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    Ignoring The Signs

    | Duluth, MN, USA |

    (Note that I wear hearing aides, but I don’t understand more than one phrase of sign language. However, I do quite well if someone is facing me.)

    Me: “Are you finding everything okay?”

    Customer: “Actually I need some help. I’m looking for–” *turns away while mumbling*

    Me: “Ma’am, can you face me and repeat that? I have a minor hearing problem, and you won’t have to repeat yourself so much if you face me.”

    Customer: “Oh! Would signing be easier?”

    Me: “Actually, I don’t speak a word of sign, so if–”

    Customer: *signs*

    Me: “Ma’am, I actually don’t–”

    Customer: *continues signing*

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t understand what you’re saying. If you could please just tell me what you need, I can help you easier.”

    Customer: *still signing and not saying a word*

    Me: *in sign language* “I don’t understand sign language.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

    More Than One Chimp By The Name Of George

    | Bakersfield, CA, USA |

    (I am working putting items on a display rack and a customer comes up to me.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you know George?”

    (I am thinking she is asking if someone named George works here.)

    Me: “George who?”

    Customer: “You know, the George.”

    Me: “George? George Bush, George Foreman? George…who?”

    Customer: “You know the George.”

    (At this point, the customer puts her hands up to her arm pits and starts acting like a monkey.)

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Do you mean Curious George?”

    Customer: “Yes! Yes, The Curious George…do you have him?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry we don’t have any Curious Georges.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

    Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight

    | Anamosa, IA, USA |

    (I don’t work here. I am wearing work boots, jeans, and a muscle shirt, not anything close to the employee dress code. An elderly woman wearing glasses approaches me looking confused.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Can you help me find epoxy?”

    (Having just been in that section, I decide to just show her where it is.)

    Me: “Uh, sure. Follow me.”

    (I take her back to the hardware department and explain to her the different kinds and recommend one for her.)

    Customer: “Thank you so much.”

    Me: “You’re welcome, Have a nice day.”

    Customer: *adjusts glasses* “Oh my, you don’t work here, do you?”

    Me: “No, I do not.”

    Customer: “Well, thank you again sir.” *walks off*

    (My buddy comes by at this time and asks what I was doing.)

    Me: “Helping an old lady. I hope she’s not driving.”

    Scented For An Electrifying Experience

    | Illinois, USA | Bizarre

    Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Me: “Yes, can I help you with something?

    Customer: “I need to speak with your supervisor.”

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your restrooms smell like electricity!”

    Me: “I’ll…get a manager.”

    Honesty In A Modern Age

    | Lakewood, CO, USA | Technology

    Me: “Hey, you look like you’re looking for something in particular. What brings you into [store] today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need to buy a USB port. Where you guys keep them?”

    Me: “So, what is it you’re trying to do? Do you just need a USB hub? Are you trying to get more USB ports on your computer?”

    Customer: “No, I just need a USB port. My friend’s trying to get some pictures off her computer.”

    Me: “Oh, so you need a flash drive?”

    Customer: *laughing* “Yeah, I guess it’s been one of those days. I’m sure you’re going to go and tell all your co-workers about this aren’t you? That’s fine, I was an idiot.”

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