    Me: “Do you know what ingredient you’re allergic to in shiny eyeshadow?”
     
    Customer: “Shiny! You know, shiny! I’m very sensitive!”
     
    Me: “Well, our matte eye-shadows are here.”
     
    (I pull aside the testers for the few matte products we have.)
     
    Customer: “Can I try this one?”
     
    Me: “Sure!”
     
    (I go to get a disposable brush. When I turn around, the customer has her eyes closed and is holding the tester millimeters from her eye. She opens her eyes to see me staring at her holding out a brush.)
     
    Customer: “I’m not allergic. I can tell using muscle testing. I’m very sensitive! This is a good one! What other colors do you have?”
     
    (She spent the next 20 minutes holding various products ‘testing them’ and announcing everything she was allergic to.)

    The Customer Is Always Righteous

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion

    (A regular customer comes into our store. She’s known to be very difficult to please.)

    Customer: “Good evening.”

    Me: *cheerily, while ringing her items up* “Good evening, ma’am! That’s $5.31, please.”

    (She puts a credit card down in front of me, which I ring through the register.)

    Me: “If you could please sign right there…”

    (I point, and she does. I bag her items and hand her the bag, her credit card, and her receipt. She takes them slowly and I think I’ve done a good job, but apparently not.)

    Customer: “You dishonor me! You dishonor me and you will burn for it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “God honors me! You don’t, and you will burn! I don’t know, I’m not God. But that’s what he’s saying. You dishonor me and you will burn!” *walks away*

    Me: *totally speechless*

    Backwards Driving, Loopy Logic

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I work in a store with a donut-shaped, one-way parking lot.)

    Customer: “Your parking lot is way too dangerous! I was trying to go for a spot and someone came the other way. There was no space to get around each other! What if we crashed?”

    Me: “Which way did you go when you entered the lot? Straight or to the right?”

    Customer: “I went straight, towards the doors! What does that matter?”

    Me: “Well, everyone is supposed to go one way in the parking lot to avoid that kind of situation.”

    Customer: “Then that idiot was going the wrong way! Someone should be out there monitoring the lot!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, you’re supposed to turn right when you enter the parking lot. Everyone moves in a counter-clockwise direction.”

    Customer: “And I’m supposed to just know that? The road should be marked!”

    Me: “It is, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It certainly is not!”

    (I lead the customer to a window overlooking the lot and the customer sees enormous white arrows painted the entire way through, showing which way to go.)

    Customer: “What, you expect me to be looking at the road when I drive!?”


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