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    Cappuccino-no

    , | SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I’m waitressing when one of our baristas calls me over. She asks me to go to one of the tables and confirm that the elderly customer had ordered a long black and a cappuccino, as she had forgotten to write it down. The customer confirms this, and I take the order out to the customer and her husband who has now joined the table.)

    Me: “Okay, long black?”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    Me: “And your cappuccino, sir.”

    Customer: “That was supposed to be a flat white!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry; I thought I confirmed with you that it was a cappuccino.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I forgot what my husband usually orders!”

    (The husband spoke up and half-heartedly told me a cappuccino will do. I apologised again and then walked off wondering what part I had to be sorry for!)

    A Big Gap In Their Knowledge

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Me: “Hi—”

    Customer: *cuts in* “Hey, I see a couple outside eating this thing. I don’t know what’s the name of it.”

    Me: “Um… could you please describe it to me?”

    Customer: “I don’t know how to describe it, it’s a… it’s a big thing.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “I want it!”

    Me: “…”

    Running Afoul Of The Customer

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work in the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant. The day before, I tripped and fell while jogging. As a result, all the skin on my knuckles, my palms, my elbows, and my right cheek is gone. I’m heavily bandaged for aesthetic and sanitary reasons. I’ve been fielding questions all day about them. A guy drives up to pay for his order.)

    Customer: “Wow, what happened to you?”

    Me: “I had a jogging accident.”

    Customer: “A jogging accident?”

    Me: “Yeah, I tripped over my own two feet and landed hard.”

    Customer: “That sucks. You need a better cover story.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Tell people you fell off the back of a motorcycle. That’s so much cooler!”

    Me: “…”

    A Beguiling Bagel

    , | Raleigh, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work as a sandwich maker at a fast food bagel shop. We make our sandwiches in front of the customer so they can request changes as we build the sandwich. Our featured breakfast sandwich of the month is the sriracha bagel; it is basically a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel but with peppers and sriracha sauce. It’s a slow day, and a young man approaches the counter.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a sriracha bagel.”

    Me: ” All right, what kind of bagel would you like that on? It usually comes on a plain bagel.”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. A plain bagel, I guess. Oh, and can I get that with bacon instead of sausage?”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    (I grab the bagel, slice it open and begin to assemble the sandwich. I go to get the peppers.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

    Me: “Those are the peppers that go on the sandwich.”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t like peppers. Can you leave those off?”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    (I leave the peppers off, and place the bacon, egg, and cheese onto the bagel. I’m about to put the sriracha sauce on the bagel.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what is that?”

    Me: “This is the sriracha sauce. It’s what gives the sandwich its name.”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t like spicy things. Can you leave that off?”

    Me: “Okay, sure. So, just to make sure: all you want is a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel?”

    Customer: “Yea. Hey, why don’t you guys just have that on your menu?”

    (I had to struggle not to say anything as the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich is the first thing listed under “Breakfast Sandwiches” on the menu. The worst part is when he got to the register he insisted on being charged for the sriracha instead of a bacon egg and cheese, and so he paid about a dollar more for his sandwich.)

    Twice As Stupid

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a restaurant where we ‘twice fry’ our fries. We cut them ourselves then blanch them, a process of semi cooking them, then fry them to order later. They are listed on the menu as twice fried. We get an order on the screen that has the fried modified to say ‘once fried only.’)

    Fry Cook: “Once fried? They want uncooked fries?”

    Waitress: “That’s what they said. I tried to explain that would be a soggy, uncooked fry. They won’t listen.”

    Fry Cook: “I can’t send that out.”

    Sous Chef: “Just send out the regular fries and don’t say anything.”

    Waitress: *coming back 30 minutes later* “Well, they loved their ‘once fried’ fries, and insisted they were soooo much better than our normal fries. They asked, how come we didn’t always make them like this?”

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