The Gift Card That Keeps Giving

| Greeley, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am working the register over Christmas.)

Me: “Find everything today?”

Customer: “Yup.”

(Note: she is silent through the transaction, which includes a gift card.)

Me: “How much would you like on this?”

Customer: “Oh, sorry. Can I have $150?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: *after paying* “Can you do me a favor?” *she hands me the gift card* “The next customer you see that you think could use this, could you give it to them?”

Me: *stunned* “…Of course!”

(After a minute another customer comes up, a visibly upset young woman.)

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer #2: “I’m okay, thanks.”

(Clearly she is not ok, but she is trying very hard to be pleasant. She is getting very basic items: milk, bread, eggs, etc. Nothing very festive.)

Me: “So your total comes out to $0.00.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “The person before you gave me a $150 gift card to use for the next person I thought could use it. You look like you’re having a rough day, so here are your groceries, and there’s about $130 left on this card.”

(The customer just started crying. Once she could, she thanked me about 100 times. Made my whole Christmas season.)

Got The Fraud On The Phoney

| CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

(I work at a call center for an online store. My job includes fraud prevention. If a caller dials in to place an order that seems out of place, I let my manager know. This is one of those times.)

Me: “So, I’ve got a customer on the line here that uh… placed an order for a really expensive product. Expedited shipping. They want a tracking number for it. I’m not liking this.”

Manager: “Do the billing and shipping match?”

Me: “Nope. Completely different states, too.”

Manager: “Hmm… did they order anything before?”

Me: “Oh, yeah! They placed [order].”

(After a few minutes of silent research…)

Manager: *smiling* “Transfer them to me.”

Me: “Okay?”

(He puts it on speaker.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. This is [Manager], manager in charge. How can I help you?”

Fraudster: “Yeah, I’m pretty mad at you guys right now. Been waitin’ for twenty godd*** minutes for a single trackin’ number! The last associate that talked to me is an incompetent b****!”

Manager: “Oh, well, I’m sorry to hear about that, sir. You mentioned that you were looking for a tracking number, is that right?”

Fraudster: “Yeah! And while you’re at it just fire the last b**** I spoke to! She’s f***ing useless as h***!”

Manager: “It’s going to be a few moments while I pull up the number. But how’re you doing?”

Fraudster: “Well… now I’m doing good. You know what you’re doing, unlike that—”

Manager: “That’s good to hear. Glad you’re not feeling guilty or anything.”

Fraudster: “For… what?”

Manager: “For the fraud orders you’ve been placing on our website.”

Fraudster: “Uh…”

Manager: “I’ll be honest with you: I know what you’re doing. I’ve known for a couple of weeks now. So, tell me, how many cards have you stolen?”

Fraudster: *scared* “Ju-just two—”

Manager: “Hmm, okay. Well, I work pretty close with [other state’s police department]. So, I’m gonna give you two choices. You can either turn yourself in like the good guy I’m sure you are. Or you can just sit there while I have them down there in a few hours, embarrassing you and your family.”

Fraudster: “O-oh, God. L-look, I—”

Manager: “I’ve got them on speed dial.”

Fraudster: “I’ll turn myself in!”

Manager: *extremely cheerful* “Oh, good. Now, what time should they expect you so I can let them know?”

Fraudster: “T-ten o’clock in the mornin’.”

Manager: “They’ll be waiting. Have yourself a good day, sir.”

(And yes, he did turn himself in!)

The Man With The Dubbing Taboo

| Ireland | Language & Words, Movies & TV

(A customer comes up holding up a copy of the Swedish version of ‘The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’.)

Customer: “Is this in Swedish?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, however it comes provided with English subtitles or with English dubbing. The DVD will give you the option before the movie starts.”

Customer: “Hmmm, shame… I don’t speak Swedish.”

Me: “Well, ‘dubbing’ means you can listen to it entirely in the English language. You just have to select the English dubbed option at the start of the movie and you won’t have to listen to it in Swedish at all!”

Customer: “But the main actors are Swedish, yes?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And the entire cast is Swedish, yes?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Hmmm…” *appears to think about this for a minute* “No, I think I’ll leave it. I don’t speak any Swedish at all. Thanks for your help!”

Bigotry & Hate Vs. The Pearly Gates

| Rapid City, SD, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s around Christmas and I’m a customer at a nationwide discount store. I notice a customer pointing at an African American angel display.)

Racist Customer: “Black angels? Who the f*** heard of black angels?? There ain’t no black angels in heaven!”

(This garners some outraged glares, especially from an African American family browsing nearby. However, before the employees can step in, this occurs…)

Family’s 8-year-old Daughter: “That’s because I’m not there yet!”

Racist Customer: *quickly leaves the story, embarrassed*

The Dividing Line

| Albany, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer in line at a major lingerie store in a mall at midnight on Black Friday. As expected, the line is well over 10 times longer than normal due to a free gift bag they offer if you spend $65 or more. Two customers come up to me.)

Customer #1: “Is this where the line starts?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The two customers line up behind me and instantly start to rant.)

Customer #2: “Oh my God! This line is too long!”

Customer #1: “They should have every register open!”

Customer #2: “They do have every register open. They need to have this store on two floors!”

Customer #1: ” Yeah! They should have two floors!”

Customer #2: “I mean, look at all of these people in here! How can they have this may people in here and not see that they need two floors!”

(Normally any other day of the year, this store is plenty big enough for its typical haul of customers.)

Customer #1: “If they run out of gift bags by the time it’s my turn, I’m going to scream and call their corporate offices! It’s ridiculous how many people are in here!”

Customer #2: “All of these people are gonna make me late for work!”

Customer #1: “What time do you have to be in again?”

Customer #2: “In a half hour!”

(Based on where we are in line, and how fast the line is moving, also the amount of people cutting in line, it could take at least another hour and a half to reach the registers that we can’t even see.)

Customer #1: “They shouldn’t have slow cashiers working either! The rest of us have things to do!”

Customer #2: “I know what you mean! I can’t stand when they hire slow people!”

Customer #1: “When I get up there, I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind! They need to have 2 floors!”

(I wanted nothing more to tell these two women that it was Black Friday. It was going to be busy no matter what store you went to. However, I decide that with their tensions high, it would be in my best interest not to provoke these ladies by telling them off.)

Customer #2: “Ugh! I can’t stand this anymore! I’m going to be late! This line hasn’t moved! I have to leave!”

Customer #1: “I wish you weren’t out of sick days! I’m not staying here alone with all of these people! I have things to do!”

(Thankfully they left at that point. Hallelujah!)

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