Should Have Read The Fine-Prints

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m a manager in retail. I am called to the photo section after a customer decides he doesn’t want some pictures, but then decides he should get them for free after finding out what a waste prints are.)

Me: “So, these are the pictures you want, and these are the ones you don’t want?”

Customer: “No, I want all those. The ones I don’t want are behind you.”

Me: “Oh, so those are the waste prints.”

Customer: “Yes. What do you do with those?”

Me: “We destroy them.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because pictures are private property. I have to assume you don’t want them shared with strangers, so we dispose of them.”

Customer: “Can I have them for free, then?”

Me: “If I sell them to you, sure.”

Customer: “But you’re just going to destroy them.”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So you should just give them to me for free instead of wasting them.”

Me: “I can’t do that. That’s like handing items on the shelf out for free.”

Customer: “But where’s the profit in just tearing them up?”

Me: “Well, where’s the profit in giving them out for free?”

Customer: “So, there’s no profit anyway. So, you should give them to me for free.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Again, that’s like handing merchandise out for free. I can give them to you if I can sell them to you, though.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. Is Kathy here?”

(Note: Kathy is my boss.)

Me: “Nope, not today.”

Customer: “Oh. Because if she were here, she’d give them to me.”

Me: “That may be, but unless I hear it from her, I won’t give them out. If I start handing stuff out for free, I’m going to get in trouble.”

Customer: “Oh no, don’t, I don’t want you to be in trouble, see, I’m a preacher!”

Me: “Well that’s good! I don’t want to be in trouble, either!”

A Penny For Your Loud Thoughts

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

(The place where I work offers ‘extended protection’ plans for select items. The plans are typically 10% the cost of the item, meaning if the item is $19.99, the plan costs $1.99. Because of this, I often just round up to the next whole dollar amount when citing the price of the item, then point out it’s a penny less if they opt to purchase it. It’s never been an issue before now. The customer is a middle-aged woman who has been very pleasant, thus far.)

Me: “It looks as though this item comes with the option of an extended protection plan, beyond that of the manufacturer’s warranty. It only costs $3 and gives you another year in case anything goes wrong.”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “Okay!” *adds the plan* “Also, it actually only costs $2.99, so you—”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “What? F*** you! No! I don’t want it! Never mind!”

Me: “…um, okay? But, so you’re aware, that’s less than what I said it would—”

Customer: “You! You said it would cost $3! YOU LIED JUST TO GET MY MONEY!” *jabs her finger towards my chest*

Me: “I promise you, ma’am, that wasn’t—”

Customer: “Shut the h*** up! I said no! You are trying to charge me more than what you said it would cost!”

(At this point, the customer standing behind her speaks up. She is a regular, and just celebrated her 87th birthday the week prior.)

Regular Customer: “Oh, for the love of Pete, you idiot! $2.99 is less than $3, not more! She just saved you a penny! And shame on you, standing here, screaming at her like this! What would your mother think? Now you apologize to this girl, buy the d*** plan, and get out of line! I’m missing my shows because of your shenanigans!”

(At this point, the other customer shuts up, pays for her items, and slinks off without another word.)

Me: *awestruck* “Thank you, for that. That was amazing.”

Regular Customer: *pats my hand and smiles* “It was nothing, dear. Honestly! No respect. That’s what’s wrong with people today!”

(I told my manager about the incident some hours later. The next time the regular came into the store? There was a $50 gift card waiting for her, as thanks from all of us.)

A Good Day Is A Bad Offense

| Pasadena, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(As I am ringing up a customer at my register, I try and make conversation.)

Me: “How’s your day going?”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How’s your day going?”

Customer: “What an absurd thing to ask someone you don’t even know! How dare you!”

Me: “Okay? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I don’t care, don’t ever ask something like that again!”

Me: “Bye.”

(I guess she was having a bad day.)

Those Who Can’t, iTeach

| GA, USA | Technology

Customer: “I want to see the new iPods. I am interested in one because I don’t want to buy an iPhone and be locked into a data plan.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the great thing about the iPod! With the addition of FaceTime, you can video chat people over wifi.”

Customer: “FaceTime, hmm? What is FaceTime?”

Me: “That’s a great question. It’s actually a brand new app that’s included with iOS 5 that allows you to video chat, like Skype.”

Customer: “Well, how does it work?”

Me: “Easy! You just open the app, tap the person you want to contact, and your device will attempt to connect to the person’s device for a video chat.”

(At this point in the conversation, I think I am doing a great job explaining FaceTime. Then, the tone completely changes.)

Customer: “Right, but how does it work?”

Me: “Like I said, you just tap the—”

Customer: “Stop, stop, stop! You already explained that. You’re avoiding the question now. How does FaceTime actually work!?”

Me: “…Like, the technology behind it?”

Customer: “Yes! What’s the technology behind it?”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well when you’re connected to wifi, it allows you to—”

Customer: “No! That’s not what I am asking. You know, I was a teacher for 20 years and if you were in my class, you would be given detention for having a smart mouth!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am not sure how else to explain it.”

Customer: “Is there someone else I could talk to who knows anything!?”

(I ended up getting my manager; they had just as tough of a time pleasing her!)

You Just Got Schooled, Part 3

| AZ, USA | Bigotry, School

(I worked in the tech repair department of computer electronics retailer. I walk up to the customer service desk to do an inspections for a coworker and a customer making a return.)

Coworker: *to me* “Hey, this customer is doing a return and we need the product inspected.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I inspect it and passively listen as the customer and coworker reminisce about the days when he was her soccer coach in a public high school a couple years back.)

Customer: “…yeah, things on the team aren’t like they used to be. With that recent rule change, they’re letting homeschoolers join our sports teams now too. The nerve of them taking positions from kids who are enrolled at the school and actually learning something! Those parents are uneducated idiots to prevent their kids from getting a good education.”

Coworker: “Wow, sounds like there are some issues to be worked out.” *looks at me* “Hey, weren’t you homeschooled?”

Me: “Yes I was, for six years into high school. My mother has a Bachelors in Teaching and father has a Bachelors in Science. I received four tech certifications before working here, and just graduated with a bachelor in Computer Information Systems.”

Customer: *stands their quietly, looking away*

Me: *to the customer* “Everything looks good. You can go ahead with the return.”

Related:
You Just Got Schooled, Part 2
You Just Got Schooled

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