Another Reason To Hate The News

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Canada, Money, Movies & TV

(I work in a major sandwich franchise in Canada.)

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store]. What can I get started for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, you guys have the chicken sandwich for $5 dollars this month, right?”

Me: “No, sir, that promotion is actually only available in the US at the moment.”

Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Since when has there ever been a difference?”

Me: “Well, promotions and prices have always been different between the two countries. I think that’s how it’s always been for large franchises.”

Customer: “I still want the promoted price I saw on the commercial.”

Me: “Is it possible that you were watching an American channel when you saw this commercial sir?”

Customer: “Of course not! I only watch Canadian television! What do I look like to you, some kind of Yankee?”

Me: “What channel were you watching, sir?”

Customer: “Fox News.”

Me: “That’s an American channel sir.”

Customer: “Oh… well…”

(He ended up ordering the sandwich he wanted, and he paid the marked-up price for it.)

Some Kids Are All Work And No Play

| Huntsville, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a hostess. A family of four walk in, and I seat them. The nine-year-old son leaves the table and comes up to the host stand.)

Nine-Year-Old Son: “Do you like your job?”

Me: “Sometimes it gets a little crazy, but it’s all good! Do you need some extra crayons or something?”

Nine-Year-Old Son: “No. Are you tired of your job yet?”

Me: “No, I’m doing all right.”

Nine-Year-Old Son: “Because if you’re tired, I’ll take over for you. Just come tell me at my table.”

(I laugh.)

Me: “Thank you very much, but I have to stay up here and work until the end of my shift!”

(His older sister comes over.)

Nine-Year-Old Son: “I’m serious! If you’re tired, I can take over!”

Older Sister: “Come on, let’s go!”

Service To Swear By

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am waiting on a table being used by a family: a mother, two teenagers, and one younger son. I am taking the order from the mother; everyone else has given their order.)

Me: “…and what side dish would—”

(The young son hits me in the back of the head. I find this funny, as the kid is so young.)

Me: “Hey buddy, what’s the matter?”

Child: “Where the f*** is my food?”

(I look at the mother in expectation of her to do something.)

Mother: “Well? Are you going to answer him?”

(I stare at the mother in disbelief.)

Me: “Well… the kitchen needs to cook your food for you, which takes time. I haven’t left the table yet, which means they don’t know what you would like to eat; it hasn’t even started being cooked yet.”

(The mother just kept going like nothing happened.)

Judging A Book By Its Fabulous Cover

| Nashville, TN, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

(I am standing in the waiting area near the hostess station. A man who is gay is requesting a table. A primly dressed woman walks in.)

Woman: “Ugh, how horrid! You should be ashamed of yourself dressing like one of those sinful f***! People will get the wrong idea about you.”

(The man keeps his calm like he’s used to this.)

Man: “Actually, ma’am, it wouldn’t be a wrong idea as I am—in fact—gay.”

Woman: “Have you no shame at all!? You sound proud of it! You should be more like this young man.”

(She gestures to me.)

Woman: “He obviously is a proper, god-fearing individual.”

Me: “I’m honored. You really believe he should be like me?”

Woman: “Of course, you obviously have your priorities straight.”

(I walk over to the man and extended a hand for a handshake. He takes it.)

Me: “Well, you heard her…”

(I lean in and give him a quick peck on the lips.)

Me: “Never change sweetie.”

(The other three people in the waiting area break out laughing and the woman goes beet.)

Woman: “Well, I never!…”

(She stomps out. The man and I end up sharing a table for dinner. We’re now good friends and we laugh about that meeting a lot.)

The Booth And Nothing But The Booth

| USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work at business that has a full service restaurant, as well as a grocery store/deli area. Customers often purchase food in the store, expecting to eat it in the restaurant as if it was a cafeteria and not a fine dining area.)

Customer: “Can I take this food from the deli and eat it over there at a booth?”

Me: “You certainly can; however, you would have to place the order through your server. They will plate it for you. This portion of the store is for carryout and grocery purchases only. If you speak to the hostess she’ll be happy to find you a seat.”

Customer: “But, I just want to eat this food over there!”

Me: “You definitely can; you just have to place your order with your server, and not with me.”

Customer: “Well, aren’t they going to just charge me more?!”

Me: “No, the prices are pretty much the same. Sometimes there’s a difference of a few cents, but we attempt to keep the prices in the restaurant as equivalent as we can to the store prices.”

Customer: “Oh, but they’re going to expect me to tip them if I sit in the restaurant, aren’t they?”

Me: “Well, yes, that is how servers earn their income.”

Customer: “WELCOME TO AMERICA!” *storms off*

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