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    With Great Pizza Comes Great Responsibility

    , | Louisiana, USA |

    (A hospital calls to order pizza.)

    Manager: “Thank you for calling *****, would you like to try the Superhero Special?”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Manager: “It’s an extra large, three topping pizza that comes with a coupon for the Spiderman 3 DVD.”

    Customer: “…the pizza’s delivered by Spiderman!?”

    Manager: *laughs* “Only if its delivered to the psych ward, ma’am!”

    Playing Along

    , | Portland, OR, USA | Top

    Me: “Welcome to *** Pizza, how can I help you?”

    Customer (sincerely): “Do you have any Chinese food?”

    Me: “Errr…no.”

    Customer (still earnest): “Ohhh…really? What about Thai food?”

    Me: “Oh! Yes.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “No. Not really. Just pizza.”

    God Complex

    | Florida, USA |

    (I hostess at an upscale restaurant in a very nice part of town. I get a call like this about once a night on weekends, which are super busy.)

    Customer: “Can I get a reservation for four at 7 tonight for Dr. xxx?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry sir, we’re booked solid from 6 to 10. I can get you a reservation for tomorrow night if you’re interested.”

    Customer: “But I’m a doctor.”

    If A Is Equal To B …

    | Colorado, USA |

    (Mexican restaurant; the pico de gallo salsa is the same as mild)

    Lady: “I’ll have the pico de gallo and the mild.”

    Me: “Oh, well, they’re the same thing.”

    Lady: “…But I want both.”

    Me: “O…K…” *scoops pico de gallo* “…there’s the pico, and…” *adds another scoop* “…there’s the mild.”

    Sure, We Have A Cow Out Back (Part 2)

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Top

    Customer: “Um…yes, are you guys going to put out more skim milk?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we’re all out of white milk, both skim and 2%. All we have left is chocolate.”

    Customer: “Completely out?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, we’re completely out.”

    Customer: “Oh, well. Do you think you could make some more?”

    Me: “Are you serious?!”

    Related: No Problem, We Have A Cow Out Back

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