Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(We just opened for service. Our first customer of the day comes in.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys take [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “No, sorry, sir.”

(The customer leaves, but he comes back about an hour later.)

Customer: “Hi! Do you guys take [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry. But we take checks!”

Customer: “Nope, that doesn’t work. Thanks anyway.”

(An hour later, he comes back.)

Customer: “Still not taking [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry!”

Customer: “Okay…”

(He leaves, again. An hour later..)

Customer: “NOW do you take [credit card name]?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we do not.”

Customer: “Jeez, I’m never coming back here! You guys never take [credit card name]!”

(He storms out. At the end of the day…)

Customer: “So, how about now?”

Rise Above It

| OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am a cashier at a buffet. I am very short and am standing next to another cashier over six feet. Our buffet guests have been standing in line for about two hours for a very popular weekend dinner. I invite the next two guests in line to come pay at my register.)

Guest: “Well, aren’t you lucky! You get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for over two hours.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “I said, you’re very lucky to get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for a very long time.”

(I glance at my co-worker, who is grinning widely at the comment.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sitting down. This is as tall as I get!”

(The guest turns bright red and starts apologizing. I can’t resist taking off my shoes, which shorten me by another two inches.)

Me: “Ma’am, without my shoes I’m only this tall.”

Guest: “Please! You’d better keep your shoes on!”

Another Reason To Hate The News

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Canada, Money, Movies & TV

(I work in a major sandwich franchise in Canada.)

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store]. What can I get started for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, you guys have the chicken sandwich for $5 dollars this month, right?”

Me: “No, sir, that promotion is actually only available in the US at the moment.”

Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Since when has there ever been a difference?”

Me: “Well, promotions and prices have always been different between the two countries. I think that’s how it’s always been for large franchises.”

Customer: “I still want the promoted price I saw on the commercial.”

Me: “Is it possible that you were watching an American channel when you saw this commercial sir?”

Customer: “Of course not! I only watch Canadian television! What do I look like to you, some kind of Yankee?”

Me: “What channel were you watching, sir?”

Customer: “Fox News.”

Me: “That’s an American channel sir.”

Customer: “Oh… well…”

(He ended up ordering the sandwich he wanted, and he paid the marked-up price for it.)

Some Kids Are All Work And No Play

| Huntsville, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a hostess. A family of four walk in, and I seat them. The nine-year-old son leaves the table and comes up to the host stand.)

Nine-Year-Old Son: “Do you like your job?”

Me: “Sometimes it gets a little crazy, but it’s all good! Do you need some extra crayons or something?”

Nine-Year-Old Son: “No. Are you tired of your job yet?”

Me: “No, I’m doing all right.”

Nine-Year-Old Son: “Because if you’re tired, I’ll take over for you. Just come tell me at my table.”

(I laugh.)

Me: “Thank you very much, but I have to stay up here and work until the end of my shift!”

(His older sister comes over.)

Nine-Year-Old Son: “I’m serious! If you’re tired, I can take over!”

Older Sister: “Come on, let’s go!”

Service To Swear By

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am waiting on a table being used by a family: a mother, two teenagers, and one younger son. I am taking the order from the mother; everyone else has given their order.)

Me: “…and what side dish would—”

(The young son hits me in the back of the head. I find this funny, as the kid is so young.)

Me: “Hey buddy, what’s the matter?”

Child: “Where the f*** is my food?”

(I look at the mother in expectation of her to do something.)

Mother: “Well? Are you going to answer him?”

(I stare at the mother in disbelief.)

Me: “Well… the kitchen needs to cook your food for you, which takes time. I haven’t left the table yet, which means they don’t know what you would like to eat; it hasn’t even started being cooked yet.”

(The mother just kept going like nothing happened.)

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