I Don’t Want To Wait. Oh Wait.

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: *answering the phone* “[Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can you cook us a cheese pizza, and a pepperoni and beef pizza, and put them on the buffet? We are coming in to eat and we are in a hurry and don’t want to wait.”

(Even though we don’t normally do this, it’s a slow day, so I say okay. The customer and her friends arrive in about 10 minutes.)

Customer: “Are the pizzas we called ahead about ready yet?”

Me: “Yes, they were just put on the buffet for you.”

Customer: “Good, because we don’t want to wait.” *she looks at the menu* “Oh, can I order a 10-piece buffalo wings, too?”

Me: “Okay, but they take about 12-15 minutes to cook.”

Customer: “Oh that’s fine. We can wait.”

You Just Drank PP

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(A lady and her husband walk into the store and order two medium coffees, one with milk, and one with double cream and double sugar. It is required that we mark the lid in order to determine whose beverage is whose, so I mark the drink with double cream and double sugar. Usually for this I write ‘dd’ on the lid. I put the drink on the counter, and the lady walks over to pick up her drink. She looks at the drink and asks me why I put two ‘p’s on the lid.)

Me: “Ma’am, those are ‘d’s. The drink is facing the opposite way”.

Her: “Why don’t you put the proper “D”s on the lid?”

Me: “I use that to indicate decaf coffee.”

Her:“But the ‘d’ is not a real letter anyway; learn to write properly next time.” *walks off in a huff*

No Discount Requires A Recount

, | UT, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I am standing in line. There are two gentlemen in front of me who are together being helped by the cashier.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total is $36.74.”

(This total catches my attention, as this place has a high value-per-dollar. In spite of having a more-than-ample appetite myself, I can always fill up for under $6, so I am curious what two men are going to do with six people’s worth of food.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s too much. Is [Manager #1] here?”

Cashier: “Uh… I don’t know anyone by that name.”

Customer: “Really? [Manager #1] is a manager. He always gives us discounts. Can you just give us a discount?”

Cashier: “Uh… no, I really can’t.”

Customer: “Well, where’s [Manager #1]?”

Cashier: “I really don’t know. I can get a manager if you like.”

Customer: “Yeah, we want to know where [Manager #1] is.”

Cashier: “Hey, [Manager #2]!”

(Manager #2 is out of earshot, so a line cook has to relay the shout farther back in order for her to hear. She has clearly been too far away to know anything about the conversation that just transpired. Manager #2 arrives at the register.)

Manager #2: “Yes, [Cashier]?”

Cashier: “These—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Where’s [Manager #1]?”

Manager #2: “Oh, he doesn’t work here anymore.”

Customer: “Oh, really? What happened?”

Manager #2: “Yeah, apparently he kept giving out discounts to people who’d done nothing to earn them, so we had to fire him.”

(Another register opened to help me, so I didn’t hear the end of their discussion, but when I sat down with my order, they were two tables down with about $10 worth of food.)

Needs More Than A Nugget Of a Common Sense

, | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working the counter at a popular chicken joint. We sell chicken nuggets in packs of 6, 8, or 12. A large family rushes up to my register.)

Mother: “Don’t you have anything bigger than a 12 pack?”

Me: “We have a party platter with 50 nuggets, but if you order now it will be at least a 30 minute wait as we have to cook them fresh and clear all current orders before we start yours.”

Mother: *looking horrified with my suggestion* “No! We don’t need THAT many. All right, fine. [Father], what do you think?”

Father: “Okay, we’ll take two 12-pack combos, with another 12-pack on the side for each. Two 8-pack combos with extra 8-packs for each of those.”

Boys: “Why can’t we have kids meals?! We want the toy!”

Father: “That’s not enough nuggets for you boys. We got you adult meals so you’d have enough food.”

Boys: “But there’s no TOY!”

Father: “Okay, okay. And two 6-pack kids combos. Oh, and can you value-size all of those?”

(If you haven’t already done the math, that’s a total of 92 nuggets, nearly double the amount on the party platter. A coworker and I attempt to explain that ordering the platter with some fries on the side would be more efficient and cheaper. They continue to insist they don’t need that many nuggets and begin to suggest that my coworker and I are calling them ‘fatties.’ We decide to go ahead with the order as they want it.)

Me: “Uhm… okay.”

(I take their drink orders, double check everything, and help them pay. It takes around 20 minutes to cook their order because of the sheer volume of nuggets. They are grumpy when we hand them their order, but walk away happily popping hot nuggets in their mouths. I still have a bad feeling about the transaction, so I keep an eye on the family as they eat. Thirty minutes later, they return to my counter with a bag full of nugget boxes.)

Mother: “That was WAY too many nuggets. Here. You take them back and give them to someone else.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but health codes won’t allow us to do that. We can only serve food over the counter, not receive it.”

Mother: “Are you kidding me? You’re just going to waste food like that?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can not take those back.”

Mother: “Well, what am I supposed to do with these?”

Me: “You could save them for later?”

Mother: “Don’t be stupid! We already ate a ton of your nuggets. Why would we go home and eat more?”

(I’m speechless at this point, so my coworker points out a nearby trash can for the woman.)

Mother: “I can’t BELIEVE you’re MAKING me waste this food!”

Say Sayonara To Intelligence

| Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”

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