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    Sorry Doesn’t Seem To Be The Hardest Word

    | AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m ringing up a customer and giving her her bags. I forget to give her the light jacket she bought and don’t notice until she drives off. Hoping she’ll come back, I put it next to myself for safe-keeping and keep checking customers. Twenty minutes later, she returns.)

    Customer: “Where’s my jacket?!”

    Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *I give her back the jacket* “I’m sorry about the inconvenience, I—”

    Customer: “You should be ASHAMED of yourself! This is very poor service!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am—”

    Customer: “I had to get out of my car, bring in my things, see my jacket missing, get my walker, get BACK in my car, and drive all the way back here, and it was very difficult! What’s your name? I’m calling corporate about you, and they’re gonna write you up!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about—”

    Customer: *wry laughter* “Oh, and of course, you never ONCE said sorry!”

    Me: “But I, just— I’m very sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah, you apologize NOW, after I TELL you to!”

    (I return to my line, shaken and a little upset, and continue ringing up the customer I was helping earlier, who witnessed the whole thing.)

    Next Customer: “But you said you were sorry FOUR times. I counted!”

    The Warranty Comes Warranted, Part 2

    , | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I’m selling a customer an iPad and introducing a new warranty which covers accidental damage, meaning you can replace your iPad for $50 rather than buying a whole new one. It’s a fantastic deal and, as the customer in question is buying the iPad for his eight-year-old daughter and wants the most expensive model, I am trying to convince him that the extra $99 for it is really worth it.)

    Me: “Sir, just to check, you’re getting this for your daughter, you said?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I mean, we’ll use it too, but it’s mostly for her.”

    Me: “I see. In that case, you really want to consider getting the extra warranty.”

    Customer: “But it comes with one that covers it for a year, right?”

    Me: “Yes, but it doesn’t cover accidental damage. If she accidentally drops it and cracks the screen, it’ll cost full price to replace without the warranty. With the warranty, it’s only $50 to replace it.”

    Customer: *considers it for a moment, then shakes his head* “Nah, we’ll be okay. I’ll tell her to be real careful.”

    Me: *gesturing to a nearby table where we have iPads set up for kids to play with* “Sir, I’m sure your daughter is really careful with her toys, but iPads are really fragile and kids sometimes forget they’re not as hardy as their other things.”

    (In perfect timing, a kid at the table then starts banging the iPad on the table hard. I grimace and the customer cringes slightly.)

    Customer: “Err, no, no. It’s okay. We’ll be careful.”

    (I get him to at least buy a screen cover and ring him up. He’s excited and happy at the end, so I figure everything’s all right and hopefully his daughter is as careful as he says she is. The next day, however, I see him come in with the iPad, case, and several small glass shards from the broken screen in a Ziploc bag. He sees me on his way to the tech counter and sheepishly holds up the bag.)

    Customer: “I guess you were right. I’ll get the warranty this time…”

    Related:
    The Warranty Comes Warranted

    Two Sides Of The Same Very Reasonable Coin

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (Two different customers approach me at the same time to ask for help.)

    Customers #1 & #2: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

    (I soon realize that the customers have no relation to each other, as they ask me for help in two completely different departments.)

    Me: “Hmm, how should I do this? Who do I help first?”

    (Judging by their body language, neither customer wants to back down. So I reach into my pocket and pull out a coin.)

    Me: “All right, we’ll do it this way. Heads or tails?”

    Customer #1: “Heads!”

    Customer #2: “Guess that makes me tails, then.”

    (I flip the coin, and it lands tails.)

    Customer #2: “Yes!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go. And sir, I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done with her.”

    Customer #1: “Fair enough.”

    (I wish more customers were that easy to deal with!)

    Ordering In All Colors But Only Seeing Red

    | South Africa | Crazy Requests

    (I am taking a large stationery order for an insurance office over the phone. The call is already into its fifteenth minute:)

    Customer: “Do you have any of those things that hold little squares of paper?”

    Me: “Desk cubes? Yes, sure we do.”

    Customer: “What colour do they come in?”

    Me: “Black, dark blue, burgundy, or dark green.”

    Customer: “Do you have pink?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we only have them in black, dark blue, burgundy, or dark green.”

    Customer: “What about a really jazzy bright green?”

    Me: “As far as greens go, we only have dark green, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Why do they only make them in four colours?”

    Me: “I don’t know, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What about yellow, then?”

    Me: *head on desk*

    (The next item she ordered was paper-clips, and you can bet we had the same conversation about those, too.)

    Unharmonious Harmonica

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a musical instrument store. On our counters we have small grab-and-go items, including mini harmonicas that some people purchase as pendants for jewelry but also work as an instrument. I have just rung up Customer #1 and am in the middle of ringing Customer #2 when Customer #1 takes one of the harmonicas and starts blowing through it.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir.Were you planning on purchasing that today?”

    Customer #1: “Of course not. I don’t play harmonica.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but now that you have used that one I have to ask you to buy it.”

    Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous. I was just testing it out.”

    Me: “I’m sorry but it’s for sanitary reasons. I cannot sell that now that you have used it. These are not a demo product.”

    Customer #1: “There’s no sign. Why shouldn’t I try it? I’m not buying that. I don’t need it.”

    Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry, but now that you’ve put your mouth on it I can’t sell it to anyone else. Would you buy something that required you to put your mouth on it knowing someone else had as well?

    Customer #1: “I don’t have a problem with that.”

    Customer #2: “Well, I do. What if I bought that for my daughter and you had some kind of herpes or something?”

    Customer #1: “Whatever. I’m leaving and never coming back to this f****** store again. No one has ever told me before I couldn’t try them.”

    (Just before he walked away he threw the harmonica he had tried back in the bowl and shook it so I wouldn’t be able to tell which one he had his mouth on. I then had to damage out the whole lot.)


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