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    Needs A Taste Of Common Sense

    | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A table orders a bottle of wine, so I go over to open it in front of them, let them taste it, and pour it for them. It’s standard procedure when you order a whole bottle.)

    Me: *after opening the bottle* “So, who would like to taste it?”

    Woman: *snaps* “Well, you already opened it so I guess we’ll just have it.”

    Me: *pours their glasses and leaves while wondering how she expected to taste it without me opening the bottle*

    Sandwiched Between The Truth And The Law

    | Kirksville, MO, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (A customer who is also a police officer comes through the drive thru with an empty sandwich box and his receipt. We ran out of the double quarter boxes so we’ve been using regular quarter ones and placing a sticker on top to tell them apart. This customer has one of the regular boxes with a sticker. He states he was given the wrong sandwich and demands another one even though the receipt is for double quarter and the box is correct. I ask my manager.)

    Manager: “No. If the receipt and the box are both correct and they’ve already eaten the sandwich, I’m not going to just give him free food.”

    (I return to the customer.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but both the box and the receipt are for a double quarter pounder and multiple coworkers say they checked it, and it was correct before you ate it.”

    Police Officer: “Are you saying I’m a liar?”

    Me: “I’m not saying you’re a liar—”

    Police Officer: “Me? An officer of the law? You’re saying I’m lying just to get free food! This is ridiculous!”

    Me: “Sir, I didn’t say you’re a liar. I’m saying we can’t prove it was the wrong sandwich because the box is correct and you’ve already eaten the food.”

    Police Officer: “But you charged me for a double sandwich and gave me a single.”

    Me: “Except the box—”

    Police Officer: “I’m an officer of the law. Do you think I would just lie?! YOU CHARGED ME FOR THE WRONG SANDWICH.” *starts getting very confrontational*

    Me: “Which you ate. The box is for what you paid for. My coworkers double check the orders and make sure they’re correct. I’m not saying you’re a liar, but everything on our end says it is the right sandwich, and my manager has already said no.

    Police Officer: “What?! Are you kidding me? I want to speak to them immediately.”

    (I give up and go get my manager. She tries to reason with him for a good minute before I hear him yell something I can’t understand and he speeds off.)

    Manager: “He tried to pull Ferguson on me, saying we would have given him his food if it wasn’t for that shooting. I told him I didn’t know what I could do for him, but it wasn’t going to be a sandwich!”

    Unfortunate Opening Words

    , | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Time

    (I am prepping the store for open, and can see [Regular] standing right outside the front door, waiting for nearly 15 minutes.)

    Me: *unlocking the door and exactly six am, our open time* “Good morning, [Regular]! I’ve got some coffee already brewed for you.”

    Regular: “Boy, you guys sure wait until the laaaast minute to open those doors.”

    Me: “Well, we open at six, which it just turned right now.”

    Regular: “Yeah, I know. Still. You’ve been here a while already….”

    Hotly Disputed

    , | Tempe, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Good morning, [Regular]. I was just about to make some fresh coffee, since this pot is almost 45 minutes old. Did you want some of this or would you like to wait for the fresh pot.”

    Regular: “The fresh pot; I want the hot, fresh stuff.”

    (I bring her a hot, fresh cup six minutes later, right after it finished brewing.)

    Regular: “Can you get me some ice cubes for this? I don’t know why you guys have to brew it so hot. I practically gotta let it sit for half an hour before I can touch it…”

    A Very Crisp Line

    , | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work the opening shift at a fast food restaurant that’s well-known for their chicken. We have an elderly, regular customer who is originally from the New England area, as made obvious by both her accent and attitude. Every week, she has a new complaint. These are some of my favorites.)

    Me: “Good morning, [Regular]! What can I get for you today?”

    Regular: “I wanna get a number three with the bacon EXTRA crispy. Last week, you guys didn’t make it extra crispy like I like it!”

    Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll make sure it gets made correctly this time.”

    (The next week:)

    Me: “Good morning, [Regular], having the usual today?”

    Regular: “Yeah, but make sure the bacon isn’t too crispy. You guys made it WAAAY to crispy last time.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize they had burnt it!”

    Regular: “It wasn’t burnt, just too crispy. I want it extra crispy, but not TOO crispy.”

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