He’ll Be Back In The Future

| Ireland | Movies & TV, Time

(A regular customer comes up to me. He’s notorious for being rude, ignoring what we say to him and just generally wasting our time.)

Regular: “Can you look up a music DVD for me?”

Me: “Sure, what are you looking for?”

Regular: I’m wondering if [band] released a DVD of their 45th anniversary concert. I saw it on TV a while back.”

Me: “Okay, sir. I can see here that they don’t have a 45th anniversary concert DVD, but they do have a 35th anniversary concert DVD. Is that the one you’re looking for perhaps?”

Regular: “Of course it’s not. Do I look like I’m stupid? I know what one I’m looking for and I’m looking for their 45th anniversary not the 35th anniversary!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s just that it says here that their 35th anniversary only happened 6 years ago. It would be impossible for them to have released a 45th anniversary DVD yet.”

Regular: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, there’s 10 years between a 35th anniversary and a 45th anniversary.”

Regular: “Yeah, so?”

Me: “So if their 35th anniversary happened in 2006 and there’s 10 years between 35 and 45…”

Regular: *stares blankly*

Me: “…their 45th anniversary won’t be out until 2016.”

Regular: “But I saw it on TV!”

Me: “Are you sure it wasn’t their 35th anniversary?”

Regular: “Of course I’m bloody well sure!”

Me: “Well then, I’m sorry sir the DVD you’re looking for is not available and won’t be for some time.”

Regular: “Fine. Will you just give me a ring when you can get it for me?”

Me: “Well, no, sir. The DVD doesn’t come out for another four years. I can’t even promise I’ll be here in four years when this DVD comes out.”

Regular: “You insolent little b****! I’ll be back in next month and you better be able to get it for me by then! You’re useless!” *leaves the store in a huff*

She’s A Bad Penny

| Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

(I work in a department store with a food hall. Company policy is to charge 5p for carrier bags in the food hall, and has been for several years. A woman walks up to the till with a few items and a backpack on.)

Me: “Hello, do you need a bag?”

Woman: *not paying much attention* “Yeah.”

Me: “Is a 5p bag okay?”

Woman: “Yeah.”

(I charge her for the bag and scan/pack her shopping.)

Me: “That’s [price], including the 5p bag charge.”

(She pays for her shopping using her credit card, then stops just as she is about to leave.)

Woman: “Was I charged for this bag?”

Me: “Yes, it cost 5p.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t want it then!”

(She tips her shopping out of the bag, back onto the counter, and then starts putting it in her backpack.)

Woman: “I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve closed the till, and only a manager can open it. I’ll just call one over for you.”

(I call a manager, but they’re all busy with other customers.)

Woman: “Hurry up! I want my money!”

Me: “I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

(A little old lady, waiting in the queue, gets fed up and takes 5p out of her purse.)

Little Old Lady: “Here you go, dear. Now off you trot!”

(The woman takes the 5p and leaves.)

Me: *to the little old lady* “Thank you so much!”

Little Old Lady: *smiles* “I don’t see why people like you and I have to put up with people like her!”

Careless Carers

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a large retail center, and we are highly understaffed. I work in the outdoor department, and stop to help a caretaker with a child; they’re looking for a baseball glove.)

Me: “Hello, do you need some help?”

Caretaker: “I’m just trying to get this d*** kid to wear this glove.”

Me: “…Excuse me?!”

Caretaker: “Yeah, I work as this brat’s caretaker, and he won’t put his hands in the glove.”

(I lean down to help the child, speaking softly and quietly, as he seems frightened. This only seems to enrage the caretaker further.)

Caretaker: “How dare you, b****… talking s*** to him about me?! You’re a d*** stupid loser and that’s why you work here!”

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am, I wasn’t talking about you. And please, don’t call me stupid; you do not know me.”

Caretaker: “Why do you work here if you’re not an idiot?”

Me: “I’m still working on my RN, so I can be more than a caretaker with a nasty attitude.”

(The caretaker walks away, still cussing at the child. I call security and ask them to follow her and be sure she doesn’t hurt the boy. Meanwhile, I am called up front to work on the register. Of course, the same caretaker is in line.)

Caretaker: “Hurry it up, b****! I spend my hard earned money on these groceries. Don’t waste my time.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am… your total is $100.67.”

Caretaker: “Here. Use my food stamps.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

Caretaker: “Unless you’re too f***ing dumb to know how to do that.”

(I finish ringing her up, but before she pushes her cart away, two sheriffs walk up and place handcuffs on her. Unbeknownst to me, she had, in fact, struck the child after I dealt with her the first time.)

Inaction Figures

| Long Island, NY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

(It is Black Friday. I’m shopping in the toy department of a store, taking a picture of an action figure that I plan on buying for a friend’s nephew. As I want to make sure the boy doesn’t have it already, I am sending the picture to my friend to check. I do not, nor have ever worked there.)

Woman #1: *talking loudly* “It’s so busy here today! Sure would be nice if I could figure out where the Avengers figures are!”

Woman #2: “Tell me about it; I can’t find anything!”

(I write them off as overly loud and ignore them while I wait for my friend to text me back.)

Woman #1: “You know, where I work we’re not allowed to even look at our cellphones, let alone talk on one.”

Woman #2: “You’d get fired at my job for using my phone.”

Woman #1: “It’s amazing the things people think they can do on the job these days. It’s ridiculous!”

Woman #2: “I know! They think they can pretend like they’re home and get paid for it.”

(They carry on like this while I wait. Finally, I get a reply text from my friend, grab the toy and walk off. About a minute later I look down, realize I am wearing a red fleece which the same shade as the staff uniforms, and suddenly everything clicks. They were passive-aggressively trying to get my attention for the better part of five minutes. By the way, if they had turned around they would have found what they were looking for!)

Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

| Minneapolis, MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work for a very well-known vacuum cleaner company. As part of our service, we repair and tune up vacuums for our customers. A couple comes in to get their vacuum back from being tuned up.)

Me: “Here’s your vacuum, folks!”

(The vacuum has a check-in sheet with the customer’s name, address, phone number and a description of the vacuum attached to it.)

Wife: “That’s not our vacuum!”

Me: “Okay, what makes you say that?”

Wife: “It’s the wrong color!”

Me: “Okay, what color was it?”

Husband: “Kind of an off-white.”

(This vacuum is white. It is very common for tuned up vacuums to be returned looking lighter in color than upon drop-off because they often come to us filthy and the cleaner we use is highly effective.)

Me: “So it appears to match the description on the sheet.”

Wife: “I don’t care what your paperwork says! I know what I know! You’re incompetent! Either that or your took our vacuum and sold it!”

(I spend the next hour calmly explaining to the customers that this is, in fact, their machine. The wife keeps insisting it’s not, that I’m a liar and/or some combination of idiot/thief and that we are incompetent. An hour late, this conversation finally stops chasing itself amid threats of litigation and promises to never come back to our store. I wind up comping them $30 in replacement parts even though I know for a fact they have the right vacuum.)

Old lady customer: “We’re going to the [location in St Paul that closed two years earlier] from now on!”

(Three hours later, the phone rings. It is the husband.)

Husband:“Turns out you were right. We looked at our purchase receipt and the serial number matches the one on the vacuum you gave us. Who do I make the check for the repairs out to?”

Related:
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum

Page 175/462First...173174175176177...Last