Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Two Thumbs Up
    (1,569 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    My Head Megahertz

    , | Henderson, NV, USA | Technology, Top

    Customer: “I need a new laptop. I want one better than the one I have. I want to spend no more than 600 dollars.”

    (After finding out that he has a machine running Windows 98 with 512 MB of RAM and 60 GB of hard drive space, I provide him several different laptop choices within his price range. They have either 3 GB or 4 GB of RAM, running Windows 7.)

    Customer: “No, no, no! I said better! I have 512 memory, but you keep recommending only 3 and 4! Also, 7 is way lower than 98! Get me someone who knows what I mean by better!”

    When Customers Get Cheeky

    | Washington, USA |

    (I work retail and I am leading a customer to the fitting room. I usually end up walking in front of customers on the way to the back of the store and this is the conversation that takes place.)

    Customer: “May I ask you a personal question?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah, I guess.”

    Customer: “Is your butt fake?”

    Me: “Excuse me?!”

    Customer: “Your butt. Are you wearing padded underwear or do you have implants?”

    Me: “Wow…no. My butt is real, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I was just wondering, because it seems too big and perfect to be real! You go girl!”

    Me: “Thanks…”

    Your Own Worst Critic

    | Memphis, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

    (A woman comes into the store and walks up to the clerk.)

    Customer: “Some lady parked wrong and is blocking all of the traffic in the parking lot.”

    Me: “Did you see her come into this store?”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t see her at all.”

    Me: “Then, how do you know that it was a woman?”

    Customer: “Because women always do things wrong.”

    (The woman in line behind her gasps at this.)

    Customer: “Well, that’s what my husband tells me.”

    The Party Don’t Start ‘Till I Walk In

    | Lincoln, NE, USA |

    (It’s 9 am and the phone rings. Note that we open at 10 am.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “What time do you open?”

    Me: “10 o’ clock.”

    Caller: “Then why are you there?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “Why are you there answering phones if you’re not open?”

    Me: “We have a lot to do to get the store ready for opening.”

    Caller: “Well, you shouldn’t be there. Otherwise you should just open at 9.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we’ll see you at 10!”

    Caller: *click*

    I Can Be Anything I Want

    , | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

    (I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

    Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

    Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s 6.”


    Page 171/393First...169170171172173...Last