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    Harry Potter And The Delusions Of Grandeur

    | BC, Canada |

    (I am working at the information desk where I look up titles for customers that can’t find what they’re looking for. An older woman approaches me with a request.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, my son likes these movies. Oh, I forget what they’re called. It has three series written by an English lady. The boy has a mental disorder and he’s acting out.”

    (I start giving her options of BBC documentaries, shows, etc.)

    Me: “Do you remember any of the actors? Anything about what they were wearing, what they looked like, etc.?”

    Customer: “The main boy has round glasses.”

    Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: *laughing* “What made you think he had a mental disorder?”

    Customer: “He was at a big state hospital!”

    Definitely Not On The DIY Channel

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids

    (I work at a kids clothing store and a customer comes in with his wife. He is holding his newborn baby.)

    Customer: “Look what we made!”

    Eau De Bahamas

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    (I am walking by a small selection of candles our store holds.)

    Customer: “Honey! Vacation! It smells like vacation!”

    (Now I’m curious and walk over.)

    Me: “Sir, what fragrance do you have there?”

    Customer: “VACATION!” *beams*

    This Spud’s Obviously Not For You

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    (I am working at the produce department.)

    Customer: “These potatoes smell like dirt.”

    Me: “Well, of course they do ma’am. Potatoes grow in the ground.”

    Customer: *shocked* “That is just disgusting. What kind of potatoes do you people buy?!”

    Me: “Regular ones?”

    Customer: *drops the potatoes on the ground and storms out*

    When The Unforgettable Meets The Incorrigible

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA |

    (I have just started working at popular women’s lingerie store and still don’t really know all of the bras that we sell.)

    Customer: “I am looking for a bra. I don’t know the name of it, but I know what it looks like.”

    Me: “Well, if you can tell me about it, I can help you find it.”

    Customer: “I think it’s called the Unstoppable.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s the Unforgettable.”

    Customer: “No, no, that’s not it.”

    Me: “Well, would you like me to show you the bra I have in mind?”

    Customer: “No, thank you! You have been no help at all and if I see a manager, I’m going to talk to her.”

    (The customer walks off and then comes back holding the Unforgettable bra.)

    Customer: “I found it! It was the Unforgettable, just like I told you!”

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