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    Going From Positive To Negative

    , | Singapore | Top

    (This happens after I help an old lady with a home theater system for over an hour and a half, explaining every little detail and giving her a demo.)

    Customer: “Thank you very much, young lady. I’m sorry for taking too much of your time.”

    Me: “You’re welcome. No worries. It’s my pleasure to help you.”

    Customer: “I know some of my questions are stupid, but you are very patient.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all. Some of these things can be very confusing, even for myself, and I work here!”

    Customer: “I should give a compliment letter about you.”

    Me: “Wow, thanks very much. You can do that at the cashier. Oh, by the way–the remote control doesn’t have any batteries. Should we go get them now? It will save you a trip.”

    Customer: “That’s a great idea!”

    (We proceed to go to the battery section of the store.)

    Me: “So, here we are, you need two AAs.”

    Customer: “Do you have the [brand] ones?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I think we just ran out. We have other brands though. Would you like to try?”

    Customer: “You and your f***ing store! I’ve never received such terrible service! This is the reason why people don’t go back here! I will have you fired! You will never work again!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Free Karma With Purchase

    | Hamlin, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (I have just clocked out. I am in the employee break room gathering my things to leave, when a customer comes barging in.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! There is a line of fifty people out here! We need you to open your register!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m clocked out and don’t have a drawer in. I’m sorry, but she’s doing the best she can right now.”

    Customer: “Well that’s just ridiculous! I need to get checked out!”

    (The customer leaves the employee break room to go back in line and rant to her companion.)

    Customer: “Can you believe it? She’s clocked out! This is ridiculous!”

    (Upon seeing that there is in fact a longer line, I grab a drawer and open a register while still clocked out. After I check out five or so people, the woman comes back over, bags in hand.)

    Customer: “Well, THANK YOU.”

    (Another customer, who had been standing behind her the whole time, approaches me with a smile.)

    Another customer: “I’m currently disabled and don’t have my crutches, so standing is excruciating, but I’m going to take my time. I’m blocking that b**** in, and I want to make her wait!”

    I’m A Renaissance Woman

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (The computers at checkout have lately been asking for the full birthdate of everyone purchasing cigarettes. While technically, we card everyone, a lot of our older customers complained at first, so we are allowed to simply request their birthdate rather than ask to see their ID.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like [cigarettes], please.”

    Me: “Alright. I’ll need your date of birth, please.”

    Customer: “What? Make something up.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the computer needs a birth date in order to sell this product.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re not getting it. Make something up!”

    Me: “Um.”

    (I put in January 1st, but leave the year free.)

    Me: “Okay, I put in January 1st, but I’m going to need the year, at least.”

    Customer: “Fine…1600.”

    Me: “Something reasonable, ma’am.”

    2, 4, 6, 8, Time To Get Your Numbers Straight

    | Bethesda, MD, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have this in a size 9?”

    Me: “Sorry, no. We only carry even sizes. I can show you a size 8 or 10.”

    Customer: “You don’t have a size 9?”

    Me: “No, we only have even-numbered sizes.”

    Customer: “Do you have a 9 in the back?”

    Me: “No. There is no size 9.”

    Customer: “So, can you order it for me?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. We only have even numbers.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Er, that means 0, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, and 14.”

    Customer: “So, do you know when you’ll be getting a size 9?”

    She Puts The Bra In Bravado

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I work in a lingerie store. I am standing at the front greeting customers when a woman in a full business suit walks in.)

    Me: “Welcome, how can I help you today?”

    (She unbuttons her shirt to the waist in order to reveal a ratty bra that is at least five years old.)

    Woman: “Yeah, where can I find this bra?”

    Me: “Um, I don’t think we carry that style anymore, but I can send you back to the fitting room where they can help you find a nice alternative.”

    Woman: *still with her shirt unbuttoned* “Sure, sounds great.”

    Me: “Okay, can I get your name and size?”

    Woman: “Oh, I can’t remember my size. Just check the back of my bra for me, would you?

    (She then begins to take off the rest of her shirt in the front of the store.)

    Me: “Let’s just send you back to the fitting room right now…”


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