October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

No Vocation For Location, Part 6

| Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I am a South African, working at a hotel restaurant in Israel. The establishment has both servers and guests from all over the world. Generally people are interested in finding out where people are from and why they’re here. One day I am clearing a table for an American couple.)

Me: “Shalom! I hope you enjoyed your meal. May I take your plates?”

Husband: “Yes, please. It was great.”

Wife: “Hey, you sound weird. Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from South Africa.”

Wife: “Really?! South Africa… where is that?”

Me: “Err…”

Husband: *embarrassed* “Honey, it’s in Africa. If you look at a map, it’s right down at the bottom.”

Wife: “Oh…” *blank look* “Oh! Kangaroos, right?”

Husband: “Err…” *looks at me apologetically*

Me: *just smiles* “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”

No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

Paying For Their Mistake

| Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I work at a fairly well known 50s theme restaurant, where we offer a movie and a meal deal. If you buy an adult entree and drink, then you get a movie ticket for $8. A customer is ordering and asks about the offer.)

Me: “Just so you know, you do have to order an adult entree for the offer to work.”

Customer: “Jeez, I know. I want fries and a water, and two kid’s chocolate shakes, and chicken tenders for them.”

(I place their order, and when it comes up, I bring it over. They eat it and seem very happy.)

Customer: “Can I please get my check, and can you get me one of those movie tickets, please?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but since you didn’t get an adult entree and drink, you can’t get a movie ticket for $8.”

Customer: “I did get an adult drink, water. Kids don’t drink water, and french fries count as an entree in my case.”

Me: “You have to buy a drink. Water is given out for free. And fries are not an entree. They are an appetizer or side.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”

(The manager comes over. He has observed everything.)

Customer: “Give me my d*** ticket. She’s stealing from me. She probably did charge me for my ticket, but is being a b**** and refusing to give it to me.”

Manager: “I can assure you she has not charged you for the ticket because the cash register won’t even allow it to be added unless there is an adult entree and drink. Would you like to order food to go so you can get a ticket?”

Customer: “What the f***! After such bad service, I am never coming here again!”

(The customer grabs her two kids, and walks out without paying. A customer who has been watching from the counter area comes over.)

Customer #2: “Here’s $30 to cover their bill so you don’t have to, and a tip because she didn’t. May I please have my check?”

(Customer #2 leaves me a sizable tip, and even gives me a compliment. Thank you, lady! That check would’ve had to come out my tips!)

Price-Rise Of The Machines, Part 2

| AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

(A customer is paying for her order at the cash register.)

Manager: “Will that be debit or credit?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Manager: “Would you like to leave a tip?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! If I wanted to leave a tip, I would have left it on the table. That is so rude of you to ask!”

Manager: “No, ma’am, that’s not what I mean. The computer is asking if you want to leave a tip.”

Customer: “Oh, so computers talk now, huh? Just like how the roof talks. And the floors, too. You’re just full of it!”

Price-Rise Of The Machines

Don’t Have Beef With Hinduism

, | Kanpur, India | Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I’m on a trip to India, and decide to eat at a local McDonald’s. In front of me is a pair of American tourists.)

Tourist #1: *in very bad Hindi* “Yes, I want a Big Mac.”

Cashier: “Sir, I understand English, if you would be more comfortable. So you want a Chicken Maharaja Mac?”

Tourist #2: “I thought you said you knew English? A Big Mac doesn’t have chicken, dumb-a**!”

(Hoping to speed this along, I decide to get involved.)

Me: “None of the McDonald’s in India offer beef. The local version of the Big Mac is made using grilled chicken patties instead. It’s actually pretty good.”

Tourist #1: “Man, who the h*** doesn’t eat beef?”

Me: “About one billion Hindus, most of them in India.”

(They both quietly place their orders, all the time mumbling about ‘pandering to locals.’)

Food For Thoughtless, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m waiting for my food at a popular restaurant that calls your order number, and then puts your food up on a counter so you can grab it.)

Cook: “Order number [X].”

(I’m walking, up when a customer runs up and grabs at the food.)

Customer: “What is this? This isn’t what I ordered!”

(The customer starts taking the sandwich apart.)

Customer: “I didn’t order this! What’s this?”

(The customer starts picking parts of the salad out with her fingers.)

Customer: “I ordered a roast beef and soup!”

Cook: “Were you order number [X]?”

Customer: “No. My order number is [Y].”

Cook: “Then that’s not your food. That belongs to someone else.”

Customer: “Well you should have said something!”

(The customer stomps off. I look at my ripped apart sandwich that someone has just been grabbing.)

Me: “I’m order number [X]. Sorry, I tried to speak up.”

Cook: “Don’t worry; I’ll remake that for you. You wouldn’t believe how often this happens.”

Food For Thoughtless

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