Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Marriage Of The Undead
    (1,886 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Idiot, Imbecile, Moron

    | Platteville, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Do you have any synonym?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “SYNONYM!”

    Me: “Do you mean cinnamon?”

    Customer: “No! God! They should have an I.Q. test before hiring people!” *storms away*

    A Cheerful Earful

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

    (I have been helping a customer sort out an order and have escorted her to the cashier. I hand her over with a smile and the cashier greets her with a smile.)

    Customer: “Everyone here is so cheerful! You are all so very cheerful!”

    Me: “Yes, well, we enjoy nice customers like you!”

    Customer: “God almighty, what do they feed you?! CHEERFUL Kool-Aid?!”

    (The cashier and I continue to smile while the customer pays. As she leaves…)

    Customer: “So cheerful…so cheerful…SO CHEERFUL!”

    One Does Not Simply Quaff Into Mordor

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Food & Drink

    (In the liquor store I work in, I notice an older man wondering around the store looking very confused. I ask if I can help him find anything.)

    Customer: “Do you have Rivendell?”

    Me:Rivendell?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for Rivendell.”

    Me: “Um, I don’t know if we have that here. Are you sure what you’re looking for is called ‘Rivendell?’”

    Customer: “Yes, Rivendell.”

    Me: *hesitantly* “Sir, I believe Rivendell is a city from The Lord Of The Rings.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (We pause and stare at each other for a moment. He pulls his phone out to call the person who sent him to the store. What was he looking for? Zinfandel.)

    Related:
    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet, Part 2
    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet

    Subjective Job Satisfaction

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (I’m a cashier ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “Yep, it was fine.”

    Me: *smiling* “That’s good.”

    Customer: “You have a nice smile.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Customer: “You must be very happy.”

    Me: “Usually.”

    Customer: “I have a friend who is a stripper. You’re much happier than her.”

    Me: *speechless* “Uh, thanks? You’re total is [total]. Have a nice day.”

    Two Heads, Half A Brain

    | Oshawa, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Two teenage girls, about fifteen years old, are in my store trying to buy perfume. On the counter, there are two bottles of our store brand perfume beside each other. There is a small bottle and there is a large bottle.)

    Me: “So, the large bottle is $25.00 and the small bottle is $15.00.”

    Customer #1: “Which bottle is the small one?”

    Me: *confused* “The smaller one of these two.”

    Customer #1: “Oh…”

    (The girls wander around the store and comment on how cute our sandals are.)

    Me: “Our sandals are really nice. They’re actually buy one, get one half off.”

    Customer #2: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “You buy one pair of sandals, and you get the second pair half off.”

    Customer #2: “Wait, what?!”

    (The girl looks at me genuinely confused. At this point, I have no other way to explain buy one get one half off, so I just repeat what I said.)

    Me: “You buy one pair of sandals, and you get the other for half the price.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t understand…”

    (The girls eventually give up. As they walk out of the store, I overhear them talking to each other.)

    Customer #1, to Customer #2: “I don’t get what ‘Buy one, get one half off’ means!”

    Page 174/419First...172173174175176...Last