Inching Away From Intelligence, Part 2

| Onley, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work in the electronics department of a large retail store. I receive a phone call one morning.)

Me: “Hello? Electronics department, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Well, I’m on your website looking at your [brand name] TVs. You got two on here I like, a 26 inch and a 32 inch. What’s the difference?”

Me: “Well, sir. It depends. Are they Plasma, LCD, LED?”

Customer: *cutting me off* “No, no, no! I don’t care about any of that. I just wanna know which one’s bigger!”

Related:
Inching Away From Intelligence

This ‘Real Man’ Requires A Substitute

| BC, Canada | Bigotry, Top

(I’ve just started a new job after having a baby a few months back. I’m a single mother. I am processing my first refund-to-gift-card transaction. I’m having a little bit of trouble with it, so I ask if they would mind if I called my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This is my first time doing this. Would you mind if I phoned my manager to ask him how it’s done?”

Customer: “Go figure! That’s what happens when we start hiring women! They can’t do anything right, can they? You ought to be barefoot pregnant in the kitchen, not taking jobs from hardworking men.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I actually just started this job after having a baby.”

Customer: “So, you’re leaving a real man at home to look after your child while you take money for yourself?”

Me: *appalled* “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m just going to call my manager to ask him how the refund is done.”

Customer: “Go home to your b*****d baby! Leave the jobs to real men!”

(At this point, a tall metal head-looking man, with long hair, piercings, and ripped jeans approaches the counter behind the man. I recognize him as a teacher who’d substituted for some classes when I was in school. He speaks up.)

Substitute Teacher: “If all the jobs are for hardworking men, what the h*** are you doing here at two in the afternoon instead of working?”

(The customer turns white at the sight of him, gathers up his items and runs off without getting his refund. I thanked the substitute with my first ever gift card transaction, and he took me out to dinner. He, my baby and I have been a family ever since!)

A Very Moral Figure(ine)

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

(I work at a small, family-owned and operated movie store that also sells various movie/anime merchandise. Lately, we’ve been having trouble with a specific group of kids coming in and stealing from us. I’m currently managing the register when I notice one of the kids in the group entering the store, being pulled in by his mother. She sees me and heads over to my counter. The owner also sees this and heads over towards us.)

Mother: “I’m really hoping you can help me.”

(She reaches into her purse, pulls out an anime figurine, and places it on the counter.)

Mother: “See, I was cleaning my son’s room yesterday when I found this on his desk. I did a little more cleaning and I found its box that had your store’s price tag on it. Despite what he says, I know that I didn’t buy it for him; I believe he stole from you all. So, we’re here to return it and make this right.”

Me: “I’m happy that you want to do the right thing and all, but unfortunately I’m unable to return opened merchandise, especially without its original packaging.”

Mother: “Please, you have to take this back. I work two jobs just to pay the bills; I can’t afford this toy nor does he deserve it. There must be some way.”

Owner: “Ma’am, I appreciate you coming in and trying to do the right thing. I know it wasn’t you who stole from me; it was your son. With all due respect, I don’t believe you should have to waste your hard earned money to fix his mistake. With your permission, I’d like to suggest an alternative solution.”

(The owner’s solution? Every Saturday for the next two months, that kid came in and ‘volunteered’ to help out around the store. At the end of the two months, he learned a valuable lesson and even paid for the stolen figurine.)

All Sighs Point To No

| MD, USA | Uncategorized

(A lady calls and complains to our store.)

Me: “Good Afternoon, [name of store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to speak with a manager!”

Me: “Sure, no problem!”

Manager: “Hello, this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was just in your store eating my lunch in your little cafe, and your cashier on register #11 offended me.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What did she do to offend you?”

Customer: “She yawned.”

Manager: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “She yawned, and I was so offended that I could not eat my lunch. She should not be paid to just stand there and yawn.”

Manager: “Uhm…” *dumbfounded*

Customer: “I did not want to say anything to her because she was very large.”

Manager: “Okay ma’am, I will tell her to stop yawning and to get more sleep at night.”

Customer: “Thank you so much!” *hangs up*

Cash-Back-And-Forth

| Lincolnshire, England, UK | Money

(Whenever a customer asks for cash-back, I always repeat the amount back to them just to make sure I have heard correctly.)

Customer: “Can I have £30?”

Me: “That’s £30?”

Customer: “No, £30.”

Me: “Yes, £30 cash-back?”

Customer: “No, I want £30.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I said, £30 cash-back.

Customer: “Look, do you do cash-back?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, can I have £30?”

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