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    In Hot Soup Now

    | The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

    (I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

    Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    When You Know You’ve Worked Too Many Doubles

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working the drive-thru late at night when a man pulls up to the window wearing a latex horse mask; his friend in the passenger’s seat is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.)

    Driver: “Evening. I’d like some cheese, please.”

    (I stand there for a few seconds, wondering if I’m dreaming.)

    Me: “…you mean a cheeseburger?”

    Driver: “No, just a slice of cheese, thanks.”

    (Without breaking my line of sight with the driver, I grab a single slice of cheese and give it to him.)

    Driver: “Thank you. Would you like a turtle?”

    (The passenger reaches into the back seat and pulls from it a large snapping turtle.)

    Me: “No thank you, sir.”

    Driver: “You sure? His name’s Waylon.”

    Me: “I’m sure, sir.”

    Driver: “Well, have a nice night.”

    (I have yet to tell any of my co-workers about this in fear of them laughing and saying I made it up.)

    Refunder Blunder, Part 9

    , | Fort Worth, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I work in a large county hospital, and a national fast-food franchise has a facility in the hospital food court. I eat there very frequently, and this day I am in line behind a lady who is a family member of a patient. She orders a hamburger combo meal.)

    Clerk: “Order #109 ready.”

    Customer: “That’s mine! That’s mine!”

    (She proceeds to carefully inspect every item in the bag, I guess to make sure she got every last French fry she was entitled to. She pulls out and holds up an apple fried-pie.)

    Customer: “I did not order this!”

    Clerk: *looking at the receipt* “Oh, no, ma’am, you surely didn’t. I’m sorry. But see, you weren’t charged for it either.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t order it.”

    Clerk: “No, ma’am, you didn’t. But you weren’t charged for it either.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want it. Take it back and I want a refund.”

    Clerk: “Well, we can’t take back food, but it’s ok. Just keep it. Our mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t order it and I don’t want it. Take it back.”

    Clerk: “Really, it’s okay. Just keep it.”

    Customer: “Well, I want a refund for it.”

    Clerk: “But you weren’t charged for it. I can’t give you a refund for something you didn’t purchase.”

    Customer: “It was in my bag and I didn’t order it.”

    Manager: *stepping in* “Yes, ma’am, I understand. We made a mistake, but you weren’t charged for the pie. PLEASE just keep it with our compliments. No problem.”

    (The customer slams the pie down on the counter and storms off with the rest of her order, muttering obscenities under her breath.)

    Clerk: *looking at me* “Can I help you, Doc?”

    Me: “I’d like an apple pie—”

    Clerk: “Oh, don’t even start with me…”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 8
    Refunder Blunder, Part 7
    Refunder Blunder, Part 6

    A Dashing Hero

    | ME, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I worked at a Chinese restaurant where many people would dine and dash on the owner, who they knew couldn’t catch them due to having bad arthritis in both hands. This happens one day when I have just come into work.)

    Old Lady: *comes in with her granddaughter and granddaughter’s best friend*

    Me: “Just three, miss?”

    Old Lady: “Yes.”

    Me: *takes them to a table* “Anything to drink while you decide what you would like?”

    Old Lady: “Pepsi.”

    Granddaughter: “Sprite.” *giggling*

    Me: “We have Sierra Mist. Is that all right?”

    Granddaughter: “Yes!” *laughs*

    Me: “…and you, miss?”

    Granddaughter’s Best Friend: “I’ll have the same.” *smiling in an odd way*

    Me: *nods and gets their drinks*

    (They take another 10 minutes whispering before they ordered. They take a half hour ordering food which costs over $100.00. By now I’m suspicious.)

    Me: *comes out of the other dining area in time to see them leaving without paying* “HEY!”

    Granddaughter: *laughing and running*

    Me: *grabs her by the upper arm* “Oh, H***, no! You will NOT dine and dash on MY shift, LADY!”

    Old Lady: *comes in and hits me with her bag* “LET HER GO, YOU B****.”

    Granddaughter: “OWWW! YOU’RE HURTING MEEE!”

    Me: “I’m only squeezing enough to hold you! Now, lady! If you don’t stop hitting me, I will call the police!”

    (An officer just happens to come in and I know him.)

    Officer: “[My Name], are you having trouble?”

    Me: “Can I do it just once?”

    Old Lady & Granddaughter: *both pale and stop what they were doing*

    Officer: *laughs* “Yes.”

    Me: *I grab both women and yank them outside where I swing the granddaughter out, and release the old lady* “Your choice.”

    (The old lady gave me the money for the bill, and a tip! The officer was laughing and my boss gave me a gift certificate for a free meal for my entire family!)

    Incorrectly Prospecting Your Lack Of Prospects

    , | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, School

    (I work in a fast food restaurant to earn some extra money while at university; I work at a branch quite far from my university in a popular shopping area so no one in my class knows. Most of the other people in my class are fairly well off and I don’t really fit in. I have colourful hair and three facial piercings. One day a girl from my class comes in with her mother and she notices me but doesn’t say anything as the mother steers her towards my station.)

    Mother: “I’ve told you time and time again that you have to stay in education. You can’t just quit university because you’d rather spend time with your boyfriend.”

    Me: “May I take your order?”

    (The mother places order for them both and as I walk to fill the drinks I hear her say to her daughter.)

    Mother: “If you drop out of university you’ll end up like that girl there, all filth and metal with no career or future prospects.”

    Girl: “Actually, mum, she’s in my class and she works harder than most of us. She helps us all with our work if we get stuck and is really nice.”

    (The mum was stunned into silence and I pretended not to have heard as I gave them their meal. The next day the girl asked if I wanted to go to a party with her!)

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