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    Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 2

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes angrily up to the counter with his burger.)

    Customer: “Look at this. This is unacceptable. The cheese isn’t even melted!”

    (The manager on duty happens to be currently working one of the registers.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We can’t actually melt the cheese, since our burgers are flame-broiled; we just stick it on the burger at the end. After it sits for about 30 seconds, it melts itself.”

    Customer: *louder and more agitated* “This is ridiculous! You call this customer service? You’re no better than [much cheaper competitor]! When I order a cheeseburger I expect my cheese melted!”

    Manager: “Like I said, we have no way of doing that, but if you let it sit for about 30 seconds, it should melt right on. Would you like me to get you a new burger?”

    Customer: *loud enough by this point that everyone is staring* “What’s the point? You’re not going to make that one any better! This is the worst burger I’ve ever seen!”

    Manager: “Would you like a refund?”

    Customer: “NO! I am NEVER coming here again!”

    (He THROWS his cheeseburger across the counter at the manager and storms out.)

    Manager: “Good! We don’t need your business!”

    (The man stormed out, and all the employees and everyone in line started laughing. The best part was that we looked at the burger, and the cheese was melted just fine.)

    Common Sense Just Melts Away

    Shouldn’t Spit Out Those Words

    , | Bloomington, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (We have posted signs on our doors stating that our lobby would be closing for a manager’s meeting two hours earlier than usual. Three college-age boys come in at about twenty minutes till close, clearly oblivious. My manager is the one to ring up their food, and the following exchange ensues:)

    Manager: “All right, and I have to tell you, our lobby will be closing in about twenty minutes for the managers to have a meeting.”

    Customer: “Wow! What d***s!”

    Manager: “Well, technically I’m a manager, so. . . .”

    (The customer immediately goes white, then red.)

    Customer: “I am SO sorry!!! …Please don’t spit in my food!”

    Manager: “I mean, you can literally watch us make it, so. . .”

    Customer: “I’m sorry!”

    His Explanation Isn’t Kosher

    , | NY, USA | Religion

    (I work in a college dining hall in the kosher kitchen.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, so what is kosher anyways?”

    Me: “Well, it’s—”

    Customer #2: “It means the food has been watched over by one of their priests.”

    Me: “No, actually, that’s a common misconception. It’s actually—”

    Customer #2: “No, it’s not. That’s how it works. Clearly, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” *the guy is wearing a cross around his neck*

    Me: “That’d be amazing, considering I’m an Orthodox Jew and I’ve kept kosher all my life. I wasn’t aware that non-Jews knew more about my religion than I do. Please, go on.”

    (Customer #2 huffed and left. His friend looked slightly embarrassed and hurried away before I can continue my explanation.)

    Gunning For A Date

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am female and have a love for outdoor activities. It is a few days away from Mother’s Day. I am walking a couple to their table and am chatting with them.)

    Me: “So, do you have any fun plans for the weekend?”

    Husband: “Yeah, I will be taking my wife fishing for her Mother’s Day present.”

    Me: *excitedly* “Oh, really? That’s so cool!”

    (The wife starts shaking her head.)

    Husband: “Oh, I was just kidding. She doesn’t fish.”

    Me: “Oh, well. you never know. For example, there may be women like me. If I had a significant other want to take me hunting for Mother’s Day, I would totally want to go. I figured that was the case.”

    Husband: “You know, I have a son who is single and he LOVES to go hunting and shooting.”

    Wife: “No, he doesn’t. What are you talking about?”

    Husband: “No, he loves hunting.”

    Wife: “He doesn’t even like guns!”

    Husband: “Well, he will!”

    Me: “…”

    Taking Time To Appreciate Good Customers

    | Tartu, Estonia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (A nice young woman my age comes into the fast food restaurant and orders a less commonly selected item. I have to go into the back of the store to get the ingredients because whatever coworker had made this item before hadn’t restocked the ingredients on the line.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait. I’ll try to make your item as fast as possible.”

    Customer: “No worries; it’s actually for my boss.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Customer: “Actually, the longer you take to make her lunch the less time I have to spend working.”

    Me: “That’s interesting, because you’re a nice customer and the longer I spend making your item the less time I have to deal with rude customers.”

    (Long story short, an item that should have taken me about five minutes took about fifteen minutes.)

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