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    Not In His Salad Days Anymore

    , | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Military

    (I am a civilian contractor at a military installation’s dining hall. Unlike some of the comfort facilities at the installation, we don’t have restrictions on who can dine here; as long as they can access the installation, they can eat. It is my turn to tear down the salad bar at the end of dinner. I have taken out all of the utensils and begun to pull the dishes, when an older man in civilian clothing comes up behind me.)

    Customer: “What are you doing with the salad bar?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Did you order a salad?”

    Customer: “No, I just wanted to get a few of these.” *gestures at the fruit mix at the end of the bar*

    Me: “So, you did order a salad bar?”

    Customer: “No, I just wanted to get a few of these.”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “Oh, you mean I have to order a salad bar to get things from the salad bar?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    Food For Reading Your Thought

    | San Bernardino, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My brother and I work at the same store and always order the same lunch at the fast food place in the parking lot. There is another guy that also orders the same lunch every day. The three of us get in line one after the other.)

    Cashier: “$4.79″

    (Customer #1 pays, gets number.)

    Cashier: “$4.79″

    (Brother pays, and gets number.)

    Cashier: “$4.79″

    (I pay, and get my number.)

    Cashier: *to next person in line* “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. May I take your order?”

    (Customer #2 stares at the cashier intently.)

    Cashier: “Sir? May I take your order?”

    (Customer #2 stares harder and cocks his head to the side.)

    Cashier: “Sir?”

    Customer #2: “You don’t know yet?”

    Cashier: “What?”

    Customer #2: “I mean, you’re psychic, right?”

    Cashier: “Oh! No, they just always have the same thing.”

    Customer #2: “Good! I wouldn’t want people reading my mind! Um, I’ll have the number three combo.”

    Stupidity Is Not To Be Sniffed At

    | UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes to the till and orders a tea and a coffee. I make it and take it over to them. Two minutes later the customer is back.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, you gave us the wrong drinks.”

    Me: “Tea and coffee was it?”

    Customer: “Yes”

    Me: “That’s what I gave you.”

    Customer: “But you gave it to us the wrong way round.”

    Me: “Sorry, but can’t you swap them?”

    Customer: “Well, no. She has already smelt it.”

    Playing The Roll Of The Manager

    | Branson, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I have a project due that requires me to dress up really nicely and give a presentation. It goes very well, so my husband decides to take me out to lunch right after the class. I am still dressed up really nicely. The entire time my husband and I have sat at the table, an older man keeps looking at me and shuffling in his seat but I ignore it. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come out, I find him standing outside the ladies’ room.)

    Old Man: *still doing a little shuffle* “You’re out of toilet paper.”

    Me: “What?”

    Old Man: *getting upset* “You’re out of toilet paper in the men’s room!”

    Me: “Uh… I don’t work here. You should find an employee.”

    Old Man: *getting more upset* “But you look like you’re the manager! You sure you can’t get some toilet paper in there? I have to go, but I didn’t want to interrupt your break. But, I really have to go and I shouldn’t have to wait on you to do my business!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I really don’t work here. I just had a big presentation at school today. Again, find an employee and I’m sure they’ll help you.”

    Old Man: “BUT YOU LOOK LIKE THE MANAGER!”

    (Finally after his outburst, the ACTUAL manager came over, asking what was going on. I explained my side and the old man blamed me for the lack of toilet paper! The real manager quickly replaced the toilet paper and even gave me and my husband a free appetizer on the house for our trouble. The old man glared at me throughout the rest of my meal, but hey, free appetizer!)

    All Meals Come Pre-Blessed

    , | USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Religion

    (At the restaurant I work at all of the employees names are written on a wall. A little girl around the age of six and her dad walk in. While waiting for their food she is reading the names out loud and spots the name Jesus.)

    Girl: “Daddy, look, they have Jesus working here! That’s so awesome. Now we don’t have to pray before this meal!”

    (Jesus got a chuckle out of this as the dad quickly explained it is a name pronounced ‘hey-Zeus.’)

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