I was at a resort where dinner was served buffet-style. One lady slipped and ended up with crutches, so the waiters were fetching her food from the buffet.
Another lady, who was perfectly able-bodied, flagged down a waiter.
Lady: “You’re getting that lady’s food for her. I want you to do the same for me!”
A guy is at the bar, running a tab that has just three beers on it. He is also semi-nodding off in his seat. I check on him.
Me: “Hey, there! Can I get you some water or food?”
Customer: “No, just another beer!”
Me: “Sir, per policy, and local law, I can’t continue to serve you. I’d love to invite you back for more drinks tomorrow.”
Customer: “You trashy f****** b****!”
Me: “Okay, time to close your tab!”
I present him with the bill and listen to another round of him listing my personal faults. He then knocks the garnish tray off the bar, which covers me from the chest down in sticky juice, gives me a one-finger salute, and heads for the door without paying.
I start yelling, waving my arms crazily in the direction of my general manager.
Me: “You didn’t pay your tab!”
An off-duty officer having a nice dinner with his wife gets up and blocks the exit.
In the end, the officer made a list of charges: theft of services, destruction of private property (for breaking the garnish tray), public intoxication, public profanity, resisting arrest, assault (me), and assault on a police officer.
I think it would’ve been cheaper to pay for three beers.
I will remember this birthday for a long time! Tonight, we went to [Steakhouse Restaurant] for dinner to celebrate. I had asked [Husband] to invite everyone from the Armed Forces recruiting offices to join us, and a few were able to come.
As we were only able to get an 8:00 reservation, we were among the last people of the evening. Things were going smoothly with everyone enjoying appetizers, drinks, and engaging conversations.
Our food came, and everyone noticed that [Husband]’s boss had ordered a meal that came covered in a glass dome. The server lifted it up to do the fancy presentation and release the smoke.
What we didn’t realize was that our table was right underneath the smoke detector… and there was a lot of smoke! The commander’s young son kept pointing out the smoke to everyone, just as the smoke alarm went off.
They had to evacuate the entire restaurant while we waited for the fire department to arrive. After a few minutes of standing outside in the cold, we were allowed back inside the building, although we were asked to move to a different table so that the smoke detector could be reset.
The management felt so bad that our bill was completely paid for, and everyone in the restaurant was given coupons for free appetizers on a future visit!
Everyone got a good laugh about the entire situation. At least we all had a good time and now we all have a funny story to share!
I have a table make a reservation at our restaurant for 9:00 pm through a concierge at a hotel. We close at 9:00 pm, so I call the concierge and tell them our last seating is at 8:30.
Me: “Please tell your guests not to expect the kitchen to be open after 9:00 pm.”
Concierge: “I will let them know straight away. Thank you.”
Of course, the table shows up at 8:55 pm.
Me: “You will have to order right now because the kitchen is closing.”
Customer: “How rude! Our reservation is for 9:00 pm!”
Me: “We contacted your hotel concierge to tell them this. If they did not relay the information, then I apologize, but the kitchen is not staying open past 9:00 pm.”
Just then a little kid at the table speaks up.
Little Kid: “Mom! The lady at the hotel did tell us, remember, Mom?”
BUSTED. I just stood there with a huge grin on my face as they gave me their order.
Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 16
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 15
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 14
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 13
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 12
I recommend a glass of sauvignon blanc to a customer, and he doesn’t like it. I replace it with our other option, which is more expensive, but I don’t change the price as I recommended the one he didn’t like.
I bring him his bill at the end of the meal.
Customer: *Infuriated* “I spend good money here, and I won’t be paying for something I didn’t drink!”
He tossed the checkbook at me like a Frisbee. I calmly took the book back, adjusted the price, and gave it back to him.
The way his eyes got huge and his jaw opened when he realized his mistake has stuck with me to this day.
