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    All Karma’d Out

    | Australia | Holidays

    Customer: “Do you have any boxed Christmas cards?”

    Me: “Yes, we have two shelves over there. Have you seen those?”

    Customer: “Yes, but do you have any that don’t donate to charity?”

    Me: “I don’t think so.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll go shopping somewhere else!”

    Crushes Ice, Fruits, And Souls

    | Apopka, FL, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work in a retail home store. A mother walks past with her young child. The child is trying to get the mother’s attention by pointing out neat appliances.)

    Girl: “Mommy! Look at this blender thingy! It’s so cool! Look at what it does!”

    Me: “Sorry, dear. The picture on the box is just showing different things it can make using the same machine. It can’t actually mix both cookie dough and slurpees in the same canister.”

    (The child contemplates this for a moment as the mother walks by obliviously. She gets a look on her face as though I have completely crushed her only existence for living. She slinks away after her family, jaded from her new knowledge, to another part of the store and I don’t see them again for the rest of the evening.)

    Furry Elise

    | Sydney, Australia |

    (Note: I work at a music and DVD store, and as titles often share words, it’s important to be clear with customers.)

    Customer: “Do you have a Beethoven box-set?”

    Me: “As in the dog? Or–”

    Customer: *like at me like I’m an idiot* “Um, is there any other?!”

    Minute Power Corrupts Minutely

    | USA |

    (I am working at the returns counter. A normal-looking soccer mom-type is trying to exchange a shirt with no receipt that we do not carry any longer. Because of this, I can neither exchange nor return it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but without your receipt there’s really nothing I can do. We don’t carry that shirt anymore, and it’s not even in our system.”

    Customer: “You must love it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “The power to tell people no! You must LOVE it!” *storms off*

    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name, Part 2

    | Canton, MI, USA |

    Me: “Photo and Media department, this is Kat. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Oh, yes…Hi, Jennifer. I was wondering if you had a certain item in stock…”

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    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name

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