Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,399 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    When Mood Swings Attack, Part 2

    , | Waterloo, IL, USA |

    Click here to view the comic version of this quote!

    (Backstory: A woman orders a Reuben sandwich and returns to the counter 30 minutes later with about a fourth of the sandwich eaten.)

    Woman: “I want to speak to your manager right now!”

    Crew member: “Sure, no problem.” *goes and gets manager*

    Manager: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Woman: “Yeah, I got this reuben at 4 pm and it’s SOGGY!”

    Manager: “Well, ma’am, you purchased it half an hour ago…”

    Woman: “Well, I want a new one!”

    Manager, hoping to get the looney out of the store: “Sure, no problem.”

    (Suddenly, the woman goes from angry to flat-out crazy.)

    Woman: “HERE’S YOUR DELICIOUS REUBEN!!!” *rubs sauce on counter and throws part of sandwich at manager*

    Manager: *dumbfounded*

    Woman: “I’m sorry…it’s not your fault.”

    Manager: “…It’s alright…”

    Woman: *thinks for a second, then throws remaining sandwich bits at manager*

    (We all laughed quite hysterically, and our manager walked around with reuben sauce on his crotch all day.)

    Related:
    When Mood Swings Attack

    How Gluttons Complain

    , | Oklahoma, USA |

    (I was a customer observing this in line, not the employee.)

    Woman Customer: “I’d like a hot fudge sundae.”

    (The worker makes a hot fudge sundae and presents it to customer.)

    Customer: *eats spoonful of sundae* “The ice cream is melting.” *eats another spoonful*

    Worker: “I’m sorry. It’s probably because there’s HOT fudge on top of it.”

    Customer: *spoonful* “The ice cream is too soft. *spoonful* I can’t eat this.” *spoonful*

    Worker: “I could try to remake it for you, or get you something else.”

    Customer, still chowing down: “This is just awful.”

    (The customer takes another spoonful–by this time about half the sundae is gone.)

    Customer: “How do you expect people to eat this *spoonful* when the ice cream is so soft? *spoonful* The ice cream should be hard!” *spoonful*

    Worker: “Would you like something else?”

    Customer: *spoonful spoonful spoonful* Don’t bother. Just throw it away. *spoonful*

    (The customer hands what little is left to the worker and stomps away indignantly, still complaining.)

    My wife, not very quietly: “What a b***h!

    Worker: *smiles at my wife*

    Size Does Matter

    , | San Antonio, TX, USA |

    (I used to work a fast food drive-thru window in which I met very strange and stupid people.)

    Me, through the drive-thru intercom: “Hi, welcome to ***, how may I help you?”

    Man, to one of his kids: “Pick something damn it! I don’t have all day for your sh*t.”

    Me: “Hey ease up, would you?”

    Man, speaking to me: “You little sh*t! You don’t know who you are messing with!”

    (The man speeds up to my window with an angry look on his face. I look at him: a 5’5″, overweight and balding guy. Then he looks at me: 6-foot, 300 pounds of muscle, bone, and a relatively small gut. His expression softens slightly.)

    Man: “…were you the one on the speaker?”

    Me: “Yeah, that was me.”

    Man: “How are you doing? It’s a great day today.”

    Me: *big smile* “How’s the kid doing?”

    Man: “Fine…you aren’t going to take my order, are you?”

    Me: “Nope. My manager has the other headset and he might’ve taken your order if you didn’t piss him off. Have a nice day.”

    (I worked at that place for 2 years and a month before I quit. I still have bad dreams about the place.)

    I Like My Chihuahuas Extra Hot

    , | Calgary, Alberta, Canada |

    (A well-known taco-based fast food joint sold toy chihuahuas that talked when you squeezed them.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to Taco ***. My name is ***, may I take your order?”

    Lady: “What flavour do your chihuahuas come in?”

    Me: “…they’re toys, ma’am.”

    (And if that wasn’t enough, a few hours later another customer asked how much the talking chimichangas were.)

    Just Another Day In Stonerville

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Top

    I work at a gourmet sandwich company. We can make sandwiches for delivery, pickup, or sit-down. We often get calls from a lot of stoners that want their sandwiches delivered. Probably for “munchies.” It’s about 4pm on Saturday when I get this call.

    Me: “Welcome to Jimmy John’s, this is Molly. How can I help you?”

    Stoner 1: “Hey…yeah…”

    Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

    Stoner 1: “What?”

    Me: “Would you like to order something?”

    Stoner 1: “Yes…”

    (After about two minutes of silence…)

    Me: “Hello? Are you still there, sir?”

    Stoner 1: “Yeah, I’m waiting for you to like, ask me what I want.”

    Me: “…Okay, what would you like?”

    Stoner 1: *tells me his order*

    Me: “Would you like anything else with that?”

    Stoner 1: “Yeah… get me a cookie.”

    (At this point, I hear a plethora of other stoners in the background.)

    Stoner 2: “Cookies!? Where?”

    Stoner 1: *laughing* “Dude, I’m on the phone with the cookie company!”

    (Now I can hear Stoner 2 grab the phone and he begins talking to me.)

    Stoner 2: “Hey, cookie company? Make that two cookies!”

    Stoner 3: “Four cookies! I want two!”

    Stoner 2: “SIX COOKIES!”

    Me *trying not to laugh* “Okay, sir, will that be all?”

    Stoner 2: “Yeahhhhhh.”

    Me: “Will that be for pickup or delivery?”

    Stoner 2: “Delivery…” *gives address*

    Stoner 1: “DUDE, WHAT IF SHE’S A NARC?”

    Stoner 2: “Sh*t! You know that address I just gave you? I lied about it!”

    (Now I decide to have a little fun with them, considering they wasted my time.)

    Me: “Okay, but as a little treat, I’m going to have it delivered anyway. My car will be the one with red and blue flashing lights that reads P-O-L-I-C-E on the side.”

    Stoner 2: “A car with lights? That’s awesome!”

    Stoner 1: “Dude, she means the police!”

    Stoner 2: “SH*T!” *click*

    (We ended up delivering to them anyway, because TECHNICALLY they never canceled their order. Our delivery guy came back with the full order, telling us that someone answered the door to tell him no one was home.)

    Page 206/222First...204205206207208...Last