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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Uninformed About A Badly Formed Uniform

    | AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m female, work in an electronics store and I have a fairly large chest. The uniform the company provides doesn’t really cover everything, so I wear a shirt underneath to cover my cleavage.)

    Customer: “Do you have no modesty?! Cover yourself!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Women with breasts like that shouldn’t be flaunting about. This isn’t a night club!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m fairly certain I have everything covered. If you have a problem with my uniform, may I suggest you bring it up with my manager?”

    (At this point she walks away, mumbling to herself. Anytime I see her, she’s glaring at me. Some time later she approaches me again.)

    Customer: “You think you’re so special, don’t you? Probably take men out to the back and give them a show for tips! I bet that’s just a part of some skanky lingerie under there!” *pointing to my camisole I’m wearing under my top*

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to take your things to the front to pay for them and let me get back to work here.”

    (At this point she lunges at me and attempts to rip my shirt off. She actually snaps off a few of the buttons in the process. A co-worker and my manager drag her off of me and out of the store.)

    Manager: “Well… that was a show!”

    (He gave me the last couple hours of my shift off and some cash to go buy a new shirt. Didn’t have to wear that uniform anymore!)

    To And Fro Is The Way To Go

    | Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (It’s the holiday season, and I’m shopping for DVDs as gifts for my family. I see a movie that I want to get for myself, but decide against it. A few minutes later, I change my mind, but the movie has disappeared. I take the rest of my purchases up to the counter, where I notice the customer in front of me is about to buy the movie I was looking for.)

    Me: “Ah, so that’s where it went.”

    Other customer: “Pardon me?”

    Me: *chuckling* “I was thinking about getting that DVD, but when I went back to the shelf, it was gone. I couldn’t figure out what happened to it.”

    Other customer: “Here you go!” *hands me the DVD*

    Me: “Thanks, but I don’t really need it. You go ahead.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

    Other customer: “If you want it, by all means, please take it.” *she hands me the DVD again*

    Me: “Are you buying this as a gift?”

    Other customer: “Well, yes, but…”

    Me: “Then you should definitely take it. I’ll pick it up some other time.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

    Other customer: “Are you sure? Because I can easily find something else.”

    Me: “I’m positive, but thanks again.”

    (At this point, we realize the cashier is staring at us with wide eyes.)

    Other customer: “Miss? Is everything okay?”

    Cashier: (emotionally) “You two are the only nice customers I’ve dealt with all day!”

    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here

    | Mankato, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working the jewellery counter at a popular department store. As I am opening the case to show an item to a customer, a second customer walks over and pushes the first customer out of her way.)

    Customer #2: “Hey! You! Do you work here?”

    (I look up in surprise to see if she is joking. She’s not.)

    Customer #1: *sarcastically* “No, she just wears a name tag and has keys to all the expensive stuff for the fun of it.”

    Customer #2: “Well, anyway, go find someone who does, then! I need service over here!”

    Me: “Someone will be with you in a moment, ma’am, but this lady was here first.”

    Customer #2: “Not good enough!”

    (Customer #2 storms off in the direction of the watches. Meanwhile Customer #1 stares at her as she stomps away.))

    Customer #1: “Did that really just happen?”

    Me: “I’m afraid so, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Wow. I didn’t think people like that were real.”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6

    Makes You Scarlett With Anger

    | PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

    Customer #1: “My god, you look just like Scarlett O’Hara! Have you ever seen Gone With The Wind?”

    Me: *laughing* “Thanks! I actually haven’t seen it, but I want to eventually!”

    Customer #1: “Those blue eyes, and dark hair! You’re a dead ringer, Scarlett!”

    (Customer #1, who is a very petite, elderly woman, continues to refer to me as ‘Scarlett’ for all of her questions, calling me over to wherever she is in the store to evaluate different gift baskets, etc. She’s pretty awesome, and I am happy to oblige. Then, Customer #2 enters the store. He is a tall, broad shouldered, grumpy middle-aged man. I leave Customer #1 to go back behind the register.)

    Customer#2: “Where the **** are the cheese pretzels?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we are out of those until next year. With expansion—”

    Customer#2: “That’s bulls***! I have been coming here every other week for two months, and everyone keeps telling me different times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I was ju-”

    Customer#2: “I think all of you are full of s***!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 comes flying around the corner and up to my register.)

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2* “Do you even know who you are talking to?! Don’t you dare talk to her like that! You should be ashamed of yourself, you great big lout!”

    (Customer #2 clearly was not expecting Customer #1 to yell at him, and sheepishly retreats out of the store but still grumbling.)

    Me: “Wow, I’m so sorry about this whole thing, ma’am. I have got to ask, weren’t you scared? That guy was huge!”

    Customer #1: “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a d*&%!”

    (I cracked up laughing and gave her my discount for getting rid of my troublesome customer!)

    Has No Idea What’s In Store For Them

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is this a store?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “A store where you can buy things?”

    Me: “Um… yes?”

    Customer: “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes!” *hangs up*

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