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    Would You Like Your Scam For Here Or To Go

    , | Missouri, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (It is not very busy, but we are short-staffed so everyone is working hard. My manager helps me bag a particularly big order.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I believe my manager and I got all of your food. But, just in case, let me go over your receipt again.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (We go over the receipt together and find everything is correct.)

    Customer: “Thank you, dear.”

    Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am!”

    Manager: “Did you go over her order again before you let her leave?”

    Me: “Yes!”

    (Five minutes later a man walks in brandishing a receipt and yelling.)

    Man: “You idiots messed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I came through drive-thru and didn’t get half of my order!”

    (I look over the receipt and see it is from the previous customer that I just helped.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t think this is your order. I packed this order a few minutes ago, and it was for a lady on counter.”

    Man: “How dare you accuse me of lying! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine.”

    (The manager proceeds to tell him the same thing, but he won’t stop screaming at her. Eventually, he demands to see the store manager.)

    Store Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Man: “Look, I came through the drive-thru. This is my receipt, but your stupid employees won’t give me my food!”

    Store Manager: “Well, sir, I am certain this is not your receipt.”

    Man: “Oh yeah? Prove it!”

    Store Manager: “Well, the top of the receipt says the order was taken from the register at the counter, which means it could not have been for a drive-thru order. And, according to the receipt, this was ‘Katie’s’ order. You don’t look like a ‘Katie.’”

    Man: *thinks for a minute, then leaves defeated*

    It’s About To Get Ugly In Here

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    (I work with a surprisingly attractive staff. While I’m not ugly, the majority of my coworkers are more attractive than me. An elderly man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “I want you to serve me. Attractive people never have good service. You are NOT attractive, so I know you’ll do a great job!”

    Me: “Ummm… thanks?”

    I’ll Have My Pride To-Go

    , | TN, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, what would you like?”

    Customer: “Cheeseburger.”

    Me: “Okay. Would you like mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup on that?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “So, all three on the burger?”

    Customer: “NO, D*** IT! JUST ONE CHEESEBURGER!”

    Me: “Yes sir, but would you like mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup on the cheeseburger?”

    Customer: *silence*

    Me: “Are you still there?”

    Customer: “I want a Coke!”

    Me: *regretting my life choices*

    Eye Can’t Believe It

    , | Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant's name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll have—”

    (The customer finally makes eye contact and then stares at me for a couple of seconds.)

    Me: “Ma’am? Is everything all right?”

    Customer: “Your eyes…”

    (I typically get compliments on my blue eyes, so I just smile.)

    Me: “Thank you. What can I get for you?”

    (The customer is still transfixed on my eyes.)

    Customer: *slowly* “Are… they real?”

    Me: “Um, yes.”

    Customer: “Are they yours?”

    Me: *laughing* “No, I stole them from a corpse.”

    (I realize that she thinks I’m serious.)

    Me: “They’re my real eyes! I was born with them.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Positive.”

    Customer: *orders and quickly leaves, staring cautiously at my eyes the whole time*

    Related:
    An Eye For An Eyepatch

    In The Wrong Place At The Right Time

    | PA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m busing tables at a small, family owned restaurant. There is another restaurant about fifteen minutes away with the same name, so we sometimes get mix ups. We are just started to slow down after a fairly busy dinner rush when I overhear the hostess talking to a customer.)

    Hostess: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I placed an order with you guys and I’m here to pick it up.”

    (The hostess checks but sees no order for her.)

    Hostess: “I’m not seeing any order under your name. Are you sure you didn’t accidentally call [other restaurant] instead?”

    Customer: “How DARE you accuse me of being that dumb? Of course I called here! You just can’t do your job right. Look in the back; I’m sure they have it!”

    (The hostess goes to the back waitress station but doesn’t find it. She decides to call the other restaurant, and, sure enough, they have her order.)

    Hostess: “Ma’am, I just called the other restaurant and they have your order. If you’d like, we can put your order in now but it won’t be done for another fifteen minutes.”

    Customer: “NO! I need my food now! Give me someone else’s. I have stuff to do!”

    Hostess: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. You can either drive fifteen minutes to the other restaurant, or you can wait fifteen minutes and get it here.”

    Customer: “Hmph, fine! I guess I’ll wait, but this is the worst service I’ve ever had!”

    (As she waits, the customer stands at the counter while tapping her her foot and staring at her watch. When her food is finally finished, she tears it out of the hostess hands and storms out.)

    Customer: “I’M NEVER COMING TO THIS S***HOLE AGAIN!”

    Next Customer: *to the hostess* “…and we’re all very thankful for that!”

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