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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    From The Mouth Of Babes

    | MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a major retail store in the deli. Two children aged 8 and 5 come up to order food. The 5 year old is close to touching the lower part of the hot case.)

    Me: “Careful sweetie, this is kept very hot and you could burn yourself.” *to the 8 year old* “You’d be surprised how many people burn themselves on this thing.”

    8 year old: “Well, they all obviously need glasses, because there’s a warning that says ‘Caution: Hot!’ right in front of their faces.”

    Me: “You’re more intelligent than most adults who come up here!”

    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3

    | CO, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (I am working at the guest service desk at a big box store. It is customary when a box is returned that we open the box and check that all the content are inside.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to return this vacuum. It doesn’t work very well. I have my receipt.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do for you…”

    (I take the opened box and as I’m trained to do, look inside. Instead of the vacuum picture on the size, there is a different vacuum inside. In fact, this vacuum is a different size and brand, and is very much used.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that you have placed the wrong vacuum inside this box. It looks like you are trying to return your old, used vacuum and keep the new one.”

    Customer: *picks up box and runs out of the store*

    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    Send Him To The Sister Store

    | Rahway, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (Our newest employee is a very sweet 18-year-old girl. She’s only been working for a week, when a customer starts giving her a hard time.)

    Rude Customer: “You f***ing b****! Can’t you do s*** right?!”

    18-year-old Cashier: *trying not to cry* “Sir, I’m sorry! You told me to take-”

    Rude Customer: “Forget it! I’ll go to [similar store nearby], where they actually hire decent people!”

    18-year-old Cashier: “I was only-”

    Rude Customer: “F*** you! You’re probably some b**** who’s never worked a day in her life! I bet you’re not even in school! Probably just waiting to get knocked up so you can live on welfare and sit on your lazy fat a** all day!”

    (He continues screaming at her and making disparaging remarks. I’m about to get the manager when a female customer walks in, sees what’s going on and speaks up.)

    Female Customer: “Hey, will you shut up and stop being such a jacka**?! What’s your problem?!”

    Rude Customer: “This b**** can’t do s*** right! She shouldn’t be working if she’s too stupid to do anything!”

    Female Customer: “That ‘b****’ is my big sister and if you call her that again, I’ll knock your f***ing head off!”

    Rude Customer: “Please! You’re probably about as worthless as her!”

    Female Customer: “Try me.”

    Rude Customer: “Crazy b****!” *runs out*

    (It turned out the female customer really was the cashier’s sister. We were scared the cashier wouldn’t come back after that day, but she did and told us the guy was smart to run away because her sister, who’s only 15, really could’ve injured him if she fought!)

    Reaching The Tipping Point

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Money

    (It’s our delivery day at the store, and most of the employees are unloading onto the shelves. The store is very busy with customers. I’m stocking shelves when an older gentleman walks into my aisle.)

    Me: “Good evening. Can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Oh, no thank you, I’m doing alright. I appreciate you asking, though.”

    (I go back to stacking when the customer comes down to my end of the aisle.)

    Customer: “Thank you very much!”

    (As he says this, he reaches for my hand, and I think that I’m holding what it was he was looking for. When I look down, however, I see he’s placed a five dollar bill in my hand instead.)

    Me: “Oh, uh…”

    Customer: *with a smile* “Every little bit helps!”

    (Before I can say anything, he walks away. A little while later, I get called up to the registers. While there, I see the same gentleman has just finished his purchase. A coworker of mine walks up to join me.)

    Coworker: “Hey, see that guy over there? I was in the aisles just now and he came up to shake my hand and thank me for helping him. In his hand was five bucks!”

    Me: “Wow, that’s really nice!”

    Coworker: “The thing is, I helped him last time he was here, but I didn’t do anything this time. I wonder if he’s been going up to all of us like that.”

    Me: “Sounds like it.”

    (Just then, we notice two carts full of shopping bags sitting alone, near where the gentleman had been standing a moment ago.)

    Coworker: “I think those must be his carts.”

    Me: “That’ll take him a couple trips. Why don’t we take these out to him?”

    (My coworker and I wheel the carts out to the parking lot, where we see the customer loading his car on the far side. We bring them over to him.)

    Customer: “Oh, thank you! I don’t normally shop like this, but I had a lot of stuff to get this time. I can take care of it from here.”

    Me: “All right, sir. You have a good night!”

    (Later on, we checked with some of the other employees; as we suspected, he had gone around and tipped all the employees!)

    No Shame In The Blame Game

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

    (We sell candles and during sales usually make a mountain out of our left over stock on a display table. A young girl around age 10 has picked up one of the candles from the group, sniffed it and put it back down and began to walk away. Suddenly a loud crash sounds and several candles on the other side of the table fall to the floor. A woman had just picked up a candle and is standing in front of the fallen candles.)

    Woman: “I didn’t do it! It was that kid’s fault!”

    Kid: “What? The candles fell on your side of the table.”

    Woman: “Shut up you little brat! I saw you knock over those candles! You should be ashamed of yourself! This is why kids should not be allowed in public. Where is your mother!?”

    (Having witnessed the ordeal, I walk over and chime in.)

    Me: “Ma’am, she wasn’t touching the candles when they fell, and you are holding the same scent of candle that is on the floor.”

    Woman: “This is what is wrong with kids today! They are so sheltered! They have no idea how to take responsibility for their actions! How will they function in the real world?” *looks to the little girl* “You are in for a nasty shock when mommy and daddy are no longer around, brat!”

    (The whole store is watching in silence. My manager walks over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am I am going to have to ask you to pay for the items you smashed or leave the store.”

    Woman: *dumbfounded* “I am a loyal, paying customer. You can’t treat me this way! You are only making me pay because this brat doesn’t have any money. I will never shop here again!”

    Manager: “Good. Now leave. We’re a family-friendly establishment.”

    Woman: “Children are ruining society!” *storms out*

    (The little girl seemed a little upset but was not crying and said she was okay. Another customer bought her a nice perfume and body lotion set and our manager gave her one of our rubber ducks!)