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    Behind Every Man Is An Embarassed Wife

    , | USA |

    (The place I work at, our dining room closes at 10pm but the drive-through stays open all night. I had just locked both the dining room doors when a man comes up and starts banging on the 1st door. We start talking through the door.)

    Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

    Customer: “You screwed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. You could go through our drive-through and they’d be happy to help you.”

    Customer: “I just came through! They’re the ones that messed it up.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, if you go through again they’ll fix it for you.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my car!”

    Me: “But you said you just went through?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have my car anymore.”

    Me: “I can give you our store number. If you call, we’ll replace your order tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Just open the door!”

    Me: “I can’t sir, we’re closed.”

    (The man then walks around the store to the 2nd door and starts banging there.)

    Me: “Sir, the only way we can fix this is if you go through the drive-through or give us a call.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a phone!”

    Me: “You can save your receipt and show it to us tomorrow. We’ll replace the whole order.”

    Customer: “This is bullshit!”

    (He then enters the drive-through on foot, weaving through cars in line, gets between the drive-through window and a car waiting to order and starts banging on the glass.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t open the window unless you’re in a car.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my car anymore and you messed up my order. Tell your employees to open the door.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t unlock the doors once we’re closed. That’s our policy. If you return in the morning, we’ll be glad to help.”

    Customer: “Don’t f*ck with me. I’ll call the cops on you! You can’t refuse service to me!”

    (Just then, a car pulls up behind him. The woman driving rolls down her window.)

    Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! Its not that big a deal.”

    Customer: “They won’t fix our order!”

    Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! This is f*cking embarrassing!”

    (The man gets in and the car pulls up to the window.)

    Woman: “I’m sorry. All that happened was you forgot to give us a burrito.”

    Manager: “We’ll get that for you right away.”

    (As soon as window is closed, the woman starts yelling at the man again.)

    Related:
    Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

    Miracle On Placebo Street

    | Northbrook, IL, USA |

    (I was a waiter at a 50′s style dinner in a mall restaurant where a customer asked me to turn the heat up.)

    Customer: “It’s a little cold in here. Could you turn the heat up?”

    Me: “I would love to, but the restaurant is open to the mall and we have no control over the mall temperature.”

    Customer: “Could you please just try?”

    Me: “I would love to but there is no way–”

    Customer: “I would really appreciate it if you would just try.”

    Me: “I’ll be right back and see what I can do.”

    (I then proceed to walk into the back house and munch on some onion rings. After a few minutes pass, I walk out.)

    Me: “How’s that?”

    Customer: “Much better!”

    The Straw Man

    , | Brisbane, Australia |

    (Holding a large box of straws, I walk out towards the customers side of the registers during lunch time at a busy shopping center fast food restaurant, to refill all the straw holders.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir…”

    (I walk up beside the customer, but still giving him some space despite the fact it was busy and crowded.)

    Angry Customer: “To hell with that c**p, Why do you get to go first? I’ve been waiting here for TEN MINUTES!”

    Me: “I’m just…”

    Angry Customer: “You’re just impatient, thats your problem, wait in line like the rest of us.”

    (A lot of other customers were staring at him, he had clearly not even realized I was in uniform.)

    Me: “Sorry sir, I work here and I need to refill these straws, a lady complained before because all the straw holders had run out.”

    Angry Customer: “Well why are you doing that NOW? Couldn’t you have picked a better time to do it?! I lined up here and all I want is a lousy meal and your in my way…” *continues on and on*

    Me: “Look, it’s our policy to not hand out straws because of hygiene reasons, so I must refill the straws so the customers can take them themselves so they can you know, drink?”

    Angry Customer, loudly: “You’re very rude. I want to talk to your manager immediately!”

    Me, sarcastically, as he had not noticed *MANAGER* on my name badge: “Hi, I am the manager on duty. My name is ****. What seems to be the problem?”

    (Other customers nearby giggle/laugh.)

    Angry Customer: “Well thats just f**king great, what a piece of s**t place anyway. F**k!”

    (Angry customer storms off after wasting about 15 minutes of his life over some straws.)

    Comes With Free Broadsword

    , | Connecticut, USA |

    (I’m working drive through when the headset beeps.)

    Me:: “Hi, welcome to *** Donuts, what can I get you?”

    Customer:: “Hi, I’ll have a barbarian cream!”

    Me:: “…a what?”

    Customer: “A barbarian cream!”

    Me: “…you mean a Bavarian cream?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that!”

    Who Needs Brains When You Have Money

    | New Hartford, NY, USA |

    ( I worked as a waiter at a country club with a bunch of really “Old Money” snobs. )

    Me: “We have a steak (of some kind, I don’t remember). And dude does it sound good!”

    Old Money: “Ahem! Excuse me! Did you just say dude?”

    Me: “Why yes sir. I did, I was just saying how good this dish sounds.”

    Old Money: “Well, excuse me young man. Dude AIN’T a word.”

    (At this point I’m thinking…are you seriously trying to debate this with an English Major by saying “Ain’t?”)

    Me: “Well sir, actually it is. A dude is a rich old man, like yourself, from the East who thinks they can live on a ranch in the West. And just for the record sir! ‘Ain’t’ is NOT a word! ”

    (Needless to say, I wasn’t allowed to wait that Old Man or his family at the Country Club ever again.)

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