October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Start Thinking To A Different Tune

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m showing a customer our selection of mp3 players. He is looking for two things: small and cheap. I show him an mp3 player that costs only $9.99 and is about two inches long.)

Customer: “I don’t know about this one; it might not be right for me.”

Me: “Is it because it’s only two gigabytes? I know that kind of capacity is a little on the smaller side, but it can still hold more than enough songs to get you through the day.”

Customer: “No, it’s not that. It’s just that there is no screen. I can’t see if a song that I don’t like is going to come up or not.”

Me: “Well, if this mp3 player is for your own personal use, then chances are you’re only going to put on songs that you like, right? So, I don’t think the lack of a screen will be a big deal.”

Customer: “Wow… that is very true, actually. You just totally blew my mind, dude. Whoa, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!”

Acts Of Kindness Do Register

| Kirksville, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I’m working as a cashier during the Black Friday sale. We’ve just had new registers installed a few months prior. It is extremely busy because of the sale. I’ve finished scanning everything for a customer.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $1458.97.”

Customer: “Okay, credit.”

(She scans her card, and my entire register crashes. My screen is totally black.)

Me: “Uh… I need to call a supervisor over. My register just crashed.”

(My supervisor comes over, and I explain the situation.)

Customer: “Oh, no! Did I break it?”

Supervisor: “No, it’s possible that all the transactions have just overloaded the system. I’ll take you to the service desk, and we’ll fix this.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(She follows my supervisor. The other supervisors move the rest of my line to the service desk. I go outside to take my break, when another customer approaches me.)

Customer #2: “Were you the one whose register broke down?”

Me: “Yeah, that was me.”

Customer #2: “That must have been a bit nerve wracking.”

Me: “Yeah, but at least that lady was calm about it. It could have been a lot worse!”

Customer #2: “Are you guys allowed drinks while you’re working?”

Me: “Not normally, but they are allowing it tonight because of the sale. I should go back in and get back to work. Have a nice night.”

(I return, and my register is working properly. About an hour later, Customers #1 and #2 come back though my line. They set one of every drink we sell by the checkout lines on my counter.)

Customer #1: “Pick one.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #1: *points to Customer #2* “My husband told me that he talked to you on your break. You were very calm, and didn’t have anything bad to say. So pick a drink; it’s on me!”

(One of my supervisors comes over and assures me it’s okay.)

Me: “Okay, thank you. I’ll take this one.”

(It turns out they were from the corporate office, and they gave my manager a great letter of commendation! I never volunteered for Black Friday after that though!)

His Attitude Needs A Converter

| Watertown, MA, USA | Bigotry, Technology

(I am the only female in the electronics department of a large retail store. A young male customer comes in.)

Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Er, um, actually if you don’t mind, could I perhaps speak to someone a bit more… male?”

Me: “Why of course, sir. Give me one moment.”

(I find my direct supervisor. I let him know that the customer wants to speak to someone more ‘male’.)

Supervisor: “Hello, sir. I understand you have a question for me?”

Customer: “Yes. I was wondering if you sold any televisions that didn’t need a converter box.”

(My supervisor looks at me.)

Me: “If you purchase a television that was manufactured after 2004, a digital tuner is more likely to have been included in the design specifications. We can check for an Advanced Television Systems Committee input if you’d like.”

Customer: “Uh… so?”

Me: “An ATSC is often referred to as a ‘digital input’, which negates the need for an external antennae to capture an analog signal. When the conversion happens, it will be essential that the TV you wish to continue using have the ability to receive and translate digital signals.”

Customer: “Um…”

Me: “Furthermore, should you decide to utilize a Video Cassette Recorder, you would most likely find it beneficial to connect a converter box to translate the digital signal to an analog recording outlet.”

Customer: *blank look*

Me: “Any TV we sell has a built in digital tuner, so you don’t need a converter box. If you want to use a VCR with a new TV, you will need a converter box.”

Customer: *speaking quickly* “Um, thanks. Have a nice day. Sorry.”

(The customer proceeds to bow his head, tuck his hands in his pockets, and walk rapidly towards the front door.)

Supervisor: “Nice.”

His Size Is XX-Creepy

| Papillion, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(A male customer approaches me, holding a package of men’s underwear.)

Customer: “Ma’am, can I ask you to do something that is probably outside your job description?”

Me: “What is it?”

(He puts the package down and sticks his hands in the back of his pants.)

Customer: “Okay, I need a new pair of underwear. I don’t know what size I wear, and I can’t read the tag.”

Me: “You can go in one of the men’s fitting rooms and check.”

Customer: “D*** it!”

The Digit(al) Age

| NJ, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”

Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”

Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”

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