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    No Plaice For A Jedi

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I have just placed an order at a fish ‘n’ chips restaurant.)

    Cashier: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir. Your order number is 66.”

    Me: “Huh. How many Order 66′s do you get through every day?”

    Cashier: “Two, sometimes three.”

    Me: “Wow, all those poor Jedi…”

    Salad With A Side Order Of Obnoxiousness

    | Jacksonville, Fl, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am a waitress at a pizza restaurant. We use a number system to place orders. Each ticket gets a number to put on their table for us to bring the food to them. My boss, the cook, has two different orders of the same salad, one small for table four, and one large for table five, which is supposed to be shared.)

    Boss: *handing me the large* “This one goes to table four.”

    (I take the salad to the table and come back to pick up the next order.)

    Boss: *handing me the small* “Actually, this one goes to four. The other one goes to five.”

    Me: “I took the other one to four already!”

    Boss: “Then go get it back!”

    (I go over to the table with the new salad. Luckily they have not eaten it yet.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but I gave you the wrong salad. This one’s yours.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The one I gave you is a large. It’s supposed to be shared. You ordered a small. The large is for the next table over.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (The customer takes the small salad from me. I reach for the large salad, and the customer picks up her fork, licks it, and sticks it in the salad.)

    Customer: “You gave it to me, so it’s mine. Where’s my pizza?”

    Customer At The Other Table: “We’re still going to need that salad.”

    (I was speechless. I went back to my boss and told him what happened. He then yelled at me for not stopping the customer. Then he refused to make another salad. Table five came back inside to get a refund on the salad, which meant the boss had to come over. I got yelled at again for ‘not making them pay for it.’ I quit after that.)

    The Bruise Is A Ruse

    , | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Holidays

    (The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume I would slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but would just remark on what a good job I had done with the makeup. Then a gentleman pulls up to the window.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

    Me: *joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”

    Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”

    Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”

    (I wipe my finger on the ‘bruise’ and show him the color on my finger.)

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”

    Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”

    Customer: “I bet you would!”

    Feeling Entitled To Be Untitled

    | Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (One man, probably in his mid-twenties, is sitting with two similarly-aged attractive women.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, ladies and gentle sir. My name is [Name] and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menus?”

    Female #1: “I’ll take a Coke.”

    Female #2: “Me, too.”

    Me: “Okay. Two Cokes, and… for you, sir?”

    Guy: “Don’t call me ‘sir’! I’m too young to be a ‘sir.’”

    Me: “Yeah, I know how you feel. Can I get you anything to drink though, s- uh, mister?”

    Guy: “Don’t call me mister, either! And I’ll have an iced tea.”

    Me: “Okay, okay. Sorry. Two cokes and an iced tea, coming right up.”

    (I get the drinks quickly and come back to their table.)

    Me: “Right, here we go. Two cokes for the lovely young ladies, and an iced tea for… ah, young master.”

    Guy: *buries his face in his arms in shame as the women burst out laughing*

    It’s Off Season

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

    Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

    Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

    Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”


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