October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Doesn’t Know Their A(merican)B(orn)C(hinese)’s

| Greenville, SC, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Chinese restaurant], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like an order for delivery.”

Me: “Okay, if you’ll just give me your-”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Is this a real Chinese restaurant?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’ve just never heard any one talk like you at a Chinese restaurant. I’m just making sure Americans aren’t cooking my Chinese food!”

How About Some Dessert Instead

| Ireland | Uncategorized

(I have a table of four foreign business-men. One of them looks very sad.)

Sad customer: “And also, you bring me tea because this country is very cold and I am sick.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’re not well. Of course I’ll bring you some tea.”

Sad customer: “…and then you marry me, because no-one will marry me.”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

Extra Crime Rib

| Grants Pass, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I ordered a large prime rib last time I was here and it was awful! I want a new one.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am I will be happy to remake it for you. We’ll have it ready for you in a few minutes.”

(I make a sandwich while the woman strolls over to the chips, hides a bag in her jacket and takes it to her truck. She comes inside with a water bottle, fills it up with soda and takes a seat.)

Me: “Ma’am, your sandwich is ready. So you had a large prime rib and a bag of chips.”

Customer: “I didn’t have chips!”

Me: “Yes ma’am, you took a bag of chips to your truck. We have it on camera.”

Customer: “Okay, maybe I got chips.”

Me: “And I have to charge you for a medium drink.”

Customer: “I didn’t get a drink!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. You filled up your water bottle with soda.”

Customer: “But it’s my water bottle!”

Me: “Yes, but you filled it with our soda. We have you on camera.”

Customer: “Okay, maybe I did that. But my sandwich is still free, right?”


| Georgia, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I was reading your menu. What is a smoked half-chicken?”

Me: “It’s half of a chicken that has been smoked over pecan wood.”

Customer: “What kind of chicken?”

Me: “Do you mean flavor? We don’t put any sauce on it…it’s served plain.”

Customer: “No…I mean what kind of chicken?”

Me: “Well, they just cut a whole chicken in half so you get the white and dark meat.”

Customer: “No! I mean, is it like from a cow or what?!”

Life Mangoes On

, | Bloomington, MN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I want a shake.”

Me: “What kind would you like?”

Customer: “A milkshake.”

Me: “Okay, sir. What flavor would you like?”

Customer: “Whatever kind you have.”

Me: “We have, vanilla, chocolate, banana, strawberry, peach and fudge. Which one would you like?”

Customer: “Mango.”

Me: “We don’t have mango sir, would you like the peach?”

Customer: “No! I want a mango milkshake. Why does nobody ever understand?” *walks away*

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