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    The Return Of Captain Obvious

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer in an ice cream shop: “What’s in the Chocolate Caramel Cashew?”

    Me: “There’s really no way for me to answer that without sounding like a smarta**.”

    Customer: “Why? What’s in it?”

    Me: “It’s chocolate ice cream … with caramel … and cashews.”

    Related:
    Captain Obvious To The Rescue
    Belaboring The Obvious

    Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”

    Customer: “…okay.”

    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    , | Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like pineapple on my sub.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple. Only Mr. Sub has pineapple.”

    Customer: “Yes you do! I always get pineapple here!”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for quite a while, and we’ve never had it. Sorry!”

    Customer: “Excuse me, the customer is always right! You can’t argue with me!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer speaks to my manager: “Excuse me, your employee is arguing with me! What are you going to do about it?”

    Manager: “Don’t be so stupid! Get out of my store!”

    The Lost And Dumbfounded

    , | Mount Vernon, IA |

    Customer in the drive-thru: “Hi, I’d like a BK Veggie.”

    Me: “Sir, you’re at Hardee’s, not Burger King. We don’t have any vegetarian entrees.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks anyway.”

    (Customer sits there for a few minutes before driving away)

    Captain Obvious To The Rescue

    , | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, welcome to ***, what kind of sandwich can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Uhh… I’ll get a Club.”

    Me: “Would you like a 6 inch or a footlong?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, how long is a footlong?”

    Me: “It’s a FOOT LONG.”


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