October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Real Life Cookie Monster

| New Zealand | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

(A middle aged couple comes to my checkout.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Wife: “Fine, thank you.”

Husband: *grumbles*

(I proceed to pack their shopping, when suddenly the male customer starts looking angry.)

Husband: “I think you hate your job! I think you want to quit!”

Me: “Um, no… I quite enjoy it.”

Husband: “Well, you will get fired! You don’t show a proper respect!”

Wife: “Henry, calm down.”

Me: “I don’t know how I offended you, sir.”

Husband: “No, not to me! Show proper respect to those biscuits!”

Light On The Brain Cells

| Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

(I am working in the office supplies section in late July.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have any more of these pencil boxes?”

Me: “Right over here.” *points*

Customer: “Great. I need 29 more. I’m a first grade teacher.”

Me: “That’s nice of you.”

Customer: “There’s only five left in the blue.”

Me: “I apologize, but we do have 20 black ones left. Except for the color, they are identical.”

Customer: “I can’t get black for first graders. It will scare them.”

Me: “Okay. Well, you can try the back to school area, but I doubt they’ll have more than one or two blue left. You’ll have to keep coming back throughout the summer to get 29 more in the blue.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you.” *scoots off to school section*

(Not 15 minutes later, the customer is back putting black cases in her cart.)

Me: “I see you decided to get the black ones after all; excellent choice.”

Customer: “I know. Now I have to cover them in stickers so the children won’t be scared!”

Should Have Kept A Record Of The Record

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(I am working in the music section of a department store.)

Customer: “I’m looking for a song, but I don’t know who it’s by.”

Me: “That’s okay. Do you remember how it goes or any of the lyrics?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Was it a male or female singer?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “What type of music was it? Fast, slow, rock, etc?”

Customer: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “Do you remember anything about the song?”

Customer: “I think it had an ‘A’ somewhere in it.”

In The Pubic Eye

| Singapore | Rude & Risque

(I work at a underwear store that sells both female and male underwear and sleepwear. I’m a female and the customer is a male. The shop is quite small.)

Me: “Hi, welcome. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “Er, do you have any new pyjama shorts?” *points at the ladies section*

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have any new stock currently. Is there something else you would like to buy?”

Customer: “What about the panties?”

Me: “Oh, yes. We have new stocks for those; they just came in yesterday. They are all there.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, they are new! What size do you think I’m wearing?”

Me: *already in a state of shock* “Oh, I think if it was you a size ‘M’ would be alright.”

Customer: “But I was previously wearing size ‘S’!”

(He pulls down his pants and “shows” me. Some things you can never unsee.)

Why Tech-Support Needs Hazard Pay

The Gift Card That Keeps Giving

| Greeley, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am working the register over Christmas.)

Me: “Find everything today?”

Customer: “Yup.”

(Note: she is silent through the transaction, which includes a gift card.)

Me: “How much would you like on this?”

Customer: “Oh, sorry. Can I have $150?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: *after paying* “Can you do me a favor?” *she hands me the gift card* “The next customer you see that you think could use this, could you give it to them?”

Me: *stunned* “…Of course!”

(After a minute another customer comes up, a visibly upset young woman.)

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer #2: “I’m okay, thanks.”

(Clearly she is not ok, but she is trying very hard to be pleasant. She is getting very basic items: milk, bread, eggs, etc. Nothing very festive.)

Me: “So your total comes out to $0.00.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “The person before you gave me a $150 gift card to use for the next person I thought could use it. You look like you’re having a rough day, so here are your groceries, and there’s about $130 left on this card.”

(The customer just started crying. Once she could, she thanked me about 100 times. Made my whole Christmas season.)

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