Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,961 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Eau de Toilet

    , | Eau Claire, WI, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am ringing up a customer. While she is waiting for me to finish, I suggest that she tries our fragrances.)

    Customer: *sprays fragrance* “This stuff smells like a toilet.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer’s friend: *laughs hysterically*

    Customer: “It’s not a bad thing, though. It smells like a clean toilet.”

    I’m Tire’d Of These Calls

    | St. John's, NL, Canada |

    Me: “Sports department, [name] speaking.”

    Caller: “Can you transfer me to the jewelry department?”

    Me: “Uh, we don’t have a jewelry department.”

    Caller: “Yes, you do. Just put me through.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure we don’t, ma’am. Let me ask.”

    (I’m fairly new, so I go to customer service and ask.)

    Me: “Yeah, sorry, ma’am. We definitely do not have a jewelry department.”

    Caller: “WHAT?! Wal-Mart doesn’t have a jewelry department anymore?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t Wal-Mart. This is Canadian Tire.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

    | Odessa, TX, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have that new Twilight movie Breaking Dawn?”

    (Note: as the customer asks this question, I am stocking a life-sized display case of Edward and Bella and have an armful of Breaking Dawn DVDs. The store is also filled with piles of Breaking Dawn pre-orders, Breaking Dawn promo merchandise, and several Breaking Dawn dozen posters advertising the movie’s DVD release. The customer looks right down at the Breaking Dawn DVD in my hand and, before I can answer him, he continues.)

    Customer: *sighs* “Oh, well. Guess not.” *turns around and leaves without another word*

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    If Hugs Could Kill

    | Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hey, how you doing?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My favorite aunt is dying and I have to go to the hospital.”

    Me: “That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “Thanks. I’m gonna go there and hug her and kiss her to death.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “You know what I mean.”

    Aging Is A Zero Sum Game

    | Quebec City, Quebec, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (Our store has an aisle with toys as well as celebration stuff for birthdays, including candles for birthday cakes. I am filling up this aisle when a lady in her late 50′s comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you carry candles that are numbers?”

    Me: “Yes, let me show you.”

    (I show her the candles we have, from 0 to 9.)

    Customer: “Oh, they don’t carry 55. My husband is going to be 55.”

    (I think she’s joking, and laugh a little.)

    Me: “Well, you can just buy two 5′s, and that’ll make 55.”

    Customer: *disgusted* “I don’t know why they hired you!” *leaves without buying anything*

    Page 182/418First...180181182183184...Last