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    I’m Falling To Pieces

    , | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

    (We have a survey that pops up randomly when receipts print out. The customers can go to a website and receive a code for a free sandwich upon completion of the survey. We only accept receipts with the codes written on it.)

    Me: “Do you have a coupon for me, sir?”

    Customer: *hands me coupon* “I’d like to redeem my free sandwich.”

    Me: *looks at coupon* “Sir, there is no code on this receipt. I cannot accept this coupon.”

    (The customer rips it out of my hand, tears it up into several pieces and throws it on the floorboard.)

    Friend: “We’ll just pay for the sandwich, then.”

    (Still infuriated, the customer picks the receipt pieces back off the floorboard and continues to rip them into smaller pieces, throwing them back on the ground.)

    Me: “Have a great day!”

    Knowing Is Half The Battle

    | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m a server in my restaurant. The Sunday lunch crowd is usually the elderly. An older gentleman and his wife are seated, and I take their drink order.)

    Me: “Would you like anything else to drink besides water?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a drink.”

    Me: “Okay, what kind?”

    (He doesn’t respond and looks at me for a while.)

    Me: “We have canned soda: Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew, Sunkist, iced tea, hot tea, coffee–”

    Customer: “Yes, I want a can.”

    Me: “Um, I…” *smile* “Which one?”

    (He stares at me for a good while, like I should know better. Finally, his wife chimes in.)

    Wife: “He’d like a Coke, please.”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2

    | Fresno, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am working as the host at a family restaurant. It’s particularly busy night, so I am taking down names on the wait list.)

    Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

    Customer: “It’s going to be 6 with 2 kids.”

    Me: “So, a total of 6 people?”

    Customer: “No, 8!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Okay, a total of 8. I got you down.”

    (Their party has to wait for around 30 minutes to be seated. Right after we seat them, the woman comes back up to the front.)

    Customer: “Um, excuse me! How do you expect us to fit at this table?!”

    Me: “Well, that table can usually hold 8 people. It seats four on one side, and four on the other.”

    Customer: “But we have 13 people!”

    Me: “Ma’am, when I asked you the total amount of people, you told me 8.”

    Customer: “No, I told you 8 adults and 3 children!”

    Me: “But that only adds up to 11–”

    Customer: “That doesn’t matter! We can’t fit!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Can’t Spell Without Without With, Part 2

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

    (This takes place while the customer is ordering at the drive-through speaker.)

    Customer: “I want a [popular combo].”

    Me: “What kind of drink?”

    Customer: “No drink.”

    Me: “Is that all?”

    Customer: “No, I also want a Dr. Pepper on the side.”

    Related:
    Can’t Spell Without Without With

    No Sudden Gender Changes, Please

    , | Washington, USA | Food & Drink

    (Another employee and I are working the drive-thru and we both are able to talk to customers at the speaker box.)

    Male coworker: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ll take a number two and a number seven.”

    (At this point, my coworker has to talk to another customer, so I finish talking to the customer. I am a woman.)

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

    Customer: “Wh-What happened to the MAN I was talking to?”

    Me: “I’m sorry… he was helping another customer for a moment. Did you not want to talk to me?”

    Customer: “That’s just rude and confusing for the customer!”


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