October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Special Case Of Special Treatment

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I’m a customer at a restaurant that has a counter to make your order and pushes it down the counter towards the register where you pay. There are entrances on two sides of the building and only one register, so there tends to be two lines from both doors.)

Me: *to the customer at the front of the other line* “If you have decided, you can go ahead of me. I’m still deciding.”

Customer #1: *from the other line* “Thank you.”

(As he proceeds to the front counter, the customer who was behind me, Customer #2, speaks up.)

Customer #2: “Why did you let him through?”

Me: “I’m still deciding on what I’d like to order, so I let him pass so I wouldn’t hold up the line.”

Customer #2: “So you just let him pass? We have places to be and want to order as well! He should wait until after you and not break the pattern. You should learn some respect for everyone and not give anyone special treatment unless you give it to everyone!”

Me: *sigh* “If you’re in that much of a rush, you can go ahead of me as well.”

Customer #2: “D*** right I will!”

(Customer #2 pushes me aside as she moves in front of me to get to the counter. During the entire time she was ordering, she kept yelling at the employee about being too incompetent to work. After she and the next customer from the other line order, I step up to order. Whilst waiting for my order to be made, I wait in line to pay at the register. Upon reaching the register, Customer #2 is still near the register, looking through her order to make sure it’s right.)

Cashier: *to me* “Your order comes to [total].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s much too low for my order.”

Customer #2: *upon hearing the price* “Yeah, he ordered much more food than me. Why is his food cheaper?”

Cashier: “Well, the customer that he let ahead gave extra money and paid for this man’s order.”

Customer #2: “And that makes it right? Nobody deserves special treatment unless everyone gets it!” *turns to me* “I demand that you give me money to pay for my meal!”

Me: “I will not. As you told me earlier, I should learn to respect everyone, but I’ve already learned to respect those who deserve respect. From the rudeness that you have shown, not only me, but the employees working here as well, you do not deserve my respect.”

Customer #2: *turning back to the cashier* “This man is rude to your customers! I demand that you refuse his order and kick him out!”

Cashier: “I’m not allowed to refuse service to any paying customer. If you’d like, I can get my manager and you can talk to him.”

Customer #2: “D*** right you will!”

(Completely astonished, I now have to wait at the register for the cashier to return so I can pay for the rest of the order, which results in the line being held up. Eventually, the manager comes out.)

Manager: “Is there something I can do to help?”

Customer #2: “Yes, you can get this piece of trash out of here.” *she points to me*

Manager: *looking at me, then back at her* “I will not.”

Customer #2: “Excuse me? I’m a paying customer, unlike this a**-hole who’s practically getting his meal free! I demand you get him out of here!”

Manager: “As I said, I will not. This gentleman is here at least once a week and is kind to each of us here. You, on the other hand, have shown that you’re willing to make a big fuss over something insignificant and holding up all the other customers. If anyone should be kicked out, it’s you.”

(All the customers and employees cheer in agreement.)

Customer #2: “How dare you speak to me that way! I’ll be calling corporate and getting this place shut down!”

Manager: “We’ll be waiting with the security footage to back us up.”

Wish You Could Hide From The Hyde

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work at a popular family restaurant that has a fairly diverse clientèle. Two older ladies come in just as I start my shift. It happens to be a statutory holiday that the government created last year. As such it’s a day off for most people, but not a real holiday.)

Customer #1: “Good morning! Happy [Holiday]! ”

Me: “Happy [Holiday]. How are you today?”

Customer #1: “Everyone has just been so nice today. That young man-” *referring to our greeter* “-held the door open for us!”

Customer #2: *extremely aggressively*“As well he should!”

Me: *taken aback, I try to change the subject* “Can I get you something to drink to start you off?”

Customer #1: *beams at me* “I hope they’re paying you bonuses to come in on a holiday!”

Customer #2: *interrupts in a savage tone of voice* “What would it matter? They’re here all the time anyway!”

Customer #1: *gives a big smile to her companion then to me* “We’ll just have coffees for now.”

(I escaped gratefully and happened to catch the coworker I was relieving as she packed up.)

Me: “That table is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!”

Coworker: “Oh, they’re always like that. I was so glad when you came in that I wouldn’t have to deal with them this time. Good luck!”

Customers Without Filters

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology

(I’m a server at a popular family restaurant that normally bends over backwards trying to accommodate its guests as best we can. However, we are not a fine dining restaurant by any means. I’m serving a table of two middle-aged women. Note: the tap water in our municipality is consistently ranked as one of the cleanest in the world and is better than most bottled waters.)

Guest #1: “Is your water filtered? I only drink filtered water.”

Me: “No, our water isn’t filtered. We do carry several kinds of bottled water if you like, though.” *I list them for her*

Guest #2: “It’s disgusting that people expect you to pay for bottled water. Water should be free.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Our water by the glass is free, though as I said, unfiltered. However, we have to pay for the bottled water so we do have to charge for that.”

Guest #1: *huffs* “Fine, I’ll have a glass of water. Are your ice cubes made from filtered water? I only want them in my glass if they’re filtered.”

(Our ice machine is the size of an average car and is made of complex machinery.)

Me: “I’m actually not sure if the ice machine has filters as part of its system. It’s probably best to assume it doesn’t. I’ll bring you your water without ice.”

Guest #1: “No, find out if the machine filters its ice and come back.”

Me: “If you prefer, ma’am.”

(I go to the back and ask the kitchen manager. He has no idea either. We both look at the machine, but there’s no way to tell from the outside if there’s filters. There’s a huge sign on the outside saying “Danger: Do Not Open! Extreme Risk of Electric Shock” so we decide not to open it to look. I go back to the table with no new knowledge.)

Guest #1: “Well?!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. Both the kitchen manager and I looked at the machine, but we couldn’t tell if there are filters without taking apart the machine. It’s probably safest to assume there aren’t any. Shall I bring you your water without ice?”

Guest #1: “I don’t understand why you can’t just take apart the machine to find out for me. This is ridiculous.”

(I try for several minute to politely explain the size and complexity of the machine and why this isn’t really a feasible request. She constantly interrupts to insist that it must be possible to find this out and that I need to find a way. I have zero mechanical knowledge and as far as I know none of my coworkers know anything about machines. This machine would require a mechanic to take it apart.)

Guest #1: *finally* “Fine, I’ll have a glass of water with the ice on the side.”

Guest #2: “By the way, we have been sitting here forever and no one has taken our order! I just want you to know that the service here is terrible!”

(I choose not to mention that I’ve been at their table the whole time attempting to do just that. I also choose not to point out that they were just demanding that I leave their table for what would probably be several hours of mechanical work in order to answer a question for them.)

Jesus On The Munchies

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Religion

(I am a cashier at this restaurant.)

Customer: “I would like three sandwiches.”

Me: “Okay, that will be $3.65.”


Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to just give you a free meal.”

Customer: “BUT I AM JESUS. YOU MUST.” *he grabs the sandwiches and starts eating them*

Me: “What would Jesus do?”

Customer: “AHHH!” *throws a fit*

Manager: “You are banned from this restaurant, Jesus.”

(He paid with his credit card and his name was not Jesus, but Paul.)

Stupid By Half

| GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(A customer comes up with two separate checks. The server put one dinner on the first check but should have been on the second check. Not a problem… or so we thought.)

Customer #1: “This dinner wasn’t supposed to be on my ticket.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. I’ll just deduct it and move it over to the other ticket.”

(Customer #2 hands me her ticket and I make the changes. When the changes are done…)

Customer #1: “Now, I want to pay for my ticket and half of that plate you just put on [Customer #2]’s ticket…”

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