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    Sugar And Spice, Although Brains Might Be Nice

    | Pickering, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (The store I work in is a store full of little girls’ accessories. With headbands, nail polish, and necklaces, it’s fairly obvious this is a store for little girls.)

    Me: “Hey there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have any little girls accessories?”

    Me: “You’re in the right place.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! Where would I find them?”

    Me: *gestures* “Anywhere in the store.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “The whole store is full of little girls’ accessories. That’s what [store] is all about.”

    Customer: *somewhat ditzy* “Oh. Okay! Thank you. Goodbye!”

    (I watch as the customer prances off into the mall and goes straight into another girls accessory store.)

    Coworker: “Wow.”

    Them’s The Kakes

    | Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

    (The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

    Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

    Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

    Additional Charge For Unlimited Sexism Plan

    | Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Technology

    Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [store name]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “My phone’s not working, and your service is crap.”

    Me: “Well, I’d be more than happy to help you. Sorry for your inconvenience.”

    Customer: “Just fix the d*** thing and stop talking!”

    Me: *shocked* “Yes, sir.”

    (After a few minutes of testing his device, I figure out the problem is that the phone simply has not been charged.)

    Me: “Sir, your phone is dead. It needs to be charged. That’s why you weren’t able to place a call or turn the device on.”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

    Customer: “But you’re a woman!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, last time I checked, I was.”

    Customer: *very condescendingly* “Your place is in the kitchen. I want to speak with a male!”

    Me: *speechless*

    It Never Hurts To Ask…And Ask…And Ask

    , | Ontario, Canada | Technology

    Customer: “I need help finding a cord to plug my printer into my computer. It’s a [printer] and a Mac computer.”

    Me: “Well, all printer cables are universal these days, so I’ll show you where they are.”

    (We go to the cable aisle.)

    Me: “This is the cable you’ll need. It comes in two different lengths.”

    Customer: “This is the one I need?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Just like that?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “You just know this is the cable I need?”

    Me: “Yes, they are all the same.”

    Customer: “How do you know?”

    Me: “Because all the cables are made the same. This square part goes in the printer, and this part goes in your computer.”

    Customer: “And you just know this is the right one?”

    Me: “Yes, there is only one kind.”

    Customer: “And you’re sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How?”

    Me: “Because they are all universal.”

    Customer: “But how do you know that?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Maybe because I work here?”

    Customer: “Well, if this isn’t the right one, I’ll be bringing it back!”

    March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

    In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

    March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

    1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
      Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
    2. When Press Comes To Shove:
      A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
    3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
      Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
    4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
      Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
    5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
      A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.
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