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    Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

    Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

    Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

    Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

    (The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*

    Got Him Out Of A Pickle

    | AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It is nearing the end of my shift and I am busy with cleaning the lobby since I have no customers. A girl’s volleyball team from one of the local schools enters and I wait on them. When they sit at their tables, they begin getting quite loud and obnoxious, deliberately spilling their meals everywhere, and some even throwing pickles at the window and seeing if they could really race them as they slid down, like in the movie ‘Billy Madison.’ While they are getting ready to leave, I am getting the mop bucket and such ready to clean up the mess straight away. The coach of the volleyball team stops me.)

    Coach: “Give me those.”

    Me: “Oh, no, sir. It’s quite all right. This is just part of my job.”

    Coach: “I understand that, but my girls were very irresponsible tonight. I need to teach them this kind of behavior is not acceptable.”

    (In a surprised daze, I give all my cleaning supplies over to the man and he gathers up all the girls.)

    Coach: *to his team* “You think this kind of behavior is funny? That you can just come in here, make complete fools of yourself, trash the place up, and just leave? I expected better from all of you. I hope you all have as much fun doing this young man’s job for him as you had making this mess.”

    (The coach forced his entire team to clean up the mess, from sweeping to mopping to cleaning off the windows, until the entire lobby was clean. The entire time he watched with a look of disappointment. I applauded the man for taking amazing action with teaching a lesson above and beyond a spot.)

    Very Black Comedy

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (My friend and I arranged a double date to introduce my girlfriend and me to his girlfriend, who is blind and uses a guide dog. We went to a fairly fancy restaurant that keeps the lights low. Her guide dog is a black lab, so there are a few close calls from passing servers. Shortly after having the appetizers delivered to us we’re approached by one of the servers.)

    Server: “Hello. I’m so sorry to inconvenience your party this evening, but we noticed that your guide dog is quite dark and hard to see in the aisle. If it’s not too much of trouble would you mind if we relocated you a part of the restaurant with less traffic?”

    (The server motions towards one of the unoccupied booths at the back corner of the restaurant. We’re pretty much right in the path from the kitchen to the rest of the restaurant.)

    Me: “What, because he’s black you’re going to toss us at the back of the restaurant?!”

    (The server stands there for a few seconds wide eyed and stammering, obviously not knowing what to say. My friend and I lose our poker face and break down into laughter.)

    Friend: “Don’t worry about it, man. We’re just f****** with you. If you didn’t ask us, we were going to ask you if we could move anyway.”

    Fresh Coffee With An Extra Shot Of Crazy

    , | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’d be happy to take your order!”

    Customer: *on a cell phone* “…I know! I can’t believe it! I told him I just want that d*** whore out of my house!” *continues conversation*

    Me: “Ma’am? May I help you?”

    Customer: “Is your coffee fresh?”

    Me: “Not at the moment, but I’d be happy to start you a fresh pot!”

    Customer: “WHAT? I’m on OXYGEN! I don’t want to DIE!”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am? It wouldn’t affect—”

    (The customer drives around to the window.)

    Me: “So you did want the coffee, then?”

    Customer: “Sorry about that! You didn’t hear any of that conversation did you?”

    Me: “Well, yes, ma’am. Every employee with a headset can hear everything said at the speaker.”

    Customer: *pays for her coffee* “OH! I’m so sorry, honey; I just want that d*** whore out of my house!”

    (The customer got her coffee and drove away. The rest of us were left scratching our heads as witnesses to the level of crazy that just left.)

    Lucky In Card(ed)s

    , | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    Waitress: “What would you like to drink?”

    Me: “I’ll have a rum and Coke.”

    Friend: “I’ll have Guinness.”

    Waitress: “May I see some ID?”

    (My friend and I look at each other in shock. I am just shy of turning 50 and my friend is in his mid-50s, and we both have classic male pattern baldness. There isn’t a chance on earth either of us could be confused with being minors.)

    Me: “Are you serious?”

    Waitress: *looking a bit embarrassed* “It’s policy.”

    (Generally, policy is to card people who look 30 or under. We don’t even look close to that. My friend is from England where carding is basically non-existent.)

    Friend: “Young lady, I have never once been carded in my entire life. Congratulations, you are the very first.”

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