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    Minute Power Corrupts Minutely

    | USA |

    (I am working at the returns counter. A normal-looking soccer mom-type is trying to exchange a shirt with no receipt that we do not carry any longer. Because of this, I can neither exchange nor return it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but without your receipt there’s really nothing I can do. We don’t carry that shirt anymore, and it’s not even in our system.”

    Customer: “You must love it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “The power to tell people no! You must LOVE it!” *storms off*

    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name, Part 2

    | Canton, MI, USA |

    Me: “Photo and Media department, this is Kat. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Oh, yes…Hi, Jennifer. I was wondering if you had a certain item in stock…”

    Related:
    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name

    A Debt Of Debts

    | Wisconsin, USA | Money

    (We have a store credit card which you can pay at any register. I am working in customer service and an older lady approaches.)

    Me: “How may I help you today?”

    Customer: *shoves her bill towards me* “I just want to pay this ALL off! I told my daughter, I don’t want to owe anything! I just HATE to owe!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. Let me just process this payment for you.”

    Customer: *writing a check* “Yes, I just can’t OWE all this money. I don’t like it!”

    Me: “Well, here we go. It’s all taken care of! Now you don’t owe anything.”

    Customer: “I forgot to ask. Can I purchase a gift card here?”

    Me: “Certainly. I can help you with that!” *starts to ring up gift card*

    Customer: “Now, can I put that on my [store] card?”

    Customers Should Watch Their Language, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (I have moderate competency in Mandarin Chinese, but it is not apparent because I’m not Asian.)

    Me: “Hello! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer #1: “No, we’re just looking.”

    Customer #2: “Just looking.”

    Me: “All right, just let me know if you need any help.”

    Customer #1: *in Mandarin* “I told her to go away. She doesn’t listen!”

    Customer #2: *in Mandarin* “She’s a dumb girl. Just ignore her.”

    Me: *in Mandarin* “Hey look, the dumb girl speaks Mandarin.”

    Weeding Out The Crazies

    | Chicago, Illinois, USA |

    (I work in a store that sells lotions, body scrubs, etc. One of our best sellers is our line of hemp products.)

    Customer: “So, what’s this stuff over here?”

    Me: “This is all of our hemp products. A lot of customers who don’t like heavily-scented lotions tend to like this stuff a lot. It’s a fantastic moisturizer.”

    Customer: *quietly* “It’s not real hemp though, is it?”

    Me: “No, it is. All of our products contain natural ingredients.”

    Customer: “Oh, No! I want absolutely NOTHING to do with this stuff!” *walks away*

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