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    Salad With A Side Order Of Obnoxiousness

    | Jacksonville, Fl, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am a waitress at a pizza restaurant. We use a number system to place orders. Each ticket gets a number to put on their table for us to bring the food to them. My boss, the cook, has two different orders of the same salad, one small for table four, and one large for table five, which is supposed to be shared.)

    Boss: *handing me the large* “This one goes to table four.”

    (I take the salad to the table and come back to pick up the next order.)

    Boss: *handing me the small* “Actually, this one goes to four. The other one goes to five.”

    Me: “I took the other one to four already!”

    Boss: “Then go get it back!”

    (I go over to the table with the new salad. Luckily they have not eaten it yet.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but I gave you the wrong salad. This one’s yours.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The one I gave you is a large. It’s supposed to be shared. You ordered a small. The large is for the next table over.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (The customer takes the small salad from me. I reach for the large salad, and the customer picks up her fork, licks it, and sticks it in the salad.)

    Customer: “You gave it to me, so it’s mine. Where’s my pizza?”

    Customer At The Other Table: “We’re still going to need that salad.”

    (I was speechless. I went back to my boss and told him what happened. He then yelled at me for not stopping the customer. Then he refused to make another salad. Table five came back inside to get a refund on the salad, which meant the boss had to come over. I got yelled at again for ‘not making them pay for it.’ I quit after that.)

    The Bruise Is A Ruse

    , | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Holidays

    (The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume I would slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but would just remark on what a good job I had done with the makeup. Then a gentleman pulls up to the window.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

    Me: *joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”

    Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”

    Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”

    (I wipe my finger on the ‘bruise’ and show him the color on my finger.)

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”

    Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”

    Customer: “I bet you would!”

    Feeling Entitled To Be Untitled

    | Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (One man, probably in his mid-twenties, is sitting with two similarly-aged attractive women.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, ladies and gentle sir. My name is [Name] and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menus?”

    Female #1: “I’ll take a Coke.”

    Female #2: “Me, too.”

    Me: “Okay. Two Cokes, and… for you, sir?”

    Guy: “Don’t call me ‘sir’! I’m too young to be a ‘sir.’”

    Me: “Yeah, I know how you feel. Can I get you anything to drink though, s- uh, mister?”

    Guy: “Don’t call me mister, either! And I’ll have an iced tea.”

    Me: “Okay, okay. Sorry. Two cokes and an iced tea, coming right up.”

    (I get the drinks quickly and come back to their table.)

    Me: “Right, here we go. Two cokes for the lovely young ladies, and an iced tea for… ah, young master.”

    Guy: *buries his face in his arms in shame as the women burst out laughing*

    It’s Off Season

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

    Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

    Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

    Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”

    Closed To All Reason

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

    Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

    (I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

    Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

    (At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

    Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

    (The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

    Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

    (Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)

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