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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    The Price Is Always Right

    | Auckland, New Zealand |

    (I put a customer’s purchase through. The computer automatically discounts the purchase from $35 to $29.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, you’ve made some mistake. The price isn’t correct on the screen.”

    Me: “Yes, there’s actually a discount on some of your items.”

    Customer: “No. I added the prices as I went around. I’m very good at maths, and you’ve processed the sale wrong.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’m confused. You would rather pay the full price?”

    Customer: “Give me your manager.”

    (My manager has overheard most of this.)

    Manager: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “Your staff has processed my sale completely wrong. I demand that you correct this.”

    Manager: “Of course.” *bumps the price up* “The price is $35, ma’am.”

    Customer: *glowering in my direction* “Didn’t hurt, did it?”

    Application Confrontation

    | Turlock, CA, USA | Top

    (I’m walking the floor. A customer walks through the front door and approaches me.)

    Customer: *mutters* “Where do I go to fill out an application?”

    (I have a walkie-talkie and headset on. When the customer asks her question, my manager begins to speak to me over the walkie.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t quite catch that.”

    Customer: *raised voice* “Where. Can. I. Go. To. Get. An. App-li-ca-tion? Don’t they teach you how to listen here?”

    Me: “Yes, they do. Someone was talking in my ear, so I didn’t hear you the first time. You can pick up an application over here.”

    (I walk her to the application kiosk. About an hour goes by, and I get a call on the walkie that a customer wants to see me. It’s the same customer.)

    Customer: “Oh, you again. I just finished with my application. Is there a manager or human resources available to talk to? Should I repeat myself again?”

    Me: “You’re talking to him.”

    Born Yesterday

    | Allentown, PA, USA | History

    (Several teenage patrons are reading the ‘What does your birthday mean?’ keychains.)

    Teenager #1: “Mine’s September 11th. Wasn’t that, like, a bad day in history or something?”

    Me: “How old are you guys?”

    All teens: “Thirteen!”

    (I do quick mental math. I realize they were only six when the twin towers fell.)

    Me: “Yes. It was a very bad day. Members of an extremist group hijacked some planes and–”

    (While reading a keychain from the day the Berlin Wall fell, the second teenager interrupts me.)

    Teenager #2: “Hey! What does ‘co-MUNE-ism’ mean?”

    See If He’ll Fetch The Schtick

    | Kansas City, KS, USA |

    (A customer comes in and is looking at our Hanukkah stuff for dogs.)

    Customer: “How cute! Hanukkah stuff for dogs.”

    Me: “We also have Hanukkah collars.”

    Customer: “How do you know if your dog is Jewish?”

    Taxing Faxing, Part 8

    | NY, USA | Technology

    Me: “If you can fax me the paperwork by the end of the day, we can deliver it on Friday.”

    Customer: “I just have to run out and get some more ink for my printer. Hopefully, I’ll be back by 5 to send it.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said you already had the form filled out. If you still need to print it, it might be a bit difficult to get it to us.”

    Customer: “No. I have it filled out. I can’t send a fax without ink!”

    Me: “That’s okay. We have ink in our printer, so it will still
    come though.”

    Customer: “You obviously know nothing about technology!”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing


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