It Comes And Goes

| Derby, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Miss, is this a diet soda or a regular?”

Me: “Diet, sir – it’s what you ordered.”

Customer: “Are you SURE it’s diet?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I poured it myself.”

Customer: “Well, it had better be, because I’m allergic to sugar!”

Me: *later, taking the food order* “…and what would you like for dessert, sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cheesecake sundae.”

He Who Eats Less, Laughs Best

, | Evergreen, CO, USA | Top

(While I’m working, I see this teenage girl pull up in an really nice car. With her orange spray tan and expensive clothing, I could tell it would be interesting.)

Me: “Hey, what could I get for you today?”

Customer: “You’re going to make me a non-fat shake with non-fat mix, non-fat milk and non-fat chocolate.

Me: “Oh, Ok…I’ll have that done for you in just a second.”

(Right before I start to blend the shake, she speaks up:)

Customer: “So since you work here, do you eat a lot of ice cream?”

Me: “Well, I suppose I eat enough to be able to recommend stuff to customers….”

Customer: “Well, you just look like you eat a lot of ice cream. You might want to quit your job before you get too fat.”

Me: “Thanks for that advice.”

(While my coworker rings her up, I proceed to add 5 pumps of chocolate syrup, extra chocolate chips, and tons of extra ingredients to her shake, putting it up to a total of about 4,000 calories.)

Customer: *taking a drink* “At least you can make a decent shake.”

We Have Confirmation

, | Newington, CT, USA | Uncategorized

(Our credit card machine went down, and we started to make signs for the doors alerting the customers to this. Before the signs were up, I had to ring up a customer’s order.)

Me: “The total is ****. I’m sorry; our credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see any signs!”

Me: “The machine just broke five minutes ago while you were still in line. I was just telling my coworker to make signs a moment ago….”

Customer: “I don’t have enough cash. How about debit?”

Me: “Well, debit would use the same machine as the credit cards, but either way our store does not accept debit. Just cash today.”

Customer: “How about a check?”

Me: “Sorry, no personal checks. Just cash today.”

Customer: *getting upset now* “Well, what do you expect me to do?”

Me: “The last customer went next door to use the ATM to get cash.”

Customer: “You’re being extremely rude, you know!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to explain to you that the credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t listen!”

Me: “…”

Finger Lickin’ Good Parenting

, | Windsor, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A man walks up to our hot case with his wife and two little girls.)

Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi – we wanted to get some chicken strips.”

(As I am taking his order, I notice his daughters licking the hot case glass.)

Me: “Excuse me sir, but your daughters are licking the glass.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well…aside from the fact that the glass is hot, we cleaned it this morning with a chemical cleaner to wash off a layer of grease build-up.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “The chemical we used is a known carcinogen. I might suggest that you stop your daughters from ingesting it.”

Customer: “Look, lady. You’ve obviously never been a parent. When you have kids, you’ll learn that it’s MUCH easier to just let your kids do whatever they want.”

It Was Only A Suggestion

, | Norcross, GA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “All right sir, here’s your meal.”

Customer: “Thanks a lot!”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

Customer: *serious* “Don’t tell me what to do!”

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