Always Right, Even When Completely Car-razy

| Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Holidays, Top, Wild & Unruly

(It’s Christmas time, and the parking lot has completely filled at the mall where I work. A shuttle is actually taking customers from a stadium across the highway where they are letting us overflow traffic. We’re busy at work when we hear a loud crash outside. An SUV has jumped the curb, onto the sidewalk and slammed into a willow reindeer in front of our window. We all rush out, to see if anyone was hurt, in time to see a woman getting out of the driver’s seat.)

Manager: “Are you alright?!”

Woman: “The only thing not alright here is your godd*** parking lot. There’s no f***ing parking anywhere!”

(Cursing up a storm, she yanks two kids out of the backseat and starts walking away.)

Manager: “Hey, you can’t leave your car here!”

Woman: “The h*** I can’t! There’s no other godd*** place to park!”

(Right after she leaves, security arrives. Our store’s door is partially blocked for an hour while they tow the car, and we fill out paperwork with her description and the police are called to assess the damages. Just before close, the woman and her kids, all laden with shopping bags, come storming into our store. She notices her car is missing and begins screaming and yelling. I run to telephone security.)

Manager: “Mall security towed your car because—”

Woman: “The h*** they did! You took the car!”

Manager:I took it?”

Woman: “You and your little girlies over there must have pushed it somewhere! Where is it?!”

(She barges past the manager, through the store, and into the backroom. A moment later, we hear screams and something smash. I get off the phone with security and rush back to find she has smashed our employee coffee pot and is knocking over boxes. Seeing me, she shoves back onto the selling floor, and starts knocking over fixtures and mannequins. The manager has rushed all other customers to the fitting rooms for their safety. Grabbing her kids, the woman heads for the door and is literally tackled by mall security. She not only ends up arrested for property damage and assault charges, but they find shoplifted items in her bags. The clincher? She wrote in to corporate later, complaining about our customer service and demanding a free gift card!)

O, Canaduh, Part 2

| Niagara Falls, NY, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

(This story takes place at a mall about five minutes from the USA/Canada border. Today, I am working at the register. A Canadian customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Ugh! I hate this country!”

Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. May I ask why?”

Customer: “It’s so hard to tell the value of your money. You should color code it like we do in Canada!”

Me: “Well, if you look on all four corners on either side of the bill, the numbers you see denote the dollar value of the bill. You can also look at the bottom of either side of the bill, or to the right side of the face on the bill.”

Customer: “Ugh, why do you Americans have to make everything so difficult?!”

Related:
O, Canaduh

Raceless Accusations, Part 2

| Texas, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(On a very slow night, I’m helping our only customer with a coworker. I notice another customer enter the store, glance around, and disappear into the aisles. Once the other customer leaves, she approaches us carrying some items.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you didn’t help me when I came in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we were helping the gentleman who just left.”

Customer: “Well, I just would like you to quit being racist and check me out.”

(My coworker and I are taken aback at the accusation, but I remain courteous.)

Me: “Um, sure.”

(At that moment, the customer sees a different coworker at a register.)

Customer: “Nevermind, I’ll just ask her.”

(The customer returns moments later, as it turns out my coworker’s register is closed. I hadn’t known the other one was closed, or else I would have warned her.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re all so racist here that you can’t even help me. I’ll call the NAACP on you, and they’ll crack down on this store!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. Would you like me to call the manager on duty to address your concern?”

Customer: “Yes, please do.”

(I radio in our manager on duty, who comes quickly to the register. He is one of two black men with management positions in the store, and we only have four managers.)

Me: “This is our manager for tonight. [Manager on duty], this woman has a concern she would like to address.”

Manager: *smiling* “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: *deflates instantly and leaves in a huff*

Related:
Raceless Accusations

Pint-Sized Profanity Patrol

| Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(Two younger teens are hanging out near the specialty store where I work.)

Young Teen #1: “Aw man, these pants are f***ing sweet!”

Young Teen #2: “S***, I know! I love this f***ing store!”

(The swearing and vulgar language keeps up for a while as families enter the store. A lady walks in with her young boy who can’t be older than three or four. He stands near the young teens and listens to their foul language for a while. Suddenly, he marches up to them with his hands in his little pockets, unimpressed.)

Little Boy: “HEY! I’m here! I can hear you! Don’t talk like that!”

Young Teens: *look dumbfounded and leave the store*

From Penny Foolish To Pound Wise

| UK | Money

(I work in a well-known UK pound store. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter walk up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. How much is this?” *holds up item*

Me: “It’s £1; everything here is £1.”

(I smile kindly, nodding towards the 20-foot sign hanging on the wall for all to see.)

Customer: “Oh, wonderful! Thank you very much!”

Me: “No problem!”

(No less than 5 seconds later, she calls to me again.)

Customer: “Oh, excuse me! How much is this?”

Me: “It’s £1. Everything is £1.”

(The customer’s daughter covers her face.)

Customer: “Are you sure dear? Maybe you should check…”

Me: “I don’t need to madam; I know it’s £1. Everything here is.”

(Not believing me, the customer huffs, asks another member of staff, and gets the same answer.)

Customer: “Well, that seems cheap.”

Customer’s Daughter: “For god’s sake, mum, that’s the point! It’s a POUND SHOP! EVERYTHING IS £1!”

Customer: “Well, they should put up a sign and make it more clear!”

(Simultaneously, her daughter, my colleague, and I all point at the giant sign.)

Customer: “That’s not clear! You should make it CLEAR!”

(The customer turns and stomps off.)

Customer’s Daughter: “I’m not taking her anywhere again.”

(Two weeks later, the same customer returns. This time, another customer is asking me a similar question about pricing.)

Another Customer: *to me* “How much is this?”

Customer: *jumps in* “It’s £1! Everything is £1!” *huffs* “Some people are SO stupid!”

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