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    I’m Driving Thru For Christmas

    , | Vernon, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (We close on Christmas Eve at 3:00 pm, and all employees get the duration of Christmas to spend with their family. It’s 3:20, and we’ve closed the lobby, and are letting all the customers who were in the drive-thru line before 3:00 through. It’s going decently, despite our lack of stock, until the last car.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. What can I get for you?”

    Young Man: “Hi, I’d like a medium Iced Capp, and an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the Iced Capp machine is shut down, as we’re closing for Christmas Eve, and we’re all out of the everything bagel.”

    Young Man: “WHAT!? This is completely unacceptable! You can’t just shut everything down! What time do you close!?”

    Me: “Twenty minutes ago. There should be a sign under the speaker box.”

    Young Man: “Uh… oh.”

    Me: “Yeah… Is there anything else I can get for you?”

    Young Man: “Uh… no, sorry.”

    Me: “Well, have a good one.”

    (The young man drives off and I take off my headset, foolishly believing that I had hit my stupid person quota for the day.)

    Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you finish taking out the trash?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I head out back with the last couple of trash bags, and take the lot of them to the dumpster across the parking lot. As I’m returning, I see a car, trying to drive over the curb and around the pylon barrier blocking the drive-thru that my manager had set up. I approach the vehicle.)

    Me: “Uh, hello? Whatcha up to?”

    Young Woman: “Oh, uh, hi. Yeah, I was wondering if you could like, move these cone-thingys. They’re blocking the drive-thru.”

    Me: “Well, that’s because the drive-thru is closed. The whole store is closed so everyone can spend the holidays with their families.”

    Young Woman: “Wow, that’s like, weird. How are people supposed to know the drive-thru is closed?”

    Me: “Well if the large, orange pylons in front of the entrance are too subtle a hint, there’s also the sign taped to that middle one that says that the drive-thru is closed.”

    Young Woman: “Oh, wow! I didn’t read that!”

    Me: “Literacy is a beautiful thing.”

    Young Woman: “…Huh?”

    Me: “Never mind. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

    (I walked back inside to finish cleaning and wondered about the bleak future of humanity.)

    Christmas Is Spoiled For The Spoiled Customer

    , | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a fast food coffee and doughnut shop. Every year at Christmas we would be the only location within our area that remained open. This year the owners decide it isn’t worth keeping the location open. On Christmas Eve one of our regulars comes through the drive thru.)

    Customer: “It is really unfair that you guys have to work the holidays. You should be at home with your families.”

    Coworker: “Actually, we are closing this year, so we get to enjoy the holidays as well.”

    Customer: “Wait, you are closing? What am I going to do? I need you guys to give me a coffee! How am I going to get through the day without a coffee?”

    Coworker: “Have you ever thought of making it at home?”

    Customer: “No! I can’t do that. It’s too much work! You need to make my coffee.”

    Coworker: “Well, unfortunately, we won’t be here, so you will have to either go without for a day or make your own.”

    Customer: “That’s not fair! What do you expect me to do?”

    (She then drove off in a huff, and came in a couple days later complaining we ruined her Christmas because she couldn’t get a coffee.)

    Can’t Be Free From Customers Like This

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

    (I worked at a steakhouse that had a limited time special, clearly marked on banners outside; “Kids eat free on Tuesdays, with the purchase of an adult entree!” Sometimes, it could bring out the worst in people.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I get you started with an appetizer or beer?”

    Customer: *one adult with two kids* “Uh, yes, we would like your ‘kids eat free’ special, please! Both of the kids will have the child’s steak dinner, medium rare, with baked potato, and does it come with soup or salad?”

    Me: “The adult entrees come with soup or salad, so you can share yours with them if you like, or would you like to order an extra for them?”

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t going to order anything; I’m not very hungry.”

    Me: “I apologize for the confusion. The ‘kids eat free’ deal is with the purchase of an adult entrée.” *I point to the advert on the table, where it repeats the banner*

    Customer: “This is how you get the customers? You trick us into coming in saying that kids eat free?!”

    Me: “The kids DO get to eat for free. Restaurants would go out of business if they only offered free meals with no purchase required. But with this deal, you save quite a bit! It comes to the equivalent of ‘buy one and get two free.’”

    Customer: “Fine! What is the cheapest adult entree you have? And sodas come with their meals, right?”

    Me: “Yes, they get a child’s souvenir cup with their choice of drink. And the BBQ chicken is our current special for $9.95. It does come with soup, too.”

    Customer: “Child’s cup size? Can we just get it in a larger size so you don’t have to make as many trips?”

    Me: *looking at the three- and four-year-olds* “The adult glasses are fairly large and heavy. For young children we have plastic, non-spill cups.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that, and more of your free bread, like, two more loaves for now. And I’ll have a water to drink.”

    (When I bring her the sixth refill on both kid’s drinks and her soup, there are crackers on the dish.)

    Customer: “I didn’t order crackers! Take those off my bill!”

    Me: “Ma’am, like the bread, we don’t charge for crackers.”

    Customer: “Really? They are free? In that case, I’d like more, like, a lot more!”

    (The customer continued that way the entire evening. In the end, after running me ragged with countless refills of the “kids” sodas and anything free, she then emptied out the sugar caddy, stole the condiments from the table, and left EXACT change for the bill. When the manager and I watched her pack the kids in her Porsche Cayenne, we noticed her take out of her HUGE purse a ton of water bottles filled with soda and resealable bags full of loaves and crackers. She later called to complain, saying that the meal was unsatisfactory and she would like an additional dinner for three on us.)

    Reduced Intelligence, Not Reduced Hours

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (The restaurant I work at is open 24 hours and does not close for holidays. It is less than a week before Christmas when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling 24 hour [Restaurant]. [My Name] speaking. We are open all night Christmas Eve and Christmas day. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, how late will you be open on Christmas Eve?”

    Me: “We will be open 24 hours during the holidays. We don’t close.”

    Customer: “So, when do you open on Christmas?”

    Me: “We will be open non-stop from now through the foreseeable future unless weather causes the store to lose power.”

    Customer: “So, do you have reduced hours on Christmas?”

    (This exchanged happened to all of us working every shift for the following week at least three times a shift.)

    A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (It’s Christmas Eve. I’m waiting tables with one other waitress for the night at a diner. This waitress is a sweetheart, but has had a terrible year. She was evicted from her apartment shortly after her boyfriend died, leaving her a homeless single mother, crashing on couches, trying to finish her last year of nursing school. A man who comes in regularly asks to be placed at one of her tables. He orders a single cup of coffee, and asks for the check.)

    Customer: “Miss, I have my money to pay.”

    Waitress: “All right. So, that’s $1.10.”

    (The customer takes her hand in his, places a wad of money in it, and closes it.)

    Customer: “Merry Christmas. Keep the change.”

    (He left without saying another word. She opened her hand and burst into uncontrollable tears when she found $500.00 with a note that said ‘For Mama and Baby.’)

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