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    Too Much Gravy For The Brain, Part 2

    | Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Could I get the whisky gravy without whisky please?”

    Me: “Of course, I’ll ask the chef to make your dish with plain gravy.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want plain gravy! I want the whisky gravy without the whisky!”

    Me: “Sir, the whisky gravy without whisky is just plain gravy.”

    (This goes on for a minute or two. The customer’s wife turns and whispers to me.)

    Customer’s Wife: “Just bring him plain gravy; it’ll take him a while to figure it out.”

    Related:
    Too Much Gravy For The Brain

    She Also Speaks Ironic

    , | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    (I manage a fast food restaurant. I’m currently serving a customer who is from East Asia. She is clearly new to the country, as she is having significant trouble with the transaction, and I’m finding it difficult to communicate. My coworker steps in.)

    Coworker: “Excuse me, where are you from?”

    Asian Customer: “I am from Korea.”

    (Suddenly, the next customer in line speaks up.)

    Customer: “Racist! You’re a racist!”

    Coworker: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I said you’re a racist! It doesn’t matter where this young lady comes from, she should be welcome in your store. You should feel ashamed!”

    (The shouting customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “You! Do something about her!”

    Me: “I absolutely agree. You see, my coworker here is studying a master’s degree in Asian studies. She was just asking because she could process this transaction in Korean, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese or Indonesian, and didn’t want to look like an idiot by making an assumption about someone she didn’t know.”

    Work Hard, Break A Leg

    , | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m currently recovering from a broken leg. I am at work getting my schedule for the week. As I’m walking out the door, a customer entering the restaurant shoves the door open and hits me right in my bad leg. I fall to the floor, crumple over in pain, and the customer literally steps right over me without a word, as if nothing has happened and I am just in her way. She goes to order at the counter which is being manned by my manager, who has seen the whole thing happen.)

    Manager: “You need to leave.”

    Customer: “Why, because I hit that idiot? He was in my way.”

    Manager: “Yes. That’s one of my employees, and he just had surgery on the leg you hit.”

    Customer: “Well he shouldn’t have been standing there!”

    Me: “I was trying to open the door and leave; I wasn’t just standing in front of the door.”

    Customer: “That’s hardly my problem. Now take my order.”

    Manager: “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, especially self-centered morons. Now get the h*** out of my store.”

    Customer: “F*** you and f*** [restaurant chain]!”

    (The customer storms out, literally walking right over me again.)

    Manager: “[My name], why don’t you go ahead and take tomorrow off? I’ll cover for you.”

    Me: “Thanks, I’m probably gonna need it!”

    Thru Drive Me Crazy

    | Orange County, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am a customer in line in a drive thru. I only have about five minutes as I am already late to class. I listen to the exchange between the person ahead of me and the cashier.)

    Customer: “Okay, I want a #4, with extra cheese. Last time there wasn’t enough cheese on there. I want a #9 with cabbage instead of lettuce. I want a #2 with no tomatoes. I want a #1 with no cheese. I want 5 orders of fries, and a cookie.”

    (I am thinking to myself how this could possibly take any longer. The customer finally finishes, and I order and pull up to pay.)

    Customer: “So you made sure you took all of my requests right? You people are so stupid sometimes! You really just need to listen to what the customer wants.”

    (At this point, I’m feeling bad for the poor young soul behind the cash register. She looks like she is about 18 years old, and about to cry. Also, I’m getting mad because I’m getting held up. I lean my head out of the window.)

    Me: “You know what? Maybe you should realize that this is a fast food place. Not only that, you are in the drive thru. Customizations require extra work, and sometimes people mess up. Also, this girl didn’t do anything to mess up your order yet, so why are you getting mad at her?”

    Customer: *to the cashier* “I… I… I’m sorry…”

    (The customer takes the food and speeds off. I proceed up to the window. The cashier and about five other associates who have heard the exchange all come over to the window.)

    Cashier: “Thank you so much for sticking up for me. This was my second day on the job, and I only took it because my dad is ill, and can’t support my family.”

    Me: “It’s okay; some people can just be so mean!”

    Manager: “As a special thank you, we’d like to give you your meal for free.”

    Me: “Thanks anyway, but I’d rather you give the money to this young lady here. Keep smiling sweetie, and remember that for every jerk in the world, there is always a compassionate stranger.”

    They Made It Through The Wilderness A While Back

    | MN, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am working at a restaurant that has only been open a few months. Since this franchise is new to the area, most people have never seen it before, and we often meet with newcomers. My boss often likes to call these newcomers ‘virgins’, since they have never tried our food. Two ladies walk in, one being the older mother of the middle aged other woman.)

    Boss: “Welcome! Have you guys ever been here before?”

    Younger Woman: “No, we haven’t. This is our first time!”

    Boss: *jokingly calling to the rest of our staff* “Looks like we’ve got some virgins here!”

    Older Woman: *completely serious* “Oh, not for a looong time.”

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