November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Needs To Press Paws

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am cashier at a pet store. I see a man walk into the store, pick up a large and expensive coffee table book on show dogs, and get in my line. My manager has warned me, and shown me a picture of this man. He tries to convince cashiers to give him a refund for items he has just stolen. I immediately page my manager, who, unbeknownst to me, is tied up with a minor medical emergency in the back of the store.)

Thief: “I want to return this item.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Thief: “No.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Without a receipt, I cannot give you a refund.”

Thief: “Give me a refund.”

Me: “Sir, I watched you pick that book up when you came in. I know you did not buy it.”

Thief: “Give me the f****** money, or I’ll kick your a**.”

(Most of the customers in my line start backing away.)

Me: “Sir, I cannot give you any money, and if you leave with that item I will call the police. Please leave the store.”

Thief: “You little a**-hole!”

(The thief grabs the front of my shirt, and rears his arm back to punch me. I throw my arms up to shield my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of movement. The next thing I see is a spatter of blood on my counter, and the man out cold on the floor with a bloody nose. My manager, with a paramedic from the earlier emergency, walks up.)

Manager: “What the heck just happened?”

(As I tell my story, an assistant manager calls the police, opens another line, and checks out the waiting customers. The paramedic starts checking on the man, who has a clearly broken nose. The man slowly regains consciousness, and points to me.)

Thief: “She assaulted me! I’m going to sue!”

(I talk to the police.)

Me: “He grabbed me, but I never hit him. I don’t know how he got hurt!”

(The man, a known criminal, is handcuffed and put in the police car. The officers and my manager go to review the security cameras. About ten minutes later, I get called to come back to the office.)

Manager: “You have got to watch this!”

(The camera footage clearly shows the man getting the book, getting in line, arguing with me, and then grabbing my shirt. At that moment, the customer in line after him, a tiny, middle-aged Asian woman, leaps up, grabs the hair on the back of his head, slams his face into my counter, and then calmly steps back to where she had been standing. She did it so quickly, that we have to run the footage back on slow to see exactly what she had done. After the thief is out cold, she walks over to the new line that the assistant manager opened, buys her bag of cat food with cash, and leaves without a word. Apparently, the other customers either didn’t see what she did, or decided to keep their mouths shut. We have no idea who she is, and we never see her again. The thief was charged with assault on me, and arrested. Wherever you are lady, thanks! You’re my personal super hero!)

Bigotry Does Not Check Out

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(A male customer cuts in line at the check-out during Black Friday.)

Customer: “B****! Get off your lazy a** and bag my items!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me! Or didn’t you? All you woman are as useless as—”

Next Customer: “Pardon my interruption, but you do realize you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you mother… A WOMAN? You call that useless?”

(The customer leaves quickly, without eye contact.)

Stink-Eye For The Stinky Guy

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

(I’m standing in line at a large retail store. There are about three people in front of me. There are the only two registers open in the entire store, but because of the amount of people, it’s all converged into one long line. A customer walks forward, and lets out a large ‘HUMPH’ when she sees the length of the line. She then starts to walk in front of everyone in line to the front-most register. She’s blocked at the point of entry into the checkout line by a teenage boy reading a magazine off the display rack.)

Customer: “Are you standing in both lines?”

(The question startles the boy. It looks as though he is about to move forward to get out of her way, until he sees at the disgusted look on her face. He changes his mind and smirks.)

Teenager: “Yup!”

Customer: “Humph! You’re standing in both lines?”

(The teenage boy then gets a rather painful look on his face, and rips out a loud fart. He just smiles at the customer. Everyone in line starts to laugh. Both cashiers have actually stopped scanning items in amazement.)

Customer: “Humph!”

(The woman leaves her entire cart—which must have taken over an hour to fill—at the checkout and walks out. She gives the stink-eye to the boy, who is still smiling.)

Solved The Problem In A Snap

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Top

(I work in a cosmetics store. My area is extremely busy, with everybody wanting my help at the same time. A rather large family come in, wanting to look at lipsticks. I show them the area, and excuse myself to help Customer #1, who has been waiting patiently.)

Me: “Okay, so this one reduces wrinkles, this one has Vitamin E, and this one has B.”

Customer #1: “Oh, okay, I used this one at home. I want a change, so which would you suggest?”

Me: “Well yo—”

(Just then, Customer #2, a man in the large family, snaps his fingers at me, interrupting me.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Give me one second, and I’ll be right with you, sir.”

(Customer# 2 than snaps his fingers at me AGAIN. Customer# 1 looks visibly annoyed, and her face goes white.)

Me: “Sir, that is extremely rude. Please do not snap your fingers at me; I will be right with you as soon as I am finished.”

(Customer# 2 goes to open his mouth, when Customer# 1 snaps.)

Customer #1: “Don’t you even start with her! How dare you treat her like that! Can’t you see she’s working as hard as she can, with a big smile on her face? She’s so sweet, and she’s been nothing but nice to everybody, and trying to help everybody at once! So shut your mouth and wait!”

(Customer#2 is aghast; his jaw is hanging open. He grabs his family, and leaves with his tail tucked between his legs. I give Customer #1 a hug. She made my day!)

Start Thinking To A Different Tune

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m showing a customer our selection of mp3 players. He is looking for two things: small and cheap. I show him an mp3 player that costs only $9.99 and is about two inches long.)

Customer: “I don’t know about this one; it might not be right for me.”

Me: “Is it because it’s only two gigabytes? I know that kind of capacity is a little on the smaller side, but it can still hold more than enough songs to get you through the day.”

Customer: “No, it’s not that. It’s just that there is no screen. I can’t see if a song that I don’t like is going to come up or not.”

Me: “Well, if this mp3 player is for your own personal use, then chances are you’re only going to put on songs that you like, right? So, I don’t think the lack of a screen will be a big deal.”

Customer: “Wow… that is very true, actually. You just totally blew my mind, dude. Whoa, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!”