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    No ID, No Idea, Part 3

    | Akron, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer is trying to pay with an unsigned card.)

    Me: “Ma’am, since your credit card is not signed I will need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t have it. I left it with someone at [department store] because they’re signing me up for one of their credit cards. Can’t you just put it through?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, no. Do you have another form of payment?”

    Customer: “Oh for God’s sake! This is ridiculous! I’ll be right back!” *storms off*

    (Because she has already put a gift card toward the purchase, I have to wait several minutes for my busy manager to come cancel the transaction before I can ring any other customers. The customer’s signature is still on the pad when she returns.)

    Customer: “Fine! Here’s my ID! And you left my signature up on the screen for anyone to see!”

    Me: “I assure you, no one else approached the register while you were gone.”

    Customer: “Someone could have stolen my identity!”

    Me: “But you left your ID and social security number with a stranger in another store?”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    Losing Cruise Control

    | Keene, NH, USA | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners, Tourists/Travel

    (I am working in the fitting room when a woman walks up to my counter.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How many items?”

    Customer: “You don’t sell winter jackets, do you? I didn’t see any. Nothing like this that I bought at [other store]. This cost me only eighty-nine dollars!”

    Me: “That’s very nice, ma’am.”

    (I try to remain friendly as the woman shows me her jacket, her purse, and the shoes she is currently wearing. This goes on for about ten minutes.)

    Customer: “You know, I went on a cruise a few weeks ago. Now I need to buy a swim suit, but I don’t suppose you have any, do you?”

    Me: “Actually, we just got a bunch of bathing suits in a few weeks ago. They’re over in the corner of the women’s department.”

    (The customer spends about ten more minutes telling me about all of the different cruises she had been on. I’m trying not to be rude, but I have other customers who are trying to get into the fitting room. One by one they go in, and one by one this customer stops them to tell them about all of her cruises. All in all, this lasts for about fifteen more minutes.)

    Customer: “And would you believe that I’m fifty eight years old! I look great for my age, don’t you think? It’s because of all of the cruises I’ve been on! At least two a year. I’m very rich.”

    Me: “That’s nice, ma’am.”

    (Eventually, the customer’s husband comes over and grabs her by the arm.)

    Customer’s husband: “Why are you still over here?! You’ve been here for nearly half an hour.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was just telling this nice young lady about all of the cruises you’ve taken me on!”

    Customer’s husband: “You’ve never been on a god d*** cruise in your entire life, you old bat!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8

    | Broomfield, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer is paying her credit card bill.)

    Me: “Would you like to pay with cash, check, or debit card?”

    Customer: “I can pay with a debit card?”

    Me: “You sure can.”

    (The customer slides her card.)

    Customer: “I don’t remember my pin. I’ll just try one.”

    (The customer’s card is declined.)

    Me: “Do you want to try again?”

    Customer: “No, my mom will use her card.”

    (The customer’s mother tries, but she doesn’t remember her PIN either.)

    Me: “You can pay with cash or a check.”

    (The customer pulls a folded check from her pocket and hands it to me. I open it to see that it’s blank.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “Oh, am I supposed to fill that out?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Ignoring The Staff Is Its Own Reward

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (During the Christmas rush, a customer comes into my line talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. Would you like a protection plan with this?”

    (Customer ignores me.)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, ma’am?”

    (Customer continues to ignore me.)

    Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

    (Customer stops talking on her phone and looks at me.)

    Customer: “What about my rewards card?”

    Me: “Well, I asked you if you had one, but you were too busy talking.”

    Customer: “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    28 Years Later

    , | Bloomington, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Top

    (A little old lady approaches the counter.)

    Little old lady: “Do you carry flamethrowers?


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