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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    No Kidding About The Kid

    | MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer is loudly talking on her phone while ignoring her young son. He’s already thrown his jacket to the floor and has run around the store several times, bumping into other customers. Suddenly the boy grabs a cake server off the shelf and begins waving it around in the air making light-saber noises.)

    Me: “Honey, be careful with that. I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.”

    Customer #1: “[Son]!”

    (The little boy drops the cake server then begins stomping around the store once again.)

    Customer #1: *to the phone* “So yeah, these ones have butterflies on them.”

    (The little boy seizes this opportunity to run behind the counter and begin messing with the engraving machines. I immediately pick him up and place him next to his mother.)

    Me: “Here, honey. Stay with your mom.”

    Customer #1: “DON’T TOUCH MY BABY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he could have seriously hurt himself. We work with dangerous equipment.”

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe you would touch my son! How dare you!”

    (At this point, I’m biting my tongue to keep from telling her off when another customer interjects.)

    Customer #2: “Lady, if you would get off the d*** phone and watch your brat this nice woman wouldn’t have to save his life!”

    Customer #1: “I’ll never shop here again!” *to me* “There has to be a law against molesting children like that! I’ll make sure you lose your job for this!” *storms out*

    Clear This Customer From Memory

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am a cashier at a grocery store. When a customer is making a purchase over $25 with a credit card, it is required that they sign for the transaction.)

    Me: “Okay, now the PIN pad is just requesting your signature to finish the transaction.”

    Customer: *after signing* “Should I hit enter or clear?”

    Seasonings Greetings

    | Canada | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (It’s Christmas time, and I am tasked with handing out free bags of popcorn to shoppers.)

    Manager: “Hey, I just got a complaint from a customer that this batch was too salty. Maybe cut it back a bit, then customers who want more salt can add it themselves.”

    Me: “Sure, not a problem!”

    (A couple batches later of adding barely any salt, an angry customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is this?!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “What, is there a shortage on salt or are you just being cheap?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, but some customers don’t like much salt on their popcorn, and it’s easier to add more than it is to remove it after the fact. If you’d like more salt you’re welcome to add more.”

    Customer: “This is f***ing bulls***! I shouldn’t have to add my own f***ing salt to my popcorn! I pay good money here!”

    (Thankfully, my manager overhears this and walks up.)

    Manager: *to the customer* “What money? You came to me earlier and complained the free popcorn you got was too salty. I asked my associate to cut back while you loitered around the store for half an hour, picked up another free bag only to complain again!”

    Customer: *turns red and leaves*

    No Business Like Snow Business

    | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in a ski resort town at a small store that sells ski & snowboard accessories. It’s peak season and extremely busy. There is a constant line at the register and since we are understaffed, I am running the store alone open to close. This means I can’t leave the store or have a break during the shift. I am ringing people up when a customer with her three daughters come running in the crowded store.)

    Customer: “Ma’am, excuse me! I know you’re busy, but my daughters have a lesson in 20 minutes and they need goggles! But we really just need them for the week.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, hang on a minute and I’ll be right with you.”

    (After ringing up a couple more people, I break away from the line to show her our basic goggles and open the case to let her daughters try them on, while people are calling after me to ring them up.)

    Customer: “Great, we’ll take four pairs!”

    Me: “Excellent.”

    (I lock the case, walk to the back closet and have to climb on a chair to reach four pairs on the top shelf and hand them to the woman. The people at the register are clearly getting more impatient.)

    Me: “If you just head to the back of the line, I’ll take care of you shortly.”

    Customer: “Great, thanks!”

    (I return to the register. The customer eventually gets to the front of the line, pays, and leaves. Ten minutes later, I am still ringing people up, and the customer comes back and pokes her head in the store.)

    Customer: “Hey!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Do you like coffee or soda?”

    Me: “Uh… coffee?”

    (The customer disappears, and returns five minutes later and hands me a large latte.)

    Customer: “I just wanted to thank you for helping me out when you were so busy! It looked like you wouldn’t be able to leave so I got this for you.”

    Me: “Wow… thank you so much, ma’am! I really, really appreciate this.”

    Customer: “Not a problem! Have a good day!”

    (It was one of the longest 60-hour weeks of my life, but that small gesture made my week and reminded me that there are some awesome tourists too!)

    DVDishonesty

    | Ardmore, OK, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I am working the self checkouts. A family has just voided an item off their ticket and I come over to see what’s up. They consist of a mother, a father, and a 6- or 7-year-old boy. They are of Hispanic descent and seem to speak primarily Spanish.)

    Me: “Hi, is anything wrong?”

    Mother: “This movie is ringing up for $16-something, but we got it out of the $5 bin.”

    Little Boy: “Wait, no we didn’t! We got it off the shelf!”

    (The mother hits the little boy admonishingly, says something in Spanish, and then hurries off. The father, however, lingers behind.)

    Father: “I’m so sorry!” *leaves*

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