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    Sweet Injustice

    | ON, Canada | Food & Drink

    Customer: “I will have [very sweet] pie.”

    Me: “Great. This pie is very sweet, and we recommend it with a scoop of ice cream for an extra dollar. Or, a glass of milk if you want.”

    Customer: “No, just the pie is fine. I’m not paying an extra dollar.”

    (Later, when they are paying…)

    Customer: “Um, just so you know, that pie that I had was really sweet. I almost couldn’t eat it. You should really serve it with ice cream or a glass of milk of something!”

    Someone Is Telling Porkies

    | Youngstown, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (My wife and I are eating at an Indian restaurant. An older couple has finished their meal in the booth next to ours; the server has brought them their bill.)

    Customer: “Are you sure this was lamb curry? It tasted like pork.”

    Server: “Yes, sir. We do not serve pork.”

    Customer: “I’m not calling you a liar, but it sure tasted like pork.”

    Server: “We do not have any pork on the menu, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, all I know is, it tasted like pork.”

    Server: “Sir, we do not even have any pork in the building.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m telling you, it tasted like pork!”

    My Wife: *to me, but loudly enough for them to hear* “Didn’t stop him from eating it all, though.”

    (The customer glares at us, then silently hands the server his credit card. They leave quickly when she brings it back.)

    Server: *to my wife* “Thank you so much!”

    The Bark Tastes Worse With A Bite

    | GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Our restaurant serves salmon grilled on a cedar plank.)

    Me: “Here is your cedar salmon. Can I get you anything else?”

    Customer: “No. But can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    Customer: “Can I eat the wood?”

    All You Can Eat, Not You Can Eat All

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a buffet restaurant, mostly serving pizza. The customers pay at the register when they come in.)

    Customer: “Can I get a to-go box for my leftovers?”

    Me: “Well, you have to pay extra for anything you want to take with you.”

    Customer: “Why? I already paid at the door when I came in so this is my pizza on the table. Why do I have to pay more for it?”

    Me: “Because the buffet price is only for what you eat here. We can’t afford for people to eat here and take food home with them for another meal.”

    Customer: “I’m not stealing if that’s what you’re trying to say!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you full? Are you finished eating?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Then you have had all you can eat. That’s all you paid for.”

    Pretty Fly For A Strange Guy

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss, look what I found in my drink.”

    (He holds a dead fly up. I have no idea how it got in his drink, but I’m mortified.)

    Me: “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Let me find my manager for you.”

    Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. I drank it all and it’s no big deal.” *laughs*

    Me: “That’s really nice of you, sir, but I do want to tell my manager about it. This sort of thing is not supposed to happen.”

    (The customer keeps holding the fly in his hand. I go looking for my manager but can’t find him. I don’t want to keep the customer waiting for their check forever, so I go back to the table.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find him, but as soon as I see him I’ll make sure to tell him about this. But here’s a coupon for your next visit, and I took the drinks off your check.”

    Customer: *smiling* “Thanks! But really, it’s no big deal. It’s kind of funny. Hey, look who’s not dead after all?” *holds up the fly, which is now squirming* “Ain’t he cute?”

    (He suddenly smashes the fly on the table, wipes his now fly-gut covered hand on my apron, and leaves.)

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