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    Stranger In A Sweet Land

    | FL, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for this movie. It was a funny movie and it is fairly new.”

    Me: “Okay, can you tell me who is in it?”

    Customer: “That fat guy from Superbad?”

    Me: “Is it this movie?” *I pick up ‘Get him to the Greek’*

    Customer: “Yeah! Thanks! Have a piece of candy.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I put the candy in my pocket, and walk to the counter to ring him up.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Customer: “You have a nice smile. You know what you win?”

    Me: “No. What do I win?”

    Customer: “A better piece of candy!”

    (He hands me another piece of candy and walks out swinging his bag.)

    Manager, to me: “Don’t eat that candy. It’s stranger candy.”

    (Opposite Se)X-Men

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Top

    (A little boy comes through my line holding a Wolverine figure. I scan it first and give it back to him before his parents groceries.)

    Me: “So is Wolverine your favorite?”

    Boy: *looks at me confused*

    Me: “More then Beast or Nightcrawler?”

    Boy: *tilts his head, more puzzled*

    Me: “Rogue’s always been my favorite.”

    Boy: “Bu-But, you’re old. And a girl!”

    Adapt Your Knowledge Or Become Incontinent

    | FL, USA | Tourists/Travel

    (A customer is looking for a travel adapter for Egypt.)

    Me: “Here is one that will work. It is for Africa?”

    Customer: “I am not going to Africa. I am going to Egypt!”

    Me: “Egypt is on the African continent.”

    Customer: “Africa is a continent?”

    Don’t Get Your Pantyhose In A Twist

    | Canada | Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners

    (The phone rings. My co-worker, a very proper, older lady, answers it.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [name of store] Beauty Department. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you have pantyhose on?”

    Coworker: “I beg your pardon?”

    Caller: “Do you have pantyhose on?”

    Coworker: *shocked* “Oh my! Such filth! I have never in my life!”

    (She hangs up and runs to the break room completely flustered. A minute later the phone rings again and I answer it this time.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store name] Beauty Department, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes hello, I would like to know if you have pantyhose on sale this week? My husband called to check for me a moment ago and somebody hung up on him.”

    Get The Correct Word, Step By Step

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Funny Names, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m stocking the shelves in the electronics/gadgets section when a husband and wife come over. The husband is shouting behind the wife.)

    Husband, to me: “Pedometer! She wants a PEDOMETER!”

    Wife, to husband: “Shut up! I know what I want!”

    Husband: “Tell her it’s a Pedometer!”

    Wife, to me: “Hi, do you have any pedofi–”

    Me: “Pedometers!”


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