Retail | Glasgow, Scotland, UK |
Customer: “I bought a TV from you last week, and one of my friends told me I need a universal remote control for it.”
Me: “Right. Was it a TV off display?”
Customer: “No, a new one in a box.”
Me: “Did you not get one in the box?”
Customer: “Yes, but the wife has that! If she’s sitting on one couch and I’m on the other couch and I want to change the channel, what is she supposed to do, throw it to me?”
Me: “You could ask her to change the channel for you.”
Customer: *chuckles* “That’s not how marriage works son. I’ll just buy this one.”
Me: “Right, but if you both have a remote then you’ll keep changing the channel on each other and never see a full programme.”
Customer: *chuckles again* “Oh son, one day you’ll learn how the world works.”
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3,586 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Hi, do you sell stuff from the Watchmen movie?”
Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t. Since the movie was rated R, there are no licensed Watchmen products marketed to children.”
Customer: “Well, do you know where I can find Watchmen stuff?”
Me: “Do you have something that you’re looking for in particular?”
Customer: “Well, my son’s school is having a superhero themed day where all the kids are supposed to come to school in costume. My son wanted to go as Dr. Manhattan.”
Me: “Dr. Manhattan? Ma’am, do you know anything about him?”
Customer: “I know that he’s blue. Don’t you have anything at all?”
Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, Dr. Manhattan walks around completely naked. Part of the reason the movie is rated R is because you see…everything…when he’s on screen.”
Customer: “Uh-huh. Do you think [other store] sells Watchmen stuff?”
Me: *giving up* “I’m sure it would be worth a shot…”
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2,340 Thumbs Up!)
(It’s my first day at work, and I’m putting away packages of little girls’ underwear. I don’t know the section, so I walk around for several minutes, holding the packages of underwear, trying to figure out where they go. A customer walks up with two of her kids in tow.)
Customer: “What the h*** are you doing?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “I can’t believe this! You’re disgusting. This is a public place, you pervert!”
Me: “Uh, miss–”
Customer: *jabs me in the chest with a finger* “You’re a filthy pervert! This is appalling! People can see you, you know!*
Me: “Ma’am, I work here.”
(I point to my logo’d shirt and my lanyard with my name tag on it.)
Customer: “Oh. My. God. I am so sorry!” *runs out of the store with her kids*
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4,517 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer comes to the counter with his son with a Grand Theft Auto game.)
Me: “Sir, you are aware this is an 18 rated game?”
Customer: “Yes, I am aware of that.”
Me: “It contains sex.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “Violence.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “Bad Language.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “Drug Usage.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “Full frontal male nudity.”
Customer: “He’s bloody well not having this!”
(The customer hands the game over to me and walks out.)
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3,646 Thumbs Up!)
Retail | Nova Scotia, Canada |
(A very elderly female customer walks up to the register and hands over an empty hanger.)
Me: “Excuse me ma’am, but what exactly was on this empty hanger?”
Customer: “This!” *very elderly customer lifts up shirt to reveal bra*
Me: “Oh…oh God.”
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4,219 Thumbs Up!)
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