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    Combo Incognito

    , | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (At this restaurant, they take your name when you order, and call it out when your food is ready to be picked up. I’m waiting with other customers for orders.)

    Cashier: “Jessica!”

    (No one comes forward.)

    Cashier: “Jessica? Is there a Jessica?”

    (Again, no one comes forward. Three more orders come out, and in between each, the cashier calls for “Jessica” again. Meanwhile, a customer who ordered before me has been standing right at the counter and is getting impatient.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but these people who just got their orders got here after me. Do you have my order?

    Cashier: “What’s your name?”

    Customer: “Susan.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have any orders for Susan. What did you order?”

    Customer: “I got the #3 combo with a coke.”

    Cashier: “That’s what the order for Jessica has.”

    Customer: “Oh! I gave the name Jessica, but that’s not my name. I don’t like giving my real name.”

    Cashier: “You gave the name Jessica, but didn’t claim the order for Jessica?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s not my name!” *takes her bag and leaves*

    Related:
    Indecisively Incognito

    Some Sprinkles Come With Sergeants

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military, Top

    (At the restaurant where I work, my boyfriend is visiting me. He’s just gotten home from the army and is still in uniform. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: *points at sprinkles* “Excuse me, there is ice in my ice cream!”

    Me: “Sir, those are sprinkles. You asked for rainbow sprinkles.”

    Customer: “They are too cold to be sprinkles, so they must be ice!”

    Me: “The ice cream is what’s making them cold, sir.”

    Customer: “You’re a liar, you b****! Get me your f***ing manager!”

    (Unwilling to take the customer’s abusive behavior, my boyfriend speaks up.)

    My Boyfriend: “Those are f***ing sprinkles, you a**hole! If you don’t like it, then just go home and make your own ice cream!”

    Customer: *quickly exits the restaurant*

    Manager: *to my boyfriend* “You should stop by more often! I’ll even pay you to handle these customers!”

    All You Can Elite

    | New Zealand | Food & Drink

    (I am a server at a buffet-style restaurant. Since the customers get the food themselves, I am there to seat them, clear their plates and assist with any problems.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant's name]. If you will please follow me, I’ll show you to your table.”

    (I take the family of four to their table and point out where to get plates and cutlery from as well as show them the general layout of the buffet.)

    Customer: “So, I’ll have the roast, some potato salad, and a coke.”

    Me: “Uh, sir, this is a buffet restaurant.”

    Customer: “Yeah, so?”

    Me: “There is no menu. You go to the buffet choose the food yourself. That’s the point of a buffet.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I just can’t be bothered waiting in that horrendous line!”

    Bigotry Gets Served

    , | Boca Raton, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a customer standing in line behind another customer at a Mexican fast-food restaurant.)

    Cashier: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Excuse me, but you gay?”

    Cashier: “Um…I mean…yeah, but I don’t see what that—”

    Customer: *menacing* “I’m gonna need you to leave this here store, so a good Christian can take my order. Got that?!”

    (The manager has overheard all this and walks over.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to leave.”

    Customer: “Are you discriminating on me ’cause I’m a Christian?”

    Manager: “No, sir, I am not. I am also a Christian.”

    Customer: “And you, a claimed Christian, hired this sodomite?”

    Manager: “I hired this man because he does his job extremely well and is a good employee.”

    Customer: “But he’s a sodomite!”

    Manager: “You need to leave, now.”

    Customer: “I ain’t leavin ’til I get my here IMMIGRANT food from a good Christian!”

    (Fed up, hungry, and in a rush, I speak up.)

    Me: “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m in too much of a rush to deal with your bulls***. Since you’re being kicked out, I’m going to give my order to the nice cashier over here. You can also go ahead and get something for yourself on my tab, because no one should have to put up with you!”

    (The four other customers behind me clapped, while the customer screamed, “YOU’RE ALL HEATHENS!” and ran out like he was being chased by Satan. On top of that, I got my order on the house!)

    Picked At The Peaks Of Flavor

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work as a server at a vegan cafe when a girl in her twenties walks in.)

    Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a coffee to start. One sugar, two cream.”

    Me: “Sorry, we actually don’t have cream, but we use soy milk.”

    Customer: “Uh, what? Soy milk? Like beans? You put beans in your coffee? That’s gross. Who would put beans in their coffee?”

    Me: “Actually, it’s pretty good, and coffee is actually made of coffee beans, right?”

    Customer: “Haha, could you imagine that? That would be soooo gross!”

    Me: “Well, you could think of coffee beans like seeds, too. But anyway, is soy milk okay in your coffee?”

    Customer: “Seeds?! Haha, imagine that! No, it’s just rich dirt.”

    Me: “Uh, what’s ‘rich dirt’?’

    Customer: “Coffee, duh! You know…the brown powder that they dig from mountains!”


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