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    Would You Like Brains With That

    , | England, UK | Food & Drink

    (Our store usually sells side orders with several meals: three hot and one cold. One night, both of our microwaves have broken so we can only offer coleslaw.)

    Me: “Unfortunately all our hot sides are gone today. I’m afraid I can only offer you coleslaw or extra fries as options.”

    Customer: “Can I swap the coleslaw for a gravy?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not; all our hot sides are unavailable. Are you okay with coleslaw or extra fries?”

    Customer: “Oh, no hot sides…can I have beans, then?”

    Me: “No. Sorry, as I mentioned you can only choose from coleslaw or extra fries. So, which would you like?”

    Customer: “I don’t really like coleslaw or fries…can I have a corn instead?”

    Me: “Um, no, you can’t. As I’ve already explained, we don’t have any hot side orders: just coleslaw or extra fries today. I’m sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Well, you should have said something, then!”

    Serving Your Pie And Eating It Too

    | Ohio, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Three teenagers come into the restaurant where I work.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “Okay, so we’ll have three large fountain drinks, six orders of fries, three cookies, and one large pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    (They pay and sit down at a table together with their order. Much to my surprise, Teenage Girl #2 and Teenage Boy get out their own packed lunches and put them in the middle of table to share. They all eat, everyone having a bit of everything. As I sit down at a nearby table for my break, I overhear them talking.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Okay, so maybe ordering a large pizza WASN’T the greatest idea.”

    Teenage Boy: “It was the extra fries that did it for me.’

    Teenage Girl #1: “So what do we do with the extra pizza?

    Teenage Girl #2: “The box is too big for us to lug it around.”

    Teenage Boy: “Well, crap. We just wasted some money.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Wait, I have an idea!”

    (She gets up, takes the box, and walks over to me while her friends watch on in confusion.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Do you like pepperoni pizza?”

    Me: “Um, yeah?”

    (Without another word, she drops the box in front of me and walks away. She and her friends leave the restaurant before I get a chance to say thank you. For the record, the pizza was delicious!)

    Would You Like That For Her Or To Go

    , | Lindale, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (I am in drive-thru, using a head set to communicate with customers. A male customer pulls up.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “I’m doing well! How are you tonight?”

    Me: “I’m good! What can I get for you?”

    (The customer places his order, but has a question that I am unable to answer. So, my manager speaks into the headset to answer him.)

    Customer: “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL?!”

    Manager: “Sir, you’ll see her at the window.”

    Customer: “WELL, BUTT OUT OF OUR CONVERSATION!”

    (The customer pulls up to window.)

    Customer: “TELL YOUR BOSS TO LEAVE US ALONE!” *glares at the window*

    Me: “Um, yes sir…”

    Lying Doesn’t Sit Well

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m clearing off the outdoor patio because we’ve stopped seating and our kitchen is closed. Three customers sit down at a table.)

    Me: “I’m sorry guys, but the outdoor seating is closed. Our kitchen and the dinning room are closed too, but the bar will be open till two.”

    Customers: *inaudible grumbling*

    Me: “Sorry, folks. ”

    (I clean off a few more tables. As I’m walking back inside, one of the men at the table stops me.)

    Customer: “I know you’re closed and all, but I’m just saying we were sat out here by a host. Maybe you guys should get your S*** together!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir? A host sat you without menus or silverware?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Do you know her name or what she looked like, sir? I’d like to talk to her.”

    Customer: *stumbling for words* “I don’t know…she—”

    Me: “…Especially since the last host was cut over an hour ago, and I’m the only server still on the floor. I must say I’m VERY curious who sat you.”

    Customer: “Well…F*** YOU!” *leaves with his friends*

    Me: “Have a nice night, guys!”

    Combo Incognito

    , | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (At this restaurant, they take your name when you order, and call it out when your food is ready to be picked up. I’m waiting with other customers for orders.)

    Cashier: “Jessica!”

    (No one comes forward.)

    Cashier: “Jessica? Is there a Jessica?”

    (Again, no one comes forward. Three more orders come out, and in between each, the cashier calls for “Jessica” again. Meanwhile, a customer who ordered before me has been standing right at the counter and is getting impatient.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but these people who just got their orders got here after me. Do you have my order?

    Cashier: “What’s your name?”

    Customer: “Susan.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have any orders for Susan. What did you order?”

    Customer: “I got the #3 combo with a coke.”

    Cashier: “That’s what the order for Jessica has.”

    Customer: “Oh! I gave the name Jessica, but that’s not my name. I don’t like giving my real name.”

    Cashier: “You gave the name Jessica, but didn’t claim the order for Jessica?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s not my name!” *takes her bag and leaves*

    Related:
    Indecisively Incognito

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