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  • Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (At the restaurant all ‘extra’ items are served on the side, such as lemons for water or extra dressing, as well as a few of the sides. One of the customers has ordered a water with lemon, and this occurs after I set down her glass.)

    Customer: “I said I wanted water with lemon. Why are you incapable of doing anything right?”

    (I set out down the dish of lemons that was on my tray with the remaining drinks.)

    Customer: “Oh, usually people forget them.”

    Me: “Okay, well, are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “Yes, I will have [Food], with a side of ranch, ketchup, and [several other extra items]. And you better not forget anything, I am so tired of having to ask six times for everything.”

    Me: “I won’t forget anything.”

    Customer: “Yeah, right; you people always forget something.”

    Me: “Okay, I will do my best.”

    (Since it this is a larger table, when the food is finally ready it takes three servers to carry out the food. I set the customers food down first.)

    Customer: “Where is my ketchup, ranch, and [several other items]? I knew you would forget them. You are completely worthless!”

    Me: “I have them but they are on the next few trays.”

    (I gesture to the two servers behind me waiting with the rest of the order.)

    Customer: “No, it’s not. You’re just making excuses for your incompetence.”

    (The customer continues to yell at me the entire time I am passing out the food while watching me to be sure I don’t sneak back to get items that I forgot. After I am done I look at the customer.)

    Me: “Is there anything else you need?”

    (The customer looks at the food and starts to pout. Her husband, who has been silent this entire time, finally speaks, obviously somewhat annoyed.)

    Husband: “Well, I don’t think she forgot anything did she, honey? It looks like she brought everything you wanted.”

    Customer: “Well, yeah, but she only got everything so that she could make me look bad.”

    (The customer did not say another word the rest of the time the were there. Instead she just glared angrily at me!)

    If Only She Could Hear Herself

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I am totally deaf in my left ear and partially deaf in my right. I wear a regular hearing aid in my right ear and have a cochlear implant in my left. I’m now 19, and working in a very posh restaurant. I’m serving a party of 10. There is a couple who comes in quite regularly who are the ‘hosts’ of this group. The husband is okay but the wife is really snobby and has caused us problems before.)

    Me: “Good evening. Is everyone ready to order?”

    Wife: “Could you get the manager for me? Now!”

    Me: “Of course, madam. Is there anything I can do for you?”

    Wife: “No! Just get him.”

    (I go and get my boss but have no explanation why he is needed.)

    Boss: “Good evening, madam. How may I help you tonight?”

    Wife: “How dare you let your staff wear headphones? We spend a lot of money in here and we expect a certain type of service. This is most distressing.”

    (Most of the other guests look really uncomfortable as they realise she’s talking about me and it’s obvious that I have hearing aids.)

    Boss: “Madam, I can assure you we do not allow that. If you could point out the server who is wearing them I’ll happily sort this out for you.”

    Wife: “For God’s sake! It’s the girl!” *she points to me as I’m still standing at the table* “We are in here all the time and I have never known such disregard for the customer.”

    Boss: “I’m really sorry. There’s no way you deserve to be treated this way.”

    Wife: “I should think so. I just—”

    Boss: “Not you. I was talking to my employee and friend. You—” *referring to the wife “—on the other hand are a despicable human being. How dare you come in here and talk to a member of my staff like that? It is massively, plainly obvious that she is wearing hearing aids. Everyone else at your table can see that. Now you have not only embarrassed yourself and the rest of your table but also my staff member. I’m very sorry but I have to ask you to leave, madam. The rest of your table may stay if they so wish but I simply cannot have my staff treated that way. Please leave. Now.”

    Wife: “Well! I think you’ll find you’ve just made a very big mistake talking to me like that. You have lost a lot of business from us. My husband here is a solicitor and he will—”

    Husband: “That’s enough. I’m really sorry. We’ve been served by your waitress before and know she wears hearing aids, and I’m not a solicitor.” *to his wife* “I think you need to go home. I’m hungry; I would like to order, please.”

    (The wife looks about the table as the rest of the guests sit there in silence. She then gets up and flounces out. I take everyone’s order and the rest of the evening goes very smoothly. When the guests ask for the bill the husband calls me over.)

    Husband: “I’m really sorry about my wife. Do you know, I don’t work and neither does she. I won the money on the lottery. Before we were rich I was an accountant and she worked in a shoe shop. I really have no idea why she’s like that. I promise I’ll never bring her in here again.”

    (The meal itself cost over £400 and I made a massive tip as everyone at the table felt really badly. The husband still comes in with friends but never brings his wife. He asks for me to serve him and always tips really well but I share the tips now!)

    Charged With Stupid Indignation

    | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer presents two coupons, both for large sandwiches.)

    Customer: “Can I use these both?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Okay can I get a [Sandwich #1] and a [Sandwich #2]. But I want extra lettuce, tomato, and sauce on that one. And can I get one fish sandwich?”

    Me: “Sure, just let me take these two coupons off for you, okay?”

    (I give her the two free sandwiches so she’s only paying for one.)

    Customer: “All right, that sounds good to me!”

    (Her order is finished, she has the bag, her coupons were taken off, everything seems perfect. But of course, it isn’t.)

    Customer: “Ma’am?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Is there something wrong here?”

    Customer: “Well, yeah, you charged me for two sandwiches.”

    Me: *checks the receipt* “The only sandwich you paid for was the one with extra toppings. They came to a little more, but I assure you, you only paid for one of the three.”

    Customer: “No, you charged me. Look here.” *points to the one sandwich she paid for*

    Me: “Yes, I charged you for that sandwich. But where it says ’1P,’ means it was free. There is one on the [Sandwich #1] and one on the fish.”

    Customer: “But you charged me for two sandwiches.”

    Me: *speaks a little slower* “The 1P next to the sandwiches make them $0. Free. You have two free sandwiches. Two.”

    Customer: “Ma’am. You charged me for two.”

    (I wanted to bash my head into the register. Finally after about six minutes, she finally understood that I only charged for one sandwich, and then left happily.)

    Promo Is Too Slow-Mo

    , | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Money, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a very large, well know fast food company. I am a manager, and coupons can only be taken off by a manager. Every single time there is a coupon I have to put in a code. Every. Single. Time.)

    Me: *in the front of the store filling orders*

    Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

    Me: *runs to opposite end of the store to take it off*

    Me: *goes back up front to correct a customer complaint*

    Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

    Me: *knows line can’t move until I take it off, but I can’t leave the customer*

    Me: *finally takes off the coupon in drive-thru*

    Crew Member #2: “I need a promo!”

    Me: *runs back to the front of the store*

    (The phone rings. It’s a customer inquiry.)

    Crew Member #1: “PROMO, PLEASE! AND I NEED A DISCOUNT!”

    Crew Member #2: “Can I get a promo?”

    (I talked on the phone while bagging orders while promo-ing off the front order, then ran to the back, still picking up the food items I needed on the way, promo-ing that off while still answering a customer’s question while having the headset on to make sure my drive-thru people are taking the correct orders. Needless to say, I left the coupon button on automatic for the rest of the day. Coupons are a lot more work than you think. F*** that s***!)

    They Won’t Stop For Muffin

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a cook working the breakfast shift. I notice two women sitting at the bar arguing with the waitress. We no longer serve bagels due to lack of sales and a high volume of losses, this being specified on the menu.)

    Customer #1: “So, do you guys serve like bagel sandwiches. You know like the ones at [Popular Chain Restaurant]?”

    Waitress: “I’m sorry, but those are not offered on the menu.”

    Customer #2: “But you can make it right?”

    Waitress: “Is it on the menu?”

    Customer #2: “No, but can you?”

    Waitress: “It’s not on the menu, so I”ll have to say no.”

    Customer #2: “You do make breakfast sandwiches though?”

    Waitress: “Well, that is on the menu so yes.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, so we’ll take the English muffin.”

    Waitress: “Okay.”

    Customer #1: “But I want to switch the ham for bacon.”

    Waitress: “We can do that.”

    Customer #1: “I’ll also want lettuce and tomato in it.”

    Customer #2: “At the same time we’d like to switch the English muffin for a bagel.”

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