Santa Vs Jason

, | Campbellton, NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Time

(Our restaurant is promoting several new products for the holidays, and the lobby and seating area are festively decorated. Two young women walk in with bags of Christmas wrap and the like. My manager and I overhear them having a brief conversation.)

Customer #1: “So, I guess Christmas falls on a Friday this year.”

Customer #2: “Oh my God. I really hope it’s not on the 13th!”

Customer #1: “Really, right? That would suck. Let me check the calendar on my phone to make sure.”

Customer #2: “Good idea! I’m celebrating the night before if it is!”

A Slice Of Christmas Spirit

| MA, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s the holidays. A woman comes in looking for sliced Christmas ham. She is on her cellphone. It is our policy to show the customers the first slice of any product to make sure it’s as thick or thin as they want.)

Me: *holds up first piece of ham* “Ma’am? Is this okay?”

(She waves me away impatiently, and continues gabbing on her phone. I try to get her attention again to no avail.)

Me: *goes back to cutting ham* “Okay.”

(I finish slicing two pounds of ham and put it on the counter. She is still on her phone, so I move on to the next customer. A few minutes later.)

Customer: *shoves ham in my face* “What is this?”

Me: “It’s the ham you ordered, ma’am.”

Customer: “It most certainly is not! It’s too thick! Nobody can eat this!”

Me: “With all due respect, you didn’t answer me. You waved, which I figured meant you okayed the first slice.”

(She picks up the bag of ham and throws it into her basket on the floor, kicks the basket, and scoops it up, stomping off like a child.)

Me: “And a very Merry Christmas to you, too!”

Putting Pickles Before People Will Put You In A Pickle

, | Raleigh, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s very close to Christmas and I’m on my break in the mall’s food court. The line I’m in is long; I notice there’s a customer with a young daughter throwing a fit, which is holding up the line.)

Customer: “I specifically said no pickles! I’m a very busy woman; I don’t have time for you to correct your stupid mistake! You should have gotten it right the first d*** time!”

(The customer continues to rant, at length, about how poor the service is and how she’s too busy to deal with it. This goes on for a few minutes while her daughter looks embarrassed and the rest of the customers in line are getting agitated. Finally, I decide to speak up.)

Me: “Hey! Lady! It’s Christmas! We’re all busy. So how about you shut up, take the pickles off your own d*** sandwich, and stop acting like an a** in front of your kid? We all have lives we’d like to get back to!”

(The customer tries to respond, but stops when she realizes the rest of the customers in line are applauding. She takes her food and drags her daughter off with a huff. The other customers actually push me to the front of the line, where the cashier looks nearly in tears, but is very relieved.)

Cashier: “Thank you so much.”

Me: “You’re welcome. Nobody deserves that kind of attitude today!”

(The cashier gave me a free drink, and the man behind me in line insisted on paying for my order out of ‘The Christmas Spirit’.)

So-da Pressing

, | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer asks for the manager, and seems clearly upset.)

Manager: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes! Why are you using [soda brand] products? You know they have fetuses in them! How dare you use their product?”

Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you there are no—”

Customer: “YES THERE ARE! I want to know why you’re using their product when they have fetuses in them!”

Manager: “Let me get the head manager.”

(She comes back with the head manager.)

Head manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t decide what kind of soda products we use. That is up to corporate to decide. It’s not our personal decision to choose a specific type of soda.”

Customer: “But they have fetuses in them!”

Head manager: “Well, if you would like to complain, I would go ahead and contact corporate about the soda. I’m sorry, but I can’t do more for you.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t believe you would use [soda brand]! They have fetuses in them!”

(I’ve dealt with some unique people at that place, but she takes the cake!)

Taking A Holiday From Reason

, | Fast Food, Restaurant | MT, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

(I am working the day before Christmas Eve. Our management has been pressing us to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so that people don’t get offended. However, sometimes I would slip up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ because of habit. I am also Wiccan, and therefore do not follow Christian practices.)

Me: “Here is your order! Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Um… here is your order?”

Customer: “No, what you just said. You just wished me a Merry Christmas.”

Me: “Yes… yes I did?”

Customer: “How dare you! What if I didn’t believe in Christ! Do you know how offensive that would have been?! What if I was Jewish or Atheist?! You have really offended me! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize if I offended you. However, I don’t believe in Christ. I’m Wiccan. But I still celebrate Christmas because it’s a beautiful family holiday.”

(The customer goes quiet for a moment. All of a sudden she starts yelling.)

Customer: “How can you not believe in Christ?! He died for your sins on the cross! Do you have any idea what Christmas is about! It’s not about family; it is about the birth of Jesus! How dare you! I will never eat here again!”

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