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  • A Burger, Made Entirely Of Cheese

    | Portsmouth, UK |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

    Lady: “Yes I’d like a hamburger please…”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Lady: “…with cheese on.”

    Me: “Okay, so you would like a cheeseburger then?”

    Lady: “No, I’d like a hamburger with cheese on.”

    Me: “Yes, that would in fact be a cheeseburger.”

    Lady: “But it says on your menu that you do hamburgers.”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but you asked for cheese on it, so that is a cheeseburger.”

    Lady: *getting angry now* “Look, I just want a hamburger with cheese on!”

    Me: *calls over my shoulder* “One hamburger with cheese!”

    (Sound of giggling in the back.)

    Insert Karate Stereotype Here

    | Lincoln, NE, USA |

    Customer: “Miss, do you serve Chinese food at this restaurant?”

    Me: “Um…no, we serve mainly bar food, hamburgers and that sort of thing.”

    Customer, irritated and skeptical, points at one of the servers: “Yeah, but he’s Chinese.”

    Related:
    …And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

    One Slice Short Of A Pizza

    , | Idaho, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I need 6 frozen pizzas as big as tires!”

    Me: “I don’t think we sell pizza that big, sir…”

    Customer: “Oh come on! I’ve got two flats and only one spare and I don’t wanna call a tow-truck!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid that won’t work…”

    Customer: “Fine! Be ridiculous! I’m going somewhere else! If Tom Slick could do it, why can’t I?”

    Manager: “Holy crap! Sometimes I swear these idiots do these things on purpose!”

    She Uses The Google, Part 2

    | Rhode Island, USA |

    (Over the phone…)

    Lady: “Is there a way to see your menu before coming in?”

    Me: “Yes, you can google the name of the restaurant and the first link should take you to a menu.”

    Lady: “What’s…’google’ mean?”

    Me: “It’s a search engine on the internet. It’s at google.com.”

    Lady: “Just a sec…” *faintly* “Google…dot…com…”

    Lady: “It’s not working.”

    Me: “Did you spell the our name correctly?”

    Lady: “I can’t even get to this ‘google’ page! Wait… how do you spell ‘dot’?”

    Related:
    She Uses The Google
    Dubya Dubya Dubya Dot Duh

    Ah, Parents…

    , | Rhode Island, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (The phone rings at around 6-ish.)

    Me: “Hello, this is D-…”

    (I hear loud crying in the background.)

    Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”

    Me: “I…er…what?”

    Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*

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