Random Acts of Specificity

, | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “What else do you want?”

Customer: “Peppers.”

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “… Peppers.”

Me: “We have three kinds of peppers not including salt and pepper. Which kind of these do you want?”

Customer: “PEPPERS.”

Me: “Do you want banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, or green peppers?”

Customer: “PEP-PERS.”

Me: “Do you want these?” *holds up the green peppers*

Customer: “Yes, those! Jesus Christ, don’t you guys know what a green pepper is?!”

Bacon, Lettuce and Taxes

| Springfield, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: *after completing an order* “Thank you; your total is $8.28.”

Customer: “$8.28? How is that? The #2 meal is $6.99, and it’s only 69 cents to make it a large! That’s not $8.28.”

Me: “Umm…there’s a 60 cent tax.”

Customer: “I didn’t order no tax!”

Me: “No, there’s a tax on the food.”

Customer: “But I don’t want tax on my sandwich!”

Me: “Sales tax?”

Customer: “Oh. OH! Sorry.”

Associate: *to me* “For the love of God, was she serious?!”

Something With Sprinkles, I’d Wager…

, | Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I’ll take a large coffee and something for my wife…maybe an apple cruller?”

(He pays for his stuff and I see him walk out to a car parked right in front of the store. He gets in, but the car doesn’t move. After about a minute, he storms back into the store.)

Customer: *loudly* “What kind of donut do you recommend for a hatchet-faced old witch?!

Me: “Uh….”

It’s All In The Details

| Noord-Brabant, Netherlands | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I had a High Tea a few days ago at your place. Could I speak to your manager?”

Me: “Yes, but perhaps I could help you as well?”

Customer: “No, I would like to speak with your manager.”

Me: “All right, one moment please.” *hands over the phone to the manager*

Manager: “Hello, what could I help you with?”

Customer: “I’m sorry, but I really have to complain about this: a few days ago we had this High Tea at your place, but the napkins weren’t good.”

Manager: “What was wrong with the napkins?”

Customer: “The napkins weren’t folded like in the photograph in the restaurant information folder we got.”

Manager: Uh…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “They weren’t folded like in the picture!”

Manager: “Was there anything else that didn’t go well?”

Customer: *pauses* “No, the rest of it was actually wonderful. The cakes and sandwiches were lovely, and the service was really good. There was nothing wrong with that.”

Manager: “…”

It Comes And Goes

| Derby, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Miss, is this a diet soda or a regular?”

Me: “Diet, sir – it’s what you ordered.”

Customer: “Are you SURE it’s diet?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I poured it myself.”

Customer: “Well, it had better be, because I’m allergic to sugar!”

Me: *later, taking the food order* “…and what would you like for dessert, sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cheesecake sundae.”

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