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    He Already Has Enough Issues

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Spouses & Partners

    (One of my co-workers is checking out a couple.)

    Cashier: “Alright, so your total is [total].”

    (The wife starts paying with debit. Her husband is scanning our magazines at the side of the till.)

    Husband: *to the cashier* “Excuse me, miss? Can I get a magazine?”

    Cashier: “Oh, sure, I don’t see why not. We can do it as a separate transaction if you’d like?”

    Husband: “Oh? I have to buy them?”

    Cashier: *laughs* “Yes, sir. You would have to buy it.”

    Husband: “Oh… well then, never mind.” *turns to his wife* “This b**** won’t give me a magazine!”

    Wife: “Shut up; you’re being an a**!”

    (The two customers leave and the cashier turns to me.)

    Cashier: “I really hope he was drunk. If not, then what just happened?”

    Gift (Of Life) Box

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids

    Customer: “Do you guys sell watch gift boxes?”

    Co-worker: “Yes we do!” *she pulls one out* “Will this do?”

    Customer: “Hmm, no. I need something a bit bigger. I need one large enough to fit a pregnancy test!”

    (My co-worker and I are leaning down, looking for a larger gift box. It takes a minute for us to process what she says.)

    Co-worker: “Oh! Congratulations!”

    Customer: *looking teary-eyed and grinning widely* “Thanks so much! I am so excited!”

    (My co-worker found her a box, and gave it to her on the house!)

    Purchasing Blood Wine

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

    Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

    (The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

    Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

    Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

    (He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

    Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (Our card readers are different from a lot of other stores. If you swipe a debit card, it asks for a pin number. To use it as credit, the cashier has to push a button on the register. Pushing ‘cancel’ does not change it to credit; it cancels the card, and the customer has to swipe it again. A customer approaches my register with a nearly-full cart.)

    Me: “Hello! Did you find everything okay?”

    (The customer ignores me, and starts putting items on the counter. I start to scan and bag as usual. However the customer does not remove the bags, and instead continues unloading her cart. Eventually, I have scanned and bagged everything; however all the bags are still sitting on the counter.)

    Me: “Your total is—”

    (The customer tries to swipe their debit card, cannot do so as the bags are blocking the card reader. Rather than place the bags in the empty cart, she shoves them out of the way, sending two bags to the floor and knocking over a third. After sighing loudly, she puts the bags back on the counter, swipes their card and pushes ‘cancel’ when it asks for a pin.)

    Me: “Did you want that as credit?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Yes!”

    Me: “Could you swipe your card again, please?”

    (The customer grumbles, swipes the card, and immediately pushes cancel again.)

    Me: “Could you swipe your card again and not push ‘cancel’ this time, please?”

    Customer: “Your stupid card reader isn’t working!”

    Me: “Ma’am, pressing ‘cancel’ does not switch it to credit. Swipe your card again and don’t push ‘cancel’.”

    (She swipes her card, and pushes ‘cancel’.)

    Me: “Sorry, it’s not reading your card. Could you swipe it one more time please?”

    (This time, I’m mashing the ‘credit’ button on the register. Fortunately, I manage to get it to switch before the customer hits ‘cancel’ yet again.)

    Customer: *sees that it switched to credit* “Why didn’t pushing ‘cancel’ work before?”

    Me: “I have no idea.” *completes transaction* “Have a nice day.”

    (At this point, the customer finally takes the bags off the counter and puts them in their cart. After they exit, I call my manager over, who witnessed part of the exchange.)

    Me: “Can I go on break?”

    Manager: “Yep. Take a few extra minutes if you need to.”

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    This Employee Isn’t Par For The Course

    | Canada | Bad Behavior

    (I work at a store that sells clothing for casual wear and work wear. On random occasions, customers mistake our store for the sports store next door. On this day, an elderly lady is just such a customer, as she wants to find something we definitely don’t carry.)

    Elderly Customer: *yelling at a male employee* “You d*** kids don’t know anything these days!”

    Me: “Excuse me miss, can I help you?”

    Elderly Customer: *whirls around, clearly angry* “You! You are too young, too! You won’t know what I’m looking for!”

    Me: “If you would just tell me, I’m sure I can help you.”

    Elderly customer: “I’m looking for a tam! Do you even know what a tam is?! You don’t! You’re too young!”

    (I actually know what a tam is, because my grandfather golfs all the time.)

    Me: “A tam is a slouched hat for men to wear while golfing. It has a small bill and a loose cap, and sits on your head like a French beret.”

    (I’ve clearly surprised the customer, as she remains silent.)

    Me: “Try the store next door, ma’am.”

    (I calmly escort her out, all the while, my other coworkers stare. I had a bit of a tough time explaining it to my manager though. I never expected a tam to be something so few people knew of.)

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