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    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2

    | Portsmouth, UK | Math & Science

    (I’m makeup artist on a counter in a large department store. Although I don’t have anything to do with the department store, lots of customers approach me for help, and I’m usually able to assist.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell the Nintendo 3DS?”

    Me: “We don’t in store, but I can order one for you.”

    Customer: “You know, I wish everything was in 3D. The world would be so much more interesting!”

    Me: “Ma’am, everything is in 3D, including yourself.”

    Customer: “Whatever. Airheaded bimbo!” *storms off*

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    A New Dimension Of Stupidity

    The Neck-ed Truth

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Customer: “Can you help me out? This top doesn’t have the same neck as the one on the mannequin, and I like the look of that one better.”

    (We go to look at the mannequin.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is the same top.”

    Customer: “No! It’s not! The neck doesn’t go up as high on this shirt as it does on the mannequin.”

    (I start thinking that she’s talking about how the neck is wider in the shoulders. The neck looks a little higher on the mannequin than it does on the hanger.)

    Me: “No, ma’am. This is the same shirt. It just looks like a lower neckline on the hanger.”

    (At this point the customer reaches out and touches the mannequin’s neck as she speaks.)

    Customer: “No! It’s not! You can’t honestly tell me that the neck of that shirt is the same as this one!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s the mannequin’s neck, not part of the shirt.”

    Takes One To H2O One

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA |

    (I’m sitting at my kiosk drinking from a water bottle.)

    Woman: “You’re not supposed to drink on the job!”

    (Thinking she’s just giving me a hard time, I just laugh.)

    Woman: “I know that’s not water. I know all the tricks!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Til Delivery Do Us Part

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am! It’s [my name] from [store name]! I wanted to let you know your order came in—”

    Customer: “Oh! Yes, would you ship it—oh, hold on.”

    (There’s long pause.)

    Customer: “Actually, will you call me back in a couple days? I’m just sitting here waiting for my husband to die.”

    Me: *taken aback* “Oh, my…I am so sorry your husband is ill, ma’am—”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget to call me, okay? Bye!” *click*

    Compliments To The Bride

    | London, England, UK |

    (I’m serving a customer and she catches sight of my engagement ring.)

    Customer: “Oh my God, you’re married?”

    Me: “Engaged, actually.”

    Customer: “Wow, but you’re so ugly!”

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