A Knowing Personality

| Miami, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

(I’m showing a couple our knife sets demonstrating the difference between each brand.)

Me: “So, if you happen to be a rocker, that is someone who keeps a part of the blade in contact with the cutting board at all times, then you’ll want this type. If, however, you’re a chopper, who lifts the blade completely off the board, then you might find these a better fit since they have a shallower curve on the blade.”

Lady: “Right, well actually he-” *points to her companion* “-is the one who’s going to be using them, so why don’t I leave you two to it, and look for the rest of the stuff on my list?”

Man: “Sounds good.” *turns to me* “Hey, you got anything heavier? I like putting power into my chopping.”

(I show him several additional knives, speaking about the differences in handle shapes and steel grade when he interrupts me.)

Man: “Oh, and you do know that if these knives turn out to be cheap sh**, I’m going to have to come back here and have some very stern words with you.”

Me: *taken aback* “Sir, these are made to the highest specifications of German craftsmanship. Says so right there on the blade.” *I gesture to the ‘Made In Germany’ stamp* “The ones in the cabinet next to me come from Japan, and are made using the same ore and techniques as samurai swords. If you’re going to honestly come back and tell me steel of this caliber is, to use your own words, cheap s***, then I have only three words to say to you: bring it on!”

(The man stares at me, looking not so much offended as bemused. He then proceeds to tip his hat to me in respect.)

Man: “I see you clearly do know your stuff. Please forgive me for doubting you.” *looks around for his girlfriend* “Are you as knowledgeable about the other products in this store?”

Me: “Every one of them.”

(He spies his girlfriend who’s speaking to another associate.)

Man: “Honey come back here, we’re going with this guy! He’s got the know, and the personality!”

(They proceed to do their entire order with me, and the man even insists on shaking my hand afterward saying he’s glad to have found someone with confidence in what they sell. Definitely among my best customers ever!)

Loves Listening To The Sound Of His Master’s Voice

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

(This particular music and entertainment retailer has just entered administration, meaning that all branches face closure and employees may lose their jobs. This has just been announced and there is a lot of press surrounding this. Stores remain open until the company either finds a buyer, or completely folds. Employees are in a state of limbo, waiting for news. I am a customer waiting in one of the smaller branches to pay when I overhear this exchange.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to find this CD and you don’t have it.”

Cashier: “I can look it up on the system, tell you if any other stores have it. At the moment I can’t order you a copy as our ordering services has been frozen.”

Customer: “I refuse to go anywhere else. I need this CD right now. It was released in 1987. How can you not have it in stock?”

Cashier: “We may have it in stock. Please give me the name of the artist and I will have a look. Please bear in mind we are a small branch so only carry limited stock.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough. You have everything. I need this CD.”

Cashier: “Sir, please tell me the name of the CD and I’ll see what I can find.”

Customer: “You are absolutely useless. Why can’t you just tell me if you have it? Why don’t you have it? No wonder this company is in crisis.”

Cashier: “Sir, I can’t search if you don’t tell me what you are looking for. Please tell me the artist’s name.”

Customer: *suddenly screaming* “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT THIS COMPANY IS GOING UNDER. YOU DESERVE TO LOSE YOUR JOB. YOU ARE A USELESS PIECE OF S***!”

(The customer storms out. The cashier looks thoroughly upset. Thankfully, the next few people in the queue all approach the counter with a smile and a kind word. The regulars among us do not want to see this store close.)

Uninformed About A Badly Formed Uniform

| AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m female, work in an electronics store and I have a fairly large chest. The uniform the company provides doesn’t really cover everything, so I wear a shirt underneath to cover my cleavage.)

Customer: “Do you have no modesty?! Cover yourself!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Women with breasts like that shouldn’t be flaunting about. This isn’t a night club!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m fairly certain I have everything covered. If you have a problem with my uniform, may I suggest you bring it up with my manager?”

(At this point she walks away, mumbling to herself. Anytime I see her, she’s glaring at me. Some time later she approaches me again.)

Customer: “You think you’re so special, don’t you? Probably take men out to the back and give them a show for tips! I bet that’s just a part of some skanky lingerie under there!” *pointing to my camisole I’m wearing under my top*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to take your things to the front to pay for them and let me get back to work here.”

(At this point she lunges at me and attempts to rip my shirt off. She actually snaps off a few of the buttons in the process. A co-worker and my manager drag her off of me and out of the store.)

Manager: “Well… that was a show!”

(He gave me the last couple hours of my shift off and some cash to go buy a new shirt. Didn’t have to wear that uniform anymore!)

To And Fro Is The Way To Go

| Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(It’s the holiday season, and I’m shopping for DVDs as gifts for my family. I see a movie that I want to get for myself, but decide against it. A few minutes later, I change my mind, but the movie has disappeared. I take the rest of my purchases up to the counter, where I notice the customer in front of me is about to buy the movie I was looking for.)

Me: “Ah, so that’s where it went.”

Other customer: “Pardon me?”

Me: *chuckling* “I was thinking about getting that DVD, but when I went back to the shelf, it was gone. I couldn’t figure out what happened to it.”

Other customer: “Here you go!” *hands me the DVD*

Me: “Thanks, but I don’t really need it. You go ahead.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

Other customer: “If you want it, by all means, please take it.” *she hands me the DVD again*

Me: “Are you buying this as a gift?”

Other customer: “Well, yes, but…”

Me: “Then you should definitely take it. I’ll pick it up some other time.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

Other customer: “Are you sure? Because I can easily find something else.”

Me: “I’m positive, but thanks again.”

(At this point, we realize the cashier is staring at us with wide eyes.)

Other customer: “Miss? Is everything okay?”

Cashier: (emotionally) “You two are the only nice customers I’ve dealt with all day!”

I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here

| Mankato, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(I am working the jewellery counter at a popular department store. As I am opening the case to show an item to a customer, a second customer walks over and pushes the first customer out of her way.)

Customer #2: “Hey! You! Do you work here?”

(I look up in surprise to see if she is joking. She’s not.)

Customer #1: *sarcastically* “No, she just wears a name tag and has keys to all the expensive stuff for the fun of it.”

Customer #2: “Well, anyway, go find someone who does, then! I need service over here!”

Me: “Someone will be with you in a moment, ma’am, but this lady was here first.”

Customer #2: “Not good enough!”

(Customer #2 storms off in the direction of the watches. Meanwhile Customer #1 stares at her as she stomps away.))

Customer #1: “Did that really just happen?”

Me: “I’m afraid so, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Wow. I didn’t think people like that were real.”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6

Page 173/468First...171172173174175...Last