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    A Debt Of Debts

    | Wisconsin, USA | Money

    (We have a store credit card which you can pay at any register. I am working in customer service and an older lady approaches.)

    Me: “How may I help you today?”

    Customer: *shoves her bill towards me* “I just want to pay this ALL off! I told my daughter, I don’t want to owe anything! I just HATE to owe!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. Let me just process this payment for you.”

    Customer: *writing a check* “Yes, I just can’t OWE all this money. I don’t like it!”

    Me: “Well, here we go. It’s all taken care of! Now you don’t owe anything.”

    Customer: “I forgot to ask. Can I purchase a gift card here?”

    Me: “Certainly. I can help you with that!” *starts to ring up gift card*

    Customer: “Now, can I put that on my [store] card?”

    Customers Should Watch Their Language, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (I have moderate competency in Mandarin Chinese, but it is not apparent because I’m not Asian.)

    Me: “Hello! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer #1: “No, we’re just looking.”

    Customer #2: “Just looking.”

    Me: “All right, just let me know if you need any help.”

    Customer #1: *in Mandarin* “I told her to go away. She doesn’t listen!”

    Customer #2: *in Mandarin* “She’s a dumb girl. Just ignore her.”

    Me: *in Mandarin* “Hey look, the dumb girl speaks Mandarin.”

    Weeding Out The Crazies

    | Chicago, Illinois, USA |

    (I work in a store that sells lotions, body scrubs, etc. One of our best sellers is our line of hemp products.)

    Customer: “So, what’s this stuff over here?”

    Me: “This is all of our hemp products. A lot of customers who don’t like heavily-scented lotions tend to like this stuff a lot. It’s a fantastic moisturizer.”

    Customer: *quietly* “It’s not real hemp though, is it?”

    Me: “No, it is. All of our products contain natural ingredients.”

    Customer: “Oh, No! I want absolutely NOTHING to do with this stuff!” *walks away*

    Ethnically Ethical

    , | Wichita, KS, USA |

    (An older lady is asking me for help with her shopping list.)

    Customer: “Sir, do you…well, I don’t really know if I can say this out loud, but do you have this video game?”

    (The customer points at her list to the game title, “Ethnic Mickey”, which doesn’t exist. We sell “Epic Mickey”.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am…we have Epic Mickey, if that helps.”

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness. Here I was, worried about the title and if it was appropriate. We spoke over the phone, so I guess I misheard.”

    Never Outshine A Customer

    | Canberra, Australia | Bizarre

    (I am approaching a middle-aged woman who has come into the store.)

    Me: *very cheerfully* “Hey there! How’re you today?”

    Customer: “Fine. And you?”

    Me: “I’m great actually.”

    Customer: *yells* “Stop showing off!”

    Me: *speechless*

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