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    Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight

    | Anamosa, IA, USA |

    (I don’t work here. I am wearing work boots, jeans, and a muscle shirt, not anything close to the employee dress code. An elderly woman wearing glasses approaches me looking confused.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Can you help me find epoxy?”

    (Having just been in that section, I decide to just show her where it is.)

    Me: “Uh, sure. Follow me.”

    (I take her back to the hardware department and explain to her the different kinds and recommend one for her.)

    Customer: “Thank you so much.”

    Me: “You’re welcome, Have a nice day.”

    Customer: *adjusts glasses* “Oh my, you don’t work here, do you?”

    Me: “No, I do not.”

    Customer: “Well, thank you again sir.” *walks off*

    (My buddy comes by at this time and asks what I was doing.)

    Me: “Helping an old lady. I hope she’s not driving.”

    Scented For An Electrifying Experience

    | Illinois, USA | Bizarre

    Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Me: “Yes, can I help you with something?

    Customer: “I need to speak with your supervisor.”

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your restrooms smell like electricity!”

    Me: “I’ll…get a manager.”

    Honesty In A Modern Age

    | Lakewood, CO, USA | Technology

    Me: “Hey, you look like you’re looking for something in particular. What brings you into [store] today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need to buy a USB port. Where you guys keep them?”

    Me: “So, what is it you’re trying to do? Do you just need a USB hub? Are you trying to get more USB ports on your computer?”

    Customer: “No, I just need a USB port. My friend’s trying to get some pictures off her computer.”

    Me: “Oh, so you need a flash drive?”

    Customer: *laughing* “Yeah, I guess it’s been one of those days. I’m sure you’re going to go and tell all your co-workers about this aren’t you? That’s fine, I was an idiot.”

    Cordless & Clueless

    | Yorkshire, UK | Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cordless phone.”

    Me: “No problem, they’re just over here.”

    Customer: ‘I’m wanting one without batteries and that you plug into the mains, do you have any?”

    Me: “That would defeat the point of a cordless phone wouldn’t it?”

    Customer: “No, I had one last time!”

    Me: “Was it like this?”

    (I show her the corded phones.)

    Customer: “Yes! See, a cordless phone you plug in!”

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6

    Narcoleptic Nancy’s Inconvenient Nap

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (There are a dozen people in line waiting for three fitting rooms.)

    Customer: “Someone’s been inside room #1 for a long time.”

    (I walk over and the other customers confirm. I’m told no one has come out of that particular room for 15 minutes. The door is indeed locked. I knock and there’s no response. I knock harder and still no response.)

    Me: “That’s weird. The door is locked, not stuck. It can only be locked from the inside or with a key. Did you see who went in there?”

    Customer: “Yes, some lady.”

    (I bang on the door this time. Again, no response. I go to get the key and open the door. Inside is a fully dressed lady sitting on the bench sleeping. Store clothes are strewn on the floor. I have to shake her to wake her up.)

    Lady: *slurred* “What?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re sleeping in our fitting room and there’s a line of people waiting. You weren’t responding when we knocked, so I had to come in to check on you.”

    Lady: “Oh! My goodness, I’m so sorry! I’m really tired, and on top of that, I’m a very sound sleeper!”


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