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    Time To Stuff Someone’s Mailbox w/Flat Lids

    , | California | Top

    Customer, upon receiving her Moolatte: “This has a round lid, can I have a flat lid?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the only lid that fits that cup is a dome lid.”

    Customer: “But I want a flat lid, Starbucks always gets me a flat lid! Why can’t you?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the flat lids we have won’t fit that cup.”

    Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.” *mutters* “Stupid kids…”

    (I go and get my manager)

    Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “This stupid employee of yours won’t give me a flat lid!” *brandishes the drink in his face*

    (My manager takes one of every single lid in the store and puts them in front of her)

    Manager: “Go ahead then.”

    Customer: *proceeds to try and put the lids on the cup, none of which fit* “This is ridiculous! Why don’t you have a flat lid?! Starbucks always has a flat lid!!”

    Manager: “Then go buy your drinks there and leave my employees alone.”

    Third Time’s A Charm

    , | Oregon, USA |

    (Our mall opens at ten, so the restaurant does not serve breakfast)

    Customer: *gazes at menu board* “I’d like an Egg McMuffin, please.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we don’t serve breakfast at this location.”

    (Customer, still gazing at menu, which lists no breakfast items)

    Customer: “Well, can I get an order of Hotcakes and Sausage?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we do not serve breakfast here since we can’t open before ten.”

    (Customer ceases looking at menu board gazes at me for a moment)

    Customer: “You don’t serve breakfast?”

    Me: “Uh…no.”

    … And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

    , | Pasadena, CA | Top

    Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Middle Eastern?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Egyptian?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “What are you?”

    Me: “Chinese.”

    (customer puts on offended face)

    Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”

    Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”

    Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!”

    Me: *mouth wide open*

    Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar

    | Oregon |

    Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

    Lady 1: “Um, yes. (to Lady 2) What are you having, dear?”

    Lady 2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

    Lady 1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”

    When They Ask Why, It’s Time To Run

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Me: “Would you like regular ice or ice made from coffee?”

    Customer: “What is ice made from coffee?”

    Me: “It’s … ice … made from … coffee.”

    Customer: *stare*

    Me: “Frozen coffee?”

    Customer: “Um… Why?”

    Me: “Regular ice then. I’ll have that out in just a moment.”


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