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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Sold Out Of Common Decency

    | Dunedin, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work at a small but locally famous family-owned barbeque stand. I manage the front area and prepare the food for orders.)

    Customer: “I am very angry! I came here from [local town that is not far away] to get some of your sausage, and you’re sold out!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry. The sausage is a specialty item because it is home made, so we will usually sell out because we are only open two days per week. We cannot make a lot of it because it won’t keep fresh through next week. It’s also 15 minutes before closing, so we are usually sold out of everything by now, but you can try our chopped pork if you would like!”

    Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! Why are you only open two days a week!? That is so inconvenient for me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. When we opened, the owner was retired and only wanted to run this for a couple of days per week. It also takes a while to prepare everything by hand.”

    Customer: “What a lazy a**! Let me talk to the owner now! I want to tell him to his face that he needs to think of the customers before himself!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, our owner passed away earlier this year from leukemia. It was in the local news. He kept our hours limited because of his health. You can speak with his widow if you would like; she is in the back.”

    Customer: “…I’m so sorry. Uh, I’ll just come back next week…”

    Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2

    , | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We sell burgers in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb size. It is part of our job to clarify which burger the customer is ordering. I overhear my coworker’s exchange at the next till.)

    Customer: “I’d like a burger please.”

    Coworker: “Certainly. Would you like the 1/4 lb or 1/2 lb?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure; whichever is bigger.”

    Coworker: “That would be the 1/2 lb.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I’m from the States, and I don’t understand your Canadian measurements!”

    Dumb By Any Metric

    Putting The Day Into A High Note

    , | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant, and we have been having a rough night. It has been non-stop busy, and several customers have been very rude. A car pulls up, and I greet them.)

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Customer: *singing in mock-opera style* “Just a momeeeennnt!”

    (Laughter erupts from the backseat, as a coworker and I exchange a look, stifling laughter.)

    Me: “Just let me know when you’re ready!”

    Customer: *still singing* “Can I get twwooooo large chocolate shaaaakes!?”

    (My headset is off, because I am laughing loudly as I enter their order.)

    Customer: “And one laaarge strawberry shaaaake?”

    Me: “Okay, I will have your total at the second window!”

    (They get to the window, and it’s a woman and two young girls in the back, all of them with big grins, and giggling.)

    Me: “That was absolutely fantastic! My coworker and I couldn’t stop laughing!”

    Customer: “Did we make your night?”

    Me: “Oh, yes!”

    (After the customer leaves, we spend another 10 minutes just laughing until our sides hurt. Thank you so much for the laugh! It’s people like you who make it all worth it!)

    Petty People Make Petty Complaints

    | NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am serving a woman who comes in for lunch with her two children. They have been pleasant so far, and are waiting for their order to come out. The children’s food is done slightly before the mother’s, so I bring it out before it gets cold.)

    Mother: “Where is my food?”

    Me: “It’ll be out in a few minutes, so no worries!”

    Mother: “But my children have their food now.”

    Me: “Theirs was done a little sooner, but yours is on its way.”

    Mother: “It’s not right that they get to eat before I do!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry about the delay. Maybe you could have a few bites of their pizza while you’re waiting?”

    Mother: “Are you saying that I should STEAL food from my CHILDREN?”

    Me: “Oh, no, not at all! It’s just, sharing is caring, right?”

    Mother: “I want to see the manager! This is ridiculous! I am NOT paying for this!”

    Me: “Well all righty then…”

    (She ends up getting everything for free, even though the manager told me later he was on my side. )

    Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

    | Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

    Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

    Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

    Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

    Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

    Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

    Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

    (Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)