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    Trick And/Or Treat

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Family & Kids

    (It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

    Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

    Son: “Why not?!”

    Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”

    How Berry Rude Of You

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m straightening things in the store and I have just finished an aisle. As I walk into the next aisle, which contains candles, I see a customer looking at the candles. He looks very angry and makes a strange face when he sees me walking towards him.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “You don’t have mulberry. That’s rude!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You should be!” *stomps out of the aisle*

    Instant Rebate, Instant Headache

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “Do you work in this department?”

    Me: “No, but I’d be happy to help you if you have a question.”

    Customer: “How does this rebate work?”

    Me: “This is an instant rebate. All you need to do is to take the item to any register and you’ll get the item for the rebate price.”

    Customer: “How long does it take?”

    Me: “Our instant rebates happen instantly.”

    Customer: “Do I get a store credit, or something?”

    Me: “No, you get the rebate right away, so you just pay a lower price.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a lot of time today. How long does it take?”

    Me: “It happens instantly, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Maybe I should find someone who works in this department!” *walks off*

    Used And Abused

    | Canada | Bizarre, Top

    (I work as a cashier at a well known retail store. Sometimes we get customers who take “customer is always right” to a whole new level.)

    Me: “So, how did you find everything today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Terrible. I would like to return this bra I purchased recently. It just doesn’t fit right.”

    Me: “Alright then, I just need your receipt and the item.”

    (The customer hands items over and I look over the receipt. Note, our company has a quite a long term for returns and exchanges, but this customer is way past that point.)

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, I’m sorry but you’ve exceeded our 90 day returns and exchange policy. I cannot give you a refund for this item.”

    Customer: *outraged* “What?! I bought this just last week! You people sized me wrong! It doesn’t fit me and I refuse to wear a bra that doesn’t fit me properly! I am the customer and you have to do what I say!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can give you a store credit for it. I just need to examine the bra.”

    (I take out the clearly used bra and look it over.)

    Me: “Okay, if you can just give me a second, I need my manager to verify this for me.”

    Customer: “If you must.”

    (I go get my manager and tell her the situation. Normally we do not accept refunds on items that have been used, especially if they are past the 90 days term.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept this item to be returned. It’s clearly been worn and it’s certainly past your exchange and return period.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Did she tell you that? She’s lying. I bought this last week and I never wore it! It doesn’t fit right! I am the customer! Do as I say or I’ll have my lawyer come in and have you both prostituted!”

    Please Activate Your Brain While You’re At It

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | At The Checkout

    (I’m cashiering at a large department store. I have a customer who is really pushing my buttons by requesting different things in different bags and just being a pain in the butt. By the time she’s ready to pay, I just want her out of there.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your card was declined. You can try it again though, if you like.”

    Customer: “Wow, that’s weird. This card is brand new.”

    (She swipes it again, signs, and it is once again declined.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, it still won’t go through. Do you have another card?”

    (The customer spends ten minutes looking through her wallet and finally emerges with another card and swipes it through. She keeps looking at her first card while the second card is processing.)

    Customer: “Do you think it didn’t work cause I didn’t activate it?”

    Me: “Yeah, probably.”

    Customer: “Why do they make you do that anyway?!”

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