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    Alignment, Lawful Good; Wisdom, -6

    , | Englewood, FL, USA |

    Customer: “Yes, do your combo meals come with a Coke?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, they come with fries and a drink.”

    Customer: “But what if I wanted something other than Coke?”

    Me: “Well, you fill your drink yourself around the corner over there, so you can get whatever you want.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *customer places order*

    Me: *sets out tray with receipt on top*

    Customer: *looks at receipt, suddenly frowns* “Hey, it says ‘Coke’ on here for a drink. I didn’t order a Coke!”

    Me: “That just means you ordered a drink.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t want a Coke!”

    Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. You can put whatever you’d like in your drink at the drink machines back there.”

    Customer: “BUT IT SAYS COKE ON THE RECEIPT!”

    Me: “All of the soft drinks are the same prices. It doesn’t matter what it says on the receipt.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *leaves with her cup and fills her drink*

    Coworkers: *laugh for the next ten minutes*

    Nonsensical Hypotheticals

    , | San Diego, CA, USA |

    (Customer has pulled up the the drive-thru after ordering a coffee.)

    Customer: “Can you add the cream and sugar for me?”

    Me: “It’s against policy to do that to prevent contamination.”

    Customer: “Well, what if I had no arms?”

    Me: *dumb founded*

    Customer: “If I spill the cream as I’m adding it while driving, I’m going to sue you!”

    Me: “Sir, you’re in a parking lot. You can pull over.”

    *customer speeds off*

    Manager: “If he didn’t have arms, how would he be driving?!”

    How OJ Might Order OJ

    , | Midwest USA |

    Customer at a drive-through: “Do you have orange juice, not an orange drink?”

    Me: “Yes, we have orange juice.”

    Customer: “I asked if you have orange juice, not an orange drink!”

    Me: “And I said we do have orange juice…”

    Customer, yelling: “Why don’t you answer my question!”

    Me: “I did…twice…”

    Customer: “F**k you! I don’t need to take this!”

    Me: “Oooookay then…”

    A Burger, Made Entirely Of Cheese

    | Portsmouth, UK |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

    Lady: “Yes I’d like a hamburger please…”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Lady: “…with cheese on.”

    Me: “Okay, so you would like a cheeseburger then?”

    Lady: “No, I’d like a hamburger with cheese on.”

    Me: “Yes, that would in fact be a cheeseburger.”

    Lady: “But it says on your menu that you do hamburgers.”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but you asked for cheese on it, so that is a cheeseburger.”

    Lady: *getting angry now* “Look, I just want a hamburger with cheese on!”

    Me: *calls over my shoulder* “One hamburger with cheese!”

    (Sound of giggling in the back.)

    Insert Karate Stereotype Here

    | Lincoln, NE, USA |

    Customer: “Miss, do you serve Chinese food at this restaurant?”

    Me: “Um…no, we serve mainly bar food, hamburgers and that sort of thing.”

    Customer, irritated and skeptical, points at one of the servers: “Yeah, but he’s Chinese.”

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