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  • He’s One Slice Short Of A Pie

    , | Grand Rapids, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I have returned from delivering a pizza to the last customer of the night. Upon returning to the store, it is after closing time, so we begin cleaning and closing the store. The phone rings; we normally don’t answer the phone after closing time, but since I recognized the name on the caller ID as my last delivery, I decide to answer it.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [restaurant]. I’m sorry we’re closed, but how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I just had a pizza delivered and there’s a problem.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What is the problem, exactly?”

    Customer: “Well, this has got to be some sort of joke or something.”

    Me: “Okay, what is the problem?”

    Customer: “I just sat down to eat my sausage pizza, and 7 of the 8 pieces are just fine, but the 8th piece doesn’t have any sausage on it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened. How about I give you a $2 discount on your next purchase?”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    Me: “Okay, sorry again. Have a nice night.”

    (Before I can even turn around to walk away, the same caller ID rings again, so I answer.)

    Customer: *yelling very angrily* “I’m so mad right now! I can’t believe what I’m looking at! What, are you messing with me not putting sausage on one of the pieces of my pizza?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it was an accident. Sausages are small and round, I’m sure after they were put on the pizza they rolled around when the cheese was applied. How about instead of a $2 discount, I mark you account for a free pizza on your next order? Would that fix it for you?”

    Customer: *calm now* “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

    (We once again finish the call and hang up. Again before I can turn around the phone rings with the same caller ID so I answer and greet the caller.)

    Customer: “YOU MUST BE PLAYING A JOKE ON ME! This must have been done on purpose! I’m gonna come down there and cut your heads off!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I just wanted to remind you that you’ll get a free pizza on your next order. Is that okay?”

    Customer: *calms down again* “Yeah, thanks.”

    (I quickly got off the phone while he was calm. We then quickly locked up and went home for the night without cleaning up the store, in case he was truly coming down to cut our heads off.)

    A Free Cup Of Kindness

    | Redondo Beach, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am having a pretty rough time, and I am not looking forward to work. I work in a small taco shack near the beach. My customers are often inexplicably rude, with a few exceptions. A girl walks up to the counter, and before I can ask what she wants to order she grins at me. Her smile is so genuine, I’m speechless.)

    Girl: “How are you today?”

    (I’m really surprised at this point.)

    Me: “I’m, uh, I’m pretty good, thank you.”

    Girl: “Oh, that’s good.” *smiles again*

    Me: “Thank you… uh, what can I get you?”

    Girl: “Oh, hmm… can I have a chicken taco and small drink, please?”

    Me: “Sure, that will be 4.95.”

    Girl: *digs through her purse* “I only have $4.02. Can I take off the drink, please?”

    Me: “Oh yeah, sure.”

    (I hand her the receipt and a empty drink cup.)

    Girl: *surprised* “Wait, I asked to take the drink off.”

    Me: “I did. You made my day a whole lot better just by asking how I was and giving me a smile. Least I can do is buy you a drink!”

    (She thanks me and gives me her prettiest smile yet before walking away. People should realize the difference a smile can make. It can change an employee’s whole day!)

    Fighting Hate Is Everyone’s Job

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Top

    (There are three customers outside on the patio: three men, one with long hair. The other two customers are friends and start volleying increasingly homophobic insults at him. I, as the hostess am closest and move to intervene.)

    Me: “Gentlemen, please return to your meal. Abuse of the other patrons will not be tolerated and I do not want to have you thrown out.”

    Customer #1: “What the h*** are you talking about, are you dumb? That guy’s a fucking f**. Look at his f***ing hair!”

    Me: “You cannot discern another person’s sexuality from a hairstyle, sir, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I already told you that I cannot allow you to insult the other patrons. I do not want to retrieve security.”

    Customer #2: “Screw that, b****! We’re not going anywhere. I’m in the middle of eating.”

    (Surprisingly, a police man still in uniform walks up to us.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, police man! This dumb f***ing c*** wants to throw us out instead of that d*** gay over there. Can you f***ing believe that?”

    Policeman: “What I believe is that I should be very grateful to have a wonderful boyfriend who waited for me even though I was late and two idiots were heckling him. I believe that this young lady is quite commendable for standing up to those two idiots. I also believe you two want to pay for you lunches and leave.”

    (There’s a bit of a stand off before the two get up and simply leave two twenty dollar bills. I turn to the remaining customer.)

    Me: “I’m very, very sorry, sir. I’ll tell your waiter that lunch for you and your partner is free.”

    Customer #3: “No need, miss.”

    (He pulls a ten dollar bill out of his wallet.)

    Customer #3: “Hostesses don’t get tipped, do they?”

    Me: “That’s really not necessary, sir. It’s all just part of my job. I was happy to help.”

    Policeman: “And for that miss, I think it is necessary.”

    (He sits down across from his boyfriend and also hands me a ten. One of the men returned to complain to my manager ten minutes later and was summarily banned from the restaurant when the policeman and his partner explained what happened. I went to their wedding eight months later.)

    Tipping On Tiptoes

    , | ME, USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    Regular: *pulls out two dollars and looks around* “You know, I’ve never seen a tip jar. Where is it?”

    Me: “We aren’t supposed to have one. It would be taxed out of our paychecks.”

    Regular: “But [coffee shop next door] has one! And what if you guys do a good job and I want to tip you?”

    Me: “Then we still aren’t supposed to accept it.”

    Regular: “Well, that sucks!” *drops the dollars on the counter* “Oh no! I accidentally dropped my money and now I’m leaving because I totally forgot it bye!” *runs out the door*

    Full Metal Jacket Potatoes

    , | Norway | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Military

    (On my way home from work, a buddy and I are stopping at a fast food joint just outside the military camp/training facility in my town. There is a long line of soldiers, privates, I assume, but also a young civilian lady almost at the front. As we have finally gotten to the front and are waiting for our food, a sergeant comes through the camp gates and walks directly to the front of the line.)

    My Friend: “Excuse me, but I think this young man was first.”

    (He points to the private who was about to place his order when the sergeant, rather rudely, walked in front of him.)

    Sergeant: “No, I think that will be fine. Don’t you think so, [private’s name]?”

    Private: “Yes, of course, sir.”

    My Friend: “I don’t. Why do you think you can just go ahead of everyone else?”

    Sergeant: “Because I am their superior officer! Now quit wasting my time.”

    Me: “Ahem. Are you her superior officer too?”

    (I point at the young girl standing a couple places behind him in line.)

    Sergeant: “Well, no…”

    My Friend: “Then get to the back of the line then! Have some common courtesy!”

    (The sergeant walked sheepishly to the back of the line. We went over to our car and made sure to stay and watch until everyone had gotten their food, so he wouldn’t just barge ahead again.)

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