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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Irredeemable Ignorance

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

    Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “Chile.”

    Customer #1:  ”Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

    Me: *smiling*

    Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

    Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”

    Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

    Me: “Can I get your last name?”

    Customer: “Aslan.”

    Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

    Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

    (Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

    Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

    Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like the lion!?”

    Hostess: “… Right.”

    A Culling Of A Cullen

    | WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

    (I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

    Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

    Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

    Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

    Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

    (I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

    Their Service’s Days Are Numbered

    | CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (The restaurant I work at has a rewards program that is linked to the customer’s phone number. Occasionally, they receive text messages about various promotions.)

    Customer: “I haven’t received any text messages lately for the rewards program. I used to get them all the time.”

    Me: “That’s weird! I wonder what happened? Would you like us to double check that you’re still in the system?”

    Customer: “I guess I should give you my new number.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    Customer: “It’s just weird. I got the texts just fine on my old number, but then I got a new phone number and now I don’t get any.”

    Me: “Wait. You created a rewards program membership under your old phone number, you didn’t let us know you got a new phone number until now, and you’re upset because you can’t figure out why you weren’t receiving the promos?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: ” … I imagine updating your phone number will help.”

    Allow Me To (Mind)Read You The Menu

    | Solon, OH, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s a very busy night, and I am currently waiting on five tables. My current customer is an older male.)

    Me: “Sir, what can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know what I want.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

    (The customer looks at his son for help.)

    Son: “Dad, you have to tell her what you want to eat.”

    Customer: “She KNOWS what I want.”

    Son: “Just order some food Dad. She isn’t a mind reader.”

    Customer: “Steak.”

    Me: “What kind, sir? We have sirloin, filet, t-bone—”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    (This proceeds for about five minutes, selecting his steak, the temperature, and sides. Finally I get to the son, who has been deciphering the conversation.)

    Me: “And for you, sir?”

    Son: “… I forgot.”

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