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    And The Picture Becomes Clear

    , | Paris, France | Technology

    (The customer arrives very angry at my desk. He nervously holds a memory card in his hand.)

    Customer: “I want a new memory card. This one is really bad!”

    Me: “What troubles do you have with this one?”

    Customer: “It only makes blurry pictures!”

    Me: “Well, I guess the problem might be the camera, not the memory card.”

    Customer: “Oh, and do you have memory cards in black & white?”

    Me: “Or it could be the photographer…”

    Stop And Stair, Part 4

    | New York, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer comes up to me. They ask for directions, which I begin to provide.)

    Me: “Take the elevators at the south end. There should be signs along the way. You’ll pass [store name] and [store name].”

    Customer: “Take what?”

    Me: “Elevator…they’re also known as lifts.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Um, how do you normally get to higher floors?”

    Customer: “I walk up the stairs or stand on moving stairs.”

    Me: “Do you ever go inside a box and press numbers?”

    Customer: “What is that?” *looks bewildered*

    Me: “Maybe I should take you to the elevators.”

    Customer: “Okay?”

    (I take her to the elevators. They are glass.)

    Customer: “So, I get inside and press the floor number?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (At this moment, another elevator goes down at a normal speed with people inside.)

    Customer: *frightened* “No! This is a drop tower! I want the stairs.”

    Me: “Um, it’s not fast. It’s safe.”

    Customer: “No! Stairs please!”

    Related:
    Stop And Stair, Part 3
    Stop And Stair, Part 2
    Stop And Stair

    A Dogged Sense Of Humor

    | Cochrane, Alberta, Canada | At The Checkout

    (A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

    Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs huh?”

    Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

    Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

    You Few Who Queue To Argue

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout

    (This occurs at the busiest time of year for our company. We have every checkout possible open and there are often lines of at least 15 people during most of the day. I am serving at my checkout when I hear a customer grumbling from the line. He comes to my checkout.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir, thanks for waiting. Is this everything you wanted today?”

    Customer: “NO! I am NOT buying these products! I waited in line for twenty minutes and that is far too long for anyone to wait to buy anything!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this is our busiest time of year and as you can see, all of our staff are currently serving–”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not buying anything! You can put this all back yourself. I didn’t wait in line for this kind of treatment.”

    Me: “Um, so you waited in line to tell me that you aren’t going to wait in line and buy these products?”

    Customer: “Yes!” *storms off*

    Trick And/Or Treat

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Family & Kids

    (It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

    Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

    Son: “Why not?!”

    Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”

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