Only Has Half A Brain

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work at a store that also sells plants and flowers in the spring and summer. A customer comes to my till and brings me three packages of flowers that are always packaged in packs of twelve. I scan all three of them.)

Customer: “How much are the yellow ones?”

Me: “They are $5, ma’am.”

Customer: “But that’s the regular price for twelve of them. I only need six; that’s why I only brought half the package.”

Me: “So you broke a package of twelve in half because you only want six? Unfortunately, we only sell them in packages of twelve, so even if you only get half of it, there is only one barcode I can scan… and it comes up to 5.97.”

Customer: *sighs loudly* “BUT I ONLY NEED SIX! Get your manager out here. He needs to have a barcode you can scan for only half of these flowers. Or give me half off because I’m not buying twelve. I only need six.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sure they don’t have a barcode for something that is sold as a package of twelve but I’ll get someone to verify that.”

(I go to another cashier and ask, in front of the customer, if there is anything we can do for her.)

Other Cashier: “Unfortunately they are sold in packages of twelve. We can’t sell half of them to you and sell it for half price simply because you don’t need the other six.”

Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m forced to pay for something I don’t need. Forget it, I don’t want them at all.”

Giving Them A Minor Earful

| IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work in an alternative store that sells body jewelry and such. My earlobes are stretched to about the size of a nickel. A woman and her daughter come in to the store.)

Daughter: “Mom, I want to stretch my earlobes like that girl.”

Mom: “Absolutely not! Those look disgusting. You’re not ruining your body like her.”

Me: *standing five feet away* “Well, one pro to ear stretching is that it does not affect your hearing at all… Just so you know.”

Mom: *to daughter* “Well, maybe you can have really small ones.”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4

| New Zealand | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(My manager is serving a customer who has asked for a discount.)

Manager: “Sure, I can give you 10% off.”

Customer: “Hmm, what about 15%?”

Manager: *feeling generous* “Yeah, I suppose I could give you 15% off.”

Customer: “What about 20%?”

Manager: “20% is okay.”

Customer: “30%?”

Manager: “15%.”

Customer: “30%?”

Manager: “10%.”

Customer: “What do you mean 10%? You already said I could have 20%.”

Manager: “Which you asked for and I agreed but you upped it; you can either take the 10% now or my next offer.”

Customer: “Hmmm, I’ll take the next offer then.”

Manager: “Zero percent discount it is, then.”

Customer: “What? You can’t do that!”

Manager: “I just did.”

You Just Weeded Yourself Out, Part 2

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(My coworker is cleaning out the fitting room and finds a fairly generous bag of weed. Later in the day the police stop by in the back room and are picking it up. Meanwhile on the floor…)

Customer: “Hey, I left a bag here earlier.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of bag?”

Customer: “Just a ziploc bag with some… cooking herbs…”

Me: “Uh. Well, my coworker did find a bag matching that description earlier.”

Customer: “Can I have it back?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What? Why not! You guys are stealing my… herbs. I’m a… chef… I need those!”

Me: “Well, I can go tell the police officers in the back that the owner of the marijuana came back if you would like.”

(The customer turned around and ran right out of the store.)

Related:
You Just Weeded Yourself Out

Giving That Request The Boot

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I manage a retail clothing store and I am at the counter when a mother and daughter walk up with a pair of our boots in the box to return.)

Me: “Hi, ladies, what can I help you with?”

Daughter: “Yes, I talked to the other manager, [My Assistant], yesterday about the studs coming off my boots. She said I could re-order them.”

Me: “Absolutely! I am sorry they are falling apart.”

(I try and see if the boot can be ordered, since the boots launched some time ago.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but the boots are unavailable for re-order. I would be more than happy to return them for you or you can swap it for whatever you like.”

Mother: “But she wants the boots. Can’t you give us something since they can’t be ordered?”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s exactly what I am trying to do. I am more than willing to return them or exchange them for whatever your daughter would like.”

Mother: “But she wants the boots. You can’t give us anything?”

Me: “So let me get this correct: you would like me to give you something for free AND let you keep the boots?”

Daughter: *getting frustrated with the audacity of her mother asking for such a ridiculous request* “No, it’s okay… I’ll keep the boots.” *mumbles to her mother* “Let’s go, mom.”

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