It’s prom season, and our restaurant seems to be a popular spot for a lot of high schoolers to take out their dates. Our restaurant is in the city of Rome, Georgia, and we like to advertise the fact that we’re one of the oldest continually open restaurants in the city.

Teen #1: “So, how old is this place?”

Me: “It’s been renovated a few times, but the restaurant has been around almost as long as the city.”

Teen #2: “How long is that?”

Me: “The city was founded in 1834, so almost 190 years!”

Teen #1: “So… like… ancient Rome?”

Me: “Haha! Good one!”

Teen #2: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean that was a good joke.”

Teen #1: “What joke?”

Me: “About ancient Rome.”

Teen #1 & #2: *Blank expressions*

Me: “Can I get you started on drinks?”

I come back later with their drinks, and one of them has brought up Wikipedia on their phone. 

Teen #2: “Oh! Did you know there’s another Rome in Europe?!”

One of our new hosting staff takes a call from a customer.

Host: “Let me check for you, but I’m preeeetty sure it’s made out of metal.”

They call me over.

Host: “Hey, [My Name], this customer is asking if we have a wood grill. Pretty stupid, right?”

Me: “Yeah… so stupid. Hey, let me take that call for you!”

I work in a Mediterranean restaurant. We have some new waitstaff. They’re a sweet bunch, but not the brightest candles.

They come up to me while I’m prepping.

Waitstaff #1: “[Waitstaff #2] and I were talking, and we were trying to figure out where ‘Mediterranea’ is.”

Me: “You mean the Mediterranean Ocean?”

Waitstaff #2: “Oooh! Mediterranea has an ocean?”

Me: “No, it’s only an ocean. It’s not a place… well, not a place with land.”

Waitstaff #1: “So… it’s like Atlantis?”

Waitstaff #2: “Oh! Is this why we serve so much seafood?”

It was hilarious to hear them go on like that, but sadly, I was forced to correct them in case they took their explanations to the customers!

We work in a touristy town, so we often hire lots of seasonal workers during peak season. I just trained a batch of new waiters last week, and I am moving on to a new batch this week.

I’m showing them around the place and explaining how it all works. We come to the order station, where we see one of the new waiters pouring a cup of coffee.

Me: “Here is where you type in the orders you just took from the customer and prepare their drinks. For simple drink orders, you can make them yourself, but if you have any questions, feel free to…”

I trail off as I see the new waiter come out of the kitchen with that cup of coffee, with a bay leaf floating in it.

Me: “[New Guy], what is that?”

New Guy: “The customer wanted bay leaf and coffee.”

Me: “You sure it wasn’t Bailey’s and coffee?”

New Guy: “…maybe.”

Me: *To the new batch* “And this is why we ask questions, folks!”

A manager is explaining the updated menu to both the kitchen and the waitstaff.

Manager: “This is one of the cocktails we’re adding to the menu. It has butterfly pee in it, but [Mixologist] insists it’s safe, so tell the guests it’s sterile if they ask about it.”

Confused, we all look over to our resident mixologist, who is doing a Picard-worthy face-palm.

Mixologist: “Butterfly pea! P-E-A! Not P-E-E!”

Manager: “What the f*** is butterfly pea?”

Mixologist: “You have no right to ask me that if you thought I was making a cocktail using butterfly urine!”

That was an interesting all-hands meeting!