Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,248 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Enough To Put You Off The Men-u

    | Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Top

    (I work in a fine dining steak house. A group of middle-aged men have had a bad experience, so the manager asks me to deliver port and cigars on the house to them on the patio.)

    Me: “Hello, gentlemen; we’d like to offer these to you on the house. I understand your experience wasn’t what you expected of us and we sincerely apologize.” *begins handing out the items*

    Customer #1: “Well, look at you. How about you give us a little spin around?”

    Me: “Umm… no. I’m all right, thanks.”

    Customer #2: *laughs* “Oh, are you ‘one of those?'”

    Me: “Sir, if you’re suggesting I’m a lesbian, no. However, I’m not exactly sure what my personal preferences have to do with you.”

    Customer #1: “No need to get uppity, honey! So, what’s it gonna take for you to come hang out with us when you get off?”

    Me: “I beg your pardon? Are you asking how much I am? If so, you can’t afford it.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I’m pretty well off, darlin’.”

    Me: “There’s not enough money in the world, sir.”

    (The group laughs.)

    Customer #1: “Fine. Well, where’s a good gentleman’s club around here? Maybe you can meet us there later and see where this goes.”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t frequent those establishments personally. You may find one on your own time. Secondly, you have chosen to be misogynistic and sexually abusive to the only feminist in this entire building. Think about that. Third, I have never known any true gentlemen who visit strip clubs regularly, which you seem to do. Have a good evening.”

    (My manager’s response? ‘They’re only playing around!’ Needless to say, I quit shortly after that!)

    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

    | Tempe, AZ, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a waitress at a well-known restaurant chain. It is during the holidays. We have a run on pecan pie this afternoon, so I don’t have any ready yet. This takes place after a table of three has finished their meal.)

    Me: “Would you guys like any desert? We have a lovely selection of pies.”

    Customer #1: “What do you have?”

    (I list the several kinds of pie we have available.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cream.”

    Customer #1: “Pumpkin, please.”

    Customer #3: “Do you have any pecan pie?”

    Me: “Not right now. We had a lot of people wanting pecan today, but I can start one thawing for you. It’ll take about 10 minutes.”

    Customer #3: “Never mind, then.”

    Me: “Sorry, I have other pies. Would you like one of those?”

    Customer #3: “No.”

    (I leave and bring out the two pies and the bill, asking them if that was all. They said yes. In ten minutes, I look in on them again.)

    Me: “How was everything?”

    Customers #1 & #2: “Great.”

    Customer #3: “Where’s my pecan pie?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘Never mind.’ I can have it out to you in a few minutes, though.”

    Customer #3: *irritated* “Never mind, then!”

    Me: “Are you sure, sir?”

    Customer #3: *sighs* “Yes.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. You guys have a good day, though.”

    (I leave them and go over to the register because a banquet party of 70+ people are waiting to cash out. Customer #3 comes over to the register to cash out, so I tell him it’ll be a moment because of the line. Instead, he speaks to my manager who happens to be right behind me.)

    Customer #3: *angrily, to my manager* “I never got my pie!”

    Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir.” *turns to me* “Hey, why didn’t he get his pie?”

    (I explain the whole thing.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. There seemed to have been some confusion. I can take the pie off your bill.”

    Me: “It was never on there because he never ordered it.”

    Customer #3: “I want a discount!”

    Manager: “For a pie you never ordered? It’s not on your bill. If it were on your bill, I could take it off.”

    Customer #3: “She is a stupid waitress! I wanted pie! I never got it! I want my meal free!”

    Manager: “And why would I give you a free meal because of a misunderstanding over a pie you never ordered?”

    Customer #3: “BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!”

    Manager: *firmly* “No. Sometimes the customer is very wrong! Please pay your bill as it stands, or I call the cops and you can explain to them why you’re always right, and shouldn’t go to jail over a piece of pie you never ordered.”

    (Customer #3 blushes, pays, and all but runs out leaving his friends to stammer their apologies.)

    Crying Over Spoiled Milk

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I’m working in a restaurant at the bar where we also make coffees. I’m standing at the espresso machine when a male customer approaches to order.)

    Customer: “I’d like a cappuccino with no milk, please.”

    (This confuses me, as milk is a necessary component for cappuccinos.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Do you mean a black coffee? A long black, perhaps? That’s espresso topped up with hot water?”

    Customer: “No, I want a normal cappuccino; just don’t put any milk in it.”

    Me: “Well, that would just be a short black or espresso shot. Is that what you’re after?”

    Customer: “No! Look, it’s not that complicated. Just make me a cappuccino, but leave out the milk.”

    (Still confused, I make up a shot of espresso in a cappuccino cup and show the customer.)

    Me: “Is this what you want?”

    Customer: “No! Ugh! You kids these days don’t know anything about making decent coffees!”

    (I actually have over six years experience making coffees.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I just don’t understand what you want me to make.”

    (The customer storms off back to his table in the bistro. Not long after, a woman comes up to the bar.)

    Woman: “I’d just like to apologise for my idiot of a husband and order a cappuccino with skinny milk. Honestly, how did he expect you to make a cappuccino with no milk at all?”

    (The male customer avoided me for the rest of the evening out of embarrassment, but the woman gave me a nice tip!)

    Training Draining

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (It’s around 12 pm. I’m training a new girl on her third shift. She’s never been on register before, so I’m walking her through it before I teach her how to serve. Our register layout has changed that day, so every employee on shift is re-learning it. All of a sudden, a woman who has been standing in line for around two minutes walks straight up to the register. The register has a sign on it clearly stating that it is closed.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s lunchtime, and you’re training! Do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but this is her training shift and—”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’ve been standing here for ten minutes! You have one girl serving and it’s extremely busy!”

    (We have around five customers besides her, three of whom have ordered and paid.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’ll get you my manager.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time!”

    Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “This girl is being extremely rude to me and refusing to serve me!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but as you can see, this register is closed. Our trainee is currently being trained. If you’ll just step into that line over there, we’ll take your order.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time! Are you all stupid!?. Some of us are on our meal breaks!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This line isn’t even moving!”

    (The manager is needed in two other parts of the store at this point, so she instructs me to have the trainee serve the customer, and then get back to training her.)

    Customer: “Finally. It’s lunch time!”

    (The customer then proceeds to rattle off a long and extremely complicated order. This is difficult for both the trainee and myself and takes around five minutes to put through her order. She begins screaming about slow service around halfway through. The trainee is nearly in tears by this point.)

    Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! You’re so f***ing slow! Don’t you know how to use a register?”

    Me: *finally losing my patience* “No, she doesn’t. That’s what I was trying to teach her before.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You have been extremely rude to my staff, who are only doing as they have been instructed to do. Here is your food.”

    Customer: “You can’t do this to me! I’m going to your owners, and I’m going to your head office! What’s your name? What’s her name?”

    (The manager gives both of our names.)

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU BOTH FIRED!”

    (The customer then proceeds to charge out of the store, still ranting about poor service.)

    Manager: “Yeah, have fun with that.”

    Santa Vs Jason

    , | Campbellton, NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (Our restaurant is promoting several new products for the holidays, and the lobby and seating area are festively decorated. Two young women walk in with bags of Christmas wrap and the like. My manager and I overhear them having a brief conversation.)

    Customer #1: “So, I guess Christmas falls on a Friday this year.”

    Customer #2: “Oh my God. I really hope it’s not on the 13th!”

    Customer #1: “Really, right? That would suck. Let me check the calendar on my phone to make sure.”

    Customer #2: “Good idea! I’m celebrating the night before if it is!”

    Page 88/240First...8687888990...Last