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No Eggo For The Vego

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am serving on the registers over breakfast, when a female customer approaches.)

Customer: “I’m vego.”

Me: *realising she means she’s a vegetarian* “Umm… okay?”

Customer: “So I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with no egg.”

Me: “A bacon and egg muffin without egg?”

Customer: “Yep, I’m vego.”

Me: “So you want the bacon on the muffin”?

Customer: “Yep, but no egg. I’m vego.”

Me: “…”

Buying A Drive At The Drive-Thru

, | Olathe, KS, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It is my first night working the drive-thru by myself on the side we lovingly call ‘The Hole,’ due to how removed it is from the rest of the store, as well as the fact that it is freaking cold in winter.)

Me: *chipper* “Hello and welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I take your order?”

Customer: *rambles off order* “Oh, and, uh, could I get the green ’96 Plymouth Breeze?”

Me: *confused* “…I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: *serious tone* “There’s a green ‘96 Plymouth Breeze out here and I was hoping I could pay for it here.”

Me: *still slightly confused* “I don’t know anything about that, sir. Can I still get you your food?”

Customer: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

Sick Of Their Complaints

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a Chinese restaurant in a small town, and a couple come in whilst we have a few people eating in. I have seen them in here a few times, and they are known around the town for being alcoholics. The woman is constantly complaining and trying to take things (such as magazines in the waiting area). On this particular night they are complaining about their food last night.)

Husband: “We want a full refund. Your food last night made us sick. I went to the toilet three times and vomited straight after eating it.”

Me: “Sir, if it was food poisoning you wouldn’t have felt it until later, not right away.”

Husband: “It was food poisoning and I know it. I know what it was. We come here all the time and we never complain, but I’m sick of it now. We’re going to tell the whole town about this and we’re never coming back.”

Me: “With all due respect sir, your wife complains almost every time you get food from here.”

Husband: “Yeah, but she’s a b****. I’m the one complaining now!”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

, | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in the back making orders. One comes up on the screen for a burger, no tomato. The cashier gets my attention.)

Cashier: “[My Name], that ‘no tomato’ is an allergy.”

(I go through the normal process of swapping utensils, cleaning the work area and so forth. I start making the burger and pause halfway as a thought occurs.)

Me: “Hey, [Cashier], that tomato allergy? It’s no ketchup either, then?”

(The cashier asks.)

Cashier: “No, they said it’s fine. Actually they want extra.”

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

Needs A Taste Of Common Sense

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A table orders a bottle of wine, so I go over to open it in front of them, let them taste it, and pour it for them. It’s standard procedure when you order a whole bottle.)

Me: *after opening the bottle* “So, who would like to taste it?”

Woman: *snaps* “Well, you already opened it so I guess we’ll just have it.”

Me: *pours their glasses and leaves while wondering how she expected to taste it without me opening the bottle*

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