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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • The Less This Employee Nose, The Better

    , | Kennebunk, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Our store has just started their avocado promotion which seems to be very popular.)

    Customer: “My husband wants avocado on his sandwich… weirdo!”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m not a big fan either, to be honest.” *starts putting avocado on her sandwich*

    Customer: “Ew! I don’t know how he can cut an avocado in half and just scoop out the guts. Gross!”

    Me: “Oh, does he?”

    Customer: “Yeah! It’s so nasty! He’s so weird! If I want to eat anything green and goopy, it better be coming out of my own nose!”

    For Bitter Or Worse

    , | Montana, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I have been working at the same fast food restaurant since high school. That was a little over four years ago, so a lot of the regulars know me pretty well. I’m also usually mistaken for being much younger than I actually am, especially when I have my hair pulled up. I am also a recent newlywed, and my wedding band doesn’t look like the typical wedding band.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get you?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh, that is a pretty ring!”

    (The customer points to my wedding band, which is silver with a gold Celtic Claddagh in the center.)

    Regular Customer: “Who got that for you?

    Me: “Oh, it is my wedding band. My husband got it for me.”

    Regular Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “…Ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: *starts yelling* “You are FAR to young to get married! This is insane! I need to speak to your manager!”

    (At this point, I don’t know what to do, so I go get one of supervisors.)

    Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: “Did you know that this young woman is married? She is too young to get married! Was she forced? How can you allow something like this to happen to one of your coworkers?”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, how old do you think she is?”

    Regular Customer: “She can’t be more than seventeen… Oh, I know!” *to me* “You are pregnant, aren’t you?”

    Me: *completely shocked* “No, ma’am, I’m not pregnant. And I’m not seventeen. I’m 21.”

    Regular Customer: “No, you aren’t, I’ve been coming here for years. You are seventeen, and you are probably pregnant which is why you were forced into marriage.” *to my supervisor* “What is this world coming to these days?!”

    Me: “Here ma’am, take a look at my ID.”

    (The customer looks at my ID, which clearly shows that I am 21.)

    Regular Customer: *frustrated* “Well, you’re still young to be married. It must have been a shotgun wedding!”

    Teachers Make A Difference

    , | Sydney, Australia | Math & Science

    (I’m working in the drive-thru, and am taking customer’s orders and their money. His daughter is sitting in the passenger’s seat.)

    Me: “So, that’ll be $28.10. Thanks!”

    (The customer hands me $50.10.)

    Customer: “So, how much change do I get?”

    Me: “$22.”

    Customer: “You cheated! That was an easy one! Sorry, I’m a maths teacher.”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, that’s alright. But it’s the school holidays!”

    Customer: “Maths doesn’t take holidays!”

    Me: “You’re right. Well, enjoy the rest of your holidays!”

    Customer’s Daughter: *looks very embarrassed* “Sorry, he does this everywhere we go!”

    At Least His Daughter Is On The Right Track

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a 17-year-old girl. I work as a hostess to pay for my gas money at a local restaurant that specializes in seafood. A family of three walks in: a mom, dad, and their daughter. They’re all well-dressed and the daughter is texting away on an iPhone.)

    Wife: “We have a reservation.”

    Me: “Name?”

    Wife: *gives their last name*

    Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Table for three. If you would please follow me…”

    (I lead them to a table by the window.)

    Wife: “Thank you.”

    Husband: “Don’t thank her! This is unacceptable!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

    Husband: “OF COURSE there’s a problem! I want to be seated outside!”

    Me: “My apologies, sir, but all of the tables outside are taken. Your reservation has no specified preference, so according to restaurant policy, I took you to the first available table. Would you like to wait until a table on the patio is open?”

    Husband: “No! I want to be seated right now!”

    Wife: *to her husband* “Calm down, please.”

    Husband: “Your service is horrible!”

    Me: “I can get the manager for you, if you would like.”

    Husband: “Do it, now!”

    (The entire time, the daughter is still texting away. I fetch my manager and he sends me back to work. Two hours later, the family walks out. The daughter slips me something and leaves without a word. It’s a note and three folded twenty dollar bills.)

    Daughter’s Note: “Sorry that my dad is such an a**. I hope this makes up for it, and congratulations on the track meet last Thursday. We stayed inside, just so you know!”

    (Upon closer inspection, it turns out that she runs for one of our rival schools. I knew she looked familiar!)

    A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2

    | Turin, Italy | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a customer at a local restaurant. It’s 7:30 pm, so most of the customers haven’t arrived yet and the place is pretty quiet. All of a sudden, a middle-aged customer starts shouting randomly and making obscene gestures to people. A waitress tries to calm him down, but he just doesn’t listen. This goes on for a while, until the same waitress approaches an elderly couple with their dinner.)

    Elderly Wife: “Thank you, dear. Is there any way to make that horrible man stop yelling?”

    Waitress: “I am sorry, ma’am. He keeps ignoring us.”

    Elderly Husband: “He’s just a little kid hoping for attention. Kick him out.”

    Waitress: “I am terribly sorry, but it is our policy not to kick customers unless they are posing a threat to someone. We can not even touch him.”

    Elderly Husband: “Well, that doesn’t apply to me, does it?”

    (With that, the elderly husband stands up, reaches the middle-aged customer and grabs him by an ear. He then drags him on the floor and out of the restaurant, eventually kicking him in the butt. When he comes back to his table, he hands the waitress 40 euros.)

    Elderly Husband: “For the glass he broke on his way out. Bad kids always need a good kick in the butt!”

    Related:
    A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’

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