Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (2,143 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    This iPhone Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

    | Cedar Park, TX, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m putting up items in the electronics section at my store. A small child is playing with a phone on display. The mother notices, grabs the phone, and puts it down.)

    Mother: “Son, don’t play with that!”

    Son: “Why not?”

    Mother: “You’re not smart, so you don’t need a smartphone!”

    The Cannabis Chronicles

    | Hilo, HI, USA | Health & Body, Technology

    Customer: “I need an auxiliary cable and a USB cord.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem.”

    (I take the customer to where the USB cords are and hand him the one he wants. He puts it under his arm and we continue over to where the aux cables are.)

    Me: “All right, and here’s your cable. Is there anything else that I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need a USB cord.”

    Me: “Like the one under your arm?”

    (The customer looks down and seems shocked to be holding the cord.)

    Customer: “Woah! Must be all that weed I smoke!”

    Let’s Address How You’re Even Dressing Yourself

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer in her mid-30s approaches me. Note that we use the same standard sizing that is commonly found in other clothing stores.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “What size am I?”

    Me: “Well, what size clothes are you wearing right now?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”

    Me: “Well, why don’t we get you a size that looks right and you try those on?”

    Customer: “And then what?”

    Me: “If they’re too big, then you try on the size that’s smaller until you find the right one.”

    Customer: “Great idea. Thank you!”

    Fractional Intelligence

    | Texas, USA | Math & Science

    Customer: “I need to know the height of this refrigerator.”

    Me: “Sure, it’s 69 3/4 in.”

    Customer: “Is 3/4 more or less than a half?”

    Me: “It’s slightly more.”

    Customer: “No, that can’t be right!”

    Language That Belongs In The Toilet

    | Apple Valley, MN, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any a** wipe?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “You know, a** wipe?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Toilet paper?”

    Me: “Oh! Aisle 6.”

    (The customer smiles and leaves. I’m from the area, so I can confirm that “a** wipe” isn’t a regional term for toilet paper!)

    Page 170/419First...168169170171172...Last