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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Wasting Time To Calm Down

    | Foley, AL, USA | Bad Behavior

    Me: “Customer service, how may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “I need to know when my delivery is coming.”

    Me: “Okay, Do you know if it’s being delivered today?”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that s***, b****! Just ask my d*** name! You’re only going to be delivering to one [Name]! I already talked to the manager because I had problems with your stupid customer service rep yesterday! So stop wasting my d*** time!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. How do you spell your name?”

    Customer: “It’s [Name].”

    Me: “Well, sir. According to my records, you do have a delivery today. The guys will call you and give you a two-hour window.”

    Customer: “And they don’t have the d*** schedule yet?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s an hour before the store even opens. No, they don’t.”

    Customer: “But they will call?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just tell me that instead of asking a bazillion questions? Stupid b****! All you want to do is waste my d*** time!”

    Me: “Well, sir, if you’d answered my first question instead of throwing a tantrum, this call would’ve ended much more quickly. Would you like to speak to my manager?”

    Customer: *click*

    Said With The Breast Intentions

    | Arlington, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I work at a maternity store. I arrive and go behind the counter to clock in. A pregnant customer I have never met is draped over the counter, complaining to my coworker about back pain from her large breasts. She looks at me, glares, and says loudly to my not-large breasts:)

    Customer: “Of course, SOME PEOPLE don’t have that problem!”

    Me: “Thanks for that.”

    Can’t Re-Coup The Plastic

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (It is nearing the end of my shift and so far everybody has been wonderful. A customer comes up to my till, wanting to do multiple transactions. She believes this will get her the best deal with coupons, even though it makes no difference.)

    Me: “I can ring it up all together; it would be easier and faster.”

    Customer: *in a snippy tone* “No! Separate! But you can bag it together.”

    (Not wanting to cause an argument I say nothing else and start ringing her items up, I move to put the first three items into the same bag. It’s a bit snug but still very easy to carry and not at all heavy. But the customer decides to snap at me.)

    Customer: “Would you want your items to be bagged like this?”

    Me: “Yes, I would. I believe in saving plastic.”

    Customer: “I don’t care about saving plastic. Just put it into separate bags.”

    (I do so and continue on with her multiple transactions in silence as I’m a bit upset by her rudeness at this point. I finish up and realize that she did not get the best deal that she could have, so trying to be nice I tell her this.)

    Me: “Just to let you know, if you have three items and they add up to $45 you could use three $5 off coupons instead of three 20% off coupons…”

    Customer: *still incredibly rude* “Do you think I can’t count? I know how to do this. I know what works best.”

    ($5 off $15 is 33% and 20% of anything is only 20%, it appears as if she cannot count.)

    Talking Dirt About The ID

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Underaged

    (I wear glasses, but I am nearsighted, which means I can read things up close but not far away. A man with a self-important smile comes to check out.)

    Me: “ID for the alcohol, please.”

    (He hand it to me with a flourish. It is a very dirty driver’s license. I cannot read nor see the picture or information on it because of all the grime.)

    Me: *squinting*

    Man: “You should put on your glasses! Blind as a bat! They’re hanging around your neck!”

    Me: “I am nearsighted; I can see just fine up close. The reason I can’t read this is because it’s VERY dirty!”

    Everyone Else: *stops and stares at the man*

    Man: *hangs head and quietly pays*

    (The man complained later to the manager, saying that I was rude. Luckily, I was there when he called the manager, and I said ‘for telling the truth?’ and he quickly hung up.)

    Put Yourself In Her Wet Shoes

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (On this particular day it has been raining really heavily. Unfortunately, the shoes I am wearing have holes in them. Thankfully, my house is only over the road. I text my mum asking her to bring me a spare set of socks to wear. This exchange happens just after my mum drops off my socks. Customer #1 comes to my till as I pull off my first sock.)

    Me: *sitting on a stool changing my socks* “I’ll be right with you. I just need to change my socks.”

    Customer #1: “Can’t you get dressed properly before starting work? Seriously, this is unacceptable behaviour.”

    Me: “Sir, I apologise. I was dressed before I left but the soles of my shoes have holes in them so my socks got wet.  I am changing them as I cannot work with wet socks.”

    (Customer #2 has walked over as I say this.)

    Customer #1: “What do you mean your feet got wet? There are no puddles in this store. You’re just lazy.”

    (I finish changing and start to scan his shopping as he yells about how unacceptable my behaviour is and that I’m lazy. Customer #2 taps the other customer on the shoulder.)

    Customer #2: “I was just wondering did you notice how wet it was outside?”

    Customer #1: *rolls eyes* “Of course, it’s raining. It would be wet outside.”

    Customer #2: “That’s why this young lady had to change her socks. She already explained that her shoes have holes. Or did you think she lives in the shop?”

    Customer #1: *goes bright red and doesn’t say anything else*

    (I smiled at the second customer and thanked him for being so helpful.)

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