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  • The Earnestly Being Important

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a manager of a fast casual sandwich shop that is known for having very busy lunches. On this day, it’s the middle of our lunch rush and the line wraps out the door. We pride ourselves on fast service, and even have an employee out reassuring waiting customers. However, a middle-aged man rushes in, bypasses the line and goes straight to where you order your sandwich.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a big turkey sandwich on regular bread, with no cheese.”

    Employee: “Sir, I understand you’re in a hurry, but so is everyone else here. I assure you the line won’t take long and we can even give you the information to call in your order for next time!”

    Customer: “Do you know who I am? I’m too important for this, just make my sandwich.”

    (The customer then goes down to where they get the toppings put on the sandwich, before the sandwich is even out of the oven.)

    Customer: “I’ll have lettuce, mayo and tomato. Cut that into quarters, too.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, what sandwich did you have today?”

    Customer: “I said I’ll have lettuce, mayo and tomato!”

    Employee: “Oh no, that part is fine, I just want to make sure I know what sandwich is yours.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me?! I just ordered, it’s the next one coming out. Does anyone here even know who I am? I don’t have time for this.”

    (At this point the customer comes down to the cash registers, butts in front of someone who is in the middle of giving their order and continues his little tirade.)

    Customer: “I had a turkey sandwich, a bag of chips and a regular soda.”

    Employee: “Sure, no problem. If you don’t mind though, I’d like to finish ringing up this gentleman in front of you.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? I’m in a hurry here. I can guarantee you that what I do here if far more important than what anyone else does in this line.”

    (At this point my cashier flashes a big smile, and begins to blush.)

    Employee: “Aw, thank you! That just made my day!”

    Customer: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Employee: “Well, sir, you just said you were a very important person and that how you spend your time is also more important than everyone else. Despite all this, you still feel it is just as important to spend your time visiting us today to eat our food. If you’re as important as you say, that must make us pretty darn important too!”

    (Several regular customers in line who overheard my employee agree and start clapping for her. Eventually, the whole store gets in on it. Seeing those individuals react the way they did that day made me proud to call them my employees.)

    Hot Food Can Leave You Feeling Warm & Fuzzy

    , | New Mexico, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the closing shift at a popular fast food place. It is a few minutes to closing, and I am in a hurry to get everything cleaned so I could go home when a police officer walks in.)

    Officer: *pulls out a note* “Um, you guys have baked potatoes, right?”

    Me: “Yes sir, sour cream and chive, bacon and cheese, and chili and cheese.”

    Officer: “The bacon and cheese, and a cheddar burger?”

    Me: “No problem. Was there anything else for you tonight?”

    Officer: “No, I think that’s it. It’s for a girl we just rescued. She got caught up in human trafficking and we wanted to get her something warm to eat.”

    (Shocked, I finished ringing up his order. I immediately tracked down my manager and convinced him to ring it up as a manager meal, which is free. I also wrote a note that said good luck. The officer thanked me and left. A week later, I saw on the news that she made it home safe.)

    Having A Sub-epiphany

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m standing in line behind a very well-dressed, mid-fifties lady.)

    Lady: “What’s the difference between a 6-inch sub and a 12-inch sub?”

    Employee: *shows a 12-inch bread* “Well, this is a 12-inch sub…”

    (She then moves her hand to the middle of the bread.)

    Employee: “…and this is the size of a 6-inch sub.”

    (The lady acts like if she has just found out the meaning of life.)

    Lady: “Oh, so a 6-inch is around half the size of a 12-inch sub!”

    May The Customers Be Ever In Your Favor

    , | Auckland, NZ |

    (I work at a very busy fast food chain, so we often take our customers’ names and call them to the counter when their food is ready.)

    Me:” Your name please, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

    Me: “Thank you, could you please wait by the window? We’ll call you up when your meal is ready.”

    (At this point, I’m thinking that this customer is a bit strange, but I let it pass. A few minutes pass.)

    Coworker: “Primrose Everdeen.”

    Customer: “I volunteer!”

    Related:
    May The Employees Be Ever In Your Favor

    Misbehavior Reaches Critical Mass

    | USA | Family & Kids, Religion

    (My husband and I are sitting a few tables down from a family of six. All of the children are older, the youngest looking about 17, so I didn’t expect any problems until a priest walks in.)

    Teenage daughter: “Hey [brothers' names], look at the priest!”

    Mother: “Shush, don’t embarrass yourself.”

    Son #1: “S***, does this mean we can’t do s***?”

    Teenage daughter: “Oooh, you swore in front of a priest! You’re going to Hell!”

    Son #1: “You’re going to Hell for being a wh***.”

    (The parents look mortified at their behavior. I am shocked, too, especially at a man in his early twenties calling his younger sister a wh***. After chastising them both, the parents go back to conversing with the older daughter until the other two start up again.)

    Teenage daughter: “Hey, [other brother], I dare you to go ask for confession.”

    Son #2: “Seriously, you both need to shut up.”

    Teenage daughter: *completely ignoring her mother’s warning* “You’re scared of a little priest? What’s he going to do? Send me to Hell?”

    (Finally, it appears the priest has had enough, and stands up, approaching the table from the girl’s side.)

    Priest: “First off, young lady, I have heard your mother tell you to be quiet several times. The fourth commandment says honor thy mother and thy father. You, my dear, obviously need some work on that. Secondly, if anyone needs confession at this table, it is you. Thirdly, the makeup doesn’t quite cover the hickey on your neck.”

    (At this, the second son bursts out laughing, and the father profusely thanks the priest for reigning in his now speechless daughter. They ask the priest to join them and insist on paying for his meal. Besides that, on the way out, I hear the mother tell the daughter she’s grounded until she’s 30.)

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