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    Touch Of A Racist

    | Northglenn, CO, USA | Top

    Customer: “Where’s that toaster made? China?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, it’s made in China. Why do ask?”

    Customer: “I knew it! You should be ashamed of yourself, selling dirty merchandise!”

    Me: “Dirty? It’s never been used.”

    Customer: “The orientals touched it. It’s dirty.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m Chinese. I shook your hand when you walked in the door.”

    Customer: “S***!”

    These Aren’t The Games You’re Looking For

    | Pine City, MN, USA |

    (This takes place in the video games aisle. I ask a confused looking female customer if she needs help.)

    Customer: “Is this Star Wars?” *points to Thor for Wii*

    Me: “No, that’s Thor.”

    Customer: “Oh, how about this?” *points to Tron for 360*

    Me: “No, that’s Tron.”

    Customer: “Oh, what’s that about?”

    Me: “It’s based on the movie Tron, from Disney.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t think so. What’s that?” *points to Portal 2 for 360*

    Me: “That’s Portal 2.”

    Customer: “Looks like Star Wars!”

    The High Truth

    | Davenport, IA, USA |

    (I’m busy cleaning the TV displays in the electronics section when a middle-aged customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hey, can you tell me where the bottle brushes are?”

    Me: “Sure, they’re over in the infants section.”

    (I give him instructions on how to get there and even point it out as I’m the only one in my department and cannot leave my post.)

    Customer: “I don’t have kids. Just so you know, it’s not for that.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Customer: “I just need the brush to clean out my bong.”

    The Color Is Titillating Pink

    | Auburn Hills, MI, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I work at a novelty store. We sell, among other things, adult “love toys”, one of which is made to look like a tube of lipstick to provide some discretion. A woman in her mid 30s sets one on the counter.)

    Customer: “Do you know what color this is?”

    Me: “It’s hot pink, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Even when you put it on?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t really a lipstick.”

    Customer: *confused* “Then, what is it?”

    Me: “It’s a vibrator, miss.”

    Customer: “Oh! Oh my…I don’t think I want this anymore.”

    All You Need Is Love

    | Canada | Pets & Animals

    (A customer is looking for a heat lamp for her lizards’ terrarium.)

    Me: “Yes, we have them, both in red and clear.”

    Customer: “Perfect, I love you!”

    Me: “Oh, uh, thanks?”

    (Later, she comes back to get the replacement bulb.)

    Customer: “Sorry about saying ‘I love you’ earlier.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it, always nice to feel loved.” *hands her bulb and walk her to register*

    Customer: “Great, now my geckos will love you too!”

    Me: “Yay!”

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