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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    Cue Dramatic Music

    , | St. Louis, MO, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a personal pan pizza for my son.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we’re all out of personal pans for the day. Can I get you something else?”

    Customer: “No! I guess my son will just have to go ahead and STARVE!”

    Me: “…”

    Mmmmm, Powder

    , | Portland, OR, USA |

    Customer: “Do your smoothies have egg whites in them?”

    Me: “Yes, the thickening powder contains dry egg whites.”

    Customer: “Can you make it without the powder then?”

    Me: “Not really, because then your drink would just be orange juice and ice.”

    Customer: “Oh, can I have the powder on the side, then?”

    Time To Slap “Low Cal” On The Lard Cakes

    , | Norway |

    Customer: “Do you have anything without calories?”

    Me: “Not except water, no. But I can make the baked potato with chili beans with no butter, making it more low-fat than anything else you’ll be likely to find around here. ”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “Well, if that’s the best you can do…”

    Pointless Tantrums

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA |

    Server: “What can I get for you to drink today?”

    Customer: “Diet Coke.”

    Server: “Is Diet Pepsi okay?”

    Customer: “No, I want Diet Coke.”

    Server: “Well, we only carry Pepsi products.”

    Customer: “Fine, then! I won’t drink anything!”

    (Whatever floats your boat, lady. It doesn’t make any difference to me whether or not you drink something.)

    Like Son, Like Father

    | Ottawa, Canada |

    (I bring a couple and their child place settings and a colouring mat for the 6 year old.)

    Me: “Hi, can I get you guys started with something to drink?”

    Father: “Sure, I’ll have a Pepsi, and bring me another one of those place mats. I like to colour while I wait.”

    Me: *laughs* “You and the boy are going to have a bit of a contest, eh?

    (I obviously thought he was making a joke.)

    Father: *agitated* “Yeah, is that a problem?”

    Me: “Uh, not at all sir…would you like Barney the dinosaur or Spongebob?”

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