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  • Just Won’t Leave On Christmas Eve

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s Christmas Eve at 5:30. I just finished closing registers and am doing final checks while my associate straightens out some products. All of a sudden there is a loud banging on the door.)

    Customer: “How can you be closed? It’s Christmas Eve and I need a gift card now!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. We have been closed for almost a half hour.”

    Customer: “But I need a gift card! Can I slide you money through the crack in the door?” *takes out money* “See?! Look! It slides through.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m sorry our registers are closed. If you need a gift card that badly try the grocery store three stores down.”

    Customer: “But… but…”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I told you, we are closed. We want to spend the holiday with our family. So you can try the grocery store as they sell our gift cards in a $25 denominations.”

    (I turned around to finish my checks and the customer left, defeated.)

    Take Your Layaway Faraway

    | Henderson, KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working layaway around Christmas at a very popular retail store. Our policy is if you put something in layaway, we need your license. That way if you decide to take it out and get your money back, we know it’s you and not just a random person pretending to be you. A lady comes in one day wanted to cancel her layaway.)

    Me: “Hello.”

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to cancel my layaway.”

    Me: “All right, can I have your name and your license?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my license, but here’s my name.” *gives name*

    Me: “Okay, but ma’am, I’m going to need your license so you can prove who you are.”

    Customer: “Why do you need my personal information for such a stupid thing? I was never told about this!”

    Me: “It is company policy to tell each customer that to cancel, pay, or pick up their layaway, they must show their license. It is also written on our sign right here.”

    (I point the large sign next to her that has in bold letters that you need your license during each layaway transaction.)

    Customer: “You just put that there! I saw you do it! That was never there until just now!”

    (The lady storms off and comes back with an older lady and two kids. The older lady steps up to the counter and hands me her license.)

    Older Customer: “I’m her mom. Here is my license. She lives with me.”

    (I look up their address in the computer, and it doesn’t show up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your address isn’t showing up in the system.”

    Customer: “Well, why do you need my license anyway?! It’s such a stupid idea!”

    Me: “How would you feel if, a few days before Christmas, you come to pick up your layaway and realize it’s not there, and all your money that you put into it was also gone?”

    Customer: “That would be the worst thing ever and I’d probably sue the company for giving my things and money to someone else!”

    Me: “That is the reason for us asking for the license.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my license with me, but you have my name. That should be enough.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give it to you, or your mom.”

    Customer: “YOU ARE RUINING MY GRANDCHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS!”

    (She harshly motions to the kids, who actually seem embarrassed about the scene that is unfolding. The two women start to storm off.)

    Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you too, b****!”

    Can’t See The Closing Time For The Christmas Trees

    | Lake Havasu City, AZ, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s December first, and exactly at closing time, a couple wanders in:)

    Male Customer: *after hearing the closing announcement on the loudspeaker* “You’re closed?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Female Customer: “You CAN’T be closed! We NEED a live Christmas tree!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s no one in the garden department who can operate the chainsaw, but we open at six am and—”

    Female Customer: “This is g****** stupid! It’s f****** Christmas time! Do your f****** job and find someone to help us, right now!”

    (I went to find my manager and to clock out. I don’t know if they got their Christmas tree but I know who made Santa’s naughty list this year!)

    Good Nature Has Bowed Out

    | TX, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I have a seasonal job over the Christmas holidays at a store that sells decorations. The store normally has pretty cheap items for sale but at the time there was a promotion where all Christmas items were half off. However there was a policy where if an item was missing parts or damaged it couldn’t be discounted at the till, it had to have a special sticker put on it by a floor worker. A woman comes up to my till with just a set of what’s supposed to be 2 bows but only has one.)

    Customer: “Hey I really like this set of bows but it’s only got one even though it’s supposed to be a set of two. Can I get a discount?”

    Me: “No, sorry. It has to be marked down as damaged while on the floor. But with the Christmas discount it’s only $2.”

    Customer: “But there’s only one! It should be discounted even further.”

    Me: “Well, is there another set of those? That way you can get two bows like you’re supposed to.”

    Customer: “No, this was the only one I saw. Why can’t you just discount it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have that ability.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “This is absolutely ridiculous. Fine, I’ll just leave it.”

    (She handed me the rest of her items and I rang them up. After I finished bagging them up and handed them to her, she grabbed the bow and hurried out before I could stop her. I told my manager about it but she was already long gone. The kicker? The next day I saw several of the exact same set of bows that were a complete set!)

    A Slight Blip On The Double-Dip

    , | Baltimore ,MD, USA | Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer comes into the store and orders a large amount of building supplies to build a shed. She is helped and checked out by me. Her brother comes for the items a few hours later, and I load them up. She calls back the next day.)

    Customer: “Hello. I’m coming to pick up my order today, and just want to make sure it’s ready.”

    Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. What is the name and phone number attached to the order? ”

    Customer: “It’s [Name] and [phone number].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it appears your order was already picked up by your brother.”

    Customer: “What? My brother? I don’t have a brother. Someone stole my merchandise!”

    (When she placed her order with me, she told me her brother’s name and that he would be picking it up. This was listed on her order at the time of purchase by me.)

    Me: “Hmm. No brother?”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager! I’m an only child!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not going to do that for you.”

    Customer: “What…?”

    Me: “See, when I first answered the phone I stated my name. When running this double dip scam in the future, please note the name of the person you’re dealing with. I not only helped you with the purchase and rang you up. I also loaded your brother’s truck with the merchandise. [Brother’s Name]. I also checked his id, first and last name. I hope this is all clear as I would hate to repeat myself and waste any more of my time.”

    Customer: “I… what is your name?!”

    Me: “We here at [Store] thank you for your business and your continued support. Please do not hesitate to shop again with us. And can you do me a favor?”

    Customer: “…what?”

    Me: “Have a lovely day.”

    (Her brother returned the next day to return the merchandise. He was denied.)

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