I work for a big grocery store. There is a [Retail Chain] about a five-minute drive from us.

One day, [Retail Chain] shopping carts start showing up in our corrals. It’s only one or two a week, but corporate instructs us to remove them from customer access wherever found, and they quickly start taking up a lot of space in our storage.

About once every month or two, the store manager sends an employee with a van to return the carts to [Retail Chain]. It’s the neighborly thing to do.

Unfortunately, after about a year of this, corporate starts squawking about lost manpower hours and mileage reimbursement and orders us to stop returning carts.

So, the store manager calls [Retail Chain] to explain and asks that they start sending an employee here to pick up the carts.

Instead of being reasonable, the [Retail Chain] manager accuses my manager of deliberately stealing his carts and threatens legal action.

A [Retail Chain] employee never arrives to recover the carts, and after consulting with legal, my manager orders the destruction of [Retail Chain] carts. Now, instead of returning them to [Retail Chain], we’re throwing them in our dumpsters to be carted to the dump. We pay by weight, so this actually costs more than returning them.

My manager calls [Retail Chain] one more time, against the advice of legal, to advise them that we’ve begun the destruction of the carts but that they still have a couple of days in which they can come by to get the carts. He just gets more inane accusations in response.

We do eventually resolve the mystery, though.

One day, I see a young man returning a [Retail Chain] cart to our cart return. I radio the manager on duty and approach the young man.

Me: “Hello. May I ask what you’re doing?”

Customer: “I am returning the cart to the corral.”

He gestures with both hands at the cart and corral when he says those words.

Me: “Why are you returning it to us when we were not [Retail Chain] and the cart is [Retail Chain]’s?”

Customer: “[Retail Chain] doesn’t have any corrals. Carts go in corrals.”

Me: “You should return the carts to the [Retail Chain] building if they don’t have any corrals.”

Customer: “Carts belong in corrals. Carts go to the corrals. Carts need to go to corrals. Carts do not go to the store. You do not take carts to the store.”

When I suggest that [Retail Chain] carts should go back to a [Retail Chain], and not a [Our Store], he becomes agitated and wails:

Customer: “But [Retail Chain] doesn’t have a corral!”

Around this time, my manager arrives and tells me to take a hike.

Manager: “I’ll take it from here.”

I don’t know what exactly my manager said to that man. Perhaps all he did was suggest a different store to return the [Retail Chain] carts to. Perhaps he suggested that the kid shop with us rather than with our competitor.

Whatever the duty manager said, it worked: the carts stopped appearing after that.

I did ask around, just because I wanted a fuller picture of what had just happened, and I found out that that specific [Retail Chain] HAD gotten rid of all of their outdoor cart corrals around the same time that the carts started appearing at ours.

I worked in a health food store back in the 1970s. We sold natural and organic foods along with vitamins, etc. The stores were just a little larger than your average convenience store, and this particular store was on the smaller side; you could see the entire store, front to back, from anywhere in the store.

A young woman was strolling around the store, casually looking at what we sold. One of the more popular items the company sold was something called a “Super Snack”, which was a package containing peanuts, raisins, and other nuts and seeds. This woman took one, opened it, and started eating it while she wandered around the store.

After about fifteen minutes, she came to the register to check out. She bought three fairly inexpensive items that totaled about $6.25. I noticed that she had finished off her bag of “Super Snacks” and had apparently ditched the empty bag somewhere because it wasn’t with her.

I rang her up and told her what her total came to. It’s worth noting that she and I were the only two people in the store at the time; the manager was out in the back room.

Me: “Okay, that will be $7.45.”

Customer: “I thought these totaled, like, ah…” *pauses briefly, adding it up in her head* “…like, $6.25? What’s the extra $1.20 for?”

Me: “It’s for that bag of ‘Super Snacks’ you were eating while you were walking around the store.”

Customer: “Oh.”

She didn’t argue the point; she just paid, took her stuff, and left. Yeah, lady, nailed you! You eat it, you pay for it.

An elderly woman comes through my line.

Me: “Hi there, ma’am. How are you today?”

She doesn’t respond, just gives me a blank look. I wordlessly ring up her order and then tell her the total. She pulls out her credit card and slams it on the counter, despite the card reader literally being right in front of her face.

Me: “You can insert, tap, or swipe your card up here, ma’am.”

I return her blank stare and gesture at the card reader.

Customer: “What? What do you want me to do?”

Me: *A little louder* “Insert your card, ma’am. Up here.”

She inserts her card but pulls it out too soon.

Me: “It didn’t go through. You have to insert it again. Don’t remove it until it tells you to.”

Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! I don’t know what the h*** you want me to do!”

By now, there’s a line forming behind this elderly woman. The next customer in line steps in to help the elderly woman with the card reader. At the end of the transaction, I hand the elderly woman her receipt. The elderly woman turns to the customer who helped her, thanks them for their help, and then gestures toward me.

Customer: *Loudly* “This one doesn’t talk, apparently.”

I turn to the customer who helped the elderly woman and chuckle.

Me: *Loudly* “This one forgot to put in the hearing aids, apparently.”

And then a miracle happened: All of a sudden, the elderly woman could hear me.

I am working my daily shift at work when my cousin comes over and hands me a coffee and donuts from the local bakery.

Me: “Aww, thank you!”

Cousin: “You’re welcome! I can’t stay long as I have to get back to the guys; I will see you later at the reunion!”

He leaves and a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Does your manager know you’re getting free coffee and donuts?”

Me: “He’s my cousin, and he took the time to get me the coffee and donuts.”

The customer tries to grab one of my donuts.

Me: “If you lay a hand on these donuts, I will throw you out so fast you will get whiplash.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “You’re excused. Bye now, and thank you for coming to the store. Have a good day!”

My coworker and manager heard me and told me they laughed when I said that!

I am at the cash register doing a transaction with a young woman.

Me: “All right, your total is [total]. Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: *Mumbles for a few seconds* “No.” *Mumbles again*

I click no receipt and finish her transaction.

Me: “Okay, you are all set. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *Mumbles* “My receipt?”

Me: “My apologies, I thought you said no. I can print for you if you’d like.”

Customer: *Mumbles*

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time hearing you. Would you like me to print your receipt?”

Customer: *Mumbles* “Yes.”

I go ahead and start the process of printing it off which, for whatever reason, involves calling over one of the managers to approve it.

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. I’ll need my manager to come over to approve it and then it will print.”

It takes a few minutes to get an available manager to come over. There is an entire conversation between the manager and me about printing it in front of the woman. Once it’s printed, I hand it to her, but she stands there staring at the receipt, looking confused.

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I didn’t need my receipt.”

She then threw away the receipt in the trashcan right next to the register. My manager was just as confused as I was.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 20
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 19
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 18
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 17
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 16