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    The Fragility Of My Temper

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout

    (The place I work at sells everything for your home. Note, the store is a warehouse and has cement floors. A customer walks up to shelf check out, begins to check out, and drops one of two glass vases. The vase, of course, shatters into pieces.)

    Customer: *walks up to me with the unbroken vase* “I don’t want this vase anymore. I didn’t realize how fragile they were.”

    Me: “You didn’t realize how fragile these glass vases were?”

    Customer: “Yes, and I don’t want to purchase an item that can break this easily.”

    (The customer begins to walk back to her check out. Halfway, she turns around again to address me.)

    Customer: “Oh, and by the way, can you clean up this mess?”

    I Only Speak Sale

    | Redding, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”

    Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”

    Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    Mirror, Mirror On The Wall And Not For Sale

    , | St. Paul, MN, USA |

    (I work in a second hand clothing store. The store has racks of clothes and a couple full length mirrors. A man walks in.)

    Customer: “Where are your mirrors for sale?”

    Me: “Um, we don’t sell mirrors.”

    Customer: “What do you sell?”

    Me: “Clothing. We’re a clothing store.”

    Customer: “What kind of a place is this?!” *storms out*

    Lost In No Translation, Part 3

    | Lake Grove, NY, USA |

    Caller: “Hello. Do you have an Italian to American dictionary?”

    (Note that the caller doesn’t seem to have trouble speaking English, and has a New York accent.)

    Me: “We have Italian to English dictionaries.”

    Customer: “No, no. I need Italian to American because English is a different language, right?”

    Me: “The English language is what we speak in America.”

    Customer: *frustrated* “Can I speak to someone who might know better?!”

    Related:
    Lost In No Translation

    Jealousy Is A (Rude) Green-Eyed Monster

    | Owen Sound, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

    (I am helping a customer in line when the phone starts ringing.)

    Customer: “Here, I’ll fix that.” *picks up phone and hangs up*

    Me: “Sir, you can’t do that. The people calling are customers, too.”

    Customer: “I don’t want anyone to come between us.”

    (The phone starts ringing again.)

    Customer: “You need to help me first!”

    Me: “Sir, I promise not to answer the phone until we’re finished.”

    Customer: “I can’t take that chance!” *hangs up the phone again*

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