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    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8

    | Onley, VA, USA |

    (I work in the electronics department of a large retail chain.)

    Customer: “Hello, I was looking to find the new Twilight.”

    Me: “All of our Twilight movies are located over here. I can show you–”

    Customer: “I need to find Breaking Dawn.”

    Me: “Oh, well, our book department is this way–”

    Customer: “No, no, no! I have the book already. I need the movie!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but Breaking Dawn doesn’t come out until Friday.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll just come back then.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I meant it comes out in theaters on Friday.”

    Customer: “So, you won’t have the DVD by Christmas?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no.”

    Customer: “That’s just confusing! Why would the book come out before the movie?! It’s so weird!”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    A Different Kind Of Nip Slip

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (I am showing white polo shirts to a customer.)

    Customer: “It certainly looks nice. Too bad I can’t wear it due to my conspicuous nipples.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Customer: “Nothing.”

    Age Is But A Number

    | UK | Family & Kids

    (A girl, no older than 7, is counting items on the shelves.)

    Me: “So, you like to count? What’s your favorite number?”

    Girl: *cheerfully* “69!”

    Me: *pause and glance at her mother* “Oh, that’s gr–”

    Mother: *nervously* “Uh, um, her grandma just turned 69 today. She didn’t mean that!” *drags her daughter away*

    My Head Megahertz

    , | Henderson, NV, USA | Technology, Top

    Customer: “I need a new laptop. I want one better than the one I have. I want to spend no more than 600 dollars.”

    (After finding out that he has a machine running Windows 98 with 512 MB of RAM and 60 GB of hard drive space, I provide him several different laptop choices within his price range. They have either 3 GB or 4 GB of RAM, running Windows 7.)

    Customer: “No, no, no! I said better! I have 512 memory, but you keep recommending only 3 and 4! Also, 7 is way lower than 98! Get me someone who knows what I mean by better!”

    When Customers Get Cheeky

    | Washington, USA |

    (I work retail and I am leading a customer to the fitting room. I usually end up walking in front of customers on the way to the back of the store and this is the conversation that takes place.)

    Customer: “May I ask you a personal question?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah, I guess.”

    Customer: “Is your butt fake?”

    Me: “Excuse me?!”

    Customer: “Your butt. Are you wearing padded underwear or do you have implants?”

    Me: “Wow…no. My butt is real, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I was just wondering, because it seems too big and perfect to be real! You go girl!”

    Me: “Thanks…”


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