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    Priceless Priced Less

    | MO, USA |

    (This lady has been in the store for at least an hour, building a large pile of merchandise.)

    Customer: “Okay, I’m ready to check out. You can take off the sale prices.”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You can take the discounts off. I won’t be needing them after all. The insurance will reimburse me, so it doesn’t matter how much I spend.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t exactly take off the sale prices. I would need to call my manager.”

    Customer: “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just pay the sale prices. My shed burnt down, you know. I have to replace everything. Priceless items! My grandma gave me a popcorn maker for Christmas when I was a kid that was in there! I had custom-made curtains worth thousands of dollars in there! Heirloom dishes! So many things irreplaceable!”

    Me: “Wow, that’s awful! So, if I might ask, why were these irreplaceable items in the shed, and not your house?

    Customer: “Oh, it was all from some garage sale.”

    No Customers, I Hate Customers

    | IL, USA |

    (I am working the front register when a gentleman comes up and puts his items on the counter.)

    Customer: “No bag. I hate bags!”

    Me: “No problem, sir. That will be $27.89.”

    (The customer pays with cash.)

    Me: “Your change is $0.11. Here’s your receipt.”

    Customer: “Keep the receipt. I hate paper!”

    You Need The Male Order Catalogue

    | Des Moines, IA, USA |

    (I work at a retail store as a tech person. We also work the sales floor. A lady walks in and and I go over to help her.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you look for anything?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a husband.”

    Me: “What does he look like?”

    Customer: “No, I’m looking for a husband!”

    Seeing Oneself In Others

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada |

    (A regular comes in and hangs out for a while. Clearly, he doesn’t really want to go back to work.)

    Customer: “It’s boring there. I don’t want to go back.”

    (He sees a mannequin dressed in camo.)

    Customer: “Can I take him with me? He’d blend right in.” *chuckles*

    Me: “Um…he’s a tad heavy and falls apart a lot.”

    Customer: “Perfect. He’s just like me!”

    When In Rome (Or Canada)…

    | British Columbia, Canada | Canada, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a tourist shop where we get Americans on a regular basis.)

    Me: “Would you like to pay by credit card?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you know where I can find a Bank of America?”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but there isn’t any around here.”

    Customer: “So you guys don’t have Bank of America.”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, this is Canada.”

    Related:
    When In Rome (Or An Indian Restaurant)…
    When In Rome (Or A Kosher Deli)…


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