November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

1 Billion Served (And Eaten)

, | Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer’s order.)

Customer: “Is it too late to make the drink and fries big?”

Me: “Of course not, let me just charge it.”

Customer, to my manager: “It should be free since she didn’t offer it to me! You should offer it to everyone equally!”

Manager: “I’m sorry sir, she can’t give it to you for free. We’re all human. We all make mistakes.”

Customer: “Well, fine! Next time I want to be helped by someone who isn’t human!”

No Wonder He’s Always Stuffed

| Watertown, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(Seated at one of my tables is a grown woman. Placed across from her is a stuffed animal.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Can I start you off with a drink?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a diet coke.”

Me: “Okay, one diet–”

Customer: *gestures to stuffed animal* “…and he’ll have
our house wine.”

Me: *laughs, playing along* “He doesn’t look over 21, ma’am.”

Customer: *completely serious* “Oh, you’re right. He’ll just have a lemonade, then.”

Burn Me Twice, Flame On Me

, | Australia | Uncategorized

(Note: I’m a customer and overhear this conversation.)

Worker: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Customer:“I bought this garlic bread, and I burnt my hands and my mouth.”

Worker: “Oh, how did you burn both?”

Customer: “It was too hot in my hands, so I put it in my mouth…”

Mmm, Hemoglobin

| Lancashire, UK | Uncategorized

(I am cleaning down the kitchen and I manage to cut my hand rather badly. There are no bandages in the kitchen so I wrap it in a cloth and go to find my manager out front.)

Customer: “Excuse me, we’re ready to order our dessert.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to find a bandage at the moment. Could it wait a minute?”

Customer: “Well, I only wanted some ice cream.”

Me: *shows hand* “You want blood with that?”

Customer: “Chocolate sauce, maybe?”

Minor Dramas Are Major For Minors

, | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Uncategorized

(The customer rips the lid off of the shake I just hand her and frowns.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “That’s a vanilla shake.”

Customer: “No it isn’t. I want a vanilla shake.”

Me: “Well, I made it myself so I promise you it’s vanilla. Would you like me to remake it?”

Customer: “No, I just want a vanilla shake! This doesn’t look like vanilla at all. It’s all yellow.”

Me: “Ah, the vanilla syrup gives the shake a yellow tinge. It’s
supposed to look like that.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not ME you have to convince, it’s the seven year-old in the car. He won’t be happy!”