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July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Reaching Breaking Point

| Kahului, HI, USA | Bad Behavior

(I’m taking a half-hour break. Due to company policy, I am not allowed to go back on the clock until a full half-hour has passed. After checking and seeing that I still have another five minutes before I can get back to work, I attempt to go back to the break room when a customer flags me down.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to cash out and go. There’s no one at the register, so can you please take care of it?”

Me:“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’m actually on my break right now, but I can definitely go and grab someone who can do it for you if you’ll just wait a moment.”

Customer: “But it’ll take only a minute. Why can’t you do it?”

Me: “Legally if I’m on my break, I cannot do any work. But as I said, I can get someone quickly who will be more than capable of helping.”

Customer: “That’s fine.”

(I go and retrieve my manager, who is more than happy to go and help them. I return after five minutes to clock back in when I see the customer red-faced and shaking with rage. When she sees me, she points at me and screams.)

Customer: “That’s him! He’s the one who just blew me off! He said he couldn’t help because he was on his break.”

(The manager explains the company policy to her.)

Customer: “I don’t care! I wanted service immediately and he didn’t give it!”

Manager: “So what did you expect him to do, break company policy and get written up with our company?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: “Why?”

Customer: “Because I’m the customer and I’m always right! Now I’m late for my flight back home.”

Me: “So instead of waiting an extra minute for someone else to check you out, you spent the next five complaining when you could have been gone?”

Customer: *pause* “F*** off.”

(The customer then proceeds to storm out. I laugh while my manager gives me a tired look.)

Manager: “Go ahead and take another half hour. It’s on me.”

It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

| Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

(The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

Herd Behavior

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Top

(My mom and I are flying home to California after staying with friends in Colorado. We have had to get up extremely early, and I have had a stressful week after dealing with a new friend. I should also mention I am a brony, meaning I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I am wearing a T-Shirt my best friend got me that says Ponyvengers with five ponies dressed up as the Avengers. We are stopping off to get some juice before we get on the plane home.)

Me: “Hi! I’ll have [fruit drink].”

Mom: “And I’ll have… a small [another drink].”

Cashier: “You got it. Your total is [total].”

(After my mom pays, the cashier walks backwards as he goes to make our drinks. My mom isn’t looking up. He motions to his chest and mouths ‘I love your shirt’. I give him a huge grin and thumbs up.)

Mom: *to me* “Oh! I forgot to get water! Can you go get me some?

Me: “Sure.”

(She hands me some money. I grab two water bottles and put them on the counter, in front of the same cashier.)

Cashier: *smiling widely* “It’s on the house.”

Me: “Oh, wow! Thank you!”

(As my mom and I are walking away with our drinks.)

Mom: “He didn’t let you pay for the drinks?”

Me: “Nope!”

Mom: “Why?”

Me: “Because he’s a fellow brony. It’s an automatic bond between us, even though we’ll probably never see each other again. Bronies care about each other, and since we had already paid for our drinks, he didn’t want to make us pay for anything else.”

Mom: *confused* “Oh… seems odd to me.”

Me: “That’s because you’re not part of the herd.”

UK is OK

| Alabama, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m British, white-skinned, blue/green-eyed, red-haired, Celtic. I’m studying in the U.S. and work at a restaurant part-time. It’s a small-ish town and most people there seem to be quite sweet and any comments on my accent have always been ones of surprise or complimentary.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir and madam, are you ready to order?”

Customer #1: *confused* “I’m sorry, what?”

Me: “Are you ready to order?”

Customer #1: *looks at her husband, confused* “What did she say?”

Customer #2: “Must be a foreigner not bothering to learn English.” *slowly and loudly* “I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU. DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?”

Me: *slowly and loudly* “YES, I DO, SIR. I ASKED IF YOU WERE READY TO ORDER.”

Customer #2: “Oh, this is ridiculous! She doesn’t speak a word of English! Tell you what, all these foreigners are coming into America, taking American jobs from real Americans!”

Customer #1: “Let’s find one who can understand us!”

Me: “I can find someone else to take your order from you, if you’d prefer.”

Customer #2: “Oh, she does speak English now!”

Customer #1: “She was screwing with us the whole time! This is unacceptable! We don’t come here to be made fools of!”

Customer #2: “Stupid foreigners coming in stealing our jobs and screwing up the American way of life!”

Me: “If you’re worried about foreigners coming to America and stealing your livelihood and culture, you can take your complaints down to the nearest Native American reserve, where they will be more than happy to sympathise.”

Customer #2: “How dare you?! You think you can come over here and disrespect the American people like that!”

Customer #1: “We want the manager here now! I’ll have you fired and deported back to your own dirty country!”

Me: “I’ll fetch him now for you.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(Customer #1 & #2 rant excessively at him for employing foreigners who don’t speak English and disrespect Americans.)

Manager: “Well, sorry to burst your bubble there, guys.” *gestures to me* “[My name] here is from the United Kingdom and arguably speaks better English than all of us. And she’s a valued employee so if it comes down to a choice between your custom and her working here, I’m a have to choose her over you two. Now get out of here!”

(At this point, Customer #3, an old man with a thick southern accent, beckons me over.)

Customer #3: “Hey, you, girlie.”

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer #3: “On behalf of the United States Of America, I just wanna apologise for the way those two morons just treated you. I been a citizen here for 78 years, an’ I ain’t never let nobody tell me howta treat people. I served alongside a British guy in a the last war and I never had a problem wi’ him. Far from it.”

Me: “That’s so nice! Thank you!”

Customer #3: “Woulda married him too if people like that wouldn’t make such a fuss about it.”

A Weebly Weird Conversation

, , | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I am waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. The couple behind me, who looks to be in their late twenties, are discussing their orders.)

Guy: “Have you tried the bacon, mushroom and Swiss cheese burger?”

Girl: “Yeah, it wasn’t bad, but I’m not a huge fan of mushrooms.”

Guy: *starts singing super quietly* “Mushroom! Mushroom!”

Girl: *also super quietly* “It’s a snake! A snaaaaaake! A snaaaaake!”

Both: “Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger!”

(They then go back to their conversation about various menu items, completely normal.)

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