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    Wined And Dined And Fined

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I wait tables at a popular Chicago Italian restaurant that gets a lot of traffic from Cubs fans on game day. Another waitress has a table full of young men who have come down from an affluent suburb to see the game. They’re very friendly, and charming, and drinking up a storm. She drops their check, and goes to serve another customer and comes back to find that they’ have ‘dined and dashed.’ We are required to cover our tickets, so she is now $100+ in the hole, and starts trying to pick up a later shift so she doesn’t lose money. A few other waiters head over to the bar where we usually go after our shifts. One comes back, bursting with excitement.)

    Waiter: “Those guys who stiffed you are all drinking at the bar!”

    (Our restaurant also happens to be a popular cop hangout. One of our regulars, a 6’9″ fierce-looking cop, who is sitting in the poor waitress’s station at that very moment, speaks up.)

    Cop: “Can you take care of her tables for a moment?”

    (The cop takes the waitress down the street to the bar, with several of us following to see the fun, and storms up to the group of young men.)

    Cop: “Gentlemen, I believe you forgot to take care of something this evening.”

    (Horrified, the young men frantically dig through their pockets and start throwing money at her. She ends up with a 50 percent tip!)

    Unbalanced Customer

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A lady comes up to my register with a child on her hip. The boy has to be at least two or three years old, plenty old enough to walk on his own. His mother orders several meals with bright red fruit punch, value sizing all of them.)

    Me: “Here are your drinks. The food will be out shortly. Shall I carry your tray for you?”

    Customer: “No, I’ve got it.”

    Me: “Are you sure? It’s kind of heavy and wobbly, especially with you holding your child in one arm. It’s not a problem at all.”

    Customer: “NO. I’VE. GOT. IT!”

    (I’m still not sure she can get it on her own, but there is nothing I can do at this point.)

    Me: “Okay. I’ll bring your food out when it’s ready.”

    (The customer walks off, and I wince as the tray wobbles unsteadily in her hand. I turn back to my work, but not a minute later there is a huge crash from the back of the dining room, near the entrance to the kiddie play area. My coworker and I rush over to see what is going on. With one hand still holding her son and the other balancing a tray of three 32 ounce drinks, the customer had attempted to open the door to the play area. The busted cups, along with all 96 ounces of fruit punch and ice, are splattered on the floor. Note that there is a large sign posted that bans food or drink from the play area.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Your drinks are ruined. Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll get you some new ones?”

    Customer: “Okay. We’ll be in there.”

    (The customer attempts to step over the large mess and enter the play area.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’ll have to ask you to sit at a table. If you want to watch your kids, we have several right here by the glass wall looking into the playground.”

    Customer: “But I want to eat in THERE.”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but we ask that you don’t bring food or drinks in the play area. There aren’t any tables in there anyway, just two small benches.”

    (The customer continues to get more and more irate.)

    Customer: “But I want to eat in there!”

    Me: *firmly* “Ma’am, please have a seat. Your food will be out in just a minute, and we will get you new drinks. I cannot allow you to break the rules. It’s too easy for the carpet and equipment to get ruined if you spill while in the play area. You’ve already caused a hazard by trying to go inside with two full hands.”

    (While we are speaking, I have to physically catch one little girl who tries to run out the door and slips on the drinks. I also have to stop several other children from nearly having the same accident.)

    Customer: “FINE!”

    (The customer sighed loudly and stalked over to a table. When my coworker came back, I got him to watch the door so I could get towels and a mop. I spent the next five minutes on my hands and knees, cleaning up a mess that temporarily stained both of my hands bright red. I also had to keep an eye out that no children came through quickly and hurt themselves or me. Then I had to spend longer drying it to completely eliminate any chance of injury by anyone. The customer spent the entire time giving me one of the dirtiest glares I have ever seen.)

    A Good Customer Is A Fresh Breath Of Air

    , | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I enter a local fast food place. There’s only one customer ahead of me standing to the side. Just as I get to the counter to place my order he’s given an order of french fries. He lets out an incredibly loud and dramatic sigh, then proceeds to yell at the woman who gave them to him.)

    Customer: “You know, you should just LISTEN to your customers!”

    Employee: “What’s wrong, sir?”

    Customer: “I said I wanted the FRESH ONES!”

    Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t told. That batch just came out a minute ago. It’s still hot from the fryer.”

    Customer: “I KNOW THAT! I specifically said I wanted the fresh batch you were working on!

    Employee: “All right. Again, I didn’t know that, sir. I’m sorry. I’ll take those back and the other ones will be right up.”

    Customer: “It’s just that you should LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER! When he ASKS for something he should GET IT!”

    (By this point all other conversation in the front of the restaurant has stopped and everyone – customers and employee alike – are staring at the man who’s still raising a fuss over something that has essentially already been resolved. He grabs his tray and stomps over to the far side of the counter, standing there with arms folded and huffing like someone a tenth his age. I finally step up to the register.)

    Me: “Yes, I’ll have the [combo meal], and I’d like my soda made FRESH, please. Mix the syrup up yourself. And if you could take a straw and blow the bubbles into it right in front of me that would be great!”

    (The other customer apparently didn’t hear me but at least I got a laugh out of the crew and the other people in line!)

    Customer Service(d)

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (My sisters and I are out shopping and stop by a fast food restaurant for lunch. Both of my sisters still work there, and I have only recently quit to take another job. Several of our good friends work there as well. One such friend is on shift, greeting customers who come in and cleaning tables. When we enter, she comes over and gives us all hugs. Another customer has walked in right behind us, and sees our friend give us all hugs.)

    Customer: “Do I get a hug too?”

    (Without thinking, she hugs him. He just grins and walks off. We all stare at her in shock.)

    Coworker: “I thought he was with you guys…”

    Doesn’t Have A Thought For Food

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I have worked at this restaurant for three years, but for the past six months I have only worked on Sundays. I am covering a shift for a coworker on a Saturday, a day when all of the hamburgers on the menu are half price.)

    Me: “Is everybody ready to order?”

    Customer: “Well, I get the same thing every week but, since apparently you’re new, I guess I’ll have to order today.”

    (I decided it wasn’t worth arguing that I most definitely wasn’t new.)

    Me: “Okay… What would you like?”

    Customer: “I want it medium well, with fries extra crispy.”

    Me: “What is it that you want medium well?”

    Customer: “My hamburger.”

    Me: “Which hamburger would you like?”

    Customer: “The same one I always get!”

    Me: “I understand that ma’am, but as you already mentioned, I haven’t served you before so I don’t know what you usually order.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *to her husband* “What do I usually get?”

    Husband: *shrugs*

    Customer: “Ugh. I just want a regular burger medium well!”

    Me: “Okay, so a plain hamburger medium well with extra crispy fries.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want a plain hamburger!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you want on your burger?”

    Customer: “Cheese!”

    Me: “Okay. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “Swiss!”

    Me: “Okay so that’s a Swiss cheeseburger medium well?”

    Customer: “And bacon!”

    Me: “Okay, so a bacon cheeseburger with Swiss and extra crispy fries?”

    Customer: “Yes! Was that so hard?!”


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