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    The Ire Of The Irish

    | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

    (I’m Irish and am working in the States one summer, waiting tables at an Irish pub/restaurant. I’m serving a couple in their 30s.)

    Customer: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from Ireland.”

    Customer: “Where’s that?”

    Me: “It’s in Europe.”

    Customer: “Oh, you’re from another country! Your English is really good!”

    Burnt To Order

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “And would you like white toast with that?”

    Customer: “No, I want black toast.”

    Me: “I don’t…I don’t think that exists, sir.”

    Customer: “BLACK TOAST.”

    Me: “Wheat it is, then, sir.”

    Bananas Explodé

    | Brussels, Belgium | Food & Drink

    (I’m preparing bananas flambé in front of several customers. Suddenly, one of them speaks up excitedly.)

    Customer: “Wow, that looks so cool! Are you using gasoline?”

    Who’s Dating Who

    | California, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work as a server in a popular restaurant. This happens on the toughest day of the restaurant year: Valentine’s Day. A couple in their 20s has just been served their meal.)

    Me: “How are you both doing this evening? Can I bring you anything else?”

    Customer: “We aren’t doing very well at all! You aren’t doing nearly as much as you can to make my lady feel special!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to make you both feel special this evening. I thought you might want to be the one to make your lady feel extra special.”

    Customer: “It’s not my job to make her feel special. It’s your job!”

    Customer’s date: *looks like she wants to die of embarrassment*

    Warning: Reacts Poorly To Chemistry

    , | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “And a cheeseburger with—” *mumbling*

    Me: “I’m sorry, but with what?”

    Customer: “No salt. S, A, L, T.”

    Me: “Oh, salt, like sodium chloride…NaCl. Sure.”

    Customer: “What!?”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m a chemistry nerd.”

    Customer: “What’s NaCl?”

    Me: “Sodium chloride. The chemical name for table salt. I just left school so I am in that mindset.”

    Customer: “You put chemicals in your burgers!?”


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