On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 9

, | USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am in high school. I work at a fast food restaurant. Part of the uniform includes a hat or visor. On this day I am taking orders at the front register. I am handing back change to an older male customer who has been normal so far.)

Me: “Okay, sir, here is your change and your order will be ready in a sec.”

(I then go to take the next customer’s order when the older man grabs the brim of my hat and looks me directly in the eyes.)

Older Man: “Oh, I thought you had brown eyes.”

(A coworker then places his food on the tray and the man walks away without another word.)

Next Customer: “I promise I won’t touch you. I just want a burger.”

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6

Another Way To Water The Plants

| TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(My dad is the customer in this one. He strongly dislikes lemon in water, which of course is a standard way of serving it in many restaurants. He’s noted that if he just says, “No lemon, please,” it often shows up with lemon anyway — servers are human, and it’s easy to forget a request and do it your standard way. He could just take it out, but he feels that it makes the water bitter, so rather than be THAT guy and insist on a new glass when this happens, he’s come up with a way to make the request memorable and thereby end up with un-lemoned water in the first place. I have to admit that it almost always works, and often gets a grin, but one young lady turned the tables on him.)

Me: “I’ll have a [Diet Soda].”

Dad: “I’ll have water, with no fruits and no vegetables in it.”

(A couple minutes later, back comes our waitress, with my soda, and a glass of water … with a big ol’ stalk of broccoli stuck in it! She puts the drinks down, just like this is completely normal, starts to turn away, and then stops and snaps her fingers.)

Waitress: “Oh, that’s right! You were the one who wanted no vegetables!”

(And then while we were dying laughing, she took it away and brought the fruit-and-veggie-free water originally asked for. Definitely the best response ever to his little shtick.)

Assumptions Are The Devil

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a sandwich shop. I’m working the front counter and taking an order from a couple in their 60s or 70s.)

Customer: “What’s that you’re wearing?” *she points to my the Egyptian ankh I wear as a necklace*

Me: “It’s an ankh. It’s an Egyptian symbol of life.”

(Customer talks quietly to her husband for a moment then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Do you think it gives you special powers?”

Me: “No, I just like the symbol and life.”

(Customer confers with her husband again then asks, deadly serious.)

Customer: “So, do you worship the devil?”

Me: “No. I also don’t insult people just because I don’t understand them.”

A Diminishing Set Of Returns

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I am working the drive-thru pretty late at night. A man that seems to be in his mid-20’s pulls up.)

Customer: “I’d like to order [Item].”

Me: “Sure, would you like a drink with that?”

Customer: “A Coke.”

(He deliberately mispronounces it so it sounds like something a lot ruder and snickers.)

Me: “Ah, sure. What size?”

Customer: “I don’t know. What size do YOU think it is? What size suits me?”

(At this point I’m fed up with his poor attempt at innuendo.)

Me: “Well, sir, we don’t have an extra small, but I can give you a small. Please drive through.”

(He shut up pretty quickly, and didn’t even speak to me for the rest of the transaction. I served him a few times after that and he was always very quiet!)

Going Whacko Over A Taco

, | Florence, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I am working in the drive-thru, when a customer who is always missing food pulls up to the window.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Can I have some sauce, too?”

Me: “Yeah, no problem.”

(That’s when I recognized him. I repeat his order and make sure there is absolutely nothing wrong and he agrees with me. I quadruple check the bag and show all the employee’s so everyone knows he got all his food. I even take a picture. He comes back in five minutes later.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t get my taco.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the taco was in the bag when I gave it to you.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not in there now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but when I handed you the food it was in there.”

Customer: “Well, where is it then? Cause it’s not in there.”

(He proceeds to show me the bag.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you must have taken it out because it was in there when I handed it to you.”

Customer: “Okay. Okay. I’ve seen you walking around, man. I’ll find you.”

(He really just threatened me. Like, wow. So I show him the picture.)

Customer: “…That’s not my food.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it was. I just took it a couple minutes ago right before I gave you your food.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Now do you want to threaten me again, or do you want to leave?”

(He left.)

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