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    GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity, Part 2

    , | IL, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [electronics store]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Well, here’s the thing. My husband and I are coming to you to return our GPS. It’s broken.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. So what is the problem?”

    Customer: “We weren’t sure where you are located, so we plugged the address into our GPS, and now we’re lost.”

    Me: ”Was this the same GPS that you were coming to return?!”

    Customer: “Yes, but we figured since we brought it to you, it would at least know how to find you.”

    Related:
    GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity

    Hello, This Is Mr. Bobcalling

    | MD, USA |

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [store]. This is Liz speaking. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, Lizspeaking. Do you have this in stock?”

    (I have no idea how to gently correct him, so I let it be and put the item he wants on hold. He then comes in later to pick up his item and approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “Are you Ms. Lizspeaking?”

    Coworker: “What?”

    The Pen Is Mighter Than The Brain, Part 2

    | Saskatoon, SK, Canada |

    (My work has touch screens for credit and debit transactions.)

    Customer: “Your screen has lines all over it. It’s really hard to read.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. Sorry. It still works fine, but the screens always seem to do that.”

    (The customer uses her finger to enter her pin number. We have pens attached to each machine for customers to enter pins and sign for credit cards.)

    Me: “Actually, could you use the pen? It makes it easier to use.”

    Customer: “No thanks. This is okay.”

    Me: “That’s actually the reason the machine’s screen has lines.”

    Related:
    The Pen Is Mightier Than The Brain

    One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 2

    | Allentown, PA, USA |

    (It is store policy to ask customers for zip codes, purely for survey purposes.)

    Me: “Good evening. May I have you zip code, please?”

    Customer: “No! That’s how they find you!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. I heard it on the news. The number one way that people steal your identity is from your zip code!”

    Me: “I’ll just enter a random one, then.”

    Customer: “Thank you. Hey, do you guys ever have coupon specials?”

    Me: “Oh, yes. Several times a year. We send out coupons to our email list. Would you like to sign up?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    Me: “Alright. When you get home, you can go to our website. The address is on your receipt. Sign up with your email address there.”

    Customer: “Wait, you’ll have my email address then?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s how the coupons and discounts get sent out. However, we keep that information very private. It’s not given out to anyone else.”

    Customer: “No way, they’ll use it to steal my identity! Let me give you my street address. You can send things there.”

    (The customer proceeds to hand me a blank check with all her info. She doesn’t even bother to void it.)

    Related:
    One Annoyed Paranoid

    The Race Against Identity Theft

    | MI, USA | Top

    (I’m ringing up a customer. He hands me a credit card.)

    Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

    Customer #1: “Sure.”

    (As he is getting his ID out, the next customer in line, a white soccer mom, speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “I don’t believe this s***! I’m going to report you, you racist b****!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer #2: “You heard me. You didn’t ask for the ID of the white lady before him, but a black man has a card and you check his. That’s racist s***! What, you think because he’s black he stole that or something?”

    Customer #2, to customer #1: “Why are you so calm? This isn’t the 50′s! You don’t have to put up with this s***. Tell her off!”

    Customer #1: “Actually, she asked me because I have ‘See ID’ written on my card.”

    Customer #2: “Oh…well. Um…okay.”


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