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    Be Discrete On The Receipt

    , | Kansas, USA | Bizarre

    (I am ringing up a customer. Note that the receipts automatically print on credit transactions.)

    Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

    Customer: “No! How dare you! You better not give me receipt! I will be so pissed!”

    Me: “Oh, um, okay then!”

    (I finish ringing her up and the receipt prints automatically.)

    Customer: “Why did you print that?! I told you I didn’t want it! Do I need to slap you?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They print automatically when you use a credit card. You don’t have to take it or anything.”

    Customer: “I hate you young kids who think you know everything! You print receipts like it’s nothing!”

    Me: *not knowing what to say* “Well, have a great evening.”

    Customer: “How could I?! You printed the receipt!”

    Freak For Yourself

    | Wisconsin, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am at a Chinese restaurant with a friend. A group of four settle at a table beside us, including a couple in their 40s and what appears to be a set of their parents. The waitresses are obviously Chinese and speak English with accents.)

    Waitress: “What would you like for drinks?”

    Older Husband: “Diet Coke, please.”

    Waitress: “Sorry, no diet. We ran out.”

    Older Wife: “He can only drink diet, though!”

    Waitress: “We have no diet. I am sorry!”

    Older Wife: “You don’t understand!” *speaks slowly for her* “Only. Diet. Coke!”

    Waitress: “But—”

    Older Husband: “It’s okay. I will have water, then.”

    Waitress: “Okay!” *hurries away, slightly flustered*

    Older Wife: *to her husband* “You scared her away!”

    Two Oblongs Don’t Make A Right

    , | Minnesota, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I’m working the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

    Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

    Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

    (The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

    Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

    Also seen on Not Always Working.

    A Pack Of The Clones

    | UK | Bizarre, Top

    (Instead of having a definite job role I am just expected to help out wherever the restaurant is short. On this day, I have been cleaning.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your toilets are?”

    Me: “Just through there, sir. Just give me a moment to get the cleaning stuff out of there.”

    (I clear the toilet and leave. On my way downstairs, I am asked to open the bar up for the customers. I change and do so.)

    Same Customer: “Oh, weren’t you just upstairs?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Can I get you anything?”

    Same Customer: *nervous look* “Uh, I’ll just have a coffee. I’m sitting over there…”

    (After serving, I change again and start waiting tables.)

    Me: “Hello again. Can I take your order?”

    Same Customer: *upset* No…no…I think I’ll have to leave…”

    Me: “Are you okay, sir?”

    Same Customer: “I can’t eat in a place that employs CLONES! CLONES! CLONES EVERYWHERE!” *leaves*

    Dingbats In The Drive-Thru

    , | Derby, UK | Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in the drive-thru area of a well known fast food store. I’m taking an order out to a customer who, instead of parking in the designated bays, has parked in the main car park. The car he is parked next to just happens to be mine.)

    Me: “One burger meal?”

    (The customer throws open his door with great speed, slamming it into my car and leaving a noticeable dent. In shock, I drop his paper bag.)

    Customer: “What on EARTH do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “You just hit my car!”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

    (At this point I’m too shocked to do anything other than stand there and try not to cry.)

    Customer: “So, are you going to compensate me?”

    Me: “What for?”

    Customer: “You just dropped my food on the floor. I demand a full refund and maybe some extras.”

    Me: “Sir, you just dented my car with extreme force. I don’t particularly feel inclined to do anything other than replace the meal I dropped, to be completely honest.”

    Customer: “That is RIDICULOUS! You owe me £5 for that meal!”

    Me: “With all due respect sir, if I may please have your insurance details, we’ll see just how much you owe me!”

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