Featured:
May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

Very Open With His Demands

| NY, USA | Bizarre

(I’m following this customer around the store, as he keeps opening things. Each time I tell him to stop, he insists that it was already open, even though he sees me watching.)

Me: “Sir, please don’t open that. Other customers won’t want to buy it if it’s been tampered with!”

Customer: “Fine! Just give me this stuff!”

(The customer tosses a handful of wrappers and things that he had already opened. I quickly ring him out and when I give him his total he flips out.)

Customer: “Where’s my discount! All of this stuff is opened. I should get a discount!”

Out Of Print, Out Of Mind

| Cambridge, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

(It is 1992. I am working cash register.)

Customer: “Can you guys order a disc if I don’t see it out here?”

Me: “Sure, I can make you a special order.”

Customer: “Great, what do I do?”

(We go through a form with the customer’s name, phone number, the band name and the album name.)

Customer: “They’re called Split Enz, and the album is See You Around.”

Me: “Oh, cool, I’ve heard of that band, but not that album. One minute…”

(I look up the album in our distributor’s catalog.)

Me: “Hmm, they don’t list that album here.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “So, I can’t place the order without the distributor’s catalog number. Hang on a second.”

(I phone the distributor and find out that the album is out of print.)

Me: “They say it’s actually called See Ya Round, but I’m sorry, I can’t order this for you. The album is out of print.”

Customer: “Of course it is! That’s why I need you to order it for me!”

Me: “If there aren’t any copies out in the bins, I can’t order you something that’s not being made anymore.”

Customer: “No, it’s out of print! Order me a new one!”

Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work that way. If it’s out of print, the record company isn’t making it anymore. They aren’t sending us any more copies. It’s out of print.”

Customer: “Yes, I know it’s out of print. That’s why I have to order it, duh! Why can’t you get it?”

Me: “Because it’s out of print?”

Customer: “I just said that! Order one!”

Me: “Um, have you tried any of the used record stores in town?”

Customer: “Jeez! If it’s out of print, why can’t you just order me one?!” *storms out*

Wasteland Not, Want Not

| Ottawa, Canada | Bizarre

Me: “…and would you like to put a three year warranty on this product? It protects it with us so you don’t have to deal with the manufacturer. ”

Man: “Three years? I only plan on using this until December!”

Me: “Oh, okay. Are you moving or something?”

Man: “Uh, no. Didn’t you hear? The world is going to end in December. Your warranty is useless! You’re just trying to get more money out of me while we still have a system of value! I see what you’re doing!”

Me: *speechless*

Man: “You won’t survive long in the wasteland.”

Me: “Uh huh. You have a nice day, sir.”

Small Print, Smaller Minds

| IN, USA | At The Checkout

(I work as a manager at a large craft store chain. A customer comes in, wanting to return a clearance item she had purchased from another store in our chain.)

Customer: “I want to return this item, please.”

(I look at her receipt, and notice it is over 60 days old.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t take back clearance items on receipts that are more than 60 days old.”

Customer: “The cashier didn’t tell me that.”

Me: “Well, our return policy is right here on the back of the receipt.”

Customer: “Well, she didn’t tell me to turn it over and read it!”

Black & Blue Friday

| Natchitoches, LA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I normally avoid Black Friday sales because of the madness that ensues. However, a few years ago, a retailer put a sewing machine on sale and I desperately wanted a new one so I went with my aunt and cousins. Not wanting to be in the way, I put my machine in my cart and moved so that I was well out of the way while my relatives shopped.)

Woman: *rams the back of my legs with her heavily-ladened cart* “Watch it!”

Me: “Excuse you! There was plenty of room for you to get by! Why the h*** did you do that?”

Woman: “I didn’t see you there! You shouldn’t hide like that!”

Me: “I was right in front of you! How could you miss me?”

Woman: “Well, you’re just so short that I didn’t see you!”

Me: “Really? That’s the best excuse you’ve got? Lady, there’s NOTHING blocking your view of me and I’ve got BRIGHT RED HAIR! I’m also wearing a WHITE shirt that has a HUGE Mickey Mouse printed on it! So, how in the world did you NOT see me?”

Woman: *meekly* “I’m so sorry.” *runs off*

Page 171/455First...169170171172173...Last