• Done With You
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Unable To Make-Up

    | Concord, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I have recently quit my job and am working the cash register on my last scheduled day. I’ve made it to my last half hour without incident. At the time, the shift supervisor and I are the only people on the floor as our coworker is on lunch. A middle-aged customer walks up to my register, cuts in front of a regular customer, and throws a plastic bag onto the counter.)

    Customer: “This makeup I bought is terrible. I hate it. It doesn’t bring out my eyelashes like it should and I want you to do something about it.”

    Me: “Err, I can definitely give you a refund if you’re unhappy with the product.”

    (I open the plastic bag to find that not only does she not have a receipt, but she also doesn’t have the original packing, which means the product doesn’t have the necessary bar code.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I do require both the receipt and the original packaging. Do you happen to have either of those?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t! I want my money back!”

    Me: “I can give you a store gift card with the amount of the refund, but without the bar code I can’t go any further with this. I’ll call my supervisor and have her find the product packaging.”

    (I call my supervisor who leaves to find the product on the shelf. We have a large cosmetics section, so this takes a few minutes. The line is growing longer and people are beginning to stare at me expectantly.)

    Me: “Ma’am, would it be okay if I helped the customers in line behind you? It will take a few minutes for my supervisor to find the correct product.”

    Customer: *completely ignoring the fact that she had cut to the front of the line* “I was here first and you will help me first!”

    (My regular customer, an older woman, gives me a knowing nod. Just then my supervisor returns and hands me the product.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe your store is so unorganized!” *continues ranting as I complete the return*

    (I try my best to ignore the rudeness spilling from her mouth, but it becomes increasingly difficult. I finish her return as best I can.)

    Me: “If I could just have you sign the return slip ma’am.” *hands her a pen*

    Customer: “I am NOT signing anything! It’s YOUR fault, anyway! Your customer service skills are terrible, your products are terrible, and I’m never shopping here again!”

    (At this point the customer throws the pen at me and hits me directly in my eye. I lose my cool, but before I can act my regular customer steps up.)

    Regular: “Listen here, lady. I’ve watched you mistreat this young man for the last 5 minutes. Verbal assault is one thing, but now you’ve physically assaulted him. I have half a mind to call the police, but you’re a special case and should be dealt with accordingly.”

    (To my complete surprise, my regular begins beating the customer with her purse and runs her out of the store. As the rude woman leaves, my regular follows her out and calls after her.)

    Regular: “Make-up can’t fix ugly like yours, honey!”

    Doesn’t Quite Swear By That DVD Player

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work at a store that doesn’t do refunds. If a customer wants to return an item, we can only offer to exchange it for the exact same item, or give store credit to put towards a new purchase.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this DVD player. It no longer works.”

    Me: “Sure. Would you like to do a straight exchange, or would you like a store credit?”

    Customer: “Straight exchange, please. I really like this DVD player, and I’d really like another one like it.”

    Me: “All right, just let me see if we have any in stock.”

    (I do a search on my computer, and we show zero in stock. I even check with the stockroom staff to verify this.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid to say this, but we no longer have this DVD player in stock.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “I’m absolutely sure. There aren’t any on the shelves, the computer says we have zero, and there aren’t any in the back. We’re all tapped out, I’m afraid.”

    Customer: “Aw, s***!”

    (Both the customer and I notice that there’s a small child next to us, and he heard the whole thing.)

    Customer: “Uh, I mean poo-poo caca. Aw, poo-poo caca, I can’t believe you ran out of my favorite DVD player. Can you check to see if any other locations might still have it? I’m sorry to ask you this, but I really like this DVD player.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Which location is the nearest to you?”

    Customer: “Can you try [Location #1]?”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (I dial the number to Location #1 to make my inquiry.)

    Me: “I just got off the phone with [Location #1]. They don’t have it either.”

    Customer: “Poo-poo caca. Can you try [Location #2]?”

    (I phone up Location #2.)

    Me: “They don’t have it either.”

    Customer: “Aw, poo-poo caca. Can you try [Location #3]?”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (This went on for four more locations, and they all don’t have the very specific DVD player that my customer is looking for. Every time I told him the bad news, he responded with “poo-poo caca.”)

    Return Of The Returner

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes in, carrying no bags, and heads straight for the return desk.)

    Customer: “Hello, I need to return this coat.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what coat?”

    (The customer takes off the coat she’s wearing and dumps it on the counter.)

    Customer: “This coat! I can’t wear it anymore! I need a new one!”

    Me: “All right, do you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    (The receipt she comes up with is from November. It’s January now. But she has the receipt, so I have to process the return.)

    Me: “All right, that’s [price].”

    Customer: “No, no! It’s [higher price].”

    Me: “No, you got a ten percent discount when you bought it.”

    Customer: “That wasn’t on the coat! It was on everything else!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the ten percent came off the whole order.”

    Customer: “No, I called someone yesterday, and they said I could get the whole amount. I have to go. Just ring it up for the whole amount.”

    Me: “Do you know who you spoke to?”

    Customer: “No. A manager.”

    (I call the supervisor over, and he authorizes the return without the ten percent.)

    Customer: “Now I want the ten percent off the one I buy. I’ll be right back.”

    (She returns with another coat that’s more money.)

    Me: “And the difference is [amount].”

    Customer: “What? Did you take the ten percent?”

    Me: “I can’t take the ten percent off because it’s a one-time discount.”

    Customer: “The manager told me I could do that!”

    Supervisor: “Do you know which manager you spoke to? What was his name?”

    Customer: “He didn’t give me his name. I’ve got to go. Can we just ring this up?”

    (Supervisor authorizes the discount again, eager to be rid of this woman. Little did we know…)

    Me: “Wow, that was weird.”

    (Five minutes later, the customer comes back, shedding her new coat and dropping it on the counter.)

    Customer: “I can’t wear this! It’s too big! Give me the money back, and I’ll go get another one!”

    (At this point, the supervisor took over and rang her himself.)

    Customer: “You’re sure it looks all right now?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s very nice.”

    Customer: “It’s not too big?”

    Me: “No, it looks good on you.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (The customer leaves, and I breathe a sigh of relief. A few minutes later, she came back.)

    Customer: “This is ripped!” *she shows us a minuscule tear in the cuff* “I can’t wear it like this! Take some money off!”

    Supervisor: “This item is final clearance. I can’t mark it down any further.”

    Customer: “It’s torn! I have to take it to a tailor now! Give me a discount!”

    Supervisor: “I physically can’t do it. The system won’t allow me to mark down lower than the final clearance price.”

    Customer: “But it’s damaged goods! Would you buy this like this?”

    Supervisor: “It’s marked down sixty percent off the original price. That’s the lowest the system will let me go.”

    Customer: “I can return this, if it costs to much to repair?”

    Supervisor: “Yes, just save your receipt.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (The customer finally leaves, and for the rest of the evening, I was terrified she’d come back again!)

    A Service To Customer Service

    , | Roseville, CA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (It is my last day of work because I am leaving in order to attend an out-of-state university. One of my regular customers knows this and has promised to come and see me before I leave, but my shift is about to end and I still haven’t seen her. About a half hour before I have to leave she comes in carrying a large shopping bag.)

    Customer: “[My Name]! I’m glad I caught you.”

    Me: “Same here! I was hoping you’d come in and was worried when you didn’t.”

    Customer: “I can’t stay very long but I wanted to give you this.”

    (She reaches into the bag, pulls out a box of chocolates from a well known candy store, and hands it to me.)

    Customer: “You’ve always been so nice to me and given me the greatest customer service. I’m going to miss you! Here, take my phone number and call me when you come back.”

    (I thanked her profusely, took the candy, and gave her my number. There were tears in my eyes the whole time. I’ve had many customers throughout my work experience – some especially good and some especially terrible – but she will always stick in my mind as one of the best.)

    Entitled And Newly Titled

    , | Mankato, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

    (My mother and I are deciding on a gift to buy for a sick relative. I wander away so she can check out but a few minutes later she comes over to me, empty handed and confused.)

    Mother: “I was at the register about to buy it, but a woman standing next to me looked over and grabbed it out of my hands!”

    Me: “You’re kidding! Did she ask for it?”

    Mother: “No! She just grabbed it and handed it to the cashier. And the cashier rang her up!”

    Me: “Mom, there’s a phrase that my friends and I use. It makes you feel a bit better sometimes.”

    Mother: “Okay…” *keep in mind, she is an older and very mild mannered woman*

    Me: “Entitlement b****!”

    Mother: *happily and with great diction* “Entitlement b****!”

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