Un-Sue-table Parenting

| IN, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I walk out to the dining room and see a kid, about five years old, running on some of our booths. I walk up to the mother.)

Me: “Ma’am, please stop your kid from running on our booths. It’s not safe.”

Mother: “He’s just having fun.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s not safe, and I’m asking you to stop your kid.”

Mother: “He’s just playing. He’s not going to get hurt.”

(This goes on for several minutes.)

Me: “Fine, then this is your disclaimer.” *turns to a regular customer* “You’re my witness.” *to the mother* “Ma’am, if your child falls and injures himself then we at [restaurant] hold no responsibility. We are not liable for any medical costs that may result in him injuring himself in our store.”

Mother: “You can’t do that.”

Me: “I have told you multiple times to stop your child from engaging in such dangerous activities and you have ignored me. Have a nice afternoon.”

(I turn and walk away.)

Mother: *to child* “Sit down now before you hurt yourself!”

They Don’t Know That Band Aid Feeds The World

, | OK, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A customer pulls up into the drive thru.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you have a grilled chicken salad?”

(I list off all our chicken salads.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the BLT salad. Does that come with lettuce?”

Me: “Yes. It’s a salad with lettuce.”

Customer: “Okay. One BLT grilled salad with lettuce.”

(I tell her the total, and she pulls up to the window. I’d cut myself earlier in the day on my finger, so I have to wear a band-aid. I’m only working with money, and try to keep it out of sight of customers as much as possible.)

Me: “Your total is $5.85.”

(The customer glances at my finger when I push the button to see her total. She looks like I’d just killed someone right in front of her.)

Customer: “Oh. My gosh. I’m sorry. That’s so gross!”

(She drops her change from spazzing out.)

Customer:“J-just take the twenty and forget the change!”

Me: “You sure? I can wait.”

Customer: “Y-yes!” *shoos me away in disgust*

(I give her the change, and close the window. I tell my coworkers it would be best if someone else handed out her food. My coworker hands the salad out to the spazzing customer.)

Coworker: “Did you see her? ”

Me: “No?”

Coworker: “She was staring at you and making praying gestures and talking to herself!”

A Not-So-Pretty Swell Day

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(During the lunch rush I am making fries. Since I am pregnant and the salt makes my hands swell, I take off my wedding ring.)

Me: “Here are your fries, sir! Hot out of the fryer.”

Customer: “Thanks girl, you’re pretty sweet. I’d ask you out if you weren’t so fat.”

Me: “Thank you for the compliment, but I am not fat. I’m pregnant.”

Customer: “What?! You aren’t pregnant. You’re just being prude.”

Me: “I highly doubt my husband would agree with you.”

(I take the ring out of my pocket briefly to show him.)

Customer: “If you’re married, why don’t you wear your ring? You looking around for a new man? Because I might be available after you lose weight.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m currently not wearing my ring because the salt makes my hands swell up and it cuts off circulation.”

Customer: “Don’t be stupid! Salt only makes girls swollen when they’re pregnant!”

(I nod at him slowly and he frowns, realizing what just happened.)

Customer: “Well… you’re not that pretty anyway!”

The Good, The Bag, And The Lovely

, | Kings Lynn, Norfolk, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Holidays

(I spend about 20 minutes dealing with a middle-aged woman and her elderly mother, sorting out a rather complicated order. Despite my reassurances, they are continuously apologising for taking so long to decide.)

Me: “Okay then, is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Nope, that’s brilliant; thank you! Have a lovely new year!”

(The customers leave. About an hour later, the young woman returns and heads straight for my register, looking rather flustered.)

Customer: “Hi again! I was in here about an hour ago if you remember me?”

Me: “Oh, yes! Did you enjoy your meal?”

Customer: “Yeah, but did you happen to come across a black leather handbag in your dining area? My mother left hers here!”

Me: “Yup! I have it safe under my register for you. I found in just after you left!”

Customer: “Oh, thank you so so much! You’re a life saver!”

Me: “Not a problem; just doing my job after all. Have a good day!”

(She walks off and I begin to serve the next customer. I can see her conversing with her mother out of the corner of my eye. She comes over again.)

Customer: “This is for everything you’ve done for us today, young lady!”

(She hands me what I thought was a scrap of paper, but is in fact a £20 note.)

Me: “Thank you ever so much for the gesture, but I cannot accept this!”

Customer: “No, no, you keep it! That’s for putting up with us today!”

Me: “I can’t accept this, though! It was a pleasure to serve you, and thank you bu—”

Customer: “Okay then, call it a New Year present or something! Bye now!”

Me: “But I ca—”

(She all but ran out of the store before I could protest further.)

A Good Idea On Paper

| State College, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(I have the opening shift at a well-known steak chain. It’s a weekday and typically pretty slow to start off. I get my first table: an older man and his grandson. I leave to get their drink orders, and come back to see the boy wearing origami boots on his fingers made out of $1 bills.)

Me: “That’s some pretty fly kicks you got there. Did you make them yourself?”

Boy: “My pap just made them for me! We’re learning about origami in art class, and he showed me how to make shoes so I can impress my teacher.”

Man: “Don’t expect her to just hand out dollar bills so you can show everyone.” *chuckles*

Boy: “Pap, show me another!”

Man: “That’s the only one I know.”

Me: “That’s a pretty neat trick! I need to learn how to do that when I give people their change. Hey, I know how to make a paper frog; want me to show you? It hops and everything. We used to race note card frogs in middle school.”

(The boy gets wide-eyed and nods his head yes.)

Man: “A frog you say? Let’s see it!”

(The man pulls out another dollar from his wallet. I fashion it into a frog. It hops just enough to make the boy get really excited.)

Boy: “No way! How did you do that?”

(They are still my only table at this point, so I take the time to sit down, and teach the boy how to do that, who thinks it’s the coolest thing. They finish up their meals, pay their check, and leave the restaurant. I notice they tip me very well on their card. However, when I get back to clean up their table, there are 10 little boots sitting by the man’s plate made from various dollar bills along with a note.)

Note: “We thought you needed some fly kicks, so here’s one for each finger.”

(I unravel the bills to discover an additional $36. It was a great start to my shift!)

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