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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Tiger, Tiger, Fake And Bright

    | Missoula, MT, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, is your tiger fur made of real tiger?”

    Me: “No. All of our fur is fake. It’s made of polyester.”

    Customer: “Tigers are made of polyester?”

    Humor Isn’t Just Skin Deep

    | Stockport, UK |

    Me:” Hi, how are you? Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a protective foreskin for my phone.”

    (There is a slight pause and we both burst out laughing.)

    Me: “I think I know what you mean. They’re just over here.”

    Well, It Sure Beats Atkins

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (A customer emails in a query regarding one of our products.)

    Customer: “If it were a matter of life or death, could I eat this product? If so, what would happen? The label says ‘safe & non-toxic’, yet it also says ‘do not eat’. This seems contradictory. Please clarify ASAP. I’m starving.”

    Me: “You would have to contact the manufacturer of the item. I recommend that you should not eat anything that says ‘safe & non-toxic’ because this could be referring to biodegradable elements of this product, and should not be used for dietary nutrition. I hope you find something else to eat.”

    Not Thinking Inside The Box, Part 2

    | Leander, TX, USA |

    (I am a cashier. I see a woman taking her items out of a storage box in her cart, and placing them on the conveyor belt.)

    Me: “Would you like everything just back in the box, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I don’t think they’ll fit!”

    Related:
    Not Thinking Inside The Box
    Thinking Outside The Box
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    Never Out Of Laughing Stock

    | UK |

    Customer: “How much for [item]?”

    Me: “£15.”

    Customer: “The guy round the corner does them for thirteen.”

    Me: “Well, why didn’t you buy one from him, then?”

    Customer: “He’s out of stock.”

    Me: “Well, when we’re out of stock, we only charge ten.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll come back when you’re out of stock, then.”


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