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    Dishing Out The Cold Truth

    | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (It’s been snowing steadily all day. Still, customers come to shop for electronics and ask stupid questions.)

    Customer: “I bought [Satellite TV Service] here, but I’m having trouble with it. Can you help?”

    Me: “I usually handle computer questions, not TV questions, but I can try. What’s going on?”

    Customer: “The channels just aren’t coming through right. They’re all pixelated, and they keep cutting out, and sometimes there’s nothing to see or hear at all.”

    Me: “That’s not good. When did it start?”

    Customer: “This morning.”

    Me: “I haven’t heard of any problems from [Satellite TV Provider]. I’m guessing that it has something to do with the snowstorm. The snow could be interfering with your signal, especially if some has accumulated in the dish of your receiver.”

    Customer: “Can you check?”

    Me: “Can I check what?”

    Customer: “Can you get on your computer and check to see if I have snow on my dish?”

    Me: “…no, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “The store computers don’t have access to information about whether a person’s satellite dish has snow in it. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, how can I find out?”

    Me: “You could try going home and looking at it…”

    Not Showing Growth As A Person

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I am a male with long hair. Sometimes when I feel like being a smart-a**, most of the time really, I end up having this conversation with other long haired men, in this case being a worker at a retail place. People tend to respond the same way, so it usually plays out the same way.)

    Me: “That long hair makes you look like a girl.”

    (The clerks features rapidly shift to annoyance, then confusion when they see my long hair, then anger.)

    Clerk: “Well, YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl, too!”

    Me: “No. No, it doesn’t. You see *points* I have a beard. So, my long hair makes me look look a dumba**. YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl.”

    Clerk: *stunned*

    Me: “Why don’t you have a beard?”

    The Currency Of Understanding

    , | Germany | Bizarre, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (The year is 2010. The euro has been introduced as a common currency throughout Europe in 2002. An elderly lady approaches me, picks some items, and wants to pay.)

    Me: “That is 28.50.”

    Elderly Lady: “Oh, so little? Are you sure?”

    (I notice her picking out some old Austrian schillings from her purse.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. You can’t pay with those here; this is outdated currency.”

    Elderly Lady: “No, no! I have always paid with them!” *picks out some more* “Look, I have money!”

    Me: “Lady, I’m sure you have enough, but… I simply cannot accept Austrian schillings. We have the EURO.”

    Elderly Lady: “Yes, yes, I understand. You want deutschmarks? I don’t have any deutschmarks. Schillings, you take?”

    Me: *suddenly understanding* “Yes, ma’am. That would be… 280 schillings, please.”

    (I pack her things, she hands me 250 old Austrian schillings, but I go with it. She seems to have disappeared with her travel group, when a younger lady, also speaking Austrian dialect, turns up.)

    Younger Lady: “Hey, there. Did my grandmother bother you?”

    Me: “What grandmother? Do you mean…”

    Younger Lady: “Yeah, my granny. Did she try to pay with schillings?”

    Me: “In fact, she did. And I sold her something.”

    Younger Lady: “Well, you shouldn’t have sold her anything. What’s her bill?”

    Me: “28.50; but as I said, she already paid. I took her schillings. Maybe I can exchange them for something.”

    Younger Lady: “No! Give them back to me. She’ll be mad about not having them! How much did you say?”

    Me: “€28.50.”

    Younger Lady: *hands me over two 20 Euro bills* “Keep it, for goodness’ sake!”

    Me: “No way, ma’am. That’s far too much.”

    Younger Lady: “Well, then give me 10 back.”

    Me: “Fair enough; thank you.”

    (The rest of the day, I wondered why my supply of ‘free’ coffee and food worked so fine. Later on, I realized that the young lady had left some money at every booth near mine because I was so friendly to her grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s, which I didn’t realize immediately. Thank you, ladies, you were amazing!)

    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 3

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a popular pharmacy/retail chain. We have a rewards card that can be linked to a customer’s online account or their mobile app that gives them the ability to send coupons directly to their card electronically, eliminating the need for paper coupons. The customer simply scans their card at check out and their coupons will appear to me, the cashier, and I can put them in right from there.)

    Customer: “I was supposed to have a 25% coupon on there.”

    (No coupon popped up at the end of the transaction, meaning the coupon either expired, or she did not complete the sending process.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but a coupon didn’t pop up.”

    Customer: *exasperated sigh, giving me a look of disgust* “Well, that SUCKS.”

    Me: “I know, Sorry about that. The new coupon system can be a pain in the neck. Do you have the coupon anywhere I can see so I can—”

    Customer: *cutting me off in a very rude tone* “You know what? Just take it! This f****** sucks!”

    (The customer then flung the nail polish at my chest and stormed out of the store!)

    Related:
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 2
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount

    Human Kindness Is A Simple Formula

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (A couple with a small child comes up to my register with a WIC transaction, which goes through without a problem until…)

    Me: “I am sorry but your formula didn’t go through.”

    (The couple is buying nine containers of formula at around $18 each.)

    Mother: What? Let me see.

    (I show them the slip and the starting balance, which shows no formula was offered through the program.)

    Father: “Great… and it’s Sunday so we can’t call them. Well, take off all but one and we’ll talk to them tomorrow.”

    (I nod and take allow them to purchase just the one can of formula with the rest of their items.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that but h—”

    (At this moment the next customers in line, both 20ish year old females cut in.)

    Female #1: *handing me $20* “I’ll buy one of them.”

    Mother: *shocked* “Y… you don’t have—”

    Female #2: *doing the same* “We had parents that were just like you; please allow us to help.”

    Mother: *nearly to tears* “N… no, please don’t.”

    (Eventually, the pair got the mother to the accept the gifts, and when the pair was done with their regular purchases, I still couldn’t believe what happened and that there were still people who believed in the simple formula of human kindness!)

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