(I wait tables at a sushi place. I’m currently serving two male customers.)
Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Look at her eyes. Just look at them!”
Customer #2: *to me* “Can I get a lunch combo?”
Me: “Of course.”
Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Did you not f***ing hear me? Look at her eyes!”
Customer #2: *to customer #1* “I did. They’re beautiful!”
Customer #1: *to me* “Can I have a lunch combo? Also, I love you!”
(There are at least 10 people in the restaurant. I am the only person manning front counter, so when I finish bagging each order, I call out what I’m holding so the customer can come pick it up.)
Me: “Cheeseburger combo. Cheeseburger combo!”
Customer: *raises his hand*
Me: “Cheeseburger combo?”
Customer: *takes bag*
(I continue taking orders and bagging them as they come up. Two minutes later, the customer that took the cheeseburger combo comes back.)
Customer: “Hey, this is a cheeseburger combo. I ordered a chicken burger!”
(I take the cheeseburger combo back from him and continue bagging orders. About a minute later, he has his chicken burger.)
Me: *gives him his chicken burger*
Customer: *gives me a condescending look and stomps off*
To Whom This May (Not) Concern
To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2
(I’m a waitress at a sushi place.)
Me: “Well, thank you for coming in gentlemen. Have a great day!”
Customer #1: “You were really great to us, so thank you.”
Me: “Yeah, of course, anytime! You guys were easy to take care of!”
Customer #2: “We were easy?”
Me: “I didn’t mean it like that!”
Customer #2: “It’s okay, I’d be easy for you! Have a great day.”
(I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)
Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”
Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”
Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”
Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”
Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!
- War Can Be Taxing:
The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
- Taxation With Agitation:
It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
- Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
- Taxing Customers:
However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
- Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!