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    Of Low Prices And Lower Expectations

    | Ft. Wayne, IN, USA | Holidays, Top

    (Every item in our store is one dollar.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need help with your Christmas ties. I can’t get them to work.”

    (The ties in question play music when you press the button.)

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. All you have to do is press the button firmly and hold for two seconds. The button isn’t super sensitive to light presses to avoid the music playing from an accidental press.”

    (I show the customer the difference between lightly pushing and intentionally pushing the button.)

    Customer: *lightly pushes the button* “See, these don’t work!”

    Me: “Ma’am, just press and hold the button for 2 seconds.”

    (I demonstrate again in case she hadn’t seen it the first time.)

    Customer: *pushes button several times very quickly* “You must be lying to me. It still doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all you have to do is push the button once and hold it for 2 seconds.”

    Customer: *pushes and holds button* “Finally! These aren’t very good quality, are they?!”

    (Another customer who has been listening from the next aisle speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Ugh, lady, you’re in a dollar store! It’s a Christmas tie. You press the button for two seconds and it plays music. It costs a dollar. What more do you want?!”

    We Smurfs Stick Together

    , | Michigan, USA | Top

    Manager: “And who was helping you today?”

    Customer #1: *points to me* “That nice blue haired girl over there. I think it’s so fun that she has blue hair. Very unique.”

    Manager: “We think it’s awesome. Have a good day!” *turns to next customer* “Hello! Who helped you out today?”

    Customer #2: *points to me* “That heathen with the blue devil hair and no makeup on.”

    Manager: “That’ll be $34.50. You have a nice day.”

    Customer #2: *yells across store* “Thank you for the help, heathen!”

    Every worker in the store: “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

    Peace On Earth, Or At Least During The Day Shift

    | Illinois, USA |

    (The store is open Easter Sunday. We only have three people on duty: two salesmen and myself.)

    Customer: “Wow, I’m really surprised you’re open on Easter!”

    Me: “Well, it doesn’t matter to us. I’m Muslim and my salesmen here are Jewish. We offered to work today so the other employees could celebrate the holiday.”

    Customer: “And you all get along?”

    Me: “Um…yes.”

    Customer: “I didn’t think that was allowed!”

    Tis The Season To Be Tired (Of Customers)

    , | San Mateo, CA, USA | Holidays

    (During the Christmas season, we managers at my store often work 12+ hour days. This day is one of them, and I have been there since 7:30 in the morning; it is now 8 pm. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Wow, you sure look tired. When did you start?”

    Me: “7:30–”

    Customer: “That’s the problem with today’s generation. Can’t work a full day without looking like they are falling asleep!”

    Me: “AM, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *walks off with a blank stare on his face*

    Perhaps It’s The Space Between Their Ears

    | Australia |

    (A customer rushes in flustered.)

    Me: “Can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need something, but I’m not sure what.”

    Me: “Uh, okay. Is it an appliance, like a kettle or toaster, or are you after a TV or vacuum cleaner?”

    Customer: *getting agitated* “No! I need something, you know to clean between my floor and ceiling!”

    Me: confused “So…to clean the room?”

    Customer: “You people are all the same, trying to sell me something every time I’m in here!” *storms out*

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