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    Hot On The Cent

    | Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

    Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

    Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

    Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

    Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should i go get more?”

    Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

    Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

    Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

    (She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)

    Left Holding The Bag

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Theme Of The Month

    (Many of our customers bring their own bags for their purchases, so we always ask if they need a bag before we start putting their purchases into one. A customer walks up to the register.)

    Customer: “Just these today, please.”

    Me: “Sure. This is a popular range! I love it, too. Do you need a bag for these?”

    Customer: *sounding annoyed* “No, I said just these! I don’t want anything else!”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t trying to sell you anything. I meant something to carry them in: a free bag, or did you bring your own?”

    Customer: *sighing and rolling her eyes* “I said nothing else! Just these.”

    Me: “Okay, just checking. I thought you’d misheard me. It’s fantastic so many people these days are bringing their own to help save the environment.”

    Customer: “Yes…”

    Me: “There’s all sorts of ones that fold up so small now; it’s best to ask as they’re often hidden away. My friend has one that folds up into a strawberry key-ring.”

    Customer: “Okay…”

    (I finish scanning the items and process the payment. The customer stares blankly at me.)

    Me: “Um, you did say you wanted to put them in your bag?”

    Customer: “I don’t have a bag. Don’t you have one?”

    Me: “Sure. Sorry, I thought you said you had one. That’s what I was asking you about when you came up to the register.”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t listening. I suppose you get that a lot…”

    Selling Out Is Selling Out

    | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

    Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    (At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

    Background: “What’s wrong?”

    Caller: “They don’t have any.”

    Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

    Caller: “They sold out.”

    Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

    Caller: “Why did the- What?”

    (He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

    Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

    Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

    Background: “ALL of them?”

    Caller: “YES!”

    Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

    (This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)