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    Faceless Enemy, Faceless Victim

    | Georgia, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am working the register in the garden center when a man with no arms come through with an item held under his chin. He leans over, drops it on my counter and says that he’ll be right back. He comes back with several more items under his chin, and states that he is ready to check out.)

    Me: “So, how is your day going?”

    Customer: “It’s going fine, thanks!”

    (The transaction goes smoothly until it’s time for him to pay.)

    Customer: “I have no arms, so you’ll have to get the money out of my pocket.”

    (I blink, but it sounds reasonable, so I walk around the counter to get the money. As I reach into his front pocket, he notices
    something.)

    Customer: “Oops, my fly is open. But, don’t worry. Nothing will jump out at you!”

    Pros And Con(artists)

    | Reno, NV, USA |

    (Note: California has just enacted a new law stating that it is illegal for retailers to ask consumers for their zip code.)

    Me: “And could I get your zip code, please?”

    Customer: “You can’t ask me that! It’s illegal!”

    Me: “Only in the state of California. This is Nevada.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not giving it to you because it’s an invasion of my privacy.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I’m finishing her transaction, and she sees the signup form to receive emails about sales and coupons.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “This is a form to receive emails about coupons, sales, and special offers.”

    Customer: “Oh! Okay, I’d like to sign up!”

    (She starts filling out the form.)

    Me: “I just need to ask you for your zip code.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    Beauty Is Only Emotion Deep

    | Westminster, MD, USA |

    (It’s my first day at work and I’m bagging for a coworker. An elderly man comes up to the register and blatantly stares at me.)

    Customer: “You’re beautiful.”

    Me: “Well, thank you!”

    Customer: “But you have a mean look on your face.”

    (I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve been doing nothing but smiling the entire time.)

    Me: “I’m, sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s okay. You have a beautiful face and a beautiful soul…and a beautiful aura. A very, very beautiful aura.”

    Me: “Er, thank you?”

    Customer: “But you just look so mean! Why can’t you look happy, beautiful?”

    (This goes on for another few minutes before my coworker steps in to save me. I can’t wait to work tomorrow.)

    Attack Of The Heart(less)

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Health & Body, Top

    (A customer has just had a heart attack, and our staff is giving her CPR. Another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but could you move? I need the ink behind you guys.”

    Me: “Sir, this lady is suffering a medical illness. I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but you will have to wait.”

    Customer: “How dare you treat your customers like this?! I’ll never shop here again!”

    Manager: *fed up* “[Competitor] is across the parking lot. Have a nice day.”

    I’m Having My iPeriod

    , | New Zealand |

    Customer: “Hi there, darling. Uh, I was wondering, do you have any pads?”

    Me: “Do you mean iPads?”

    Customer: “Yeah pads, iPads, whatever. Can you show me where they are?”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. Are you interested in the iPad or the iPad 2?”

    Customer: “Wait…so, like, you use the iPad at day and the iPad 2 at night?”


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