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    A Pain In The Nugget

    , | Noblesville, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My brother works at a fast food place. The weekly supply of food is delivered Monday mornings, so by Sunday nights the store has usually run out of something. This particular week a local school had hosted a major youth baseball competition, so there’s been more business than usual and the school had neglected to inform the nearby restaurants about the event. The store is caught completely unprepared. By Sunday night they are out of chicken nuggets, one of their biggest sellers. My brother, working the front counter, has been telling customers upfront that the restaurant is out of some foods. Most of the customers have been nice about it.)

    Lady: “I want a bacon cheeseburger meal, a large fry, two large drinks, and a ten piece chicken nugget meal.”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we are currently out of large drink cups and—”

    Lady: “You’re out of large cups? But that’s the size I always get!”

    Brother: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but we do have medium cups. Will that do?”

    Lady: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

    Brother: “We are also out of chicken nuggets. We do still have chicken patties, so if you’d like a chicken sandwich instead we could get that for you.”

    Lady: “Out of chicken nuggets?! How can you be out of chicken nuggets? Don’t you know that everyone loves chicken nuggets? My kids will only eat nuggets, and I’m not leaving here until my kids have nuggets!”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we have had more business than expected this week and have run out of nuggets. Would your kids like a hamburger instead?”

    Lady: “No, they would not! They only eat chicken nuggets! I demand you sell me nuggets!”

    Brother: “We are out of nuggets. Maybe they would eat a plain chicken sandwich? If they take off the bun the chicken patty would taste just like the nuggets.”

    Lady: “What part of ‘they only eat nuggets’ do you not understand? Let me speak to a manager! I’ll get my nuggets and you’ll be fired for not giving them to me! Just watch!”

    (My brother fetches the manager, who had just been explaining to someone at the drive-through the same thing my brother’s been explaining to this lady. He is already frustrated and does not want to deal with angry customers.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Lady: “This boy refuses to sell me nuggets! I want him fired for his bad service!”

    Manager: “We don’t have nuggets. Order something else.”

    Lady: “I cannot believe the rudeness here! That’s it; I’m leaving! You just lost a paying customer here! I hope you’re happy!”

    (She stormed out. A minute later two kids about six and eight years old come in.)

    Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said we had to come and get our food. Can we get some chicken nuggets, please?”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we’re out of nuggets.”

    Eight-Year-Old: “Then can we get plain hamburgers, please?”

    Brother: “Of course. That’ll be $4.00.”

    Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said you and the boss guy were big dummies. You don’t seem like dummies. It’s not your fault you don’t have any nuggets left.”

    Brother: “Your mother also said you only eat chicken nuggets.”

    Six-Year-Old: “I don’t even like nuggets. I wanted a hamburger anyway.”

    (The manager let my brother give the kids each a free ice cream cone for being polite. They thanked my brother and left the restaurant smiling. Hopefully they’ll teach their mother something about manners!)

    Must Be A Poultrinarian

    | Gold Coast, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I overhear this in a buffet style restaurant in a popular theme park:)

    Customer: “Is this vegetarian?”

    (There is a sign clearly marking to dish as chicken.)

    Waiter: “No, ma’am, it’s chicken.”

    Customer: “I KNOW IT’S CHICKEN! I WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS VEGETARIAN! YOU ARE SO RUDE!” *moves on to next dish* “Is this vegetarian?”

    Waiter: “No, ma’am, that’s chicken, too.”

    Make Me One With Everything

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I’m the weird customer in this one. I AM visiting a friend in New York and still pretty groggy from travel. We stop for lunch.)

    Cashier: “What would you like on your hot dog? Sauerkraut? Cheese?”

    (I am sleepy, but at this point I should clarify I’m from Chicago, where hot dogs are a bit different.)

    Me: “Oh, everything.”

    Cashier: *looking a little… concerned* “Uh, really?”

    Me: *finally realizing what nacho cheese and pickled cabbage would taste like* “Oh, uh, no, guess that would be… silly.”

    (At least the cashier was pretty amused. My friend still teases me.)

    Doesn’t Meet Their Egg-spectations

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A friend and I go boating one weekend with our wives and decide to stop at a diner for breakfast. My friend’s wife is looking over the menu and is having a hard time deciding what to get.)

    Friend’s Wife: *to the waitress* “Can I make my own omelet? I mean, can I get one with whatever I want?”

    Waitress: “Oh absolutely! Tell me what you want and we’ll make it up for you.”

    Friend’s Wife: “Okay, great. I’ll have the Super, Premium, Deluxe omelet but take out the bacon, take out the sausage, take out the peppers, take out the onions, take out the mushrooms and take out the cheddar cheese. Put in some steak and American cheese.”

    Waitress: *with an exasperated look* “So you want an omelet with steak and American cheese?”

    Friend’s Wife: “Yes! Oh, and throw some ham in there, too.”

    (A little bit later we get our food and my friend’s wife, immediately starts picking all the ham out and puts it to the side. She then just picks at the omelet but never eats any of it. The waitress stops by to check up on us.)

    Waitress: “Is everything all right? Is there something wrong with the omelet?”

    Friend’s Wife: “Oh, no. I just don’t like eggs.”

    The Clean Bill Of The Health Club

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (We make various frozen drinks made from primarily milk, ice, and fruit flavored syrup. We have real fruit available and some customers request we make them with that so they are healthier. Note: we are also located in a mall.)

    Customer: “Can I get one of those frozen drinks?”

    (I start making her drink and begin adding syrup.)

    Customer: “Oh, no, can you make it like they do at the health club?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want it made with real fruit?”

    Customer: “No, I just want it made like they do in the health club.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know how they make drinks. I didn’t even know we had a health club in the mall.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not in the mall. It’s the health club! Can’t you just make it like they do?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve never been to your health club and really don’t know how they make their drinks.”

    (She leaves, looking dejected.)

    Customer: “I just wanted it like they make them in the health club.”