Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,816 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    How About Some Split Pee Soup

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “I’d like a latrine!”

    Me: “Oh, okay, the bathroom is just—”

    Customer: “No! How much is a latrine?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, there’s no charge for using the—”

    Customer: “No! Of soup! How much?”

    Me: “OH! A tureen!”

    Customer: “Yes, how much is a latrine of soup?”

    The Engendered Confusion

    , | Miami, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m in the back taking money and orders when a customer pulls up to my window.)

    Customer: “I heard that your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chicken. I heard they’re actually made of rooster.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chickens, but roosters, right?”

    Me: “Roosters are chickens, sir.”

    Customer: “No, they’re not!”

    Me: “Yes, roosters are male chickens and hens are female chickens.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s like that human thing, too…boy and girl! I see…” *drives off without ordering anything*

    Burger Budgeting 101

    , | USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m eating a hamburger. I see the man next to me carefully picking a slab of cheese out of his burger, wrapping it in a paper napkin, and eating the rest of the burger. It puzzles me, so I ask him about it.)

    Me: *point at napkin* “Excuse me, but why did you do that?”

    Man: “Oh, every time I eat a burger, I set one ingredient aside. At the end of the week, I have a free burger!”

    Mammary Fallacy

    | High Falls, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “What desserts do you have?”

    Me: *lists bunch of other desserts* “…and Turtle Cheesecake.”

    Customer: “Is that made with turtle’s milk? Because I’ve heard of goat’s milk cheesecake.”

    Me: “No, sir, it has caramel, chocolate, and nuts, like the candy ‘turtles’. Turtles don’t produce milk.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Weekend Roundup: Caught Red-Handed

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Caught Red-Handed! There’s nothing quite as sheisty as customer trying to pull a fast one—and nothing quite as satisfying as catching one red-handed!

    1. Caught Red-Handed:
      A sneaky customer gets called out by another customer—who just happens to be an employee!
    2. Piercing Observation:
      Underaged customers FAIL, basic biology WIN.
    3. Caught Brown Handed:
      Proof that some trails of evidence are self-evident, salty and sticky!
    4. Tripped Up:
      If customers are gonna cry child abuse, they’d better “step” up their game!
    5. A Squeaky Clean Record:
      An employee takes it easy on a young (and very squeaky) scammer.

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!


    Page 88/213First...8687888990...Last