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    The Cosplayer Is Always Right

    | Madrid, Spain | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Our Japanese restaurant is near a school that annually hosts an anime convention. So, it’s fairly common to have cosplayers among our customers at the time of the con. The owner is okay with it as long as they don’t annoy the other customers. On this day, we seat twelve cosplayers and, later, I seat three young customers near them.)

    Young Customer #1: “What is this? Why are those guys costumed?”

    Me: “Oh, there’s a large anime convention ongoing at the local school. It’s rather common to see them at the times of the gathering.”

    Young Customer #1: *chuckles* “Yeah, what a bunch of dorks.”

    Young Customer #2: “Total nerds.”

    (Since there are no other free tables and they didn’t pre-order a table, they sit near the cosplayers while mocking them under their breath. In the meantime, a cosplayer of Pikachu is talking somewhat loudly on his phone.)

    Young Customer #2: *waves at me* “Hey, you! Tell those dorks to shut up!”

    Halo Cosplayer: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *to ‘Pikachu’* “Dude, not so loud. You’re bothering people.”

    Pikachu Cosplayer: “What? Oh, sorry to bother you guys.” *starts talking again, but much quieter*

    Young Customer #3: “Yeah, that’s right. Shut up, you virgin nerd!”

    Young Customer #1: “Go back to the library, virgins!”

    (At this point, I warn the owner about the behavior of the younger customers. He immediately goes to their table.)

    Owner: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Young Customer #1: “It’s not our fault. Those nerds started to insult us! We’re not going to stay here and do nothing!”

    Owner: “My staff told me the contrary, actually.”

    Young Customer #3: “What?! That b***h waitress is lying!”

    Owner: “Sir, I won’t allow you to insult my staff or customers. Those cosplayers were extremely polite and quiet during their meals, unlike you. If someone must be thrown out, it’s you.”

    (In the blink of an eye, one of the young customers gets up and tries to grab the owner. However, to our surprise, one of the cosplayers playing Batman grabs him by the hair, slams him on the table and holds him still.)

    Young Customer #1: “OW! That f***ing hurts! Who the f*** do you think you are, you motherf***er?!”

    Batman Cosplayer: *in a raspy tone* “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am… Batman.”

    (The two other customers begin to yell, but quickly shut up when all the cosplayers get up and surround them, showing that most of them are clearly larger than them. The mall security arrests the bad customers, and the cosplayers leave after apologizing for the trouble. However, it’s not before we snap a picture with them. Now, we frequently joke about that time when Batman, Pikachu and Master Chief saved the restaurant!)

    Related:
    The Costumer Is Always Right

    Would You Like Your Scam For Here Or To Go

    , | Missouri, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (It is not very busy, but we are short-staffed so everyone is working hard. My manager helps me bag a particularly big order.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I believe my manager and I got all of your food. But, just in case, let me go over your receipt again.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (We go over the receipt together and find everything is correct.)

    Customer: “Thank you, dear.”

    Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am!”

    Manager: “Did you go over her order again before you let her leave?”

    Me: “Yes!”

    (Five minutes later a man walks in brandishing a receipt and yelling.)

    Man: “You idiots messed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I came through drive-thru and didn’t get half of my order!”

    (I look over the receipt and see it is from the previous customer that I just helped.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t think this is your order. I packed this order a few minutes ago, and it was for a lady on counter.”

    Man: “How dare you accuse me of lying! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine.”

    (The manager proceeds to tell him the same thing, but he won’t stop screaming at her. Eventually, he demands to see the store manager.)

    Store Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Man: “Look, I came through the drive-thru. This is my receipt, but your stupid employees won’t give me my food!”

    Store Manager: “Well, sir, I am certain this is not your receipt.”

    Man: “Oh yeah? Prove it!”

    Store Manager: “Well, the top of the receipt says the order was taken from the register at the counter, which means it could not have been for a drive-thru order. And, according to the receipt, this was ‘Katie’s’ order. You don’t look like a ‘Katie.’”

    Man: *thinks for a minute, then leaves defeated*

    It’s About To Get Ugly In Here

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    (I work with a surprisingly attractive staff. While I’m not ugly, the majority of my coworkers are more attractive than me. An elderly man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “I want you to serve me. Attractive people never have good service. You are NOT attractive, so I know you’ll do a great job!”

    Me: “Ummm… thanks?”

    I’ll Have My Pride To-Go

    , | TN, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, what would you like?”

    Customer: “Cheeseburger.”

    Me: “Okay. Would you like mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup on that?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “So, all three on the burger?”

    Customer: “NO, D*** IT! JUST ONE CHEESEBURGER!”

    Me: “Yes sir, but would you like mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup on the cheeseburger?”

    Customer: *silence*

    Me: “Are you still there?”

    Customer: “I want a Coke!”

    Me: *regretting my life choices*

    Eye Can’t Believe It

    , | Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant's name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll have—”

    (The customer finally makes eye contact and then stares at me for a couple of seconds.)

    Me: “Ma’am? Is everything all right?”

    Customer: “Your eyes…”

    (I typically get compliments on my blue eyes, so I just smile.)

    Me: “Thank you. What can I get for you?”

    (The customer is still transfixed on my eyes.)

    Customer: *slowly* “Are… they real?”

    Me: “Um, yes.”

    Customer: “Are they yours?”

    Me: *laughing* “No, I stole them from a corpse.”

    (I realize that she thinks I’m serious.)

    Me: “They’re my real eyes! I was born with them.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Positive.”

    Customer: *orders and quickly leaves, staring cautiously at my eyes the whole time*

    Related:
    An Eye For An Eyepatch

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